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THE BRIGHTEIt SIDE By Lawrtnce McDougie
Once an old nitin claEnod to have certain
symptons, he v;ent to the* doctor, and
among otiier personal quv=stions the
aoctor askea him:
Dc/Ctor: "George, how are your kidneys'”'
Gt^orge: "V^ell, Doc,, some of th-n is
grown up and married."
hife to ht.r husband—"Torn, wake up, I
hear a voice dowan stairs!"
Sleepy husband-"allright go to sleep.
I'll oil it in tilt morning."
Baxter: "Do you ^ver chas^ women?"
Ito\vdy: "Lots of thL.m. "
Bajcter: "Say I didn't know" you were
that kind of a guy, adventurer,"
Rowdy: "I'm not, I aia a bouncer at a
night club."
Sargeant: "Yardbird! Orders are from
headquarters that you stay on tnat
horse and ride him."
Yardbird; (with a salute) "Yc;s sir, but
the horse gave me orders from hind
quarters,"
0
Wife to husband—"Come nerc Joiin,
the baby has cut a tooth,"
ilusband angry-""Listen Mary, 1 have told
you about leaving the butcher knif.^ around
on the table."
0
V.'itty Landlady: "Indeed! By the v/ay,
how did you like the steak?"
\«itty Boarder: "rtli, your steak is like
the v-eather evening, madaia—rather raw,"
Witty Lcindlady; "Youb board bill is
liKe the v?eather-too unsettled,"
0
Boss: "I noticed there were 35,000
people present on the afternoon your
grand/aothiir v/as buried."
Office Boy: "(rising to the occasion)
"I couldn't swear to that, sir, but
grandma was always popular."
0
GOLDIE BURViELL playing basketball
JUaNITrt RQBEPSoN singing on Broadi?hy,
JOHN vi/ILLIAiC as a great clarinet
player like artic Shaw,
JU/iNITh TWITTY'dancing on the screen,
DELIa SCOTT teachini Chemistry.
WILLl^I QUINITOHETTE's iinir being
as short as Henry Iloore's,
E.I/U1 BUIilfiJELL .'is short as Elcise
Cooper,
0
SUGGjlSTIVE Hh.IES 01' STUDENTS
By lielvin Burt
We have a-
Henderson but no city
Green but no turnip
Poole but no water
Taylor but no cloth
Gumbs but no teeth
Wright but no wrong '
Brook but no streiim
Jordan but no river
Small but no large
Rainey but no cloudy
Baskett but no eggs to put in it
ChristiTicis Carol but no singer
Hunt but no gun
Young but no old
lii'ills but no lawyers
John Brown but no raid
Sheild but no sword
''alla-r but no runner
'Gray but no hound
Crews but no ships
Kittreil 'but no college
•Ding but no Crosby
Hill but no ^mountain
Terry b\it no fox
Gales but no hurricane
Rice but nt. coff(:e
Knott but no bow
Plummer but no sink
'^ill but no fish
Armstrong but no Louie
IIoss but no rock
Nelson but no Eddy
Smith but no black
ifiller and a i/Ulls but no flour
Patrick but no Henry
Steed but no horse
Peace but ve do have a war.
-0-
INUGINE
ALFRED P/iTRICK staying avjake in class,
DA\fID Wlil^ being as tall as JOHN BROWN.
J.A.ILS P.aSCHaLL being as stout as
CLaRENCE iWiGROVE.
IRIS TrtYiDR exchanging size with
rtRCELIa BRYaI'JT .
Lrtti/REI'IGE McDOUGLE Playing football,
WILBERT KI'ilGHT Jiaking 4 D4s.
W. T. DaVIS going vath ./ILLDRED STRIDER,
JaCK THR0\jER loving lURIE JOKES.
There is a difference between talent
and genius. Talent does what it caii;
genius w'hat it inust. But it is the
little more that makes the difference.
0 Stlected
rtll things I thought I knew; but
no\v confess the more I know,I know
the less,-Owen,