Newspapers / Lexington High School Student … / April 21, 1950, edition 1 / Page 4
Part of Lexington High School Student Newspaper / About this page
This page has errors
The date, title, or page description is wrong
This page has harmful content
This page contains sensitive or offensive material
Page 8 THE LEXHIPEP Friday, April 21, 1950 A SAPP’S FIBBLES By A SAPP He was seated in the parlor And he said unto the light: “Either you or I, old fellow. Will be turned down tonight.” PICNIC Upon this theme I’ll briefly touch: Too far To go To eat Too much. When girls put on their spring guise, They’re looking for fall guys. Sweaters for girls Come in sizes that fit: Little and large. And “I don’t believe it.” Wives are the women that men are always in church with. . ’Two old maids went for a tramp in the woods. The trampi escaped. A young lady after a broken engagement returned all the gent’si letters marked, “Fourth Class Male”. Her face is her fortune—and it runs into a nice figure. An old timer is a guy who can remember the days when a woman stayed home if she had nothing to wear. Speeches are like steer horns—a point here, a point there, and a lot of bull in between. Lawyer, reading client’s last will and testament to circle of expectant relatives: “And so, being of sound mind, I spent every darn cent I had before I died.” Cowboy: What kind of a saddle do you want—one with a horn or without? I ITiere doesn’t seem to be much traffic on these prairies. All the animals came to the ark in pairs—except the worms. They came in apples. The modern girls dress to kill—cook about the same way. Then there was a bitter golf match between two Scots under a broiling sun in which one of them had a stroke and the other made him count it. Cop: Hey, Jones, where are you going at four in the morning? Jones (turning in his driveway): To a lecture. The father’s tone of voice was severe. “Young man,” he said, “do you think you should be taking my daughter to night clubs all the time?” “Indeed not!” the boy answered, then he added hopefully, “Let’s try to reason with her.” Reporter: I’ve got a perfect news story. Editor: How come? Man bit a dog? Reporter: No, but a hydrant sprinkled one. DAFFY DEFINITIONS Golf: A good walk spoiled. Meteorologist: A man who can look into a girl’s eyes and tell whether. Conscience: Something that feels terrible when everything else feels swell. Modern bathing suit: Two bandanas and a worried look. Alimony. The high cost of leaving. Gambling: A way of getting nothing for something. Punctuality: The art of guessing correctly how late the other party Is going to be. Bill: Do you believe in clubs for women? Will: Yes, if every other form of persuasion fails. The trouble with being best man at a wedding is that you don’t have a chance to prove it. Mr. Clark: “The earth is known to be round, and it hangs in the air without support. Millie, tell the class how you prove it.” “Millie”: I don’t have to prove it. I never said it was. Burglar: Please let me go, lady. I never did anything wrong. . Old Maid: Well, it’s not too late to learn, Fun is like insurance—the older you get, the more it costs. Mrs. Lewis: Give me a definition for a pedestrian. Don Hege: A pedestrian is a car owner who has found a parking place. WILSON^S GROCERY Winston Road Phone 2402 DELIVERY SERVICE FRED THOMPSON, Inc. Michael-Stern Clothes Jarman Shoes DICK’S DRY CLEANERS LEXINGTON’S BEST PHONE 444 37 East First Avenue FAMILY SHOE CENTER LEXINGTON, N. C. Industrial Bank Of Lexington Development Building Loans Made to Both Men and Women MEMBER F.D.I.C. Fry Electric Co. Lexington’s Oldest Electrical Contractors PHONE 517 East First Avenue LEXINGTON DRUG COMPANY Lexington’s Prescription Drug Store for Over 51 Years Same Management GREEN PRINTING COMPANY Blue Horse School Supplies PHONE 543 Lexington, N. C. O. L. EVANS MOTOR CO. “We Can Fix Your Car Like New” Comer Main and West Second Sts, Piedmont Furniture Co. “YOU FURNISH THE WIFE; WE FURNISH THE HOME” PHONE 2368 NORTH MAIN STREET Sat. Late Show — Sun.-Mon. April 23-24 “MA & PA KETTLE GO TO TOWN” with Maro,iorie Main & Percy Kilbride Start Saturday Late Show April 29 “FRANCIS” Sat. Late Show — Sun.-Mon. May 7-8 BING CROSBY AT BEST in “BIDING inGH” Sat. Late Show — Sun.-Mon. May 14-15 “THREE CAME HOME” with CLAUDETTE COLBERT MOVIES ARE BETTER THAN EVER
Lexington High School Student Newspaper
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
April 21, 1950, edition 1
4
Click "Submit" to request a review of this page. NCDHC staff will check .
0 / 75