April 1, 1949
THE LEXHIPEP
Page 3
THE HOT SEAT
Death row, waiting room for the
patients of a cure-all with no fee,
is not a cheery place. Here men cling
to the hope of an eleventh hour re
prieve. I don’t even have that hope.
Tonight is my night; Harry Conner’s
night. Here comes the priest now.
“Hello, Father!”
“Confession’^ Sure I’ll tell you
what happened. I shot two people.
I lost my temper. This is why I
did it.
“The first person I shot ^was my
best friend. He stole my wife, but i
forgave him. He also borrowed my
car to take a trip in and wrecked it;
but it was insured. To top it all,
he borrowed my Sunday paper before
I got a chance to read it, and when
he returned it, I found that he had
lost the funnies. So, I shot him.
“My lawyer said that I could prob
ably get off with justifiiable homicide
for that, but I again lost my temper
and shot another person. He was a
liar and I don’t like liars.
—Buddy Foster
‘We were in court and everything
was going fine. The prosecution
called me all sorts of names and, of
course, my lawyer objected. The pros
ecution said that I was a rat, that I
didn’t support my wife, and that gen
erally I was no good. I let him get
away with that because he could prove
it; but when he said that I had
bribed a juryman, I couldn’t control
my temper. I shot him, too.
“Imagine him saying that I bribed
a juryman! I only tried to bribe him.
“After this my doom was sealed.
The jury found me guilty, and the
judge sent me to the hot-seat.”
Here I go down the last mile. There’s
the chair. I’m strapped in it and the
warden is pulling the switch!
* * *
“Harry! Harry, wake up. You are
sitting up as stiff as a ramrod.”
“Huh! Oh! I was dreaming about
that movie I saw last night.”
“Yeh! Harry, that imagination of
yours will be the death of us both yet.”
Ed. Note—Since the following two articles are fiction we deemed it plausible
to put them on the literary page.
New Plans Revealed for Graduation
A.P. Flash—The advisor for the Senior Class of Lexington High School
calmly laid forth her plans for the removal of said one hundred sophisticated
seniors of the class of ’49 when she revealed her plans to a well chosen
committee of one dignified senior. The advisor took every precaution to
break the shocking news to her feeble-minded subject little by little so that
she could explain the benefits of the reconversion.
“It has become a custom,” she explained, “to make graduation a quiet
and dignified event when really this should be the time to rejoice. Instead
of having students filled with tears, we should have them filled with cheers,
for graduation is one of the happier events of life.”
With this as an introduction to what she was driving at, she began to
lay the foundation for her well-designed plan, hoping it would meet the
approval of her one-man committee, Pimmy Jlott, who, incidentally, needed
five points in English to pass.
“As I said before,” she continued, “I find it’s time to break away from
the old customs of a quiet and heart-touching graduation. My plan is to
allow every S'enior to participate in the ceremony. Instead of the ancient notes
of “Largo,” arrangements have been made for the high school band to play.
This will provide louder music and an easier mode of moving the music as
the students move since a piano is not easily carried. With the high school
band to lead, the seniors will calmly and quietly assemble in front of Stamey’s
Barbecue Stand to begin their procession of dignity and honor.
“My plans are for the parade to go up through the alley until they come
to third Street; here they will turn, proceed to Main Street, and with heads
held high, march down Main Street while the band plays “We’re Loyal”.
When they have finished their gallant march dowm Main Street, they
shall again unite and sing “Stardust”. When this touching ceremony is com
pleted, they shall scatter to all parts of the square; this is designed to give
everyone an equal chance to find a comfortable seat on the pavement.
We shall do away with our class valedictorian, as this sometimes causes
confusion as to who should speak, and, instead, the class will hear a speech
by Dr. I. C. Blabbermouth, noted wind bag. His speech shall be on the inter
national subject which is of profound interest to all graduates, “Why Teacher;
Should Get More Pay.” After Dr. Blabbermouth has spoken, we shall have a
brief outline of “Macbeth” for the benefit of the underclassmen sometimes
known as Juniors. These features should be of interest to all who will attend
commencement.
“Because of the high cost of living and the need of the Red Cross for
money, diplomas will not be given this year; instead each senior, when
his name is called, will step forward, present a dollar bill, and will receive
a Red Cross sticker with these words on the bottom—“Class of ’49”.
“This completes the first part of our program, after which the class shall
again unite and march along behind the band to Cecil School playground
where a large bonfire composed of Macbeth contracts will be lit to celebrate
the passing of another class. And what do you think of my plan?” she
asked of the committee of one as she picked up her grade book. “You are
to present the plans to the class.”
“Magnificent,” he said with a smile of consolation in receiving his five
necessary points. “Absolutely magnificent.”
“And,” she concluded, “I forgot the most important thing. The date
for commencement has been changed from June 7 to April 1!”
“Magnanimously magnificent!” gasped the Five Necessary Points as he
fainted.
(Editor’s note; Just then a gun fired four times, and the teacher had
a heart attack—) “High Point Enterprise”—Copyright, Jimmy Plott.
FOOLS FANCY
Yes, it’s football weather. When
we think of football weather we quite
often think of football. When we
think of football we inevitably think
of the annual football clash between
the Quill & Scroll—girls vs. boys.
This year the rivalry is keener than
ever. Despite the fact that the girls
ran rough-shod over the stronger-sex
last year, the boys are confident of
an easy victory. And why not, with
that piston-legged, bullet throwing,
explosive dynamo, Jim Redwine rar
ing to go? Then there’s that mon
strosity of a tackle, Jim Dillon, who
was only last year a ninety-seven
pound weakling. There are many
other stars in their field, among which
are: “Cowboy” Beck, triple-threat
back; “Bouncing Butrem” Foster,
utility man; and, of course, that won
derful “Choo-Choo” Peeler.
Speaking of stars, the girls have a
few heavenly bodies (yak-yak) on their
side. There’s that heavyweight full
back, Jo Ann Blackwelder, who is ex
pected to rip the “laddies’ line” into
shreds. Naturally Harriet Leonard,
who last year was selected “All-So
rority” by leading coaches of the state.
Honesty
—Elizabeth Clodfelter
The boy sat dejectedly on the bench
in the park. His head was bowed
upon his hands and he seemed im
mune to the loveliness of the park.
Birds were singing merrily and squir
rels ran up and down the trees, talk
ing to themselves as only squirrels
can, but the boy heard nothing.
It seemed as though the boy be
lieved the world were coming to an
end. Suddenly there was a musical
voice saying kindly, “Surely there is
nothing that can cause yoji that much
misery.” She smiled kindly, and
somehow the world seemed brighter
In answer to her silent Inquiry he
said, “Tomorrow we play the most
Important basketball game of the sea
son. We have two boys injured and
I almost have to play and yet I just
can’t.” He hesitated for a few sec
onds and then continued, “You see, I
cheated in my English exam today
and I don’t feel as though I have the
right to my suit.” The misery crowd
ed back into his face.
The girl began to speak softly. “The
only thing to do is to go to Coach
Jameson and explain. He will under
stand, I’m sure of that. Life is full
of struggles and we have so much
hard work before us. If we meet it
gallantly, all will be well. Coach
Jameson will see that you get an
other chance to make good, but you
must first prove that you deserve it
by admitting your wrong.”
With this she struggled to get to
her feet. The boy jumped to her
assistance and stood silently as she
slowly walked away. The girl .was
encased in braces from the waist
down, and, watching her struggle to
get ahead by patiently bearing all the
pain, the boy’s shoulders gradually
drew back and he turned to do the
deed before him, even though he
knew how unpleasant it would be. He
smiled and fervently promised him
self that he would find the girl and
thank her for putting him on the
road to that which was right—the road
that led to honesty, both with him
self and wit his fellowmen.
is up to previous form. She’s a sure
starter at end. Coach Peggy Hedrick
was reluctant to give information on
her charges because of the keen rival
ry that reigns in this mad fracas.
Therefore we are hesitant in printing
more information about them.
’The proceeds from this game go
toward the construction of the new
Scroll Bowl stadium here in Lexington.
We hesitate to forecast a winner—
we’ll call it a toss up! See you at
the Scroll Bowl.
(Ed. Note: The writer of this article
wishes to remain anonymous.
Ed. Note—This is the poem Harriet
is having put in the National An-
thoiogy.
NEAR EASTER DAY
—Harriet Leonard
I walked in the garden
One early spring day.
The scene was s lovely
I just had to stay.
There lilies, and pansies.
And sweet bluebells grew—
Bright jonquils and tulips
And violets too.
And the birds in the trees
All seemed to be glad
They looked so joyful
I couldn’t be sad.
And the message that they
Were all trying to say
Was, “Be happy, be gay,
’Tis near Easter day.”
THE LORD GOES ON
FOREVER
—Don Leonard
The wind may come and the wind
may go;
The Lord goes on forever.
Sorrow and sin may enter in
To hinder the heart’s endeavor;
But the gates of heaven are open wide;
The Lord is standing by your side;
And like the wind and like the tide—
The Lord goes on forever!
As we go on from day to day.
The Lord goes on forever.
We should strive to choose the way
that’s right
And turn from his guidance never.
God is great and God is strong;
God will guide our steps along;
God will help choose right from
wrong.
The Lord goes on forever.
So go on striving to do the right;
The Lord goes on forever.
The easy way Christ did not take
During His life’s endeavor.
So let’s choose a path that’s free from
sin.
And in the end we’re sure to win;
Then heaven’s gate we’ll enter in—
And live with the Lord forever!
APRIL’S FOOL
—Bonnie Leonard
A small boy sat on a dunce stool.
And wished he wer efar from the
school.
Since this was his day.
He Wanted his way.
For it happened to be April Fool.
HO »
HE AFRIL POOL?
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