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EDITOR’S NOTEBOOK: “I Would Never Have Come Here’
By Laura Woodworth
A few weeks ago, Cathy and
I sent a questionnaire to each
senior to get information to
help us with this last issue of
the paper. Question number
seven was: “If you could do it
all over again, what (if
anything) would you do
differently?" My answer was: "I
would never have come here."
That answer might surprise
you. You see me doing
coursework, running errands,
socializing, etc. I guess I
look like i love it here. But I
don't. I truly wish I had never
come.
All right, then, you say.
Why'd you even apply in the
first place? And why did they
let you jin if you were so down
on this school? Why did you
accept their offer of admission?
Why on earth did you stay here
two years if you disliked it
that much? And finally, what
reasons do you have for
believing these two years would
have been any better elsewhere?
I can answer all these
questions, and I shall. First,
however, let me tell you that I
am beincr candid and truthful
about all of this. This final
editorial is not a loke, and it
is not the product of separation
anxiety. I'm telling you how I
have been feeling for a long
time.
When I applied, two and a
half years ago, I really had no
idea I'd ever come. I was
encouraged by Mr. Anderson, my
wonderful tenth grade bio
teacher. And, of course, the
prestige of possibly getting
chosen attracted me. My best
friend Suzy was applying — that
was a big factor, for since
sixth grade, Suzy and I had done
everything together.
My attitude towards science
and math as subjects was as
lukewarm then as it. is now, but
I told the admissions committee
what they wanted to hear on the
application. So they invited me
for an interview. Lucky me! X
had an English teacher, and we
talked about books most of the
time. (Perhaps if I had had a
science or math teacher, I would
never had made it.)
They admitted me, and I
accepted. In the words of a
girl I know who got in and did
not come, "I didn't have any
reason not to come here, but I
didn't have any reason to come,
either." Unlike her, I did come.
People tend to do the possible,
even if they' re^ not sure it's
the best idea. T was sid're about
having been rejected by
Governor's School, and I figured
this place would be lust as
good. So I came.
It took me a long time to
figure out that this was not
really the place for me, and by
then it was too late. The July
after my junior year I began to
realize that I didn't belong at
S and M. But I had made close
friendships which I didn't want
to sever, and the thought of the
shame I'd have to endure if I
went back to Fayetteville a
"dropout" was too much. So 1
resolved to stick it out.
But my senior year, as one
of the comments in my last
progress report so accurately
stated, has been "one long
struggle." I know now that 1
would have had a much better
time of it at home.
I don't deny that there
have been good things. Coming
here enabled me to get a summer
job at Duke's TIP program, which
I love. My Mentorship this year
has been a real joy. And, of
course, there are the
friends...you ail know how
important the friendships are. ,
But I would have given all
of that up not to have had to
endure the constant battle of
the past two years. I hope that
others won't have to feel the
way I did. My brother Steve
won't be coming here. I've
advised some friends' siblings
not to come. This place is not
for everyone. It is for some,
but not for most.
I really regret having come
here. But 1 won't have to live
with Uiat regret much longer.
This place has been
uncomfortable, but it hasn't
done me irreperable damage. I
look forward to graduation and
the chance to rest up this
summer. From this school. I'll
try to extract the best and
leave the worst behind.
EDITORIAL: On Two Years Well Spent
By Terry Blankfard
When I . think of all the
college essays that ask students
to teil why they chose to come
here and what they got out of
this "special" school, I wonder
if they will come to the same
conclusion I did? My
conclusion: I would not trade
what I have found here during
the past two years for any other
educational experience.
I know that some students
do not believe the P.R. the
administration sends out about
the school, but I guess I've
been lucky because the P.R. I
heard was for the most part
exactly what I experienced. I
have enjoyed having teachers who
really wanted to help me. I
have enjoyed meeting people from
all parts of the state, each
with a different view of the
world. I have enjoyed getting
involved in things that
interested me. All this was and
is NCSSM.
No where else could a
person from a small Eastern
North Carolina high school have
the same educational
environment. It is that
environment which has made the
school so special for me. Not
just because of the teachers and
fantastic equipment, the special
part is the atmosphere that we
are all here to expand our world
beyond the thoughts and
experiences of our former
opportunities. At NCSSM, we are
challenged by how much we dare
to ^p,,n,ot), just.^py ttoiw.mubh the
school offers. " ' ' ‘
Of course, there is so much
that the school does offer.
NCSSM has more clubs that are
actually active (they DO
something) than do most high
schools I know of in the state.
It is also interesting, and
Inspirational, that I would come
to a school of science and
mathematics and become
interested in physical activity.
The sports program here tries to
offer something for everyone who
wants to play. In some other
schools, the "non-jocks" dare
not try out for an athletic
team.
There are problems here,
and one of them is "time". In
fact, I think the major problem
is simply a lack of time to do
all the things that one wants to
do. I tell people whom I talk
to about the school that you can
work on basically anything you
want to do as long as you can
find the time to do it.
NCSSM gave me the chance to
do so many things I could not
have done anywhere else, and I
guess that is the main reason
why I'm glad I came here and why
I have no regrets about my
choice to come here. I believe
that any student who puts
something into NCSSM will get
something wonderful in return.
I have received an
education in which I have
learned much more than facts
about science and mathematics,
as important and enlightening as
they have been. I have learned
about my world and aliout myself.
I would not trade these., t,two
years for anything.