Newspapers / Lexington High School Student … / Dec. 17, 1948, edition 1 / Page 10
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Page 10 THE LEXHIPEP December 17, 1948 A. Sapp’s Fibbles By A. SAPP Bookkeeper; I’ll have to have a raise, sir. There are three companies after me. Manager; That so? What companies? Bookkeeper; Light, telephone anti water! Harold Carter; I think we ought to teach that dizzy blonde the differ ence between right and wrong. Blake Phillips; Good idea; you teach her what’s right. A gentleman is a fellow who makes it a cinch for a woman to remain a lady. Flattery is telling the other fellow what he already thinks of himself. ■ I recall the story of the wolf of the woods who drove a gal into the bosky piaces, turned off the motor, and asked for a kiss. She shook her head for a half hour before he discovered she had her nose caught in the windshield wiper. Irate Wife; Oscar, one of the ducks you were shooting yesterday called and left her number. Missionary; Do your people know anything about religion? Cannibal; Oh, we got a taste of it when the last missionary was here. “Whitey”; Should a father of 50 get married again? Don Leonard; No; that’s enough children for any man. Three salesmen talking; “I hate to see a woman drink alone,” said the beer salesman. “And I hate to see a woman eat alone,” added the food salesman. The third salesman, who sold mattresses, was a gentleman, and remained s-ilent. Then there is the hungry man who starved to death while trying to get the cellophane wrapper off a drugstore sandwich. Foyle Wagner; “My grandfather lived to be nearly 90 and never used glasses.” Brice Leonard; “Well, lots of people prefer to drink from a bottle.” Judge; So your name is Joshua. You’re not the Joshua who made the sun stand still, are you? Culprit; No, suh. Judge. Ah’m de Joshua dat made de moonshine. Cannibal King; What are we having for lunch today? Cook; Two old maids. King; Ugh! Leftovers again! The arithmetic class was learning about weights and measures. Coach Maus; What does milk come in? “Mickey” Foster; In pints. Coach Maus; What else? ‘‘Mickey” thought deeply for a moment and then said brightly; In squirts. Major; But, Rastus, why do you call your cooties arithmetic bugs? Rastus; ’Cause dey add to my misery, subtract from my pleasure, divide my attention, and multiply like the dickens. If some women’s hindsight were as good as their foresight they wouldn’t wear slacks. Mary Jane; Is my face dirty, or is it my imagination? “Wit” Wood; Your face is clean; I don’t know about your imagination. A hotel is a place where guests often give up good dollars for poor quarters. A man can sometimes get a pearl out of an oyster, but it takes a pretty gal to get a diamond out of a crab. Lady (at party); Where’s that pretty maid who was passing out cock tails a while ago?? Hostess; Oh, are you looking for a drink? Lady; No; I’m looking for my husband. “I’ll see you,” said our hero as he laid down four aces in a game of strip poker. “Better put me out,” suggested the cigarette to the bartender, “before I make an ash out of myself.” A fussy old lady was traveling across the country on a bus and Was getting extremely angry with the frequent stops. “Why,” she asked the driver, “must you stop at every telephone pole?” “Sorry, lady,” muttered the driver, “but this is a greyhound.” You kissed and told. But that’s all right; The one you told Called up last night. First Motorist; I love the beauties of the countryside. Second Motorist; So do I; sometimes I give them a lift. Bobby Clinard; “You should be ashamed of yourself, laughing at that fat man.” Paul Jarvis; “I’m just having fun at his expanse”. Speeder — “Was I driving too fast?” Motor Cop — “Hell, no. You were flying too low.” “Buddy, couldja spare a dime?” “No, but come along and I will buy your breakfast.” “Heck, no. I’ve et three breakfasts now trying to get a dime.” TOUCHDOWN CLUB (Continued from page eight) Dr. D. C. McWhorter presented Bill Eanes the trophy for the most val uable player. The av/ard was based on a vote by the football "team and intelligent sidelines. Presents were presented to the three coaches; Head Coach James R. Maus was presented a suit and accessories by Pickett and Green; Assistant Coach Harold Bowen was also given a suit by Fred Thompson; and As sistant Coach Jimmy Eanes received a pair of shoes from Family Shoe Center. The football team and coaches ap preciate deeply the Interest Lexington Tcuchdowners have in them, and the banquet will be a cherished memory ot high school days. WILSONS GROCERY WISHES ALL A MERRY CHRISTMAS Winston Road Phone 2402 BOWERS & TAYLOR HARDWARE CO. PHONE 2465 CITY DRUG CO. “THE SERVICE STORE” Phone 2233 HAPPY HOLIDAYS WAGNER TIRE SERVICE “Home of the Brake Doctor” Wheel Balancing and Aligning U. S. TIRES SHOAF APPLIANCE CO. “The Business That Was Built On Service” PHONE 2711 Visit MYERS APPLIANCE At Christmas MACK’S 5c, 10c & 25c STORE Parker-Miller Jewelers Wishes All MERRY CHRISTMAS Hilltop Florist “The Woodliefs" Phone 2846 963 S. Main Street “FLOWERS” Briggs Furniture Company Electric Refrigerators Washing Machines Radios SOUTH MAIN STREET MERRY CHRISTMAS from BECK’S BARBECUE Davidson Motor Co. Season’s Greetings Piedmont Furniture Co. “YOU FURNISH THE MONEY; WE FURNISH THE GIFT’ PHONE 2366 NORTH MAIN STREET
Lexington High School Student Newspaper
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Dec. 17, 1948, edition 1
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