Newspapers / The Caduceus (Charlotte, N.C.) / Jan. 11, 1919, edition 1 / Page 14
Part of The Caduceus (Charlotte, N.C.) / About this page
This page has errors
The date, title, or page description is wrong
This page has harmful content
This page contains sensitive or offensive material
! i:i 1 I '■) I ■ J; ' 1 r^' i i;f H' PESSY MIST AND OP TIMIST WRITE HANK EAR Hank: — This life is awful. This is the worst camp I’ve ever been in. It’s been so cold here lately that I’ve nearly frozen. I wish they’d discharge us, the war’s over anyhow and they’re just keeping us here for spite. I've had lumbago for the past week so as I could hardly walk, but they make me go on duty just the same. Some of the patients have left, but they were the best ones, of course it’s always that way. And only the home ly nurses are left. The barracks are gloomier every day and the orderly makes the fire smoke so all day that it nearly chokes us. The mall never comes and every body is so bored evenings that they become sick of life. The chow has given me such in digestion that I can hardly eat. There have been several deaths lately—I’ve often felt I was going to die too. I cant sleep nights because 10 of the men in my barracks snore so. I cut my finger yesterday on a nail which was sticking out on one of the walls—it may be infected tomorrow. That shows you how careless the men are about nails. They’re a rough bunch anyway and always want to fight. Well, I hope I can get home soon; the folks say they want me to stick it out here, but I’m going home just to spite them. S’long, ' Pessy Mist. Funny, how Before you go to Sleep you Think of all the things You want to do To-morrow. Then when you awake And gird your loins In preparation. For the day of action. You try to think Of what you want To do and I’ll,be darned if You can locate A single thing You thought of Just before you Went to sleep. Can you? Artemus DeTect was a retired yet respectable society man of fifty odd summers and 3 even ones. He had green skins of large denomination and enuff to furnish nameplates for a whole days output of the N. Y. Amer ican. Old DeTect had one Offspring, Kant,. named after a Book which had been ALL RIGHT IN PLACE I Barracks Barber (after the finishing smear with the ubiquitous lather): “How do you like our new oatmeal soap?” Victim Substrate: “Seems nourish ing,—but I’ve just had nvy breakfast!'’ THE OTHER ONE Dear Hank:— I’m feeling tip-top here—I feel like uprooting a couple of pines every morning for breakfast. My appetite is enormous and we get plenty to eat and good stuff too. You’ll wish you’d been in the Army after I knock you over a couple of times. It’s been brisk the last week but it puts pep into us and makes us healthy as rats. Lots have been leaving and soon they’ll close the place and we’ll all be back home. Our barracks are full of real army men, hardy,and rugged. They’re al ways out for the bright side, and as we sit by the smokey stove and smoke, it seems sometimes iike a big camping party which was stormbound A bunch of the nurses have left to be transferred to other places. We were sorry to see them go, but glad to feel they were happy at the change. The few that are left are jolly and evenings at the Red Cross fly by quick ly and pleasantly. I haven’t had many letters of late, but I know there isn’t much to write and that my friends are waiting to talk with me when they see me. Any how no news is good news. Give everybody my veribest regards and tell ’em all I’ll see ’em soon. Yours, Just Op Timlst. presented to Father DeTect years ago by a studious Friend. Altho’ DeTect had never been able to read the Book, nevertheless he learned to respect it and hald it sacred. He had hoped that his sen might be held in the same light. It happened that his son was, but the light went out. Kant had, ever since the baby-car riage era, a strong Proclivity to In vestigation and Deduction. Such sal ient points as: fire burns, water pours, ice melts, etc., were to him an Open Book; most of the other Books were closed to him however. Nevertheless he read Dick Merrl- wel vigorously, and knew Sherlock Holmes from the Kick-off to the Finish. He omitted none of the Greater Mas ters either, such as Gaboriau, Anna Katherine Green and LeBlanc, to say nothing of Edgar A. Poe. In fact the Boy was shrouded in Mystery. He was the greatest Mystery to his Par ents; they marvelled as to what to do with him. Now it came about that Kant be came of age and his Generous Parent looked upon the Detective Profession as a caterpillar does on a parched leaf. He would rather Kant would become a Retail Grocery Clerk than a Secret Service Ferret. Then a great thing happened: these United States went to war, Kant was drafted—and—there was no Detec tive Detachment in the Army. What was to become of our Hero? Was he to sink into oblivion in the surried ranks? Was his talent to be lost, and of no avail in the Legions of Vic tory? Ah! Nay! Then where did they put him that he might utilize these divinely cul tivated attributes of Detecting? —Kant was given the post as Bar racks Sergeant for Barracks No. 3. '
The Caduceus (Charlotte, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Jan. 11, 1919, edition 1
14
Click "Submit" to request a review of this page. NCDHC staff will check .
0 / 75