Newspapers / The Caduceus (Charlotte, N.C.) / Jan. 4, 1919, edition 1 / Page 12
Part of The Caduceus (Charlotte, N.C.) / About this page
This page has errors
The date, title, or page description is wrong
This page has harmful content
This page contains sensitive or offensive material
: • M 12 THE CADUCEUS \ ThOrtiwoi % Deliverea by HOWARD K. THOMPSON RESOLUTIONS LIFE IN THE ARMY OF COURSE WE ALL MADE A FEW S the cloudy Dawn of 1919 I spread itself over the i south of North Carolina it found many of the boys with good intentions. M Strange how a new year coming around will stir up thcjse High er Qualities in a man: for instance; our genial and smiling friend Sgt. Mills has resolved not to take all his meals ^at the Red Cross building, “Kel” has resolved to keep the mail orderly hereafter; the resourceful and gifted barrel tone Gath hat resolv- resolved to sing only in the key, and more often than once in 2 months to our thirsty and philharmonic personel, Sgt. Franck has plighted himself to allow society to enjoy his presence only on those festive occasions at which his nobler qualities will be most evinced,—such as dances, and also dances,—to say, nothing of ... dances. “Sol” Laske has resolved that the messes he makes hereafter will be not only more pleasing to the palate, but also more nourishing Jack Barth, who has for years splashed ‘victuals’ as the blue-ribbon mud-flourisher for the “Cue-Em” Club, has made a mighty oath to the effect that hereafter not only speed but pres- tidigitous equilbristic and graceful ease with form, shall be used in driv ing home the pies and groceries to their respective consumers. The ex-janitor of the Morg has now the position of Gard, and has pledged himself to work at all times for the interest of the members of the detach ment, keeping, very quiet, and speak ing only when there is absolute need that somebody should laugh. Joe Lawlor has told us that during the rest of the Winter Season at Cramp Clean (2 weeks!) he will save nothing of his/rast supply of jocosi ties, pons, witicisms, levities, etc for the New Englanders, but will g-g-give us all a susus-mile allyol’ t-t-time now, and k-keep us . happy before we g-g-o. It was given us in confidence that “Friday” McGowan henceforward had resolved that when talking in his sleep he would recite only poetry, Grims Fairy Tales, or selections from the Psalms; whereas Cook Leighton, the senorific somnulent singer has deter mined that his nocturnal selections Vonce I vas encysted in de Army. Dey send me to it Cramp Clean by Nord Girlina vlch is surrounded mit bines unt ret inut. Von day I catch it a cold by de head, und I tell him my office-boy—I mean my officer—dat I cant saw wood not any more, unt I cant git up vit de morning revill. So he sends me to it de Base Hospital. I donno vy dey call it de Base—it is on de hill— unless evryvun dere is low. Anyhow I vent to it de Base. Dere vas a punch of Cross Red nurses vot put me into a clot or punk, in vot dey call a vard_ My yard vas vard 8. Dots a fine name for such a dry place. A vard Is a large barn heated vit a alcohol lamp. It is shrouded vit leaky boards tru vitch de vind plows all de Vinter long. , A Red Horse nurse is a girl vot don vont to shtay at honae, unt vaiRs to learn to gif alcohol baths. She valks up an’ down de vard all de day like she vas busy, unt gets constricted ven her room is vishus-looking. I vas in de vard von day ven a doctor from de Cemetery Corps comes in unt punches me vit machinery unt looks puzzled about it. Bye an’ by somevon comes in unt vounds me by de finger.—unt everything is a se cret—I donne vy everything is dat dey don’t do it. Dey vash it my troat vit a vooden sponge for 6 or 7 monts unt den I am a convalescer. Dot means I am allowed to do notting but valk in a kimona unt read it de New Testament and Robert Chambers. Eefnigs I go by de Big Crossed House unt read some more andt play pinochle unt vatch de fire unt write foolish letters to Beckie. Maybe you don’ like de life in de Army, but I tink id is a great institu tion! ' should hereafter be onlji’ from the operas and classics. The well known Dave Briu win at all times from now on hit the plate not the shirt of the applicant with the Mood-gargle. “Bill” Faulkner will hereafter assign ' duties such as H. R. R., 4 hrs. sleep, H. A. W., 3 hrs sleep, etc., and will see that the duties are quietly performed by providing those assigned to this fatigue with feather lounge^. THE NURSES DANCE D@S.T IVI3/CI ' “I went to the Nurses Dance the other night—New Year’s Eve. It was the latest thing.—until 1 A. X., which is late enuff to bring out all the dis qualifications which one’s pedal ex- tremeties may have. I found mine to be useless after 1:15 by the watch. I was watching others too. I believe that many other pairs gave out before 1:15, but their owners continued to move about as if dancing. I danced with some new girls at this dance:—I mean girls with which my dancing qualifications were new. have a maiden aunt whose step mother dances worse than some of them,—but not worse than many of them. I learned some new holds at this dance;—I used to think that the half- Nelson was an A 1 superfine, but now I realize that even a full-Nelson has given place to the “75 centimeter grapple” or “Gorilla Clutch.” Did you ever have a dame spring for your thumbs or one of your fingers and hold on for dear life thruout the whole movement until it became a lifeless mass—well, Mac, that hap- hened to me—I tho’t I’d never be able to count my change again. My thumb recovGrod consciousness as soon, as the cake came around. They served coffee too. Gus Horist drank his from his saucer, and I ask him why he didn’t drink it out of his cup— and he said he’d tried that once but had nearly punched out his eye with the spoon. There were a lot of the very prom inent nurses present and the party was a real success. MUD SLINGIN’ GUESS WHICH IS THE Q. M. AND WHICH THE MEDICAL SUPPLY
The Caduceus (Charlotte, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Jan. 4, 1919, edition 1
12
Click "Submit" to request a review of this page. NCDHC staff will check .
0 / 75