Page Eight
THE UNIVERSITY STUDENT
April, 1928
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Theodore L. Plair, ’28.
Soph: “Have you ever seen a 14 karat
key ? ”
Frosh,: “No; but I’ve eaten lots of 10
carrot bowls of soup.”
“I’ve been framed,” protested the doomed
man.
And he made a sorry picture as he was
hung.
“I wouldn’t drink out of that cup if I were
you,” said the little boy at the pump.
“That is Bessie’s cup and she has just been
drinking out of it.”
“Oh,” said the gay young man from the
city, as he drained the cup. “I don’t mind.
I feel honored to drink out of Bessie’s
cup. Who is Bessie? Your sister?”
“No; my dog.”
—E. Endeavorer.
There Must Be Insight.
After carefully viewing the lungs of our
pet dog, “Obie,” with a very powerful mi
croscope, Drewey Scales, our leading biol
ogist, exclaimed: “I’ve seen the seat of his
pants.”
The student gets the paper.
The school gets the fame; j
The printer gets the money, i
The staff gets the blame.
—Exchange.
They were climbing a lofty peak of the
Alps, and she was standing a few feet
above him. . She turned around and gazed
in wonderment “What,” he asked, “do you
see ?”
“Far, far below,” she cried, “I see a
long, white sheet, stretching like a paper
ribbon almost back to our hotel.”
“Ha, ha!” he ejaculated. “It’s that hotel
bill overtaking us.”
—Clipped.
1
Same Old Story.
Chemistry and Math make up exams
were hell in the Administration Building.
Flapper (to drug store clerk):
“I want a green lipstick, please.”
D. S. C.: “What do you want a green lip
stick for?”
Flapper: “Don’t be stupid, I’ve got a date
tonight with a traffic cop!”
—The -4,gnoistie.
“Bring me another sandwich, please.”
“Will there be anything else?”
“Y’es; a paper weight. That last sandwich
blew away.”
“Some vegetables surely are large.”
“How so?”
“I’ve seen three or four policemen asleep
on a single beet.”
Trig. Prof.: “Fools ask questions no wise
men can answer.”
Freshmen; “Sure, that’s why we all
flunk.”
Kupid: “I want a couple of i3illow cases.”
Clerk: “What size?”
Kupid: “I don’t know, but I wear a size
7 hat.”
A New Cure.
“Dear doctor:—My pet billy goat is se
riously ill from eating a complete leather-
bound set of Shakespeare. What do you
prescribe?”
Answer: “Am sending Literai-y Digest by
return mail.”
“Papa, what do you call a man who
drives a car?”
“It depends on how close he comes
me.”
“ONE ON YOU.”
Did you ever
Go to a party
Not feeling especially well.
But when you got there
Everyone greeted you
With a smile
And you felt better.
And made cracks.
And everybody laughed.
So you pulled your good ones
Together with some
Not so good.
And they laughed heartily
Till you found yourself
To be the life of the party;
And your cranium
Expanded
And continued expanding
Till you reached home
You had not
Tucked in all your shirt?
I thank you.
—Lehigh Burr.
THE ALEXANDER DUMAS
READING CIRCLE
J. T. Wilson, ’29.
The Reading Circle met on the usual
meeting night.
The installation ceremony was conducted
by Mr. ML W. Jones. In his address Mr.
Jones made mention of the three great
principles upon which the organization
was founded; namely, scholarship, char
acter and actual reading. Those of us
whom the founders have honored to place
on roll, pledge loyalty to the organization
and shall endeavor to live up to those great
principles.
After the business part of the meeting
was over a brief acount of the life of Al
exander Dumas was given by Mr. Scales
and others.
A discussion of the works of Alexander
Dumas was led by Mr. H. L. Marshall. His
best writings seem to be found in the two
books, “The Count of Monte Christo” and
“The Three Musketeers.”
Brief Resume.
Alexander Dumas was born in 1802 and
died in 1870. He married an actress, Ida
Ferrier, in 1842, and was father of two
children by her. His married life was very
unhappy because of his wife. He was not
an original writer, but took up and com
pleted the work of Eugene Sue, his pre
decessor. He justified himself in this act
in the following statements:
“All human phenomena are public prop
erty.”
“The man of genius does not steal, he
simply conquers.”
“Every one arrives in his turn and at his
hour, seizes what his ancestors have left,
and puts it in new shapes and combina
tions.”
With such an efficient corps of officers
the club is looking forward to one of the
most successful years that they have ever
known.
Our motto is: “We weigh our men; not
count them.”
Compliments of
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