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FOOLED ’EM AGAIN
A LAWLOR STORY ON THE FALL
OF THE BLOOD HOUNDS.
(By Joe Lawlor).
“Ye gods, Sue, it’s over. Come
down stairs and kiss your daddy be
cause Tom and Jerry will soon be
home.”
This must have been the feeling in
a general way throughout this good
old country of ours last Monday, when
the .wi.es flashed forth the news that
a colossal military machine had the
skids put under it so badly that its
longitude and latitude could not even
be given. Dear Lord, could you blame
us for feeling hilarious. We who the
b’ood hounds said wouldn’t fight. We,
who were accused of constantly fox
trotting to our meals and then to a
road house for dancing and vintage.
We, of whom they said, “Those
lounge lizards with perfumed hand
kerchiefs.”
Well maybe we did like our fox
t-ots mixed with a little vintage; may
be we did like a week-end at the
Country Club, where good fe lowshiu
reigned supreme. But at the same
time the pleasure process formed in
us a, love for liberty and woe be to
the'man who would steal the precious
stuff away from us because that is
what Old Glory flies for. We showed
the arrogant clans that we, too, oh
Laeademon could perish in the pass,
and hark ye to the Huzzas as our
millions marched away. And then
w'hat a marvelous change came over
Columbia. The so-called tango artists
answered reveille as smoothly as they
THE CADUCEUS.
answered Dabney Europe’s syncopated
outfit of jazz artists, and they maneu
vered their chow tools as deftly as an
Englishman his monocle.
It looked like a tough change in life
but nothing is tough when a youth car
ries American blood. They took to
military life like a baby to its mother
in a short space of time, they carried
a stride that had the 100-year goose
step clique holding their double chins
with astonishment. They nursed
their rifles like a miser his nickel, and
when the transports carried them
down the harbor towards the land of
the heroes and villains of the did world
they all agreed that America was a
great country to die for.
Well, the rest, dear reader, is his
tory. The battles of Catigny, Cha- -
teau Thierry, the Marne, Cambrai, etc.
On all sections of the blast „furnace
of war, they went singing and laughing
to victory. When they went to their
death, they were sorry that they
couldn’t give more. And stacked up,
against the Prussian guard, they were
certainly up against blood specialists,
in other words the super-hounds of
the big jam, but oh, boy, they were
just as much at ease as if they were
fighting all their lives. They outwit
ted them, outfought them, slugged
them and then lit their cigarettes but
of course kept right on going.
There were the lads who came
from offices, factories, dry goods
stores, etc., and all to protect that
precious liberty, that this country
above all has nourished. The Prussian
caste, never knew the thrill of a ref
eree's whistle on a fall afternoon,
when the eridiron warriors are sent
down the field accompanied by the
roars of thousands. They never knew
the thrill that a soiled baseball, kiss
ed by a late summer afternoon’s sun,
gives while sailing through the air.
They never heard the batteries an
nounced by Silk O’Laughlin. If they
had there would never had been such
a stately drama of death and carnage
pulled off. If Germany had dabb'eu
in sports and taught her youth the
laws of good sportsmanship, why Bel
gium would never have been plunder
ed and plucked.
And so we could go on and on and
quote the different passages of Kultur
that shocked a civilized world but
are lost. Its a good way to put it,
dear reader, that a good sport beats a
piker, yea. Bo, a hundred and one
back them up against the passages of
American sportsmanship and they
woys.
MAKES SANDWICHES.
The enlargement of the detachment
canteen, at the end of the company
street, continues and this time it is
the insta ling of a hot plate and ar
rangements for supplying egg and ham
,sandwiches. One or two of the can
teen men have been slightly burned
by the frying greece but the popu-
l,'’rity of the sandwich venture is such
that the accommodation will be con
tinued.
GET FURLOUGHS.
Bunkley, Ba”rett and Elson have
been the fortunate men in the last
few days to corral the much coveted
slip that permits them to, leave for
home.
GATES S&'l'e- TIRES
Cost 1-2 as Much-—20 per Cent. Oversize
GUARANTEED PUNCTURE-PROOF
3,500 MILES
Not a ^^sewed on/^ ^Vulcanized or ^^retread^^ in any
sense of the word. Made of the very finest grades of pure
rubber and lohg Egyptian fibre. Take the worry out of
driving and ride on velvet. /
NOTICE HOW MANY GARS ARE GATES EQUIPPED
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