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THE LEXHIPEP
March 2, 1951
If one has stuck one’s nose outdoors recently one would notice the hint
of spring in the air. (One might notice the third person use of “One,” too.)
Spring always brings romance to mind and speaking of sticking noses out,
we’ve done just that, so here’s the la.test as heard by grapevine and other
methods. '
We’d say there’s been a good looking addition to L. H. S. in the form
of Barbara Hunt from Leaksville.Uh oh girls! More competition, and there
aren’t enough boys to go around anyway!
What say, Susie?
Johnny Dixon ain’t no eligible bachelor no more.
You seem to be the cause of this change.
L. H. S. ’sho was well represented at Carolina’s German dances by Mary
Jane, “Teeny” and Betty Block. Betty, you were really rating! Two dates
to the same dance. This breaking of toes, too, sounds hke a good idea for
future use.
Why don’t “Claire” and “Skin” get on back together? It just doesn’t
seem right not to see them places together. How about ti?
Have you heard Joe Hooks playirig at the “Y” lately? We’re willing to
wager those drums were beating especially for Phyllis Breedon, who seems
to think that’s fine.
Hoyle Wagner has forsaken Midway, it looks like to us. Most of his
time is spent with “Hinge” these days, and he couldn’t spend it on a cuter gal.
One of the cutest couples brightening up the old halls these days is Jean
Story and John Kepley.
These triangles always prove to be interesting, and one of the latest is
the one concerning Curtis Williams, who thinks “Dolly” Craven is the best
—“Dolly” keeping quiet on the subject, and Jimmyetta Redwine, who has her
heart set on Curtis. May the best one win.
We were lucky enough to hear, as we passed by them in the halls, a
crowd of eighth grade gals discussing the merits of men. Upon closer ex
ploration, we discovered that two of the cutest, Tilly Beck and “Nonie”
Smith, are men-haters! What has turned their hearts stoney we don’t know,
but we bet there are some mighty lonesome boys because of their opinions.
These eighth graders are really getting ahead in the world. Joe Sink
and “Pud” Sechrist, Bobby Timberlake and Dotty Lopp, Eddie Cathell and
Page Sink are three cute couples in our humble opinions.
Seems as thought two gals we know are mighty lonesome, namely: Jean
Hall ’cause Jimmy Temple went to the Navy, and Molly Evans ’cause Jack
Safly chose the Army (rather, they chose him).
Whose classring has Jean Yarborough been wearing? No less than
Bob Richie, that good looking boy from Salisbury.
We noticed that Jerry Perkins has finally settled down. How about
that, Hilda?
We’re thinking Hayden Hooper has a leaning towards gals named
“Ann.” Say what?
It was heard the other day that Chasey misses Kathleen since she moved
to Thomasville. Been holding out on us, Chasey, boy.
Why doesn’t Bobby Grubb get a gal? There are plenty of girls who
would like to date him; and as cute as he is, he ought not to have any trouble.
Another cute steady couple always seen in the halls together is Nancy
Leonard and Tony Solomon.
We were sorry to hear about Barbara Higgins and Bobby Snyder break
ing up, but rumor has it that she’s not wasting any time. Her heart is set on
Statesville now.
What’s this we’ve been hearing about Betsy Stoner dating John Sink?
More power to you, John. She is one good-looking gal.
There are suddenly a lot of lonesome girls due to this old draft, namely:
Betsy Myers, who surely does miss Bob Greer, and Lois Ann minus Bill
Bailey; also, Anne Meachum, because Don Bishop has been in the navy for
quite a while.
Say, Archie Hames, you sho’ have a cute gal in Carolyn Morefield.
Good for you.
Freak, we hear you got a beautiful valentine from your two best gals.
Need we say more?
Betty Lou Whitt and Burke Giles are no longer eligible. This will come
as a surprise to many.
Richard Whisnant has added a new admirer to his list, and we hear he
has been taking advantage of it.
By the way, “Clum,” who’s this cute gal you’ve been dating in Raleigh?
Could it be Cecelia Montjoy?
There sure will be a lot of room in the halls for the next six weeks be
cause “Big Wag” is going to be in the hospital to have a knee operation. No
kidding, “Tiny,” we sure will miss you.
Suzanne Myers and Dick Taylor from Spruce Pine have broken up, we
were sorry to hear, but Suzanne had a fine time at the Carolina dances.
John Byron Lopp has many gals’ hearts a-flutter. J. B., why don’t you
break down?
Editor's Note: The gossip was written by Kirksey Sink and Marie Stokes, who will be
the columnists next year.
Next Patient, Please
—Alice Deese
If you’ve been feeling awfully bad.
For lack of health you have been sad.
If you don’t feel at all first rate.
Or you’re a victim of your fate.
Just take a look at what’s below;
You’ll feel better then, I know!
Symptoms Diagnosis
1. You smile during a You are crazy,
test,
2. You have water on You are a drip,
the knee.
3. You talk incessant
ly-
4. You are hungry.
5. You have royal
blue blood.
You were born under
the same star Nancy
Sechrist was.
You have been trying
to live off love.
You are a descendant
of a king or queen.
6. Your brain rattles. It is rusty.
Colorblind
You are probably
mosquito-bitten.
You have amnesia.
You are absent-
minded.
Cure
None
Don’t drink so much.
Make a speech in
Assembly.
Change your diet.
Peroxide and food
coloring in alternate
doses.
Lubricate it with ESSO
Standard Oil
Close your eyes.
Wipe ’em out with
Insect Spray
Freshen up with
“Seven-Up”
Pull yourself together.
7. You see red contin
uously.
8. You have an itchy
trigger finger.
9. You have just en
tered school house.
10. Your mind is a
thousand miles
away.
SPRING FEVER
It isn’t my intention to frighten anyone, but it is only fair to warn you
about this terrible epidemic that’s going around these days. This dreadful
sickness is extremely contagious; in numerous cases it is conveyed from one
victim to another by a mere flutter of an eyelash, a friendly smile, or eve^ a
wave of the hand. Since there is no inoculation for it and conditions arq so
favorable for its development, everyone suffers from it sooner or later, and
all efforts to avoid it have, thus far, been absolutely futile. For, despite one’s
resolute resistance, his heart soon becomes a villainous mutineer, and he is
helplessly ensnared by that invincible force commonly known as “Spring
Fever”.
Tn its early stages. Spring Fever is a somewhat critical condition of the
heart characterized by a quickening of the pulse, insomnia, loss of appetite,
and incessant daydreaming, usually accompanied by a noticeable effort to
improve in personal appeaarnce and charm. Following these developments,
the unfortunate victim generally gets stardust in his eyes and becomes virtually
blind to practically everything except the individual who happened to be
nearest him when h was stricken; and, what is more embarrassing, every time
the victim sees or hears the name of that person, his face takes on a brilliant
glow which varies from a delicate pink to deep purple, depending on the
severity of his immediate attack.
Even after summoning all my medical knowledge and skill I still cannot
offer much assurance concerning one’s likelihood of survival, once his heart
strings have been pulled. I can offer absolutely no medicine to help you
recover; even Hadacol is powerless. But after a reasonable duration of time,
most of the pain ordinarily disappears, though in all probability it will copiq
back again at certain intervals. However, if one’s fever is not nipped in the
bud by Ole Man Jack Frost or cooled by winter’s chill breezes, the case might
well be fatal.
To all you unafflicted lassies and lads I issue this last word of warning:
Spring js iust around the corner, and Cupid is on the rampage with plenty
of ammunition, doing some very commendable target practice every day!
Editor's Note: This column was written by next year's Feoture Editor, AKee Deese.
Lois' Lingo
lips.
Inquiring Reporter
What would you do if somebody gave you a zuccadodezlabros?
Gary Everhart—name it “The Thing”
Miss Jennings—Runn!!!
Sarah Williamson—sit and look at it
Marie Everhart—eat it
Frank Koonts—see if it would be good for my c old
Glenn Smith—keep it!
Kitty Philpott—give it to Coach Bowen
Janet Brown—put it in Millie’s car
“Cootie” White—give it to Uncle Sam in place of me
Jean Hall—let the infant^ have it
Mary Jane Shirley—mail it to Dillon
Marian Rowe—save it
According to Mr. Webster, zuccadodezlabros means—a kiss on the
Could This Be Possible?
Phyllis Breedon—a brunette
Miss Jones—teaching physical ed.
Don Purdee—short and fat
Sue Everhart—the quiet t ype
“Cootie” White—being skinny
Joan Kearns—not using big words
“Millie” Leonard—graduating