Page 8
THE LEXHIPEP
Friday, March 24, 1950
/
A SAPP’S
FIBBLES
By A SAPP
Most girls are wonderful to behold—some to be held.
Love is like a fried egg. Looks pretty at first but the moment you take
a stab at it, it becomes a big mess.
' I call my girl Baseball because she won’t play without a diamond.
He’s not cheap, just has low pockets and short arms.
!
All a sweater does for her is make her itch.
I only go out with good girls. I can’t afford the other kind.
They study hard in college nowadays. Sometimes it’s so quiet in the
men’s dormitories you can hear a pin up.
I went downtown to see the model home, but my wife caught me.
Song; “I’m Glad I Made You Cry—Now Your Face Looks Cleaner.’’
My mind is always wandering, but don’t worry—it ain’t big enough to
get too far away.
A girl nowadays has more on her going to a shower than she has on
going to the theatre.
“We’ll have to rehearse that,” said the undertaker as the coffin fell out
of the car.
First Dog: Do you have a family tree?
Second Dog: No, we’re not particular,
A bartender is a sort of fortune teller—he brings you into contact with
the spirit world.
When a girl finds she isn’t the only pebble on the beach, she usually
gets a little boulder.
Harry Gore: Who wrote that?
Sid Proctor: Wrote what?
Harry: Nosmo King.
Sid: Nosmo King?
Harry: Yeah, it says right here on the program ‘Nosmo King’.
Sid; You fool, that says ‘No Smoking’.
“Millie ” Leonard: That’s the ugliest portrait I’ve ever seen.
Johnny Morgan: Come away from that mirror.
It looks like couples get married nowadays before they know each other,
and get divorced as soon as they do.
She reminds me of coffee—strong and stimulating and weak in the bean.
Too much sugar in my coffee used to keep me awake all night, now I’m
up all night looking for sugar.
I wasn’t feeling well, so my doctor said, “Avoid all forms of excitement.
Don’t even look at ’em on the street.”
Overheard: A conversation of an eighth grader with his father—“You
can see she’s against me—she has me even dumber than I was last month
and you know that’s impossible!”
Big Shots are only shots who keep on shooting.
Pa (sternly): “Come here, sir! Your mother and I agreed that you
deserve a good whipping.”
Small Boy (bitterly): “Oh, yes, that’s about the only thing on which
you and mamma ever do agree.”
Most women w'ould be more spic if they had less span.
An egotist is a guy who is always me-deep in conversation.
WILSON’S GROCERY
Winston Road Phone 2402
DELIVERY SERVICE
FRED THOMPSON, Inc.
Michael-Stern Clothes
Jarman Shoes
DICK’S DRY CLEANERS
LEXINGTON’S BEST
PHONE 444
37 East First Avenue
Industrial Bank
Of Lexington
Development Building
Loans Made to Both Men
and Women
MEMBER F.D.I.C.
FAMILY SHOE CENTER
LEXINGTON, N. C.
LEXINGTON DRUG
COMPANY
Lexington’s Prescription Drug
Store for Over 51 Years
Same Management
Fry Electric Co.
Lexington’s Oldest
Electrical Contractors
PHONE 517
East First Avenue
GREEN PRINTING
COMPANY
Blue Horse School
Supplies
PHONE 543
Lexington, N. C.
O. L. EVANS
MOTOR CO.
“We Can Fix Your Car
Like New”
1
Comer Main and West Second Sts.
Piedmont Furniture Co.
“YOU FURNISH THE WIFE;
WE FURNISH THE HOME”
PHONE 2368
NORTH MAIN STREET
March 26-27-28
“BATTLEGROUND”
Van Johnson—George Murphy
April 2-3
“CHAIN LIGHTNING”
Humphrey Bogart—Eleanor Parker
April 9-10
“YELLOW CAB MAN”
Red Skelton—Gloria de Haven
April 16-17
‘TWELVE O’CLOCK HIGH”
Gregory Peck