Newspapers / Grimsley High School Student … / April 3, 1978, edition 1 / Page 5
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Monday, April 3, 1978 FRIED LIFE Page 5 Marcia McBonehead proudly dis-v plays a rose given to her by one of her many suitors. The time of the year to hand out awards to the students of Grims- ley has come. Congratulations to the following who have made our school something to be proud of. Cynthia McNeil received the “Cosmopolitan” award for best dressed student of the year. Mark House received the “Joseph Cali- fano” award for lowest nicotine consumption. The ‘dwarf award went to Steve Ratliff for his extremely small frame. The Academy Awards WIN-A-DATE GUYS! Here’s your one chance in a life time to win a date with Marcia McBonehead, one of the foxiest ladies on campus. Marcia, who is the cute girl-next-door type must keep her weight down because of her brilliant modeling career with K-Mart. You will not want to miss an evening gazing into her clear eyes or Being melted by her dazzling smile. Just imagine tak ing her curvaceous body into your arms and kissing her goodnight. Marcia has an entertaining per sonality despite her sometimes grave disposition. Here’s how to enter this temp ting contest: 1) Go to the new science building and pick up an applica tion. 2) Write a ten word essay on why YOU should be the lucky guy to date Marcia. 3) Collect three items (grave dirt, wilted lillies picked from a fresh grave, and her favorite 45, “The Monster Mash”) and deli ver them to her house on 13 Coffin Way. 4) Be prepared to rent a shiny black hearse, chauffer included, from Hertz to escort Marcia on the date. 5) Wear English Leather after shave. . . she’ll just die!! “Miss Wallflower” award was given to Leigh Ann Blowe for her lonely nights spent at home. Brian Smith was nominated for the “Visine” award for his clear, white eyes. Wayne Earley re ceived the “Six Million Dollar Man” award for strongest stu dent, while the “school marm” award went to Ms. Kathi Sroog (alias Ebenezer Scrooge), Grims- ley’s most prudent teacher. Tam my Murrelle received the “Bionic Woman” award for her statu esque features. Verlee Parrish w as voted most likely to get lost in j crowd. Jon Zimmerman was lucky enough to receive the “Low I.Q.” award for intense density. And John Wooten received the “demolition derby” award for his superb, safe driving. The Model Student award was given to Laura Hoppongh for her undivided attention in class. Mr. Saunders, meanwhile, was given the “Pigpen” award for the sloppiest classroom. Eric Snm— mers received the “tank” award for his immense obesity. The Hell Raiser award went to Hank Howard for his extremely disrup tive manner. And the ’‘Kojak” award was received by Greg Seagraves because of his sexy, tanned scalp. Bryn Pike was voted to receive the “Flying Nun” award for her record-breaking survival and journey in outer space. Lizzie Barlow, received not only an award but a research grant from “Duke Power for her electrifying new hair-do.” Steve Ritchie re ceived the "Armstrong” award for the longest continuous flight through space. The “Perry Ma son” award was given to Mike Kiorpes for the most frequent appearances in court. Eric Lowell was given the “Conscientious Observer award for his pacifistic attitude in ROTC. Debra McCoy was given the “Golden Croak” award for her attempted screech- Steve ‘‘DwarT’ Ratliff bends ing. Rusty Young was voted the \ down to accept his trophy at the most likely to trip over his 'recent awards ceremony, shoelaces. Photo by ‘Big Red’ Bicknell by Little Devil Dolin “No one know's what goes on behind closed doors,” should be the saying plastered upon class room 407 in the old Science building of Mrs. Joyner’s English classes. As one hesitantly enters Mrs. Joyner’s classroom, the mouth, little by little, drops toward the floor in total awe. While still in awe, one gazes at the atrocious potpourri scattered throughout the room. If one were to be a new student enrolled in Mrs. Joyner’s English class, she might just walk^ by and quickly plop a curious looking animal into one’s lap. This odd-looking creature wears a hand-knitted, Grimsley-blue, sweater with a large, white G centered in its middle. In addition to this, it wears a Duke toboggan, a black collar, Levi’s jeans, , white-polished baby shoes, and a red and white button that reads “Wait till tomorrow’’ on it. This almost human creature is found to be none other than Animals Come Alive Mrs. Joyner’s famous “Snoopy G.” This is just one of the many creatures that totally cover Mrs. Joyner’s room. Just to give one an idea of her room, imagine yourself sitting in a zoo of loose animals running wild. Her ani mals seem to make one feel as they’re alive! There are multi-colored puppy dogs sprawled over book casps. Champagne-colored bunny rab bits hopping over the floors, pink, purple, and green elephants tromping along the chalkboard ledge, chickens hatching upon the walls, sad, brown-eyed lions lurk ing near the desks, rainbows shooting through the chalkboard, hippopotomuses grazing on the podium, orange and green polka- dotted giraffes resting on a pink Kleenex box, butterflies prancing through the room, and on top of all this, there are loads of posters smothering practically every square inch of the walls! In observing the atmosphere of her room, the first question that might come to one’s mind is, “How do her students even try to concentrate on their studies with all this commotion’ going on in the room?” Well, Mrs. Joyner feels that after the first few days of her class, the potpourri of the classroom just settles in as a warm and “homey” atmosphere. “It shows the students that I care for each one of them,” says Mrs. Joyner. She uses her animals in demonstrating grammar uses and such which in turn makes her students interested in their Eng lish studies. GHS Competency Test Girls 1] If you were a Women’s Libber would you: A) Come to your senses and realize that male superiority will defeat you B) Elect male chiefs so the organization will go smoother C) Quit, and become a home maker D) All of the above 2] If your poor boyfriend was broke would you: A) Pay for all dates B) Pay for gas only C) Dump him and laugh at him D) Refuse to talk to him and deny ever speaking to him 3] If your boyfriend hated you, would you: A) Love him anyway, even though he called you “Extremely fat and ugly with pimples” B) Hate him back, to show you could hate more C) Throw rocks at him D) Torture him 4} If you and a friend were driving and a Mack truck hit you in a head on collision would you: A) Scream B) Grunt C) Hope your parents wouldn’t be angry D) Die Boys 1] If your best friends were stuffing eggs in their ears would you: A) Be one of the crowd and do it too, even though you didn’t like eggs B) Refuse to do so without salt C) Refuse and explain the high cholesterol content of the eggs D) All of the above 2] If you were dreaming of the best looking girl in school and suddenly she asked you to pick her up for the upcoming basket ball game would you: A) Tell her to get lost B) Hang up on her C) Go to her as fast as possible D) Faint 3] If you were challenged to a drag race by a trans-AM and you had a ^‘49 Desoto would you: A) Tell him politely you don’t engage in childish activities B) Cali his bluff and drag him C) Admit that you were chicken D) Tell him that your father doesn’t approve of drag racing 4] If your girl were to suddenly become dangerously radioactive would you: A) Forget about her minor handicap and still date her B) Talk to her at long distances and blow kisses C) Laugh at her D) Get mad SOLUTION points for every answer Ten correct Girl 1. D 2. A 3. A 4. C Boy 1. A 2. D 3. B 4. B Mr. Mature Average Brat Baby ist grader Sophomore 70-80 50-60 30-40 20-30 10-20 0-10 But if you didn’t answer any at all you showed rare intelligence. Main Stall by He-man Howard Snoopy loves you! And he’s much closer to home than you think. No, not in the Sunday Comics Section, nor in the Peanuts Treasury. A Grimsiey version of the lovable Charles Schultz-based beagle has been inhabiting Room 407 .for quite some time now. He is Snoopy G, a senior A.P. English student who will never graduate because, “It ain’t my way of goin’ about things.” He and his friends, Gerome Giraffe, Seymour, Ella Elephant and Ari the Bear, (all English majors) inhabit the zoo-like atmosphere of their South campus room, basing their life philosophy on the im mortal quote, “1 don’t care.” Snoopy has already been of fered scholarships to the Ken-L- Ration Academy and the Milk Bone/Puppy Chow workshop, but has refused, noting, “the clouds are just too pretty today.” The seemingly lackadaisical pup has other achievements, however. He just last year became a Beagle Scout and is being considered as mascot of the Duke University basketball teqam. He is a cunning character and scores highly on all A.P.E. com positions. He was the first dog ever to score a 5+ on a primary paper. But not all of Snoopy C’s accomplishments are so respect ful. He is rumored to be a “dog-about-town”. A recent o- vered up scandal revealed a baby beagle. Snoopy S (S for sopho more), around Christmas. Some explain that this puppy, who also resides in Room 407 is a “little brother,” but if Snoopy G is as sly as he is supposed to be, that is hard to believe. So, Snoopy G will continue to breeze through Oedipns Rex, Lord Jim, and A Doll’s House, griping and complaining all the way, yet turning out superior compositions. And he’ll be there next year for you poor innocent A.P. English victims of tomorrow. Rest assured that as you walk into the first class of that course, you’ll see him perched up on a desktop wearing his “Joe Cool” outfit and his polarized Sunray lenses muttering, “Hey, What’s happening?”
Grimsley High School Student Newspaper
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April 3, 1978, edition 1
5
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