f '^1
'' * I
MARCH 23, 1925
THE LEXHIPEP
PAGE > FIVE
Time-Tu-Laf
Lex-O-Lights
Frances — (Going through her
father’s pockets) “I’m no^ a movie
star, but I certainly can handle this
little roll”.
• • ♦
Mr. Cowles—What battle was it
that Gen. Wolfe, when hearing of
victory, cried ”1 die happy?”
^ Nat I think it was his last, but
I’m not sure.
* • *
Mary Ril—“Billy, will you get my
watch ? It’s upstairs”.
Billy (“Aw, wait awhile, will run
down”.
Mary Lil ^“No, it won’t ’cau.se we’ve
Rot a winding staircase”.
• • «
Mi.ss Zimmerman—“Willie, you
spelled alibi with two I’s”
■Willie “Which one mu.st I take
out?”
• • *
Ham—(driving car) “can you tell
me where I can get some gas?”
Farmer—(slightly deaf) “Hey?”
Ham Ho, this ain’t a horse, it’s
an automobile, and I wan:, gas!”
* • •
Odell—“Mother, I found a little
green snake”.
Mrs. Vestal —(alarmed) “Odell
Please let it alone, for it may be as
dangerous as a ripe one”.
« « •
Cloyd “Does the wind luow much
Jiround those parts?"
Charlie “I’ve seen it blow so hard
that it blew an iron pipe inside nut,
^tnd a crooked road straight”.
The most importiant thing about
Scott is his death.
• • •
Dick Walser is so bright that Mr.
Bstes asked him to represent the
sun.
• ♦ ♦
■W^eldon Shoaf is so rough that a
match strikes when he touches it.
• • »
One of the most important addi
tions to L. H. S. is the sale of chew
ing gum.
* • •
A modern definition for climax (a
figure of speech) is “a weii known
brand of chewing tobacco.
• ♦ •
Aliss Ware certainly has an influ
ence as domestic science teacher.
Room I always smells like coffee.
• • •
A speaker last week remarked that
he didn’t know what to talk “on”—
They usually speak on the stage.
• • •
Mr. Hunt, asking a Senior- to read
a poem—“Rebecca ‘I fear your
kisses’ ”.
On the first day Mr. Hunt wore
his sweater to school. Dick Walser
casually informed him that he looked
■wretched”. Fortunately. Jtr. Hunt
didn’t hear it. R might have hurt
his feelings.
In a parlor there were three;
A parlor lamp, a maid, and he.
Two is company, without a doubt.
So the parlor lamp went out.
—St'locted.
Frank—“I pn.ssed my e.xam with
ease".
.Toe “E’s, what low m.ark.r!”
• • *
Dave “How did you get your cold?”
Bob “I got Chile over the radio
last night”.
» » *
Douise—“Is your brother a musi
cian ?”
Sara Frances—(“Why. at the age of
he played on the linoleum”,
• * *
Helen—^“I heard something nice
about you yesterday”.
Nona—“What?”
Helen—“I heard you looked a little
like me”.
Patronize the adverti.=ers.
In the late Junior-Senio- row, the
Freshmen and Sophomores were al
most forgotten. Where were they?
“Ever had any trouble wi,h pneu
monia?”
^ es, whenever I try to spell it”.
DRINK
IN BOTTLES
The seniors are having a hard time
trying to decide on one of two plays
to be given at graduation time. Both
“The Boomerang” and “The Hoodoo”
are suitable for presentation and are
being given weighty consideration.
“The Boomerang” is a comedy-drama
and has a fine love plot, including a
drop kiss, (what Senior boys and
girls would you suggest for those
two?) “The Hoodoo” is a war love
story. One of the two will be decided
on as soon as possible, and parts will
be given out. More work will be done
on this production than the recent
one, and we hope to have a much bet
ter success.
b or the next two weeks, starting
from today, the Hi-V dub will have
charge of the chapel programs. These
chapel periods will be used in inform
ing the rest of the schbol of the pur
pose of the Hi-Y, and for what it
stands. From the kind of boys who
are in the club, we think that these
programs will be well worth hearing,
and a worthy examyple of what the
club can do.
Oh, Aspirin, dear Aspirin, my head
aches for you.
Printed CARDS
We will be glad to
supply Seniors and
others with Print
ed cards. They cost
much less than en
graving and look
about as well—few
people can tell the
difference.
Fred O. Sink Ptg.
House
Phone 6221 Varner Bldff.