Newspapers / North Carolina School of … / April 1, 2014, edition 1 / Page 2
Part of North Carolina School of Science and Mathematics Student Newspaper / About this page
This page has errors
The date, title, or page description is wrong
This page has harmful content
This page contains sensitive or offensive material
april 1, 2014 features the stentorian I ncssm Bizzare Prom-posals an NCSSM staple By Caroline Liu With prom season coming to end last weekend, it is hard not to reminisce about the good times. And the bad. Flipping through the archives, I have complied a list of the most unusual and awful promposals of SMath history. Michael, Class of 1994, was a huge fan of Rubik’s Cubes, so what was a better way to ask his date to prom than through his favorite toy? Writing one word on each side of the cube, his date was to unscramble the cube to spell out “JEN, PROM?”. This simple phrase with a total of 9 characters, however, turned out to be more sophisticated than he had thought. Unfortunately Jen had little experience with' complicated toys, and therefore Michael ended up with “PORN, JEM?” and no date. Connor, Class of 2004, did the classic pizza line: “I know this is cheesy but, PROM?” on the pizza box. However, Connor was quite surprised when Sarah, who turned out to be lactose-intolerant, gave the box back... Sline, Class of 2008, thought it would be clever to incorporate his 2nd amendment love along with a plastic rifle into his prom ask. “I’m hunting for someone to Connor’s failed pizza box ask. go to the prom with me.” He actually successfully got a date! (Along with a Level II). Antonia, Class of 2007, was very shocked when she received an email from her favorite musical artist, Lil’ Wayne, asking her to prom. Turns out her original date, Greg, had asked Mr. Wayne, to make a video asking Antonia to prom for him, hoping to fi nally become something*morc* than friends. The miscommunication, however, resulted in an ec- DiCaprio finally wins his Oscar award By Richard Ong At the 86th annual Academy Awards, Leonardo DiCaprio won the Oscar for “Best Actor in a Leading Role”. After a 25 year career and four Oscar nominations, DiCaprio finally won his much deserved award for his role in The Wolf of Wall Street. His acceptance speech was a humble one. He grabbed the Oscar from the presenter, said “It’s about !@#$%#% time,” punched Matthew McConaughey in the face, and ran off stage. DiCaprio is obviously enjoying his coveted award as he has not been seen since. DiCaprio was always destined for an Oscar ever since he first appeared in Titanic, The Departed, Gangs of New York, and The Great Gatsby, for all of which he received no nomination. It is clear his recent win has corrected a long standing injustice in the movie industry. “I am glad the Academy decided to get off their high horse and present me with the golden statuette,” said DiCaprio. “I hope to continue to win retroactive Oscars to correct the grievous mistakes the Academy made in the past.” The film for which DiCaprio won the award is a controversial one. The Wolf of Wall Street creates and then walks the thin line between high art and pornography. In it, Leonardo DiCaprio demonstrates the faults of improper drug use techniques, the consequences of bacchanalia, and the problems with reckless securities fraud. It is an instructional film for all ages. Director of the film and friend of DiCaprio, Martin Scorsese said, “He really deserves the award for being the best actor to never deliver a great performance. He wastes his talent on terrible roles and it’s time the Academy recognized that.” DiCaprio became famous for his role as dead weight I in the movie Titanic, but ^ later, moved on to playing M a twisted tycoon in The g, Aviator, a twisted tycoon "§ in Django Uchained, a I twisted tycoon in The = Great Gatsby, and a twisted ■g tycoon in The Wolf of Wall £ Street. Perhaps he would o have won an Oscar soon if g he appeared in a sequel. ^ DiCaprio, with his Oscar 3 win, has made himself the defining artist of our generation. It is unknown ■ whether or not he has any new movies in production, but he may decide to retire now that he has achieved the highest honor an actor can receive. “It’s really an honor to lose to him,” said Matthew McConaughey, DiCaprio’s main competitor for the Oscar. “I’m glad I lost to him so that he could finally win an award he so thoroughly deserved.” Audiences around the world can yearn for more breathtaking performances from the man now named Academy Award Winner Leonardo DiCaprio. My Smath Addictions static An tonia and a very much friend- zoned ’ Greg. Not every- one needs prom date, I though. Jamie, : Class of 2011, ; decided she i didn’t need a man to look good on the I night of prom. Instead, she [ brought along I her favorite I room-decora tion, a Justin iTimberlake cardboard cut out. “He was the sweetest guy, always smiling at me and never interrupting my conversations. I can safely say, that was one of the best nights of my life!’ says Jamie. So, for all those single ladies out there, this one is for you. Crazy or not, promposals are some of the highlights of the whole prom season. Awful prom asks, along “With the*-constant*' warth^jbp ; malfunctions and ugly corsages, truly make prom the night of nights. By Sarah Colbert These are the confessions of anonymous NCSSM students. Warning, this article may be disturbing to some; reader discretion is advised. Dental Disgrace “I like to brush my teeth in the water fountain.” Cone-vict “I compulsively put ice cream cones in the ceiling tiles of Watt’s tunnel...every day. It just makes me feel so... tranquil. It’s like I’m casting off another worry with each cone. It’s very comforting.” Team Edward “Every night I watch him [my roommate]. He doesn’t know of course. I don’t know how he would take it. (chuckle) Sometimes the comer of his mouth will twitch or his delicate lashes with flutter and I fear he will wake and find me sitting aside him, but he always goes still again. He’s just so peaeeful in his slumber. It’s like he’s dead, but I don’t feel grief because I know he’s not. He’s just dancing spryly through a world of dreams and soft kittens. Then, when I doze off in ex'haus'tion during'claS's,'I hope that I look as peaceful as he does.” Respiratory Researcher “I’m a science work service student. Every time I go into the stockroom, I put different instraments up my nose and rate them on a scale of 1-10 where 1 signifies unpleasant, 5 indicates moderately gratifying, and 10 represents utterly sensational. , Plastic pipettes are an 11.” Sign-out Swiper “I take sign out cards from Bryan Lobby. Only from people I know. I keep a record of everywhere they go. That way, if they lie to me about where they go or who they go with, I will know. I will know...” Fear-facing Felon “Sometimes I go onto the physics floor and attach the alligator clips to my ear lobes, nostrils, lips, and belly button (I’m an outie). It started out very innocently. I just wanted to know what it would feel like to be attacked by an army of geckos. I worry about that kind of thing, and I thought it would help my fear if I knew sort of what to expect. Also, by sometimes, I mean every day.” Cutlery Culprit “I can’t help myself. I know I have a problem, but I’mjust out of control. I have a need for the PFM dishes. I love the feel of the smooth plastic bowls and the sweet cold kiss of the silverware against my skin. I look through the cups and see’a shihiiig liew'worfd'of possibilities. When I walk into the PFM, I envy the work service student washing the precious dishes. I see the spoons glittering in the fluorescent lighting. Then before I know what I’m doing, my book bag is filled with them and I’m running to my dorm. The adrenaline is exhilarating.” SAT creatively redesigned By Evan Brooks The College Board recently announced that it will be making fundamental changes to its previously, severely flawed, and predictable SAT. David Coleman, president of the College Board, announced that the SAT does not focus enough on important skills needed for college, such as cultural references and noticing changes in weather patterns. Coleman released a sample question at a press conference this past week, citing it will be more tailored to the life of a typical student in college. The sample question given to those in attendance is shown below. 1. What season will North Carolina be in tomorrow? A. Spring B. Summer C. Winter D. All of the above As part of a confidentiality agreement with the Educational Testing Service, the United Nations, Katy Perry, and several soccer moms, Coleman was not allowed to disclose the answer as it will be used on a future SAT. Coleman is assured that the redesigned SAT will allow more students to attend college, as every test comes with four random college admissions letters to all senior test takers. Several collegiate institutions, such as the University of North Carolina at Kitty Hawk, Promenade College, and University of the Humanities and Technologies in Kalamazoo, have already agreed to allow for admission letters to be included in the SAT tests. Before concluding the three day long press conference, Coleman also announced that crayons will be allowed for writing the optional essay and that leftover mints from the living room candy jar will be sitting on the first page of test booklet to welcome test takers.
North Carolina School of Science and Mathematics Student Newspaper
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
April 1, 2014, edition 1
2
Click "Submit" to request a review of this page. NCDHC staff will check .
0 / 75