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1
16
THE LINE
“This is a weird outfit. Two min
utes hy the watch and no one has
spoken a word. Boy, get your feet off
that stove, you’re screening off the
heat with them,” said the Graceful
One as he shifted in his seat. “Must
have been out late last night, and fix
ing for a sleep now.”
“Late nothing,” said the Private,
“this nice dry climate keeps my feet
so wet, I have to thaw them out.
Must have come through barrels of
water between the barracks and board
walk this morning. Talk about weird!
It isn’t this wish-wag gang that’s at
fault, it’s the weather.”
“Stage all set?” asked the Graceful
One.
“Yes, stage is all set and we’re
ready for work. Sweeping and clean
ing done for the day, instruments on
boiling tor the victims,” “The only
thing left to be desired, is that you ,
all brighten up and dispel the gloom.”
“Some probie has the toothache;
coming right over for treatment.”
“Guess I’ll take care of the lady, '
comes from one of the booths, as
Lieut. A is heard to raise one of the
windows to let in some sunshine,
which is peeping through the pine
tree-tops.
/ “I see you first; she comes to booth
No. 2,” answers Lieut. B, whose domi
nant musical voice lends tone to the
flowery speeches of Lieut. A.
In the face of the existing condi
tions of rivalry between these two
gentlemen, it is necessary to add that
the one who first sees the approach
ing lady, (be she young, old, plain or
pretty, but especially if she is pretty)
sings out, “I see you first,” as a sort
of claiment note. In a field of work,
where ladies are in the minority as
they are in camp life, it is most essen
tial to act quickly. '
As the probie enters, she is ushered
into the booth by the Mississippi lad,
who fondly places a towel under her
chin.
“Smells like a drug store in here,"
comes from the muffled mouth of the
figure in the chair.
“Think so?” questions Lieut. A.
What does it smell like in the line of
medicine. Had much practical or
theoretical work in materia medica?
“Oh, indeed yes. We’ve already had
our examinations.”
“I’m going to put some Squint-
essence of squabs on cotton in the
cavity of your tooth. Of course you
know how splendidly it works in a
case of this kind.”
“Well' yes. I guess so,” murmurs
the probe.
“One of you boys find the Squint-
essence of squabs, in the medicine
cabinet for me,” he asks in his most
professional manner.
The door opens and six feet of
ebony stature fills the aperture.
“Good-morning Rastus,” greets the
sergeant, as he picks up pad and
pencil; “What can. I do you for this
morning?”
“Can’t do me for nothin’, sah,”
answers Rastus with confusion;
“Captain done said you’d fix my tooth
for nothin’.”
Lieut. B appears from the booth,
THE CADUCEUS
THE LAST MATCH
CAMP Q. M. C.
It’s my last match,
I toss the empty box
Upon the embers which are low.
I gaze a while,
A strange procession of my memories
Pass by defiantly. They’re not in
vited; I
Would never conjure them—
For in my work at present—best
I didn’t reminisce or speculate
Upon whatever things I might be do
ing ■
It is not late—say ten;
But lonesomeness breeds discontent
There are companions all about—
They are my “buddies”;—khaki-clad.
Yet why do some of them look sad?
Perhaps they think the same as I, -
Perhaps they feel the days go by
And wish they might be homei with
friends;
There are those friends
Whom one might meet
In such a place as this
Whose every presence round the glow
And circles of our fire may chase
Away the Demon Care.
They are not men.
But white-clad warriors—
Some in blue, who used
To sit and read or write
And when the evening might
Be drab, one need only look
Upon their cheerful faces—
Then the thot that this could
Truly be “Our Home” dismissed
Disquietude.
They’re gone—
The embers die—
The hearth is cold.
—By Howard K. Thompson.
Sergeant Markiewity returned
Thursday from his business trip to
Chicago. He says he found time
enough to see the Pollies, but other
wise it was nothing but business, bus
iness, business.
Sergeant George Crawford is now
engaged in liquidating the affairs of
the Q. M. C. 'Canteen.
Sergeant Fred Kreiner is taking a
much needed rest, having decided to
stay in for a week.
>|e ^
Why is it that Sergeant Griffin of
the Motor Transport Corps is so fond
of the Finance Office?
* * *
Sergeant Max Marcus has grown
very fond of the south since he has
been in Camp Greene. He is con
tinually talking about Virginians,
southern hospitality, etc.
Sergeant Daniel Teeter finds it very
hard to give up one night a week to
guard duty. What’s her name, Teet-
or?
Look out, there! Here comes the
old soldier, Ben Edwards. He is chief
of the “Goldbrickers’ ” Union and is
known as “Big Ben.”
wiping his hands on a towel, saying,
“If you’re a brave soldier we’ll do it
for nothing, other wise you pay up,
man.” After examination, he adds,
“Pretty big cavity there, ’frald we
(can’t fill it.”
“You mean, you all got to pull it,
sah?” asks Rastus in frightened tones.
“That’s just about what it means,
only we don’t pull one tooth at a
time,” said the Lieut., “We have «n
instrument that pulls six of them at
one time.”
Rastus rolled his eyes towards the
door and slowly slid his feet to the
floor, as he said, ‘Cap’n, Ah think that
pain’s done gone now in my tooth;
reckon ah’ll wait a spell ’for I have
it pulled.”
“Oh, don’t be afraid,” said the Lieut,
as he pushed him back into the chair.
“We’ll hypnotize you, so you’ll never
feel the pain at all,” and with a wide
flourish of his arm, he passed a suc
tion bulb to the Graceful One who
was standing behind the chair. The
latter shot a small stream of water on
the back of Rastus’ head which made
his eyes grow twice their normal
size, while the Lieut, with a piece of
cotton and instrument placed a
temporary filling in the cavity.
“Wake up, the show’s all over, said
the Lieut, with a wink of his eye.
“Now, we did’nt hurt you, did we?”.
“No sah, shure didn’t. You all some
hypnotizef, cause ah didn’t feel no
pain ’tall.”
That’s the way we do business,
boy, come back again.”
Private Friedrich of the Finance
Office says he got married while on
his recent furlough, but we are all
from Missouri. We wonder who gets
his Class A allotment.
* * *
Sergeant Plumer, the major’s order
ly, is dealing in stocks when he is
not on duty. His duties keep him
in town most of the time.
Sergeant Greenleaf, Chief Clerk to
the Property Office, like all big busi
ness men, must get paid for what he
knows. Certainly it is not for what
he does.
• * *
Civil Clerk Brady is putting “pep”
to the Finance Office.
BE CONSIDERATE.
The dancing class for beginners is
conducted at the Red Cross building
on Thursday evening between 7 and
8 o’clock. Mrs. Baker, teacher of the
class, would deem it a favor if those
who understand dancing would allow
the full use of the stage for that hour
for those who are tyros.
Batist—“Dey tells me dat Mt.
Mitchell is de highest place dis side
ob de Mississippi.”
Kid Foster—“Dey sho ain’t dun no
tradin at de canteen den.”—The
Oteen.
For “Our Own” boys let us have
awaiting a permanent Military Service
Record, an artistic display of 8 colors,
and which may be had at $1 from D.
W. Cone, Dist. Mgr. Box 633, Charlotte.
Money accepted in Money Order, Ex
press Order or Postage Stamps.—Adv.
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