May, 1977
mCH UFE
Pages
General Chaos
Mew staffs.as comtOo^
•HlGr+4 life ?) ?
By Cindy Ward
In the last exciting episode of
GENERAL CHAOS, Grimsby,
Smiff, and Mudley students were
in the process of taking over the
school board. The Caged students
(they’re all animals you know)
finally helped to overthrow the
school board when they caught on
as to what was being done.
Back at Grimsby, there was the
problem of what to do with all the
captives in the dungeon. Some
were put to work, such as Mr.
Topple, and his hall cleaning
detail.
Any teacher, principal, or other
person would be released if they
promised to do as they were told.
Persons caught disobeying were
sentenced to walk through the
boy’s restrooms on a hot day, one
month of the cafeteria food, and
two weeks of logarithms, word
problems, proofs, parabolas, and
quadratic equations from 1:45
p.m. until 5:00 p.m. while the rest
of the teachers and administra
tion enjoyed a trip to the beach.
It was nearing the end of
school, and Billy Botch still had
not finished rebuilding the main
building. The students never
went to class anyway, but that
was beside the point. Finally a
building contractor finished off
with the main building.
Each room was furnished with
velvet covered easy chairs,
carpet, color television, and an air
conditioner. Things on the
waiting 1 list 1 included quadra
phonic stereos, micro-wave ovehs
and fully stocked refrigerators.
Blackboards were abolished, as
were chalk and erasers. Algebra
and chemistry books were
permanently banned because
Herr Klaus-baby, Grimsby’s
swinging Deutsch Lehrer, went
through all of them and added
words that would shrivel the ears
of many of the angelic students
attending Grimsby High.
The main hall was a free-for-all
containing among several items,
a pool table, ping-pong table,
television tennis games, and a
mini basketball court.
With Jimmy Bravo as the
chairman of the school board,
students did not even come to
school, but if they did, they need
not have feared exams, tests, or
pop quizes.
Lunch could be enjoyed at
Darryl’s 1977 right on campus,
and skipping either fourth or sixth
periods to squeeze in extra eating
time was mandatory to pass
whichever course the students
chose to cut.
One by one each of the teachers
and principals were released from
the dungeon to teach a brand new
range of courses, that had never
been taught anywhere before.
Herr Klaus-baby volunteered
to teach a course on German food
analysis, among several other
things.
Mrs. Siller was teaching a
course on how to disect a worm
without actually touching it. This
course was especially popular
with the Fishing Club.
Mr. Hazelnut designed a
course to teach students how to
play the “Star Spangled Banner”
by clipping a stiff piece of paper
to a bicycle frame and pedaling
like crazy to produce a loud
clicking noise.
Mrs. Thin-n-Crispy cooked up a
course on how to make pizza from
left over lint from closet floors,
crumbled up school burgers, and
old chewing gum scraped from
desks and dyed yellow to
resemble cheese. This recipe was
reminiscent of the cafeteria’s old
days under the school superin
tendent, Dr. Louse. Free samples
of this delicious dish may be
obtained in Room 402 (fourth
floor of the main building).
Mrs. Barbell, a biology
teacher, was assigned to teach a
course demonstrating twenty-five
different methods of stabbing
oneself to obtain a blood sample
for the purpose of typing it, and
finding the RH factor.
The most interesting of all the
new courses was the one being
taught by Mr. Squirt Whizzbit, a
history teacher. His students
learned how to swindle Welfare,
be payed Social Security by age
twenty-one, and more than a
hundred ways to drive the U.S.
Government up the wall, all from
a few pamphlets from Public
Documents Distribution Center.
These are only a few of the
excellent courses being offered
next year at Grimsby. So watch
out next year’s Sophs, we
wouldn’t want you to get into
anything too far above your
heads.
Torchlight Iniducts
Forty Members
The Spring inductions for the
Torchlight Chapter of the
National Honor Society took place
Thursday, May 5, in the Grimsley
Media Center at 7:30 p.m.
The program began with a
musical selection, J.S. Bach’s
“Airs”, performed by John Cary,
Kathy Cary, Marta Janke, and
John Quillin. Laura Lomax,
president of the Torchlight
Chapter, then described the
National Honor Society, and Lisa
Morrison explained the Torch
light Chapter. The qualifications
of the Honor Society (knowledge,
scholarship, service, leadership
and character) were symbolically
represented by lighted candles.
The induction of new members
was followed by a reception.
The senior inductees were:
Duane Becker, Richard Biller,
Keith Black, Harold Bradley,
Kathryn Cary, David Dom, Carol
Eddy, Amy Fleisher, Charles
Kelly, Bruce McCreedy, Susan
868 IS THE PLACE
McGlamery, Amy Stapleton,
Steve Theriot, and David White.
The junior inductees were:
Martha Alspaugh, Kathy Ander
son, Douglas Baker, Rober*
Bingham, Greg Brownstein, Kim
DeCoste, Donna Fultz, Beth
Grantham,'Carol Gronick, Marcie
Hartgrove, Karen High, Amy
Lore, Rona Marco, Sarah
Martinelli, Sandra Neustrel,
Roger Schickedantz, Derek Sims,
Eleanor Smith, Elizabeth Stamey,
Amanda Stephens, Melissa
Stephens, Kendall Suh, Elyn
Sykes, Beverly Waddell, Laura
Wolfe, and Scott Yost.
The Grimsley Chapter of the
National Honor Socity is
significant in its venerability as it
is the oldest chapter in North
Carolina. Of the approximately
20,300 branches of the National
Honor Society in the United
States, Grimsley’s Chapter was
the 73rd chartered, having been
established on November 1, 1922.
By Carol A. Eddy
Throughout the past year.
HIGH LIFE has written on almost
everything! But what about HIGH
LIFE? It’s time we let everyone in
on just who the crazies hiding in
room 868 actually are. So, here’s
a typical day in the life of HIGH
LIFE.
HIGH LIFE lives in room 868.
Note that this room is hidden in
the farthest corner of the
vocational building. It’s right
above Mr. Parrish’s Studio
Theatre. We understand that
both HIGH LIFE and the Drama
Department have been separated
from the rest of the school
purposely. We separate ourselves
from each other.
Approach 868 slowly! At any
moment someone might have a
brainstorm (if we can find a brain
up there) and 868 will explode. Be
sure to notice the sign on the door
warning students not to enter
without a note from another
teacher and if you’ve still got the
nerve, come right in.
Now you’re in Ms. Sroog’s Zoo.
It’s an innovative place — we’ve
removed the bars. And, as long as
the animals feed the zoo-keeper,
everything will be all right, so the
animals conscientiously remem
ber her feeding times.
Naturally, Dr. Bu, our own
David Bulla (and HIGH LIFE’S
Feature editor), who comes
equipped with a number of
miscellaneous disease cures, is
seated in the keeper’s place of
distinction. He remains there
until role is taken today,
scattering his books around and
promoting insanity. Then he
makes his move...toward the elite
door.
The black door announces
HIGH LIFE STAFF in gold letters
and entrance is by invitation only.
What goes on behind those doors
can never be disclosed under any
circumstances. (That’s why HIGH
LIFE reporters and others take
the fifth). Put mildly, to write
about it would destroy the high
principles established by HIGH
LIFE (and especially. Bench-
warmer). In THE ROOM, behind
the elite door, the seniors are ■
sitting around as usual. Gary
“the kid” Sue...slower than an
ant, weaker than a feather, it’s a
bird, it’s a plane, its its...super
bum. Gary’s purpose on staff is
still under question considera
tion. Stretched out close by is
Billy Tsintzos, our Sports Editor,
who rules with an iron hand; he
complains when articles are late.
Billy lives to drive the zookeeper
mad. His highest goal is to put
Tahiti and Colombia side by side
so he can strut down the middle.
Chief Strutter is David Bolton.
He’s running for Mr. Sex Object.
As a little warning, a David
Bolton has never been defined.
Lee Evans, HIGH LIFE Editor,
gives regular lessons in slacking
off and any attending students
immediately flunk for having the
initiative to appear. John
Cauble’s back in THE ROOM,
too. But we can’t say what he
does! It would ruin his reputation-
and HIGH LIFE’S too. Let’s just
say that John is beyond words!
And, on any given day I’ll
probably wander back into the
room and plop on a table, but
there’s no way I’ll ever reveal the
truth about myself.
Right about now we can follow
Lee out into the classroom, where
he sees Ellen Mitchell, who has
collapsed in a corner, as usual
and is looking spaced.
Anyway, Leigh Cagle is sitting
nearby, like our own Cheshire
cat, waiting to get her hands on
John Cauble. Oh, Sandy
Pleasants is just leaving to do
something or other. It’s rumored
that she leaves a lot better than
she does something or other. 1
wouldn’t know.
Step back...here comes Steve
Theriot, looking cutsie in his gym
shorts. (Steve’s taking strutting
lessons) Sixth period, Steve and
Charlie Brown barricade them
selves in THE ROOM in order to
prevent aspiring journalism lA
students (looking for a good time)
to infiltrate from blundering in
from the classroom. Steve and
Charlie are serious partying
people who just can’t seem to
make it for the regular seventh
period class.
And our own ‘action reporter’,
Lisa McDowell, is stretched out,
sipping on a coke, and being cool,
while the time slowly passes by.
Hank Howard, as usual, is
worked up over something or
other, zooming around with
energy...a lost art our own artist
rediscovered. Cindy Ward and
Sara Gramley are...do 1 dare
write such a profane word?...
working. That four-letter word is
one never uttered aloud by HIGH
LIFE seniors.
Susan McGlamery, the only
HIGH LIFE senior allowed to take
on responsibility, messes around
with the books ... maybe that’s
why we never seem to know if we
have any money. Then again, we
must remember that she wrote
the bestselling book. The
Biological Clock and How To Be
Slack, as an APE primary paper.
Somehow, 1 almost missed the
opposite corner. Floating around,
munching french fries and
drinking cokes, are Cindy
Caveness and Kathy McEachern.
They don’t dare move for fear of
falling, unless of course it’s time
to cut loose. When asked politely,
they may give Space Cadet
lessons, but they’re more
interested in beginning and
ending picnics.
Opposite Kathy and Cindy,
Davey Ottinger is desperately
trying to be another Billy
Tsintzos. There’s only one
■ Tsintzos, so Davey’s blowing his
attempt at being cool. Davey’s
supposed to be a photographer
and so is Terry Williams. As a
result of the miracles achieved in
animal education, Terry now
knows what a camera is. Soon
he’ll be taught how to use one.
Until then, his purpose on HIGH
LIFE is questionable.
Oh, look who just wandered in,
our own Thad Damkoehler. Poor
Thad thinks he’s Cassanova and
tries to charm all of the female
staff members. He has yet to
succeed with any of them and we
doubt he ever will.
Curtis Fields, oblivious to all
activity, is sitting in the center of
the room. He has been sentenced
to a life of drawing cartoons and
won’t go up for parole until June
10. It’s doubted that parole will
be granted even then.
Last to be mentioned of the 868
bums is John Stevenson. Once I
discovered the truth about John.
It’s all related to a famous
Grimsley magnolia tree, but
there’s not enough space to go
into the sorted details here.
Since I’ve been asked almost a
dozen times. I’ll make it official;
it’s almost 3:20. “Time to stroll,”
in the words of the illustrious
Billy Tsintzos. For the sports
staff, including Billy, the need to
discuss sports with the coaches is
now essential to the life of HIGH
LIFE. Good bye. And our three
bus drivers, John Cauble, Terry
Williams, and Thad Damkoehler,
are struck by a sudden longing for
their buses ... insatiable desires
draw them away from 868.
Finally, 3:30 rolls around and the
few remaining honest souls lock
up the zookeeper and escape into
the world, pretending that they
know nothing of HIGH LIFE or
each others’ stay in the zoo.
I suppose the final question is,
just how does this organization of
crazies put out a newspaper?
Maybe next^year ...
For now all of us seniors are
strolling away forever.
Personals
A.F. - Hows J.W. & J.D. doing?
Terry: Scott eat dirty Kitty
Litter
Rusty: Lynn sniff derly sweat
socks
E.H., R.O., A.H., - lock the
doors - C.H.
R.H. - Two suitcases?? sis
S.S. - ILYA! T.H.
Martye - Remember the guys at
Pizzaville?? Terri
Kathi Sroog
Watch out for RAY!! B.F.,
C.F., C.P., J.D., L.S., S.B., S.J.,
TO’C., G.O.E., J.E., S.K., B.K.,
and Chief Swing!
Quill and Scroll
By Leigh Cagle
Quill and Scroll, the interna
tional honor society for high
school journalist, will be having
inductions for five new students
from the HIGH LIFE and
WHIRLIGIG staffs on
The new members, chosen by
Misses Sroog and Metzger, are
Cindy Ward, Sandy Pleasants,
Lisa Claudon, Sarah Martinelli,
Nelson Burke, and David Stewart.
Each inductee will receive a pin
and a subscription to a monthly
magazine that is published by the
honor society; the magazine
contains helpful pointers and
advice in the field of journalism.
All members of Quill and Scroll
must be rising juniors or seniors
in the top fifth of their class,
which is ,5, grade point average of
3.2 or better. Each student must
have done outstanding work.
After they are recommended by
their advisors, the students must
be approved by the Executive
Secretary of the Society.