V
APRIL. 7, 1925
THE L.EXHIPEP
PAGE- three
TILE COUNTY SCHOOL
Characters—Miss Phillips teacher;
Mr. Johnson supervisor; Mrs Harris,
Mrs. Jones; Scholars—Sarah Smith,
Eliza Parker, Susie Jones, Pat Smith,
Mary Johnson, Henry Brown, Jimmy
Harris.
Act I—Scene I
The scene is in a county school-
house. It is the first day of school
and there is a new teacher. There
is only one door to the room, through
which the children all try to come
at once. The teacher is neatly
dressed and well cultured. She is
much shocked at the way the children
l)ehave.
Teacher—Will the class come to
order, please?
Jimmy—W^e lain’t never had no
order yet.
Teacher—I will now get your names
and clas.sify you. What is your
r ame ?
Sarah—Sarah Anne Elizabeth Alex
andria Smith.
Teacher—My heavens! How' old are
you ?
Sarah—I wuz eight years old the
middle of last March and I will be
nine years old the midd.e of next
March.
Teacher—Naturally you will, and
how old are'you?
Eliza—I’m six years old.
Teacher—You are too yoimg to be
In this class.
Eliza ^No, I ain’t neither, my ma
said if I wuzn’t [left In this here
class that you wouldn’t be litre long.
Class—(All speaking at once and
making a great noise). Yes’mum
she’s in this class. You’d better let
her alone cause her ma, she’s a cutter.
Teacher—Oh well, I suri'o.S'e it
doesn’t matter.
Now, what is your name?
Susie—My name’s Susie.
Teacher—Susie, what? What is
your maiden name.
Su.sie—^What made my name?
Well now I ain’t never heard ’o that
before.
Teacher—I mean your las-, name.
Susie—Well if you must know my
name’s Su.sie Angellne Annabelle
.Tones. I wuz named fer my pa’s
ole sweetheart.
Teacher—You are next, what is
your name? Something dreadful I
know.
Pat—Saint I'atrlck Eliza Paul
Peter Smith. I wuz borned on St.
Patrick’s Day; that’s where I got
part of my name.
Teacher—^What is your age?
Es-t—I’m jest a dozen.
Teacher—This class may take their
seats. Wili the arithmetic class
please come forward? Won’t the
class please be quiet, I cannot keep
my mind or; my work.
Pfit—Who ever heard of anybody
keeping their mind on theii work?
I try to keep mine in my head.
(The class all giggles at this)
Teacher You need not try to be so
smart.
E>tt—^dVell now, jest listen at her.
My ma and pa tells me to bo as smart
as I can.
Teacher—Now that the class has
quieted down perhaps I can under
stand you. How old did you say you
were?
Mary—I ain’t never said yit.
Teacher—^Tell me your age.
Mary—I think I’m a quarter of ten
ain’t I Pat?
Pat—.Be blessed if I know. Why
don’t you keep up with the time?
Mary—(Crying) Teacher make him
tell ’cause he knows. Ma told him
’fore we left this morning.
Pat—She didn’t neither. There
you go telling more .stories on me.
Teacher—You children, be quiet.
I shall not allow this noise in the
school rooms.
Pat—But Pa lets us fight it out at
home.
Teacher Be quiet, your n-ame next.
Henry—Henry Wadsworth Longfel
low Brown. Pa named me that
cause he said I'd be a great man
some day.
Teacher—Oh dear! I wiil take the
algebra class next. Susie, what do
you know about algebra?
Susie—I don’t know nut.hin’.
Teacher—Then what are you in
this class for?
Susie—Cause grandpap .^aid you
mu.st know algebra if ye had a good
edication.
Teachri- Mary, do 3-ou know any
thing al'i i algebra?
Mar.v- r.hin’ except it’s a whole
m.ess of .' and Y’s and there ain’t
nothin’ Lo none of ’em.
—Teacher—That will d.->. i see
that you children have never had
much training. You may have j-our
recess now.
Scene II.
This is the last day of school and
the children are all dressed in their
best clothes, which are very old and
comical looking. They are to pre
sent a program.
Teacher—If there is anyone here
who -wishes to examine th.e children
they may do so.
Mr. Johnson—I should. Will the
arithmetic class come forward please?
(after much confusion the children
take their places) Mary, what is a
fraction ?
Mary—It is two numbers, one on
top of the other with a lino in be
tween.
Mr. Johnson—Sai^ah, name the
terms of a fraction.
Sarah—Summer and winter,
Mr. Johnson—You well know that'
is wrong; you should not be in this
class.
Airs. Smith—How dare you? My
Sarah’s as smart as the rest of ’em
younguns.
Air. Johnson—Oh allright, I didn’t
mean to offend you. Susie, how do
you subtract fractions?
Susie—.Take away one from the
other.
Air. Johnson—Yes, but explain the
process.
Susie Aw, I don’t use no process
I work ’em in my head.
Mrs. Jones—See, I told you my
Susie wuz smart.
Air. Johnson—That will do. I will
now take the history clas.s. Who
discovered America Pat?
—George Washington, of course.
Air. Johnson—Fine, now who was
Sir Walter Raleigh.
•limmj-—Aw, I don’t know but I
think he wuz the first m.-m to .sail
around the world.
Air. Johnson—Your eiliciency in
answering my questions shows that
you have had excellent training. We
will now hear the recitations.
Teacher—First we will have a
"welcome” by Eliza Parker.
(Continued on Page 5)
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