Newspapers / Grimsley High School Student … / April 1, 2001, edition 1 / Page 2
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2 legit to quit low Life Thank gosh it’s Friday night! Un-Edit(ed)orial Letters to the Editor In order to save ink in writ ing this, I will only tell you that this letter is the Must- Print-(unprintahle) Letter- of-the-Year Dear High Life, Recently a disturbing trend has made itself apparent to me in your otherwise fine paper. You appear to be using ink to publish it. I real ize that I am in the minority, but I simply feel that in the already en vironmentally unstable times in which we live, the fragile earth mother cannot handle the added stress of ink usage by your paper. For this reason, 1 must ask that you do not print this letter, and pretend it did not come on a piece of paper printed with ink. In fact I would appreciate it if you fine people pre tended not to have heard of me. Furthermore, I am a giant fan of the Scottish pop group, the Bay City Rollers. Their complex juxta position of great harmony and po litically charged lyrics has made them my favorite musical act of all time. 1 also ride a razor scooter to and from my workplace, the Shakespeare Barn, where Shakespeare is performed by a group of fai m animals. So, in conclusion, please can cel my subscription and refund the remaining portion of my money. “Yhe Cat in the Hat:” Rated R for nudity, pornographic suggestion, vulgar message Dear High Life, Recently. 1 received the regis tration booklet for 2001-2002.1 no ticed a new course being offered at Grimsicy on Dr. Seuss literature. I investigated the syllabus for the class and found out much time would be spent on a certain book, “The Cat iti the Flat." I was appalled when I opened the most recent copy of Dr. Seuss’ so-called mas terpiece, “The Cat in the Hat.” I expected a whimsical tale of a boy and his faithful cat, something that the whole family could sit around the fireplace and read, some thing that mothers would not be scared to read to their children. In short, a book that would make people feel good about them selves. However, when I opened the book, I found a sickening col lection of lewd, smutty illustrations and vulgar prose. The book begins with two children, sitting inno cently and trying to think of a way to pass the time. Suddenly, a na ked cat with nothing on but a large striped hat appears, frolicking around and playing with several household items, engaging in a sultry romp around the house. Fur thermore, he continues to play around naked, rolling around in the snow, making a mockery of human moral and ethical standards. This book corrupts the values of the human spirit and everything good that we have worked for the past two thousand years. Why is Dr. Seuss writing for children? He would have better luck writing scripts for XXX movies and lines for phone sex operators. Yet the most shocking thing to me was that I did not even have to go to an Adult Book Store to get this book; it is available at the library, where little kids can openly access this pornographic garbage. Is there not enough sex and violence on TV? Is it too much to ask to have cats clothed in children’s books? Por nographic fits well in describing this type of trash. What kind of sick person would write a book like this? Must we subject students to a class at Grimsley that teaches about feline animals and their lusty romps with children? And we want to pre vent teenage pregnancy? This class will do nothing but encour age teens to live a freeloading, wild lifestyle. Nudist colonies will in crease their populations while the number of responsible adults dwindles. This class will simply be an excuse for students to prance around naked, except of course for the red striped hat. -Seu.ss haters anonymous Speak Out Who let the dogs out?? ■"- .V.. ^. . .v- y. ^ . i Internet graphic ‘Hoo...hoo hooo.” -One of the Baha men fi Iniernel graphic “If they let out one of my dawgs they gonna be roMin in the pearly gates.” -Tupac Shakur The Low Life Staff welcomes comments in the form of both letters and small, unmarked bills from students, faculty, and that guy who greets people at Wal-Mart. Letters should be dropped off in a discreet, unpopulated area. No funny stuff. The staff reserves the right to reject any letter that is too long, boring or even mentions the TV show “Moesha." The Low Life is produced on a secret isiand in the South Pacific where couples are tempted by washed upT.G.I.F. stars and Hammer's backup dancers. liditor in Chief: Amanda “did someone page Lamar?” Earp, Editorials: Sir Mix-a-Locke, No news is bad news: Emma "Nah, I’m only Bulgin’’’ and Machine Gun Kelly, And now for our features presentation: Allison “Its turtleneck season" Hannon and Warren “Let’s have a meeting” Kuhn, She’s a good sport about it: Jessica Gurvis/Breakdown Advertising Manager: D’ahlia gotta make fun of my name? Master of Funny Business: Emily The Swedish Chef- field, Photographer: A-lex with tha 20 inch rims Bruner, Staff Infections: Tha last Don-na, Osh-Kosh-be-Josh, Kate “heat it up till its Boylan”, that big guy who used to drive a truck, Lily Bow-Wow, Charlie “my sister really,./-ea/Zy likes meetings" Kuhn, The King, Sarah Sclarc-Shapiro (there’s nothing funny about this name), Max ta'Ke a.left Turn-er, Rachel “Women arc Weeks’’, Erin Wes(t) Cranford, (Abesnt from this list: Regina Sechter) Reporters: 0irk Digglar, Oompa-Loompa Marker, Tim “Mach 3” Norton, McReporter: McKenzie Clark Adviser: Kid ■■ w?-- Internet graphic ‘It wasn’t me.” ■Shaggy m “As long as they aren’t underclassmen, I don’t care who let them out.” -Ms. Green Go WhiHies! The AckeiTD^' Phone (336) 273-3656 Fax # (336) 273-3712 Greensboro Body Company SCOTT JOHNSON-Owner C. JIM PARR - Manager 117 South Church Street Greensboro, NC 27401 cmytrux l@worldnet.att.net
Grimsley High School Student Newspaper
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April 1, 2001, edition 1
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