Newspapers / The Caduceus (Charlotte, N.C.) / Aug. 24, 1918, edition 1 / Page 12
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} i V- THE CADUCEUS. MEDICAL SUPPLY “TONSORIALITIS” HE SURE WAS HARD LIFE A terrible disease, unfamiliar to Medical Science, and commonly known as Tonsorialltis, is raging among the members of the Medical Supply De pot. When first attacked by this horrible malady, the victim has an insane de sire to become light headed, and pulls his hair in anguish. In response to an S. O. S. from our detachment when several men showed first symptoms of Tonsorialitis, the Chief Surgeon of the Q. M. C. rushed over to the barracks. He brought his field kit, o- a pair of “Clippers, hair, “which he had been using on the mules. He hurried sterilized his instrument with saliva and sand, and stated to work. First aid was soon rendered to Cor poral Collins, Pvts. 1-c Whally, Stev ens and Bremer. The next victim was our Chinese Chief Laundry Boss, W. S. Wilson. Thus far the work had gone forward smoothly and scientifically, but Wilson’s case presented complica tions. The hair clippers, though per fectly efficient for use on mules and sheep, proved to be too delicate and in strument for the operation upon Wil son’s head. The final diagnosis of the distin guished Q. M. Surgeon, was to the effect that bare facts presented by the Patient, were proof enough in them- 'selves, that they need never fear an at tack of brain fever, since their cran- iums were like a tramp’s trousers,-no seat for attack. He stated further that a steel helmet issued to them “over there,’’ would be about as much use to 'them as Silk kimonas. NEW PROBLEMS FOR HOSPITAL SURGEONS. Surgeons trying to take a clinical re cord of a patient. “Where you born? in Georgia?’’ “So they tell me.” “And raised there?” “No Sah, the rope broke.” “Where did the pqin start?” . “On der bottom an done growed up.” “How about hook worm, have you ever had any?” “Oh yes sir, I’es used dem for fish halt.” “I meant in your system.’’ “I’se puoh blood sah.’| “Did you drink whiskey, beer etc?” “No sah, not heah. “I meant in civil life.” “Yes sir, 1 se start when a chile.” “And kept it up?” “No sah, I keep it down.” Officer in disgust, “I give it up.” By L. Appleton. A NIGHTMARE "Whally came staggering in last Sat urday night, all tanked up on Straw berry pop and Lemon Extract, with his feet.and tongue making time in unis on, and pulled this:- “Hi-ca-shay, why is it that the hl-ca Aviation Corps produces worrild fam ous aces, and the U- S. A. Base Hos pital produces nothing but hi-Ca-deu- ces?” ‘Tis no wonder that it Is blamed hot. The “Pittsburg Sun” is wearing a broad smile, because Dave Brill, Ralph Logan, and Tom Goldman, are spending a ten day furlough in the vil lage. The Medical Supply Depot is delight ed to have Sergeant K. J. Dalfiuist, as it’s most recent asset, he having been transferred to the Detachment from the Base Hospital. “Dal” is well known here, and is one of the “pioneers at the Base Hos pital. - .s efficiency has been recogniz ed, and as a result he was made Ser geant, and transferred to the Property Office, where he is rendering excellent service to the Property Officer, 1st Lieut. Albert G. Clarke. Corporal Fendle, Pvts. Greene and “Shrimpo” Goldslager, are back home again, after spending glorious fur loughs in their former residences. Stockard. M. E. RHYNE R. D. LEWIS Gastonia Motor Co. DEALERS IN AUTOMOBII ES and TRUCKS Full line of Bicycles and Supplies MOVING TRUCKS Phone 391 GASTONI.A, N. C. Of course most of you at some time Have indulged in the liquor called beer. And leally drank more than your share, Which sent you tp bed feeling queer. The things that you saw while asleep Awake would have driven you in sane, I had an attack of that thing Iasi week. And what I saw I’ll try and explain. Saw an f.iep.hant packing his trunk. And a blind man reading th=> news. Saw an ostrich call a giraffe d.wn. And a horse wearing Douglas shoes. Savr. a tree hicak one of its limbs. And a cow shed Texas steore. Saw potaioes blind in the eye.s And corn "that was deaf in bo:h ears. Saw a river open its mouth. And a wart on the face of the earth. Saw a dentist work on the jaws of death. And a spade do a shovel dirt. Saw a quilt from the ocean’s bed. And salad that wasn’t half dressed. Saw a beer bottle break its own neck. And a trunk with a pain in the chest. Saw a stale loaf of bread get fresh. And a bucket that looked very pail. Saw a baboon with a monkey wrench Manicuring a tenpenny nail. Saw a speaking tube trying to speak. Heard a tune from a small rubber band. Saw a clock get a slap on the face. And a watch with gloves on its hands. Saw a man translate the wagon tongue And a lawyer without a sou. Saw a barber shaving a cake of ice. And a man beat an egg black and blue. Saw a scar on the head of a tack. And a pencil that had to be lead. Well, I’ll be hanged if Li Hung Chang, And then I fell out of bed. “Home From Furlough.” CONTRIBUTOR. THE Gastonia Gazette GASTONIA, N. G. Established 1880 Pttblislieii every Monday, Wednesday and Friday The only North Carolina newspaper not a daily taking a daily telegraph service. Two Dollars a Year and Worth it! For LIME CEMENT BRICK Call JNO. W. BEAL Gastonia, N. C. A BID FOR YOUR WHISKERS Also Chiropodist and Manicurist. SHOWER BATHS Realty Barber Shop Basement Realty Building on the Square.
The Caduceus (Charlotte, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Aug. 24, 1918, edition 1
12
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