Page Pour High Life January 18, 1965 Censored Nonsense By Buddy Powell I congratulate Howard on mak ing the varsity basketball team as a sophomore, but he should try and remember which basket he is supposed to shoo-t at. Here are some names I left out last time. Pershing Carlton Columbus Wagoner Lester Chostner Harold Patterson Not only do boys have wild middle names, eh? Booe Pierce, Flenita, Adelaide Welder . . . Congratulations Cotton, I under stand you got an offer to play football at Guilford College. I think we should have Doug Clark’s combo for the Prom. If you agree, please say so through the suggestion box. I wish I had David Martinis ini tials. I’d monogram everything I owned. Bike supports the Whirlies how about you. Where have all the bomb-scares gone. The queen’s men have turned Pro now! They are going to re cord a new theme song for the “Beverly Hillbillies.” It's that Flat & Scruggs type training. Oops, I shouldn’t have said that. I might want to get a job with the FBI some day and now the Choral Dept, will tell them I’m unstable. Urp. Please excuse. I just saw George Stanton’s hair. Did you know that we have a cheerleader who smokes cigars. There is also one who smokes Half & Half. If I have to listen to the sched ule planning speech about Dri vers Training one more time I’ll scream. The pep band is a great asset to the games. This group is not sponsored by the band and these boys are doing this on their own. clap, clap, clap. Ipll ipMlii ■ ■i Pictured above is a victim of circumstances, madly study ing and preparing for those inevitable days, January 19-27. Examitis Strikes Fear In Hearts oi Countrymen Disaster Begins Diet Feet Become Inches BY JANE TURPIN When, upon urgent request from both my friends and ene mies, I stepped upon the bath room scales for the first time in three weeks, I was dismayed to witness a disaster. The little in dicator spun around twice and then the whole thing blew into thirteen billion little pieces. Af ter much contemplation and care ful drawing conclusions, I deter mined that the time was right for me to go on a diet. No one could eer know the trials and tribulations of a dietor, what he goes through to achieve his end. (or the lack of it along with the loss of weight concen trated in other areas of the anat omy.) Crash diets are ever pop ular—no sweets, no starches, no nothing but a bowl of dried prunes staring up at one every morning for a month. Do you know what it’s like having a bowl full of dried prunes staring up at you each and every morn ing at the breakfast table? It’s fruity, that’s what it is! And then for lunch, a slice of dried out toast—that’s ALL! Just one slice! No butter, no jam, no nothing— just one crummy piece of toast. If a dietor survives an accute attack of starvation, he is likely to be beaten and battered to death in that strange ritual known as exercising. One may buy all types of para phernalia designed to make him even more miserable than he is already with trying to carry a- round all that extra weight. Then, too, many dietors experiment on their own trying to discover new tortures for their somewhat over loaded bodies. For more than an era, men have removed pounds from the poster ior portion of the anatomy by beating it against stone walls or bouncing it along a cement floor. Even with all their trials and tribulations, most dietorg agree that a new. slimmer and trimmer figure is worth all the trouble, for who else can win by losing. BY JOHN TAYLOR Twice a year around GHS a phenomenon occurs which had be come a tradition at most schools. This phenomenon is called PFMTAFE; Or “Preparation for Mid-Term and Final exams. Exam preparation generally fol lows a set pattern. During the first stage of preparation a notice able difference can be observed in the lockers aroxmd school. They do not seem to sag as much from the weight of moth-eaten, dusty school books. At the same time a marked change can be observed in the physical form of the students. Many students suffer from the “Last Minute Cram Stretch.” No, this is not a dance. It is a condi tion resulting in elongation of the arm, which is caused by an over load of books near exam time. The second phase of PFMTAFE is the SFFS phase. (This means “Sacrifice Fun For Study”) Con versations such as the following can be overheard during this try- K 9 THE BOAR AND CASTLE Greensboro’s Most Popular Sandwich Shop Spacious Parking Ground West Market Street Ext. Blair and Johnson Tailors Repair and Alterations Men, Women, Children BR 4-7202 121 W. Market St. (Upstairs SCHOOL SUPPLIES PAPER BACK BOOKS WILLS BOOK STORE Friendly Shopping Center South Elm Street DATA GUIDES DICTIONARIES TRY TNIS TASTY CDMBINATION! 100% Pure Beef Hamburger, 12-oz Coke FRENCH FRIES ONLY 37C McDonald!!: Scary Events, Fun, Work Part o^ Christmas Job ing time . . . “Hey, let’s go drag the Castle.” . . . “Noi, I better not. I have to study for exams.” Or, “Hey, let’s go to the Jokers Fri day night.” “Naw, I have to study for exams.” Or, “Hey, let’s skip seventh period and go to Q-Ball.” “Okay, I never study diuring school anyway.” The last phase of preparation involves the SUANTS GBEL problem. (This abbreviation (?) means “Stay Up All Night To Study and Get a Bleary Eyed Look.”) This extreme product of examitis is usually manifested two or three days before exams start. Students stagger around seeing two of everything. Bags form un der eyes which are open with the aid of toothpicks. Tempers shorten as the studying time shortens and by E-Day, students are usually too tired to care whether exams are hard or not. Thus comes the clinching ques tion: Are exams worth all the studying you put into them? Well, if you value your future as well as your life, YES! By Vivian Ferguson Working in a department store is not as dull as one might think; almost anything can happen. A delivery may be sent to the wrong address or. even. worse, mailed to the wrong town. A shelf of china may be knocked over or, a dog may be found on the freight elevator. These events are rather com mon, hut some are hair-raising. For in stance, once an elderly lady fainted while riding an UP escalator; noone wos riding with or near her. Spellbound, the peo ple on the floor below stared as the limp body slowly moved up ward. Suddenly a man dashed up the moving steps and lifted her off as she neared the top. Some events are surprising. A few months ago, a slightly stunned but pleased sales girl watched Jayne Mansfield casually select and buy knee socks in eighteen colors. Another sales person helped a man select a peace-offer ing for his wife; thirty pounds of candy. At times it is hard to decide how to handle a situation, such as asking a person to either pay for merchandise or to leave it on the shelf before leaving the store. It is hard not to laugh when a little boy tugs at your sleeve and says that his mother is lost, but he does not mind be cause the Santa Claus in the toy department will take him to the North Pole. Apathy BY LIZ MORRAH The trees wept leaves that fell to earth, And they were gone, and no-one cared. Likewise the tears of man must fall When there is nothing left inside. For hate and love and good and bad Man should give grateful thanks. For only death is left to him Who ceases now to care. Life’s pages yellow like an old And faded hook with leaves all singed By candle flames and letters smeared By salty tears that dropped there on. Someday they’ll fall to earth like dying leaves, Cascade like raindrops falling to the ground. And no-one will be caring even then— No-one will be left. JANUARY CLEARANCE SALE GREAT SELECTION - FANTASTIC SAVINGSi AT BOTH STORES I SWEATERS: Our Complete selection is I Greatly Reduced 1 ALL ALPACAS: 100%, Regular Priced I To $25.00 I Now 18.50 I ALL LAMBSWOOL | ' Regular 15.95 now 12.44 | Regular 13.95 Now 10.44 | ALL DRESS AND SPORT SHIRTS | Regular 5.00 Now 3.75 | Regular 5.95 Now 4.45 I Regular 6.95 Now 4.75 j .. DRESS SLACKS: Our Complete Stock | Greatly Reduced For This Sale | !. Regular 10.95 Now 7.88 * Regular 13.95 Now 9.88 i Regular 16.95 Now 12.88 ALMOST EVERYTHING IS GREATLY REDUCED IN BOTH STORES OL U M JEFFERSON SQUARE AT 100 N. ELM STREET AND QUAKER VILUSE SHOPPING CENTER