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THE LEXHIPEP
February 25, 1949
A. Sapp’s Fibbles
By A. SAPP
Marriage is something a woman tries when the wolf whistles get farther
and farther apart.
Newspapers are like women. They have forms, back numbers are not
in demand, they are well worth looking over, they have a great deal of in
fluence, you can’t believe everything they say, there’s small demand for the
bold face type, and they’re much thinner now.
FAMOUS LAST WORDS: Remind me to have these brakes checked—
tomorrow.
A good letter, like a woman’s skirt, should be long enough to cover the
subject and short enough to create interest.
Any girls looking for a thrill should kiss a man with hiccoughs.
Love starts when she sinks in your arms and ends with her arms in
the sink.
Martha Hooper: What would you say to a girl who kisses every guy
she meets?
Jimmy Dan: Pleased to meet you.
Carry your bag, sir?
No; let her walk.
She sat on the bridge in the moonlight.
And tickled his face with her toes.
For she was a lovely mosquito.
And the bridge was the bridge of his nose.
Is it a modern farm house?
No, five rooms and path.
One thing you can be sure of—when a woman driver puts her hand out
the window, you know it’s open.
The gas company in a small college town inserted the following adver
tisement in the local newspaper: Wanted: “Hard-boiled beauty proof tngn
to read meters in sorority houses. We haven’t made a dollar in two years.”
Three old men were discussing the ideal way of dying; the first, age 75,
said he’d like to crash in a car going 80 mph. The second. 85, said he’d
take his finish in a 400 mph plane. “I’ve got a better idea,” said the third,
aged 95: “I’d like to be shot by a jealous husband.”
I hear you and your husband are not getting along well together.
Of all the silly, vicious rumors! Oh, it’s true we had an argument and
I shot him—but that’s as far as it ever went.
In the sophomore English Class Miss Sugg was discussing etiquette.
When she finished, she asked Herbert Sink how he would ask a girl to dance.
Herbert replied: “Come on, worm; let’ wiggle!”
Blonde: That husband of mine is a worm, if I ever saw one.
Redhead: He certainly is; I just saw a chicken pick him up.
The post-war let-down—women’s skirts. “A-hem.”
Jones was sitting with his wife behind a palm on a hotel veranda late
one night, when a young man and a girl came and sat down on the bench
near them. The young man began to tell the girl how pretty she was.
Hidden behind the palm, Mrs. Jones whispered to her husband: “Oh
John, he doesn’t know we’re here and he’s going to propose—whistle to
warn him.
What for? ’ asked Jones. Nobody whistled to warn me.”
Carolyn: “I’m not in any hurry to get married. There’ll always be plenty
of fish in the sea.” f i
Jo Ann B.. Yes, but watch out your bait doesn’t grow stale.
Compliments of
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CROUSES SHOE REPAIR
“Where Shoes Are Correctly
Repaired”
BOWERS & TAYLOR
HARDWARE CO.
PHONE 2465
SHOAF APPLIANCE CO.
“The Business That Was Built
On Service”
PHONE 2711
WILSONS GROCERY
Winston Road Phone 2402
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COMPANY
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‘YOU FURNISH THE WIFE;
WE FURNISH THE HOME”
PHONE 2366
NORTH MAIN STREET
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THE BEAUTIFUL NEW
North Carolina’s Finest Theatre
Sat Nite Late Show
MONDAY, FEB. 28-
TUESDAY, MARCH 1
WALT DISNEY’S
“So Dear To My Heart”
Sat. Nite Late Show
MONDAY, TUESDAY,
APRIL 7 AND 8
“WAKE OF THE
RED WITCH”
John Wayne Gail Russell
Sat. Late Show
Monday, Tuesday
MARCH 14-15
A Letter To 3 Wives
Jeanne Crain, Linda
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Sat. Late Show
MON.—TUES,
MARCH 21-22
“SNAKE PIT”
starring
Olivia de Havilland