Newspapers / High Point High School … / April 1, 1949, edition 1 / Page 3
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April 1, 1949 THE SETTER Page Three Baseball In Dire Need Of Something New; Here^s What Proposed New Plan Just Running Over With Possibilities By Rhubarb Baseball cries aloud for more suspense; I have worked out a plan to give it just that. In the deciding game of the World Series, the bases should not be anchored to the ground. To clarify my plan to the reader, let us suppose 'we are in New York, in the final game of the World Series, with the Yankees and the Dodgers tied at three games each. It is the last of the ninth inning and the score is tied. Peewee Reece is at bat, and Dixie Walker is at third. Reece slaps one down across the infield and starts running for first, while Walker tries to come in and score from third. The Yankee catcher, let us say Silvestri, is entitled to pick up home base and run with it. He can run into the grandstand if he chooses. He can run from Ebbets Field to the subway, catch an express train to Manhatten, grab a coach for LaGuardia Field, and leave for Canada if he can make it without Dixie Walker catching him and touching the bag. The scheme is running over with possibilities. A World Series might conceivably end in Tibet or Tierra del Fungo. We would have weeks and even months of nervous and suspenseful waiting before the issue could be decided. There would be news bulletins from strange quarters of the globe, such as: ODESSA, USSR, FEB. 4 (AP) —Ken Silvestri, of the Yankees passed through here last night traveling in the dead of night with home plate slung over his shoulder. Dixie Walker arrived this morning by dog-sled, sub mitting to a brief interview, asked “Which way did he go?” and vowed that he would touch home plate before March 15, barring severe blizzards to the eawt of Odc««a. He hurried oft— in an easterly direction. Betting odds around the Kremlin now favor the Yankees eight to five. “You see, my good I’eaders, how it would work? There are a few details that would need to be ironed out, but such is the high quality of minds governing base ball that I have no doubt the scheme would be workable. I want nothing out of it except a heroic statue of myself in New York and twenty per cent of the gate at all New York ball games for five years. End of Quotation. BOYLES DROWNS (Continued From Page 1) world by snapping a goldfish in his natural abode. “Now, it seems that he got a little too engrossed in his work; and, becoming perturbed over the fact that the culprit wasn’t hold ing his fins at an attractive angle, Dick poked his head in for a few words. Well, sir, that fish focused a steady, hypnotic stare on Boyles —you know they’ll do that some times—and gave that boy a Double Whammy what was a Double Whammy. Boyles remained mo tionless for ten minutes— and, well, then it was just too late.” Final arrangements are incom plete as yet although it is almost certain that last rites will be held in the darkroom. Surviving Boyles are twelve brothers and seventeen sisters. One of his sisters, a spokesman for the group, made the statement that they never had had any mother or father; but among a few circles, there is a strong suspicion that she’s just telling a big fib, that’s all. I swannee, we just couldn’t think of a dog-gone thing to put in this 'space. Jim’s Shorts “What athletes are these?” After reading this colossal condensation concerning activi ties of the celebrities in the snorts world of High Point High, there’s a slim chance you might be able to answer this question. MOVING IN SPORTS . . . Well, from here it looks ai though the undefeated chess team of H. P. H. S. is having a more fortunate season than some of the other teams. Sparked by Letter- men “Checkmate’’ Shufelt, “Pawn” Albert, and “Tony” Tuhrman, the team has advanced to the finale. (We’re not sure what’s final, but that’s O. K.) One darkhorse re serve on the bench who would bear watching is one Hank Rohde, a promising suspect. We’ll have to hand it to him. That Sonny Lee, though only a sophomore, mind you, has become the school’s only five-letter man already. Besides holding two State Chump titles. Sonny (alias Robert E.) is currently leading the back- scratching team to new laurels, being runner-up in the state bath meet, held last week at Wash-ing- ton. He placed second in this dirty sport. DIGGIN’ DEEPER Jerry Laws, a newcomer to Senior High, has of late turned in several brilliant, startling per formances on the track. He now unofficially holds the rec ord for the 440. But Laws has developed an unusual, novel twist. He runs backwards. Also the wrong way. Track officials say this last condition may have to be corrected, but stubborn Jerry says, “No, I wanta to do it my way. see?” As of now, however, they don’t. EST-CE QUE VOUS SAVEZ OB DIDJA KNOW . . . Sammy Snead owes Wheat Mil ler a dime (no kiddin”") . . . Bill Ellington has definitely decided on attending Jack ’n‘ Jill Junior College next year. The scholarship offered him there was of such tan talizing terms that Ellington sim ply couldn’t sc.y no-to that, luscious doll. He will, no doubt, become another man on the hopscotch 13 . . . That Sinston-Walem’s basket ball team, which you no doubt re member ended up in the cellar at the tourney, received its greatest consolation this week by being named the “best and biggest drib bles in the state.” They were ab solutely overjoyed at the honor, and are now blocking their own hats . . . Ken Yarborough has de cided to give up sports altogether next year. “Shoot,” says Kenny, “it takes up too much time. Espe cially away from my school work and studies. Me and Bobby Joe’ll probably quit this football fool ishness, because, in the words of Plato, ‘Study means everything.’ ” sch^lIbuys plane (Continued From Page 1) plane to ground if all else fails. 6. For added safety, pigeon with stout cord around leg holds plane aloft. 7. Outside pilot seat—he doesn’t dare crash! 8. Comfy passenger seats de- .signed for easy jumping. 9. Extending landing gear gives 20-foot clearance be tween plane and ground. Gives sensation o f flying without ever leaving the ground! The Motto Of Our Company: “Our Planes Are Scattered All Over The World” This correspondent suggests you (students) crucify your coun cil. E C K E R D’ S “Creators of Reasonable Drug Prices” ALEXANDER’S, INC. FURNITURE AND HOME FURNISHINGS 211 N. Main St. Phone 2378 ROSE FURNITURE CO. Where Quality and Price Meet Owned and Operated By Kester Brothers 243 South Main St. Track Stars Are Plagued By Athlete’s Foot; But Entire Squad Is Itching To Get Started Above is stark, realistic evidence of the plague beseeching Mr. Scratchbert Itchy's local high school track perspirants, who have been greatly^ hindered this spring by that malady of athletes. Ath lete’s Foot. Pained possessors of the feet above are tracksters Don Brown, Pete Jones, Fungi-Sol McGuinn, Max Ward, Bill Seckler, Feet Miller, Ray Haworth, and Co-Capts. Clyde Garrison and Char lie Jones. “Hottoe” Mickey was absent when this portrait was made. (This newspaper hated to print such an atrocity, but you just better be glad pictures don’t convey the you-know-what). —Photo by Boils. Simeon Signs To Coach At Notre Dame; Leahy Fired Hugh Morson Sends Monogram A package postmarked “Hugh Morson High, Raleigh, N. C.,” was received here this morning through registered mail by one Jerry Paschal, a fast - moving guard on the recent varsity bas ketball team. (It will be remem bered that the Bison successfully engaged the Hugh Morson five in the first day’s play at the North Carolina High ‘School Basketball Tournament held a t Durham a while back.) Enclosed in the package, which was beautifully done up in pastels, was a handsome Hugh Morson monogram and a note from the Raleigh coach which read as fol lows: Dear Jerry, The other night at the annual basketball banquet, as awards and letters were being pre sented, the cry rang out, “Where’s Paschal?” Well, sir, we looked everywhere. Sorry you couldn’t make it to the ban quet, fella; but we wanted you to have your monogram. It seems the boys and I just can’t forget your beautiful shot at our basket that day, and. . . oh, well. . . We’ll try to get your “Most Valuable Player” trophy to you sometime this week. Sincerely, Hugh Morson “Now,” Jerry says, “the only trouble is that “Stilts” hasn’t done anything but pout and fret ever since I got mine. Poor fella. He wants one so-o-o bad.” BEESON HARDWARE COMPANY Sporting Goods Headquarters 214 North Main St. W. E. UNTHICUM & SON Certified Ready Mixed Concrete Grading Contractors PHONE 3243-5922 A bulletin issued today from athletic authorities of the Univer sity of Notre Dame coincided with a statement released horo-drom the office of School Superintendent C. F. (Codl Face) Carroll to the effect that the resignation of Coach Ajax Snider (Tony) Simeon has become effective so that Simeon may assume immediate duties as foot headball coach at the Univer sity. The former Notre Dame coach, some obscure fellow called Frank lin Leahy, stepped down from his post several days ago to make room for Simeon. In the words of the athletic spokesman, “Leahy put up a fuss, but was overriden. There was no alternative Avhen we knew a fellow like Simeon was available.” “I really do hate to leave y’all,’’ were Simeon’s first words to re porters. “I sure have had a good time.” When asked about the No tre Dame gridiron prospects next year, Simeon greatly shocked and surprised everyone with the state ment, “We don’t expect to lose.” Speculation still runs high as to the meaning of this remark. Said Deisel P. Whitley: “He’s been a hard man to displace, but I think we’ll find a capable succes sor.’’ Although it’s early yet for predictions as to who will fill Sim eon’s size seven and one-half shoes, among rumored successors, some Jamieson fellow from Greensboro has been suspec—er—suggested. Now we don’t know but . . . HOME BAKERY 812 Lindsay St. Cokes—Banana Splits Ice Cream—Milk Shakes Sundaes—Donuts GIRLS! Enroll in our Sewing Class To day. Make Your Easter Outfit in just Eight Easy Lessons. SINGER SEWING CENTER 203 N. Main Street Telephone 3734 Concern Expressed By Coach Itchy Over His Charges Dire concern has been prevalent in the athletic quarters around High Point High of late in view of the fact that the track charges of Coach Scratchbert I. Itchy have been attacked by a serious round of Athlete’s Foot. The epidemic got its start one day several weeks ago when Co- Captain Charlie Jones carelessly slipped his shoe off in class while sitting next to “Dodo” Allred. Since, the malady has spread like wildfire throughout the track camp; and, as a result. Head Coach Tony Simeon has threatened to expel Jones from school. “It’s all his fault,” says Simeon. “He shoulda known better’n to sit next to Allred.” Great precautions are underway at the present time to curb the epidemic. The chemistry classes even conducted experiments last week to find a sure cure for pre venting the spread of the fungus. They found one. The hands of those afflicted boys were tied securely behind their backs for three days to make scratching impossible; and an edict requiring that shoes be worn to school was passed yesterday during a special session of the student council. “Bert,” says Coach Itchy, “we’re not quite as bad off as the Ant- ville High track coach, who, on the day of the big Antathon to be held at the beautiful Layme Downs on a whole block of side walk, discovered that the ants of his team were all victims of a sudden attack of shortwindedness. Well, sir, it was a sad day in Ant- ville. The team, the “Jeepers Creepers” lost. Lost—and all be cause the coach couldn’t get the pants out of his ants.” ORANGE GROWERS PICK (Continued from Page 1) this noted honor. Brown said, “I like Sunkist, but a girl’s kist is better.” Valuable prizes, the total sum of which totaled 81.98 were awarded "to Brown. Among those most prized, were a package of Hold Fast Bobbypins, a jar of Pond’s beauty cream, and a Honi Tome Permanent refill kit. COLTRANE & GRAHAM CONTRACTORS 245 S. Hamilton Phone 2695 VOGUE CLEANERS 24-Hour Service 753 N. Main—Phone 5613 GREENE DRUG COMPANY 610 N. Main Phone 5618 Have Your Suit Tailored By Your Measurements •HACKELFORD’ HIGH POINT, N.C.J Hiorli Pnmf StPATn I siii ^ LAUNDERERS 228 N. Wrenn St Illgll UIIIL kJLCCtlli luClUJ Incorporated LIUI y CLEANERS Phone 3325
High Point High School Student Newspaper
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April 1, 1949, edition 1
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