Newspapers / Lexington High School Student … / March 2, 1951, edition 1 / Page 10
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Page 10 THE LEXHIPEP March 2, 1951 A SAPP’S FIBBLES By A SAPP Light Sentence Two convicts were discussing their prison sentences. First Convict: How long you in for? Second Convict: Oh, they gave me sixty days for killing my girl friend. First Convict: Sixty days! Is that all? Second Convict: Yeah. After that they hang me. Memories “Dear Clara,” wrote the young man, “pardon me, but I’m so forgetful. I proposed to you last night, but really forgot whether you said yes or no.” “Dear Will,” she replied by note, “so glad to hear from you. 1 knew that I had said no to somebody last night, but had forgotten who it was.” Fitting Comparison She: You remind me of the ocean. ■ He: Wild, restless and romantic? She: No; you just make me sick.” Well Laid Out Jean: Isn’t Lexington laid out prettily? Mary Jane: It’s laid out all right. How long has it been dead? College “Do you think your son will forget everything he learned in college?” “I hope so. He can’t make a living just making love to the girls.” Hypnotism and Marriage Willis: I was hypnotized last week. Nookie: What’s hypnotized mean? Willis: Why, to hypnotize is to get a man in yoiir power, and make him do anything you want. Nookie: That’s not hypnotism; that’s marriage. The Strategy of Handling People Amelia was driving in her new car when something went wrong with the engine. The traffic light changed from green to red and back to green and stilt she could not get the car to budge. The traffic cop came up. "What’s the matter. Miss?” he inquired. . “Ain’t we got colors you like?” Showers For the Groom “Daddy,” said Bobby, “don’t they ever give showers for the groom?” “No, son,” replied the dad; “there will be plenty of storms for him after the bride begins to reign.” Highly Competent A man of six feet eight inches applied for a job as a life guard. “Can you swim?” asked the official. “No,” said Freak, “but I can wade to beat the devil.” Considerate Joe: But I don’t think I deserve a zero. Mr. Clark: Neither do I, but it’s the lo\yest mark I’m allowed to give Collective Mrs. Hedrick: Name three collective nouns. Freak: Fly-paper, waste-basket and vacuum cleaner. Tsk Tsk! Salesman: Is your daddy home, sonny? Little Boy: No, sir. He hasn’t been home since mother caught Santa Claus kissing the maid. Problem Father: Isn’t it wonderful how little chicks get out of their shells? Son: What gets me is how they get in. The Egotist Swfcegood: I dreamed I was married to the most beautiful girl in the world. A Marie: Were we happy? Editor's Note: This column wos edited by Don Hoynes, next yeor's Joke Editor. UALITY FIRST ^ Compliments of COSTNER’S JEWELERS SMITH & FRITTS Sport and Dress Wear Bostonian Shoes DICK’S DRY CLEANERS LEXINGTON’S BEST PHONE 444 37 East First Avenue Compliments of the ARMY AND NAVY SURPLUS STORE Woodruff Shoe Store Fine Shoes and Hosiery THE J. F. WARD CO. Merchandise of Quality PHONE 2344 LEXINGTON, N. C. Compliments of BECK’S BARBECUE COMPLIMENTS OF HILL TOP FLORIST M. D. & Ruth B. Woodllef “FLOWERS WIRED EVERYWHERE” Phone 2846 — 963 South Main St. Compliments of PEOPLE’S DRUG STORE PHONE 2225 LEXINGTON DRUG COMPANY Lexington’s Prescription Drug Store for Over 52 Years Same Management Compliments of BELK . MARTIN SNACK SHOP TOASTED SANDWICHES Ice Cream and Frosty Malt FARMER’S HARDWARE COMPANY Hardware, Paints, Sporting Goods PHONE 519 GORDON MOTOR COMPANY Incorporated “Your Friendly Ford Dealer” Gordon Tractor Co. “Gets More Done”* PHONE 463 or 2448 MACK’S 5c, 10c & 25c STORE Sat. Late Show, Sun., Mon., March 4, 5 “KIM” Errol Flynn—Dean Stockwcll Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, March 11,12, 13 “BRANDED” Alan Ladd—Mona Freeman Sat. Late Show, Sun., Mon., March 18, 19 “PAGAN LOVE SONG” Esther Williams—Howard Keel Sunday, Monday, March 25, 26 “AT WAR WITH THE ARMY” Dean Martin—Jerry Lewis
Lexington High School Student Newspaper
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March 2, 1951, edition 1
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