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THE LEXHIPEP
January 30, 1948
Sapp’s Fibbles
By A. SAPP
Barbara R.: “I like guys with blue eyes and green backs!’
Mary Nell: “Charles, dear,” she asked softly, “can you drive with
one hand?”
Pea Head: “Yes, my sweet,” he cooed in ecstacy of anticipation.
Mary Nell: “Then you’d better wipe your nose; it’s running.”
Father: “Well, T. D., how are your marks at school?”
T. D.: “Under water!”
Father: “What do you mean?”
T. D.: “They’re all below the ‘C’ level.
Blalock: Do you enjoy Kipling?
Mr. Gathings: Well, I don’t want to appear ignorant, but I don’t know.
Just how do you Kipple?
Raker: I want a razor.
Clerk: Safety razor?
Raker: No, sir; I want it for social purposes.
Doug C.: “Can’t see what keeps gals from freezing in the cold weather.’
Bender: “You’re not supposed to.”
Marriage is like a bath; by the time you get use to it it’s not so hot.
Boy Friend: Did you know that I am practically married?
Mike S.: Oh, goodness! I thought you were going to say this car wasn’t
yours.
Newell: “Have you ever had any indecent relations?”
Carter: ‘‘Yes, but they’re all dead now.”
Amos Fritts: “Is this hair tonic any good?”
Jimmy Grayson: “Is it good? Why, i spilled some of it on my comb
last week, and look—now it’s a brush.”
A colored lady patient was asked if she had ever been X-rayed.
“No, suh! I aint’ never been X-rayed, but I shore have been ultra-
violated.”
’Tubba C.: “What would you do if I tried to kiss you?” he asked heavily.
Joanne K.: “Yell for father,” she quickly replied.
He sprang away from her and gulped nervously: “Great Scott! I thought
your father was out of town.”
“That’s right; he is,” she sweetly replied.
He—“Please!” She—“No!” He—“Just this once!” She—“No! I said.”
He—“Aw heck, ma! All the rest of the kids are going barefoot.”
She was only a grave-digger’s daughter, but you ought to see her lower
the beer.
“Porter, get me another glass of ice water.”
“Sorry, suh, but if I takes any mo’ ice, dot co’pse in de baggage car
ain’t going to keep.”
“Help! Help! I’ve been robbed!” she cried. “Someone has taken my
aunt’s pay!”
A policeman quieted her. “Cut out the pig-Latin and tell me what hap
pened,” he said.
It is reliably reported that Mahatma Ghandi left college because all the
girls were after his pin.
Quality Dairy
Products
COBLE DAIRY
PRODUCTS
Home Office
Lexington, N. C.
Phone 2383
“CALL FOR COBLE QUALITY
Compliments of
NEW HOTEL LEXINGTON
PHONE 2737
Briggs Furniture
Company
Electric Refrigerators
Washing Machines
Radios
SOUTH MAIN STREET
E F I R D ’ S
The Store for Correct Merchandise
For Less Money
Industrial Bank
Of Lexington
Development Building
Loans Made to Both Men
and Women
Large Enough For Values
MACKS’
5c, 10c & 25c Store
Small Enough To
Feel An Interest
In Every Customer
South Main Street
Piedmont Furniture
Company
“You Furnish the Wife;
We Furnish the Home”
NORTH MAIN STREET
LEXINGTON, N. C.
Phone 2366
The Parade of Hits Cominig To
—the—
a^norium
Mon.-Tues.
Feb. 2-3
“I Walk Alone”
Lizabeth Scott
Bert Lancaster
Feb. 16-18
“Green Dolphin
Street”
Lana Turner
Van HefUn
Feb. 9-11
“Body and Soul”
John Garfield
Feb. 23-24
“Down to Earth”
Larry Parks
Rita Hayworth
Coming: “My Wild Irish Rose”—Dennis Morgan