Page Ten
THE UNIVERSITY STUDENT
January, 1929
C,L.AlWPHr 'JT .
By Teddy Wilson
Let’s Begin With Poetry
Mary had a little lamb,
You’ve heard it oft before—
And then she passed her plate again
And had a little more.— (Selected.)
Crossed Wires
Fond mother: He’s getting along so
well in school; he learn French and alge
bra. “Now, son, say “How do you do to
the lady in algebra.’’—(Exchange.)
An Exception
Physics Prof: When two bodies come
together, is heat generated?
Freshie: No sir; because I hit a guy yes
terday and he knocked me cold.
Lum: “Aren’t the acoustics fine?”
Chink: You bet. I’ll have to congratulate
them before I leave.
Ski-U-mah.
Wearing Apparel
She: What will the channel swimmer do
for clothes?
He: Oh! she carries her trunks.
Nothing Fresh
Customer: Are these fresh fish?
Butcher: No ma’am; these won’t embar
rass you at the table.— (University of
Washington.)
Same, Only Different.
Old Maid’s motto: Never let a fool kiss
you.
Flapper’s motto: Never let a kiss fool
you.
Gaining Strength
Seminarian: I think I’ll wait till Christ
mas and hang up my stockings.
Co-ed: By that time you won’t need to.
they will..stand alone
He: The worse thing "I ever saw was a
man-eating tiger.
She: I am not surprised at that, because
‘some men will oat anything.
Extremes
Bully: I hear you have a cute little girl.
Is she faithful ?
No; my girl is too good to be true.
She Wasn’t So Hot
Livingstonian: If I ever hear of you
taking my girl to a cabaret again I’ll kill
you..
Smithsonian: If I ever do I’ll deserve it.
Prof: I told you yesterday I’d give you
one day to hand in that theme.
Freshie: Yes, but I thought I could pick
any day.—(State Lion).
Directions.
■ Tramp: Doc! How can I get rid of these
cooties ?
Coming Through the Rye
Can a body kiss a body when he’s full of
rye?
That depends upon the girlie—he can only
try.
Be truthful —tell ’em it’s liot new—But
McCORKLE CLEANED IT
McCORKLE’S
CLEANERS
DYERS
Cash and Carry Stores all over town
For Delivery Service call Hemlock 2600.
A BOOK OF POEMS
Come, boys and girls who are in school.
Don’t waste your leisure like a fool;
Here is a chance to spend your time,
Making money while in your prime.
Just sell the neighbor at your gate
A book of poems of ’28.
Those who wish to take up the agency
for this book will please send a postal card
to C. M. Thorpe, 901 Grant Avenue, New
York, N. Y.
M. J. COLEMAN’S
TEA ROOM
Welcomes you and offers you
good home cooking and cour
teous service.
Holloway Building
Pettigrew Street,
Durham, N. C.
SALESMEN for “The University Student”
W. S. Brinkley, Room 4, Berry Hall,
J. A. Jones, Room 17, Smith Hall,
H. W. Givens, Room 25, Carter Hall,
Johnson C, Smith University.
Copies of “The University Student” are on sale
at
Doc: Take a bath in sand and rub down
in alcohol. The cooties get drunk and kill
each other throwing stones.
Brooklyn Drug Company
424 E. Second Street, Charlotte, N. C.
She: What was the name of the selection
he just played ?
He: That was “Silk Stockings.”
She: “I thought so because it had so
many runs in it.—Blue Ox.
Bob.: How did Ruth dress for the
prom ?
Ted: Continuously.
MERITA
BREAD AND CAKES
Made by
AMERICAN BAKERIES CO.
A Sure Sign
Her: You don’t love me any more!
Him: Why do you say that, Buntie ?
Her: W’ell, when you change gears now
your hand never slips off the lever onto
my knee!
COMPLIMENTS OF
WASHBURN PRINTING COMPANY
18 W. 4th Street,
Charlotte, North Carolina
COMPLIMENTS
EZELL’S INC.
_We solicit your patronage for Artist Supplies.
-Complefte lines of Paints, Oils, Varnishes,
Brushes, Glass, Etc.
EZELL’S INC.
515 E. Trade St. Phone: Hem. 5471.
THOMAS HOWARD CO. .
WHOLESALE GROCERS
South College Street,
Charlotte, N. C.
■"— i
WITHERS PAINT COMPANY
College at Fourth
TOCH BROTHERS Waterproofing Compounds
STANDARD VARNISH CO. Koverfloor
Paints and Varnishes
CHARLES MOODY COMPANY
WHOLESALE GROCERIES AND GRAIN
FEED STUFFS OF ALL KINDS
209 to 211 South College Street
Charlotte, N. C.
Telephones 141 and 142