Newspapers / Lexington High School Student … / Jan. 28, 1949, edition 1 / Page 8
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Page 8 THE LEXHIPEP January 28, 1949 Sapp’s Fibbles By A. SAPP Mr. Leonard: Who was the smartest inventor? “Shorty” S.: Thomas A. Edison. He invented the phonograph and radio so people could stay up all night and use his electric bulbs. _ A young couple afoot came in to report that their car got stuck. They got out to push, and what do you think happened? Someone stole the car! A young mother had just unburdened herself and told her son the facts of life. At the end she said, “Now, if you want to know anything else, just ask me?” The boy appeared in serious thought, then gravely turned to his mother and inquired, “How do they get the Saturday Evening Post out on Wednesday?” The height of diplomacy is to say, “I beg your pardon, sir,” when you happen to surprise a lady in a bath-tub. Joanie Green: Did you see those boys staring at that girl boarding the bus? “Cooter” White: What boys? Conductor: How many are in this berth? Man: Just one; here’s our ticket. First Playwright: It’s easy to write a play. First act, boy meets girl; second act, they hold hands; third act, they kiss— Second Playwright: That’s how I got arrested. First Playwright: How’s that? Second Playwright: I wrote a five-act play. “You’ve read that sentence wrong, Betsy, said the teacher. “ ‘All men are created equal,’ is the quotation, and not all men are made the same way!” He (boasting): I want to die with my boots on! Redhead (purring): Well, put ’em on. Here comes my husband. Tight clothing never did hurt a girl’s circulation. Sandy was to be hanged at midnight. He loudly protested his innocence. At last the warden, a sympathetic man, suggested that he send a telegram to the Governor, asking for a reprieve. Sandy jumped at the chance. But at midnight the execution went forward as per schedule. When the guard called for him, Sandy was still trying to get his message to the Governor into ten words. Janet Brown: If I am the first girl you ever kissed, how is it you kiss so well? Bobby S.: If I am the first boy who ever kissed you, how do you know I kiss so well? Policeman: You can’t park in front of that fire hydrant. Amelia Brown: Why not? The sign says, “Pine for parking.” Customer: Have you a book called “Man the Master of Women”? Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir. “I said some very foolish things to my boy friend last night.” “Yes?” , “That was one of them.” “I’m sorry,” said the elevator girl. “Did I stop too quickly?” “Oh, no,” said the disgruntled passenger. “I always wear my pants down around my ankles!” Lou: So you taught your wife to play poker? Don:. Yes, it was a swell idea! Last Saturday I won back nearly a third of my salary. Harry Gore bought two rabbits and two years later he still had two rabbits. How was he to know they were brothers? THIS IS NO JOKE! WILSONS GROCERY Winston Road Phone 2402 BOWERS & TAYLOR HARDWARE CO. PHONE 2465 MACK’S 5c, 10c & 25c STORE “Small Enough To Feel An Interest In Every Customer” South Main Street SHOAF APPLIANCE CO. “The Business That Was Built On Service” PHONE 2711 COMPLIMENTS OF PEOPLES FINANCE CO. Insurance—Auto Loans RECORDS? We Got ’Em COLONIAL FURNITURE COMPANY We' Sell For Less SUNLIGHT LAUNDRY Corner Fourth Street and Greensboro Street “Let Our Phone Line Be Your Clothes Line” GENUINE DRY CLEANING PHONE 428 DICK’S DRY CLEANERS LEXINGTON’S BEST Phone 444 37 East First Avenue COMPLIMENTS OF ERLANGER MILLS CREAM in EVERY DROP Because It's Homogenized ! Coble's Homegenized Milk has the cream sealed in every drop. Tastes better, more degestiblel Vitamin D added makes it Extra good for building strong bones and teeth! Ask for It ot your Coble Dealerl Coble's Homogenized Vitamin D MILK! Coble Dairy Products THE BEAUTIFUL NEW North Carolina’s Finest Theatre January 31 and February 1 “Every Girl Should Be Married” CARY GRANT February 7 and 8 “Blood On the Moon” Robert Mitchum—Barbara Bel Geddies February 14 and 15 “Johnny Belinda” Lew Ayers—Jane Wyman February 21 and 22 “Whispering Smith,” in Technocolor Alan Ladd—Brenda Marshall
Lexington High School Student Newspaper
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Jan. 28, 1949, edition 1
8
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