r
J
iO
ZION’S landmarks
ruaking and breaking promises and
getting worse and woj?se it ueemed
to Me; I novf begaa to. think with
out the help ot God I cannot live
many days longer and I desired that
b/hnatians siiould pray for me but 1
eould not tell theni' so at this tiincj,
tier I thought ! could- get religion
Without anybody knowing it;: so I
tried.many ways but all to no pur
pose and my prayers did me no
good. So. I went om im this way
Until tho first Sunday and Saturday
in July which w'as the regular time
of the Baptist meeting, and here ]
had a hard scuffle ^vhetl)er to go to
meeting or not, if I went I could
not ask the preacher to pray forme.
I decided, at last that I would go
and-ask the preacher to pray for me
privately, but after I got th«re,
there appealed to me a voice saying
you are m»t the mourner sjioken of
in the Bible, you better not ask the
preaclier to pray for you, you are
doing, ver^ well; before the preacher
was done preaching I tlionght my
oase was out.side of any one that I
heard of; I had heard people tell tfieir
feelings that I- thought were chris-
tian.s, that I eeuld partly witntss.
hut my case is out of the, reach of
mercy for-with all my trying,
fciii£!,.aRa g^ick^es5itdid'ft(V.A^^*’ ^
that there was no chance for me to
be saved, for the scriptures say tliat
God cannot look upon sin ivith the
least degree of allowance. She
then preashed Jeslls to me. Ids errand
into the world and his bitter death
and sufferings on the cross to redeem
ids people, and was huriedi and the
tldrdday arose to justify such poor
needy, lost and ruined sinners from
their sins. 1 can say with safety
that it was the best sermon I have
ever heard, she did' tell’me the ex
ercises of my mind for the last four
or five years. I do think that if
the fallow ground of my heart ever
was broken up it was that evening,
and I do hope that the fountain
head of sin together with freewill
and Self righteousness were given up
stubborn. I asked- the prayers of
the cliurch and preacher on Sunday
for the last time, for I did not think
that I could live until morning,
this \vas the first Sunday in Jiilv,
1827, by this time I lost most
all hoj>e of ever meeting God m
peace after death,, as ' I have tried
the preacher, and also the
firayCrs of the church, and my case
was nothing bettered; it did seem
that there tvas no ch-anoe for me. X
could not rest day nor night, my
appetite had failed and God and.diope
were far from me: and every moment
will certainly be my last and everv
time 1 tried to pray it would be my
last. I lived on in this way until
Wednesday before tlie third Sunday
in, July, there was to be preachin
for the last time as I thought,
that day. Bnow liegan to say tsrord at tfee meetfng house, so that morn
save poor me if it is thy will and
good pleasure, not my will but thine
be done, and .these words came to
ing'I got up about day, I thought I
would go-aiid try tO' pray and ask
God to show rnc the worst of my
ie, so
b-gging rac-rev.
%TTvS‘ lur
must
.{lilt beggiag, but my wiiole desire
was Lord liave mercy upon me.—
1/i-ere is no , other way or jilan oi
*fllvation for me, amidst all my toil
^ and gnef i deeireu’to hear someone
" ’jpon the subject of religion.—
N-ow there was a baptist-lady with
"■hero I had’been aeqaain ted; 1 de
cided tiiat tewould go home with
hew at:-I talk with her, as ! though}
that she could tell me a quick wav
01 getting religion. So I started, 1
'funnot tell my feelings as I'strode
along with her and after enquiring
to hw health and • the health of
the settler-ent and friends, I brought
«p the subject of religion: wLc’)
trembling and an aching heart, slu-
asked me a great many questions.
»onie I could' .answer and' some 1
could not. I commeneed .sh«ddimr
tears, it did seem to mo that mv
k-art would break, Lhad not ever
•I'-t any
mind, but if I perish I will pray and' case, while I was on my knees it
perish only there: this-one time Ig t'came into my mind it was the sin of
pay for going to meeting. We eat j unbelief and self-righteousnes.s. 1
dinner and went about three milcsjthen -in a few minutes- thought I
that night to meeting, myself aiiffl could give Up all worldly pleasure
the lady and'her brother, aud she, for the sate ofu hope in Christ;
talked a great deal and she pointed ffhis was the darkest day to my mind I
I nearlylbst my mind,
tl.at tb«.« ...f I diJ not ttink 1
ucen"'sucira^!)a(n)dv is no ifP
and wicked sinner a.ll mv life \ha fl'-e day o1
n-.n oas,. was no oat.do «,o a 4 t' f ‘TT H h:''' ‘'“"B'"
‘>1.1 mo tl,e ,„.o„.iso,s oftl o . I f ^ ‘''o Wore I „o„U
tat I o„,.Id L da;„> ovo!! tiro kjst: " ^ “'“1' ‘■“B' 1>»’‘
■ J all the great pr
ing sucli a groat sinne
^ sundv die T-ifp
1 wanted Iier and all cliristia— - • ^ f a luPg fiom the house where no
pray ter me and' she said hat she !
hear
had tried to prjiy for me alonglirne
and that I was on the mind of the
church, for I heard them pray for you;
tins was an another deep mystery to
me.T was geting worsoand worse t-yerv
iioiir while sitting under the sound
tethc gospel that night, all the pun
ishment wa.s for me and the promises
foi-some one else. I felt like eveiy
Ix>dy Was looking at me, by this
time I got willing to ask the preacher
to pray for me; so at the close of
service I gotup trembling and
and
so
weak I could scarcedy walk hut I
got to him. and told him T wanted
. , him to pray for me a poor lost con.
.) one see me shedding tears jdeianed sinner: he takin^r bold nf
•c ore, s le coir l t.dl-methee.‘ierciwdniy hand said, Daniel‘I am rhd
k my mmd, and uned^ to comfbrtjtoseeyou com; tremblin'
■>D 0 ( lerl vvasso hard of under- j ing we and the church b^pray ter
iri.ii r J-. I i 1 • . I
there I went to make my last peti
tion and 1 said witliin my heart if
I did not die there I vcould go to
meeting that night ter the last"time.
So through the mercy of God 1 wa.s
peimitted to go to meeting that
night, and my whole soul’s desire
wa.s that I would find peace with
my piaker, and when I got there
tte preaclier read his text and told
where it might be found and said
^ that he was going to preach an ex-
penmentai sermon by the help ©f
Gbd, he told my feeling.s’ for a wliile;
I listened a wliilo and thought that
aading and full .,ff unbelief that J
I yon, ibr I have lie
he was wrom
way, and I
O?
am
lor I had felt
no Christian,
that
ana
as I went along home my sister
talked to me, but I could not see how'
God could be just in saving such
sinner as I wa.s, and when I got
borne 1' went in my room to li«'
down, I sat down on the bed medi
tating on my past life and this is th*-
laid day I ever shall see, I got up-
and went out one mere time and fell
down with my tece to the ground
[ now felt willing te say freely
Lord thy will be done with my
[)Oor soul; if I am damned it is just
and if saved it is through the good-
iie.s and mercy of God the gi ver of
all good and perfect gifts, 1 got up
and felt no relief, I went to my room
and fell upon my bed, I thought
every breath would be my last, I
rolled and tumbled and my pillow
was wet with tears, I, mourned and
groaned because I could not mouru
a riglit. I grieved because I
thought that such a-sinner as I wa»4
could not be saved. I went to sleep
and awoke about day light, my
punishment was greater than I could
bear, I picked out a place about ^
quarter of a mile and thought I
would go and say my last prayci ,,
these words being in ray mind, yo*’
have eyes and can’t see, ears acui.
don’t hear,la heart and do sot un-
has done for poor einners, su,ch as
} on arc, for Jesiis has died to say©
poor sinners from their sins, and;
when I got half way to the pla«j
where I intended going, somethiag
caused me to stop and this though!
arose in ray mind what would lgdr^
tliat thi.s great burden of sin- an-b
condemnation wore removed from m*
so that I could prai.se God, and from
some cause I do not know what,
there seemed to he a little rejoicing-
in rat'heart. 1 went to the place L
iutended going and tell upon my
kees and said, Lord I give myself to
thee it is all that I can do, help thoui
mine unbelief. I could utter no-
tliing else, my feelings I cannot des
cribe, they are such I never felt
fore, white upon my knees I heard
a voice saying, believe me, I am th«
way tlie trutii and the life, it was 1
trust about like the voice that the
(dd prophet heard in the month of
W.«.vausorublc a.O wr.td.ed .ia...-/a lar.j i;nK.,a„J v',™ ^ | ‘
when he got to the jilace of deliver
anceheleftmc as if! were hanging
on a brittle thread over an awful
gulf; I cannot teil how I tedt," ex
but and at this place 1 lost mr
i , . ^ ^ t ^ vvil UVW i loif; PY-
breath to be the last.
' 1 asked the preacher to pray ter me
burden and cannot tell how it went
but I felt to rejoice and give glory
and honor to God; i hope ■! had a
full view of Jesus oa the cross, not
with tJte natural eye, but with ua-
eye (>ffaith. Now this ia