OCTOBER 16, 1924
THE LEXHIPEP
PAGE FIVE
Mrs. W'alser—“Mary Lil, did that
boy kiss you last night?”
Mary Lil.—“ Now, mother, do you
suppose he came all the way from
State Street to hear me sing?”
* *
Mrs. Thompson—“Louise, what are
you doing out there?”
Louise—“I’m looking at the moon,
mother,”
Mrs. Thompson—“Well, tell the
moon to go home and come in off the
j)orch. It’s half-past twelve.”
« * :4c
Cy—“I don’t think I shall get zero
on this paper.”
Mr. Stokes—“Well, I don’t either,
but that’s the lowest I could give you.”
* * *
Doctor—“Tell your wife not to
worry about her deafness, as it is
merely an indication of advancing
years.”
Mr. Cowles—“Would you mind tel
ling her that yourself, doctor.”
* * *
Miss Zimmerman—“Who came af
ter Edward VI.?”
Lyda Lee—“Edward VII.”
Miss Zimmerman—“Who came af
ter Edward VII?”
Lyda Lee—“Queen Mary”
Miss Zimmerman—Who followed
Mary ?”
Lyda Lee—^“Her little lamb.”
* * *
The lightning bug is brilliant.
But he hasn’t any mind.
He blunders through existence.
With his head light on behind.
There was a young man called Willie,
His action you’d call silly.
He went to a ball dressed In nothing
at all.
Intending to represent Chili.
* * *
Elizabeth—“Why do they put corn
meal on the dance floor?”
Ham—“To make the chickens feel
at. home.”
# * *
Conductor—“Here, you must not
smoke on this car.”
Mr, Allen—“I’m not smoking.”
Conductor—^“Well, you have your
pipe in your .mouth.”
Mr. Allen—“Yes, I’ve got my feet
in my shoes, but I’m not walking.”
* *
Helen—“Charlie doesn’t love me,
mother.”
Mother—“Of coure, he loves you
child.”
Helen—“I know he doesn’t—I tried
him with a daisy.”
A gentleman sprang to assist her.
He picked up her muff and her
wrister,
“Did you fall ma’am, he cried;
“Do you think,” she replied,
“I sat down for the fun of
it, mister.”
* * *
The assistant minister announced
that there would be a special bapt
ismal service the following Sunday
afternoon at 3;30, and that any in
fants who were to be baptised should
be brought to the church at that time.
The old oleigyman, who was a little
deaf thought the speaking was about
the new hymnals, and added this bit
of information:
“Anyone not already provided can
obtain them in the vestry for a dollar,
or with red backs and speckled edges
for one dollar and a half.”
ir *
Someone asked a darky from Rich
mond the population of that city.
The reply was:—“Ah don’t know
edzakly, suh, but 1 opine ’bout a hun
dred en’ twenty-five thousan’ count
ing in ’de whites.”
# ije *
Mrs. Allen—“What did you open
that can with?”
Mr. Allen—“Why a can opener of
course, what did you think?”
Mrs. Allen—“Why from the lan
guage I thought maybe you were
opening it with prayer.”
4: !(! *
A stranger rang the door bell, and
Joe opened the door.
“Is Mr. Moffitt in?” the caller in
quired. Joe answered with formal
politeness:
“I’m Mr. Moffitt, or would you like
to see old Mr. Moffitt.”
* * *
Miss Owens—“Joe won’t you sit
down in front?”
Joe—“I can’t, I aint build that way”
* * t-
It was a busy day in the market,
and the butcher yelled to Lester who
was helping him: “Hurry up Lester,
cut off Mrs. Estes leg, weigh Mrs.
Zimmerman’s ribs, and slice Miss
Owens tongue.”
4= * *
Joe—“What do you know about
real estate?”
Dermot—“Lots.”
* * *
Mrs. Smith—“They tell me your son
is on the college foot ball eleven.”
Mrs. Jones—“Yes, indeed.”
Mrs. Smith—“What position does
he play?”
Mrs. Jone.s—“Aint sure, but I think
he is one of the draw-backs.”
* # ,j:
For an unconjugative atmosphere,
try Miss Walker’s Latin clas.s.
d>
£i>
d>
J>
?t>
?i>
d>
l>
d>
■|>
It?
rl?
fb
?l'>
d>
l>
\>
d>
b
C>
£l>
d>
1?
%
?!>
?l>
t>
)>
t>
£t>
Starnes, Parker
Miller Co.
Have the newest
JEWELRY,
NOVELTIES,
DIAMOND
RINGS,
WATCHES AND
SILVERWARE
Kodaks and
Supplies
Satisfaction or Your
Money Back
l>
i>
lt>
SC
t>
l>
d>
?l>
i>
11
l>
(>
l>
l>
l>
b
b
i>
|I
l)
l)
l>
l>
l>
0
b
d>
l>
b
l)
|3
C-
l>
b
l.
d>
l>
l>
St?
d?
Si?
Phone 312
Dr. Smith Bldg
i>
St>
I
i
st>
St?
St?
St?
st>
d>
Standard Cleaning Works
The Best Cleaning and
Pressing
Russell Davis, - Prop.
t>
i>
d?
d>
?l>
?l>
d>
§>
St?
t>,
tl>:
d>
t>
T
?•>
?l>
?b
d>
S'?
St?
t>
St?v
'?>'
^t>
tt>
?ti
d>
SI?
l>
d>
St?
Y
d>
L. A. MARTIN
St?
l>
St?
St?
i>
l>
b
b
i>
St?
SI?
t>
'St?
1?
s'?
l>
tt>
0
l>
l>
SI?
l>
}>
6
i>
5
lf>
0)
1*
r>
Law Office
John L. Trice
Gas, Oil, Accessories
and Storage
Walser & Walser
Attorneys at Law
1 2 Court House Square
Practice in all Courts
Phone 324
i>
i)
i>
t>
t>
i>
i>
b
l>
SI?
* .. Iv l-.Hs-t'v-l 4'^ iV iV 4Vl^l\/4\^ »' --is. Is/I^lXklXziV.