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may 00 imons page 3 He Needs Your Vote Jennifer Newport I sat down to write my column and dozens of ideas were flowing through my head. I could share with you the story of how I disproved the Heisenburg Uncertainty Principle. I could tell you about my life when I was Marvin the Martian would, of course, bring about a new wave of weaponry. Have you seen his little gun? It can turn anything into a pile of dust (provided it’s aimed correctly). And that is his everyday weapon. Imag ine the possibilities. Plus, Americans would never have to go into battle. Re member the “100,000 Aliens: Just Add Water?” And we can’t for get good old Scooby. He would enlist Shaggy’s help in scaring away the bad guys. Plus, he’d make sure all Americans had an endless supply of Scooby Snacks, which would cause for more happiness, and thus, less crime. Granted, there would be some hallucina tory side effects (what do you think was in those Marvin the Martian Jesus. I could whine about how I didn’t get into NYU. I could even attempt to teach you more hygiene habits (because, frankly, you guys still need some help). But I have decided instead to share with you a dream of mine: Marvin the Martian be elected president. And, of course, Scooby-Doo would be his running mate. First off, his height alone shows what a good leader he could be, if given the chance. How many of you remember Napoleon? A tad short, but otherwise a great guy. Think of what he did, and then consider all the countries that we could conquer if we’d just elect someone short, like Marvin the Martian. This leads right in to army capabilities. biscuits?), but these are the things we would have to deal with. Besides all of this, our health would increase greatly. Think back to all of your encounters with Marvin the Martian. Or Scooby-Doo. Can you re member one instance of anyone dying? Or of any one being injured for longer than 15 seconds? Or even of them having the flu? Even Daffy Duck's still around, and think of how many times he should have died. Marvin’s a regular old messiah, just right for our country. So when it comes down to making your de cision, don't pick Bush. Don’t pick Gore. Pickup that pencil and write in Marvin the Martian. The future of our country is up to you. Use that power well. Napster continued FROM PAGE 1 an Internet detective firm, to find users that were trading Metallica’s music. Over the course of one weekend, the company built a list of over 335,435 Napster users. The band has turned the list over to the company and asked that these users be banned from the service. The band said that it will not include those names in its lawsuit against Napster. There is a wide range of opinion in the music community. Dr. Dre is among the musicians against the use of Napster. Dre, who is also represented by Howard King, is considering the use of an online tracking agent to stem the trade. But there are other bands that take a more re laxed notion of the entire issue. Chief among the Napster advo cates is Limp Bizkit. The band has adopted a Grateful Dead like approach to their music where users are free to “demo” it without the fear of infringing on the band’s copyright. Fred Durst, the band’s singer, ex plained his opinion of the re cording labels that are suing Napster: “I would think the only people worried about that are people that are really worried about their bank accounts.” Limp Bizkit is undertaking a free tour this summer to pro mote both the cause of Napster and their new CD, “Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Fla vored Water.” Napster report edly paid the group $ 1.8 million for the tour which starts in July. The coming weeks should reveal the fate of digital music as the rulings in the RIAA and Metallica cases are issued. Meanwhile, the use of Napster remains rampant, but a definite shock has been felt by the con certed efforts of the recording labels to stop Napster. Quote Board Katie Watlington What was the most useful thing you did or learned this year? * “Just because you came from a bad school in a bad town with bad teachers, bad students and bad administration • ^ does not mean you are an idiot.” -Andy Schlesing * “Feeble attempts at the physics of shopping carts at 1 AM does require a study pass for the East stairwell of Hunt.” - Peter Robichaux a 1!^ Peter Robich * “Check your food carefully and be able to identify all in gredients before consuming (thanks PFM).” - Julia Tyson * “The way to the dentist’s office.” -Thomas Covington * “Wherever you go, there will always be people you like . and people you don’t like.” - Jim Furgurson * “About 2 AM Justin Tye goes to sleep.” - Russ Stackhouse * “Shower #4 in Second Beall.” -Rosie Stoertz t * “In 1996 there were more people dead than alive.” -Evan Scott * “SLI’s can be manipulated.” - Chris Burke * “Don’t put your hand near Behrooz’s mouth.” - Stephen Rich * “You can’t always do it like you used to.” - Taymour Hammoudi (U stentortan north Carolina school of science and mathematics 1219 broad street durham, nc 27705 Editors-in-Chief: Will Gameau and Katie Watlington Adviser: John Woodmansee Departments: News Editor: Shaina Schmetzle Writers: Teresa Anasti, Kenny Gibbs, Mary Guy, April Pridgen Shaina Schmeltzle Features Editor: April Pridgen Writers: Meredith Flowe, Will Gameau, Erica Healey Sports Editor: Jon-Michael Dougherty Writers: Amit Aravapalli, Jon-Michael Dougherty, Emily Warren, Katie Watlingon. Opinions Editor: Emily Warren Writers: Heather Fried, Laura Pipe, Jonathan Raxter, Marc O. Vinson. Layout Editor: Amit Aravapalli Staff: Amber Ambrose, Jaclyn Besas, Emma Blose, Michael Chan, Stephanie Hartung, Hannah Kim, Jessica Luong, Jonelle Stovall. Photograhy Editors: Ashley Rankin Staff: Johnathan Basirico, Andy Greenburg, Nicole Martin, Christopher Paul, Jamie Pike, Ashley Rankin, Jamarl Rodgers, Nidhi Thapar, Vinh Tran Columnist: Jennifer E. Newport http://iluvatar.ncssm.edu/stcntorian
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