ZION’S LANDMARKS.
85
the unpardonable sin ; I Trould try
to find out what it was, but could not;
I wanted to be convicted, as I did not
take that for conviction, but thought
it was the foreboding of what I must
gufier after death; and, 0! the
thought of being banished from God’s
peaceful presence, and from the glory
df His power forever, it seemed to
me that it was more than I could
bear ; I thought I was like Cain, my
portion was more than I could bear.
Sometimes I could not work, but
would run to the woods, cry and
pray, roll and tumble on the ground,
wringing my hands, and wishing I
had never been born. Sometimes I
would see the little birds in the trees
and wish I was one of them ; I thought
I was one of the most miserable be
ings on God’s earth ; I felt like I did
not have a friend in heaven nor on
the earth ; 1 saw I was a sinner by
nature as well ]as by practice, thaj
my depraved nature constituted me a
child of wrath; I thought that I was
ft vessel of wrath, fitted for destruc
tion. Sometimes I was afraid that
God would open the earth and swah
low me up, as he did Korah and his
company; I saw that every imagina'.
tion of my heart was evil. 0, how
I hated and abhored my poor deceit
ful heart; sometimes it would seem
to be as hard as a rock, and again, I
oould shed tears freely; I cried to
the Lord to have mercy on me a poor
lost, condemned sinner. I saw that
the Ethiopian could as easily change
his skin, and the leopard his spots,
fts I could change my condition before
God; I saw that unless the Lord
Jesus saved me, I should bo forever
gone; I saw there was salvation in
none other, that there was no other
Siame given under heaven whereby I
must be saved, and I would cry and
pray to Him to have mercy on me,
but it seemed to me that He would
*ot hear me. One day while pray^
ing to Him to have mercy on me, I
thought 1 heard Him say to me,
“‘depart from me ye cursed, into ever
lasting fire, prepared for the devil
ftnd his angels.” I thought I heard
the saints say, “Amen,” to my dam
nation. My tongue can never tell
my feelings at that time; while lay
ing prostrated on the earth, I thought
that my damnation was sealed; I ex
pected in a few minutes to be in hell,
to mingle my groans with the damned
forever ; but there was a resolution
in my^heart, to pray as long as I had
breath, and thus I went on in despair
ftnd distraction; some people who
saw me said that I was going deranged,
and no doubt I appeared so to them,
for I was so much distressed that I did
not know where to go or what to do.
Sometimes I was tempted to destroy
myself, but I knew if I did, that hell
would be my portion ; and, 0 ! how
afraid I was of that place; I was
afraid that God would suffer the devil
to take me off the earth alive, for I
did believe that I was the greatest
sinner upon the earth; I saw the
justice of God in my damnation, shine
as bright as a star ; I saw no way by
which I could escape the punishment
due my sins. One day while I was
laying on the earth weeping and
mourning over my condition, these
words of Scripture came to ray mind:
“therefore being justified by faith,
w'e have peace with God through our
Lord Jesus Christ.” My burden of
sin was all gone ; I arose from the
ground, I felt calm and serene; it
seemed like I viewed Christ on the
cross, and through His mediation
and intercession, had peace with God.
I felt like I was justified from all
things, which the law of Moses could
not do. Yet I did not take this for
religion at that time; I did not feel
happy enough to shout, I only felt
calm and easy, only having a hope
for a hope, believing the Lord would
bless me. This took place on
Wednesday before the third Sunday
in July, 1840. About twelve o’clock
‘that night I went to sleep; the next
morning when 1 arose every thing
seemed to have a different aspect to
what it did before I lost my burden
of guilt. Then I went on for several
days, not knowing where I was nor
what I was. I could not think I was
a Christian, because I had foolish and
vain thoughts ; I believed that a
Christian was perfect, soul and body,
but I saw that 1 was not perfect in
the ffesh ; I wanted my burden back
again, but could not get it, and one
day being in much trouble on account
of myself, I went to the woods to try
to pray for my burden again, but
while prostrated on the ground, the
Lord revealed his love to me ; again
I saw that it was the soul that was
born, and not the flesh. I then be-
lieved it was religion.
Brother Bodenhamer I will come to
a close. You can dispose of this as
you think best, and perhaps I will
write concerning my call to the work
of the ministry at some future time.
a: N. HALL.
Macon, Ga., \
•/
March 28th, 1869
Dear Brother Bodenhamer -
When we look around us and see so
much wickedness and idolatry among
the people; so many errors and
abominations propigated by the false
propboets of the day, we are ready
to ask, where is Zion ? Is she unit
If the elders
ed and diligent ?
Is she warring
A faithful witness will not lie :
but a false witness will utter lies.
agsaint these things ? Where are the
watchmen of the city ? Are they up
on the walls ? Are they blowing the
trumpet in Zion ? Are they sounding
the alarm in the mount ? Are they
warning the people ?
Surely the church should be united
in peace and love, in doctrine and
practice, in faith and ordinances.—
Surely she ought to be diligent in
duties, in good works, in knowing
and keeping the truth. Surely she
ought to war against these things,
lest they break down or get over her
walls, and disturb the peace of her
inhabitants. Surely the ministers of
the gospel should be upon the walls
of Zion, proclaiming the glad tidings
of salvation ; warning the church as
well as all the people, against these
things. Surely they ought to “cry
aloud and spare not” in proclaiming
and defending the truth, and in point
ing out and fighting against error.
It docs seem, my dear brother,
that when we consider that God is
the author of truth, we cannot be too
diligent in contending for it; and,
on the other hand, when we consider
that Satan is the author of error, we
cannot he too diligent in opposing it.
We should not let our respect for the
feelings of any individuals or sects
deter us from a faithful discharge of
our duties in this respect. If we
should fail to discharge our solemn
duties in this respect, we would not
bo faithful witnesses, nor obedient
embassadors. Paul, in his charge to
the elders of Ephesus, said, “where
fore I take you to record this day,
that I am pure from the blood of all
men. For I have not shunned to
declare unto you all the counsel of
God. Take heed therefore unto
yourselves, and to all the flock, over
the which the Holy Ghost hath made
you overseers, to feed the church of
God, which He hath purchased Avith
his own blood. For I know this, that
after my departing, shall grievous
wolves enter in among you not spar
ing the flock.” (Acts 20: 26, 27, 28,
29.) He also warned them against
some of their ojm number, who would
speak perverse things, to draw away
disciples after them.
of Ephesus should ^have observed this
charge, surely the elders of the pres
ent day should obser\m it. Then as
the elders love the truth, let them
contend for it; and as they hate er
ror, let them oppose it. They have
the truth as it is in Jesus, to proclaim
and defend, and they have the reli
gious errors of the day to oppose.—
They are to pi-each that Christ is the
way, the truth and the life, and deny
that the sinner has life of himself,
and can go half way without Christ.
They arc to preach that God is a
sovereign, and works all things after
the counsel of Ilis OMm aGII, and de
ny that lie can be influenced by the
action of men, and turned from His
purpose. They are to preach that
God has made choice of a people,
Avhom He will save by His own ap
pointed means, though men and devils
may oppose ; and they are to declare
false, that doctrine, M'hich claims
that the sinner must make the choice
himself, and get to heaven by his
own means. They are to preach
that God can and will, independent
of man and his means, save His peo
ple with an everlasting salvation, and
deny that He must be helped by man
and his means—such as Sunday
schools, Mi.ssionary~-B4fele-?J!!^Ts^e-
Societies, Protracted Meetings. &c.
In short they are to preach Christ as
all in all to the poor sinner, and
every thing else as false and anti-
christian. The church should guard
v/ell her portals, and keep out such
imposters as the apostle said would
rise and speak perverse things, to draw
away disciples after them. The
peace of the church was, for some
time, disturbed by these imposters,
about forty years ago. They spoke
“perverse things,” and said that it
was necessary, for the well-being of
tiio church, to let the institutions of
the day in, and being opposed, went
out from under the Divine govern
ment ; made plans of their own, and
drew many disciples after them. No
doubt many of God’s people were
then carried off in captivity, and no
doubt, many have since been carried
away into Lahylon. The church then,
should keep out all errors as well as
imposters, as she regards her own
peace, and try to keep all her chil
dren from being captivasted by any of
the false reports or flattering sermons
of the lying prophets. L(t the
church, which is declared to be the
silt of the earth, a city set upon a
hill, the light of the world, see that
Ur?