rrrr
MOONSHINE LETTER
By “Wig”
THE CADUCEUS
(The author uses the above nome
de plume because it is false.)
My Sweet Peony:
Darlin haint that flowery languigeV
It’s a met afar, which is a tigger uv
speach. Well, histery has been bein
made fast sense I last writ to you. 1
got outen thet Base Horsepittel, on
Sat. and feseived notise frum a
lawyer at home that I wuz 21 yrs.
olde, and it shore did sirprize me to
learn thet I wuz 21, so early in life.
I am now rich as fertilizer both in
money and in knewledge, and you
ought to bee proud as a peacpck to be
my gal. I aint goin to be a wreckless
spendthrift now thet I am a .‘p40,00b
fineanseer, but I’ll be durned ef I
aint gonna have the luxuries uv life
that I hav bin denyin my self .all
these yrs., sech .as handychiefs and
sox. I’m gonna buy a new suit uv
underware too.
Well, I escaped frum the Hospittel,
jest in time to avoid death. The
nurse told me thet I had to take a
bath the next day, but the Doctor dis
missed me, so you sea I am still alive
and strong as ever. When I got back
to the bearracks, I found my shoes
full uv cigaret stumps that these lazy
hounds had put in em insted of
throwin them in the stove. Thar
wuz a big box uv eats sceiit me fur a
berth day present, and a box uv
cigars. I don’t smoke cigars so I
passed them aroun to the fellers and
they all sed what a good egg I wuz,
even if I wuz a old veteran^
They called on me fer a speach and'
stood me .up on a sope box. I wuz a
little shy at gittin that close to soap,
but 1 deyvered a addrest that wud
make Woodrow Wilson enveous.
Them boys jest sot their and tears
rolled down their glocks. Then they
desided to initiate me into the sosyety
uv Human Beings and giv me 21 licks
with a plank, ^har you don’t wear tin
hellmitts. Thar wuz abo.ut 50 of them
and 1 uv of me so I took hit in fun
and good naturedly like, but about
the 15th. lick i began to wish that 1
cud git a immediate divorce frum the
seat uv my pants. Do you know whar
they hit me? j ts sech a delikate sub-
jeskt that I jest can’t come right out
plain and tell you. Then they all con
gratulated me on my permotion. 1
laffed and told em to quit kiddin, but
shore nuf I looked on the “Bull let in"
Board, and niy name wuz thar as bein
one of a few who hed ben made a
FIRST CLASS PRIVATE. Hot dog!
I knowed Uncle Sam. wud reckonize
us good men. We air lak wheal
among chaff, and I don’t mingle with
buck privates NO more. I went to re
port fer duty and the Captin wuz
Teddy Roosevelted (that is dee-light
ed) to sea me back, and sed that,
nothin had gone, wrong sense I left,
■which made him miss me a grate deal.
I’ll be .a ofilcer befour I no it. I dis-
cuvereti tho that the Captins horse
stable hadn’t bin cleaned but sense I
left so 1 tuk my force uv limited ser
vices and made theni git to work. 1
am in charge of a'brigade of limited
servise men now.
I am too good a man to be hear so
I hav put in thr a transfer thru
proper militery channels, to go to the
front lines. When I went to go to
bed, some smart aleck ' had ♦stuffed
my piller full uv onions. Tt brought
back such fond memries uv you that
I culdn’t half sleep, so I must try to
ketch up sum sleep now.
With luv and sole kisses frum.
Your wealthy finanseer,
"Red.”
ARE ASSIGNED
THIRTY LIEUTENANTS REPORT
HERE FOR DUTY
Thirty second-lieutenants reported
at the Camp Greene headquarters on
last Friday morning from the training
school at Camp Wadsworth. They
have been assigned as'follows:
With the 84th Infantry—Clarence F.
Shower, Albert S. Wilson, Clarence R.
Wells, William' G. Williams.
The ' 383rd Infantry—Francis E’.
Harris, Coy C. Parks, ,Tohn R. Tucker.
The 5th Pioneer Infantry—Cuthbert
W. Bunckley, John D. Mangum, Guy
T. Potts, Mortimer Weinberg, Charles
M. Sinclair.
The 58th Pioneer Infantry—Albert
L. Croniley, William Bradham, Wil
liam T. Wilkins, Bonneau K. Stead
man, William L. Way.
The 60th Pioneer Infantry—Joseph
B. Furman, Barney B. Gussow, Albert
A. Tabor, Kenneth Taylor, Frank G.
Garlenck.
The 61st Pioneer Infantry—Nathan
iel B. Boyd, John G. Smart, Guy D.
Jacobs.
The 62ml Pioneer Infantry—Robert
D. Rutledge, Daniel EL Baird.
Mack C. Autrey, Sixth Anti-Aircraft
Machine. Gun battalion.
GETTING OUT
Gir Old of
'Ikt WAY and
GIVE A nUNNfP
A CHANCE
•TShq
NO TIME FOR GLORY NOW
Just a Little Higher Quaii^ at a Little Lower Price
Q^ae Piedmont Printer
PRINTING
THE HIGHEST
QUALITY
AT POPULAR
PRICES
FIFTH at TRYON STREETS
McKinnon building
We make a special price to soldiers,
- and are not in the "combine”.
The Best Cafe in the City
Located at 221 W. Trade St.
Between So. Ry. station and Square.
Sakigli
PRINTERS FOR ALL PARTICULAR PEOPLE
TOM MATTHEWS
PROPRIETOR
We cater to the Soldiers and the
Trav ling Public, and invite them to
“drop in to see us.” PHONE
A