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The Hilltop of Mars Hill College
Thursday, September 24,_^j.g^jgy
Editorial: Murphy’s Miracles A Parking Fable for Peasants pu
by Julia Brittain
editorialist
Murphy was right when it came to
computers.
As a mathematics major, I’ve had
my fair share of computer program
ming classes and I’ve hated every last
ming I
one of them.
I’ve spent many, too many, long
hours staring blankly at a monitor try
ing to debug a program that was orig
inally intended to just balance my
checkbook, but had somehow ended
up controlling the weather in the com
puter lab.
I made it snow in the Wall lab a
couple of times last semester.
I’ve learned a lot from computers
though- a precious hard earned
knowledge, rich in wisdom and in
sight.
I’ve learned that there are forces
beyond us that totally control our
lives.
I’ve learned that, yes, computers
do have their own lives to live and we
really shouldn’t bother them the way
we dfo. They just don’t have the time
for it.
I’ve learned that Murphy was the
greatest thinker of the modern age- he
knew just what to make of computers,
and everything else too.
You know, we all could learn a lot
from Murphy. I firmly believe that as
requirement for graduation. Mars
Hill should offer Murphy 101 (a rigor
ous axiomatic development of
Murphy’s laws) instead of GE 111.
This requirement would ensure
that Mars Hill graduates were well
prepared for life, the universe and ev
erything.
I mean, what could be worse than
10 minutes before a program is due
than watching a perfectly good printer
lock with over half of my documenta
tion still in it- neatly tucked away in
the abyss of a computer’s memory.
If I had known Murphy then, and
knew him well, then not only would I
have accepted this occurrence as an
unavoidable fact of life, but would
have expected it and prepared for it.
Life with Murphy is a lot less
stressful.
You see, Murphy knew the true
secrets of life.
Murphy knew that the best way to
study and application, or anything
else for that matter, is to know it thor
oughly before you begin.
Murphy knew that the solution to
any problem changes the problem.
Murphy knew not to believe in
miracles, but to rely on them.
As a student of Murphy, I’ve expe
rienced and proven several of his axi
oms, have changed my life accordingly
and feel now, much better about a lot
of stuff.
I no longer allow myself to be
tested in any class at any time during
the semester in which it is offered. I
wait until the following one at least,
longer if necessary.
I think of solutions before I expe
rience problems, then change the
E roblem to fit my solution. If it can’t
e changed then it doesn’t exist.
And I experience miracles in my
life daily.
Every time I go through the Drive
Thru and come out with my order cor
rect, I know that I am in the presence
of a miracle.
Every time I wake up in the morn
ing I know I am in the presence of a
miracle.
Every time my pencil has lead in it,
the tank has hot water in it, my keys
are in the ignition and my homework
is in my bookbag, I know that I expe
rience miracles.
I do rely on them.
I carry them with me everywhere.
Maybe Murphy realized minor
miracles are just as important as huge
miracles that change the space and
time relationship.
Maybe we should too.
I don’t know. I would still like to
pack the Wall computer lab with dy
namite and blow those computers sky
high, but I don’t think I will.
As soon as I started to light the
fuse, it would begin to rain just as the
police showed up.
Spider^^Webb
by Amy Webb
assistant editor
Most of the time when we think of a soldier, we get an image
of a young man in a uniform. He’s brave and strong; the "All-
American." Traditionally speaking, there is nothing wrong with
this image. However in today’s world the "All-American^ isn’t
just "him;" it’s "her" too. As of the 1990’s women make up 10.8
E ercent of all armed forces. However, women are still prohibited j
y law from serving in combat positions. Today many women
have chosen to make the armed forces their career. Almost 25
percent of all medical and dental specialist are women. Also, in
the fall of 1976 women were allowed admission in service acade
mies, and the numbers rise every year. So, as young women in the
1990’s are not limited to certain traditional roles. This is one
door that is not closed to women anymore.
The OPINIONS
The Opinions page is intended to be a forum for any member of the campus or
associated with the campus of Mars Hilt College to express his opinion. The ideas or
opinions presented oh this page are hot necessarily those of the staff or of Mars Hill
College.
Your opinions are important to us. Any person who wishes to send a letter to the
editor should mail them to The Hilltop, P(j Box 6148, Mars Hill College, Mars Hill, NC
28754, or drop in off by the Hilltop Office in the Publications Area of Wren College
Union. Also, you can call the Hilltop office at anytime and leave an opinion or idea on
the answering machine. The machine will take up to a 4 minute call, so be brief and
to the point.
Dear Editor,
Within the folds of a lackluster val
ley in the mountains of Western North
Carolina, lay an anachronism: a land
that the runaway truck of time had
flattened into a pustulant roadkill.
Life was simple in this medieval hold
over: The lords sipped coffee from
mugs made of vegetarian lasagna, and
the vassals rose daily at 5:00 to vie for
the inadequate animal parking on the
campus of the Marshill University.
One morning, a certain peasant
mounted his trusty but ailingpony and
trotted through the university on an
errand. As he passed each parking lot,
he regarded the sign that indicated
which animals could be sequestered
there: Designated areas for oxen,
sheep, pigs, chickens, and goats he
saw, but no allowance for male horses,
could he detect (Plenty of spaee for
mares was available because the uni
versity practiced a rather pedantic
chivalryJ. Finally, he located a vacant
lot beside the temple of Bronco, god
of safety and security.
When the peasant returned to find
a sword imbedded in his steed with a
tax notice flapping from the hilt, he
was incredulous. Then, he noticed the
unobtrusive sign nailed to a tree:
"Parking for Asses Only."
Anthony Aycock
Taking Time Out
The First Commandment
by Crystal Grzella
staff writer
Jesus said unto him. Thou shalt
love the Lord thy God with all thy
heart, and with all thy soul, and witn
all thy mind. This is the first and great
commandment. (Matthew 22:37-38.
KJV)
In an arrangement by Dwight
Gustafson, Philip Doddridge write
these words:
Do not I love thee. Oh my Lord.
Behold my heart and see,
and turn each curses idol out,
that dares to rival thee.
Do not I love Thee from my soul,
then let me ever love,
dead be my heart to every joy.
When Jesus cannot move,
I love Thee, but oh,
I long to soar far from the sphere
of mortal joys,
and learn to love Thee,
learn to love Thee more.
These words humble my heart. Is
Jesus in your life? When He looks into
your heart what does He see? If Jesus
IS not in your heart invite Him in and
He will teach you how to experience a
peace which soars far from mortal
joys.
"REGISTER AND VOTE"
by Dwayne
Kennedy
political
commentary
There is one question
I would like to address to
the entire student body.
Are you registered to
vote? Everyone I have
asked so far has an
swered this question af
firmatively. However, if
you are not yet regis
tered to vote the deadl
ine for registration for
the Nov. 3rd election is
Oct. 5, 1992.
It is essential that as a
college community that
the student body achieve
100% participation in
the election process.
We should strive to set a
shining example of re
sponsible citizenship.
The decisions our
elected leaders make in
the next few years will di
rectly affect the types of
jobs, housing, and stan
dard of living to which
we can aspire. I cannot
emphasize enough the
importance of active
E ' :ipation in the po-
proeess. The two
presidential candidates
that we can select from
were chosen by only
20% of the eligible voter
population. We alleg
edly live in a democratic
society. However, de
mocracy is not a specta
tor sport and your vote
does make a difference.
Voting is a privilege that
we should exercise dili
gently.
As a student of Mars
Hill College you have a
right to vote in North
Carolina. The require
ments are as follows:
1. - Be a U.S. citizen
(native born or natural
ized)
2. - Be at least 18 on
or before Nov. 3,1992
3. - Have resided in
N.C. and your voting
precinct 30 days
prior to the next general
election.
Almost every student
meets these 3 basic re
quirements and thereby
is eligible to vote in
North Carolina. The
most convenient place to
register in Mars Hill is
Town Hall (Main St.).
The town hall is open
Mon. - Fri. 8am to 5pm.
In addition on Sept. 28th
there will be a voter reg
istration drive on cam
pus:
WOMEN’S HILL
Stroup Dorm Lobby
7pm to 9pm
Becky Carlton will be
there to assist students
with the process of voter
registration. We all have
a vested interest in the
Mars Hill community
since we spend more
time here during our col
lege years than at out
permanent home ad
dress. However, if youf
interest lies in your own
community then you
need to insure you are
registered and obtain ao
absentee ballot. You
will have to contact youf
local Board of Elections
or have your parents as
sist you.
We can have a voice
in local, state, and na
tional government by
electing leaders that will
represent our needs and
interests. It is up to "we
the people" to elect re
sponsible leaders at all
levels of government.
Politicians respond to
people that elect them
mto office. College age
people have the lowest
percentage of participa
tion of any age group io
the United States and
that helps explain the
cutback of funding in ed
ucational programs.
Send a message to the
politicians in your local
area, state, and nation:
REGISTER & VOTE.
I would like to extend
my appreciation to The
League of Women Vot
ers for their time, efforts,
and knowledge concern
ing Voter Registration.
THANK YOU!!
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