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170
WiLUAMSTOjr, N. C., May 1875.
JMer F. JJ. Gold, Fear Brother
in Christ:—
?^Myr has become my fortune to «;et
r^^3 hold of some of your vaiuahlo.
paper-i (Zio^f’s LA.NKviAiiKS,)
tiu'ough t!ie luuuis of one t>f
my old neigiibors, who is an Old
.ijaj‘>tist, and I hope he is an old .ser
vant of God also, for lie is an c-arne.st
(H)ntGnder for the truth, as well as al!
the rest oftiiat old sect which is
everywl’.eres)!okcn against by the re
ligious vrorld. And, since I have
road the different pieces written by
our beloved brethren and sister.-^, and
vicwiiv tlicir sore trials and hard
O
difiiculties wdiich they have had to
contend with in tins cold-heartKl mad
tsin-disordered world—it makes me
iA‘l that it is my indi-pensaide duty
which I owe to you and ni)' God to
write you a short sketch of my travail
from nature’s night to tho marvelous
light of God’.s do.irSan; but, when 1
view niv iiudfdiiy, and know that it
will be so disconnected, it i.s more
than a reasonahlo task f ;r me to con
vey to a world of pcoji'e : but we arc
commanded to let our light so shine
before the wmrld that sinners may .see
our good works, and turn and glori
fy our Father which is in heaven.—
^0 I am made to go io my worst
without making any e.’tcuse, only to
usk God to direct my mind so that
Avliat I say or write may be in com-
])liance with God’s holy will, anu to a
true chrislian experience; but, before
I cuter on tbc ta.-k Tv,nil say, that i.
am a very ill iterate man—Iliaveonly
enough education to^cj'^olo pne to
write a little.
1 liopc that the proper spirit is bear
ing w-'ilness with me, that 1 have
passed from ieath unto life.
1 was L'orn February 17th, 1839,
in Martin County, A. C. My parents
both belonged to the PriniitiveBaptist
order, but i)y-some means my father
was cut off fVom-th.c privileges of tite
Church about the time the .split took
place, whicli was before my recollec
tion : but my dcarold mother remains
un.-diakeu to this day aud is one
among the oldest Baptists that 1
know of. hly father was kided by
tlie limb of a tree falling on bini in
the year 1850, wliich left my mother
v.-ithfoifr small ciuldrento mourn onr
sad lo.ss. Oh iny dear brethren, this
wastiie beginning of trouble vnith us,
for \vc were, as it might be .said—
poor folk.s—it took nearly all that
fit her Idl to ])ay hi3dcbt.s. But, the
i!U--ed Jjord Avas Avith my mother,
;-..i:, if there ever Avas a poor widow
bl;.'.'‘d V)A' the hand of the Jj(>ru, she
wa.'. It appeared to mo that lier
I're.ver.s were all answered, and all her
mad was .scon by all that were able to
itcli) imr.
But she did not forsake
her little Church. One year after
the di arl) of my father .site was able
to buy a horse—and, as I was her
oldest son, I went Avith her almo.st
cvei'v where she went (X was then
about thirteen yeans ohl.) I had one
sister older than myself, and two
vonngcr brothers—but my sister aud
her playmates visited tho I’h'oe A ill
and -Methodist Churches. So, some
Sabbaths I Avas at the Old Ba[)tist
Church, another at the Metliodist,
and atiother at the Free NViil Baptist
(.’hurch, (noAV called Christ’.s Bi.sci-
Zion’s liiiiMlmarks : Wilsoii« N, C.
ple.s). At that time I cared but lit
tle about preaching, hut always liad
mannens enough to behave myself
when I went ro Church.
In ’55 the Methodists had a great
revival, and on IMonday my mother
and si.stcr went to .see what they were
doing. Mdien they returned they
said the Methodists were having such
times it made me feel like T w.,intecl
to go; and .so I .said to mj mother,
that probably I could get religion
too ‘^s they had so much of it at Mt
Zion. I went and when I got there
they were singing
“ Faiher, I Htretcii my Ivinds to thee.
No otliiT help I knoTT:
If Thou wlthdr;n>.' Thyself from mo ;
Ah, whiii.er .shall 1 go
I looked aroiind and .^aw many who
looked like they were deeply inter
ested about the welfare of thei? swtls.
Soon after this preachingcomm.enced
and .soon they bcran to call for
mourners Avben the people .started
from all rp.iar'ers of the hou.'tr, and
amon;g them nas my sweet heart.—
Bight here I will tell yon, dear breth
ren, wa.s the finst time 1 ever hal an
impression inaie on mj mind about
the welfare of my soul, and they
prayed and cried and shouted so loial
that there were but few left on their
.seats—but among them I was one.—
They tried hard on me, but mv feel-
itigs at that time 1 shall nevir bo al
aoie
to e-xpres.s. Alter pre-iching I went
home and it .seemed that my heart
would break, and fo-** two or three
days I could not bear to hear preach
ing inentlonwi but that it would,
would live a better life than I had
ever liA'ed before. But, as soon as I
began to recoA’cr, I found myself just
Avhat I was before. Sometimes I
was a praying man and sometimes a
cni’.sing man. In the lattei’ part of
’59 I ; bought I would become a good
man again, for I thought it Avas in
my power to work my.self in the pow
er of God just Avhen I pleased. I
thought if I did an eA’il deed and
would then pray all would be right.
In ’58 my .«istcr married a Bfisciple
preacher. In ’60 he told me to offer
rnraelf again that the Church would
receive me—-I offered and Atas re
ceived again.
In ’61 the war began. I volun
teered and went off to 8ght (as the.
leading men '^aid) in the defense M
my country, arol, £« won ai9 I got off
in tiie, army, I avi« everything that
any one eonld ’oebnt a goi.id man. I
vras in Vip;pnia all the time daring
.soldiering, and soon the time of hard
hghring came on and many of iny
comrades were falling on every side.
It caused me to say, Behold, Avhat
manner of }>er‘^ons ought avs to he!
In ’63, I think, was the time of the
8even Davs Fight. It avas then I
iMj'ran to feel the m^ed of a Savior.—-
B.:’fore I thought I couhl save my.^clf
but now I found that I was mistaken,
for I readi in the scripfnres “Cursedi
Is man that trusteth in man or mak-
elh flesh his arm; about this tinae I
would often cry out, Ijord, have mer
cv on Ufi—arud wouhl often go off and
cause me to burst into tears of grit/
From that time I began to pray, and
for two ycarii I
two ycar.'j 1 prayed regujar!v_
By some mean.s my si.^ter discovered*
that I did .something every night be
fore I retired. One night she watch
ed me, and told some of the girls in
the neighboriioo-.l ab.nut it, and they
Avould laugh at mo and call me a
look for a place to jiray Avhere I could
not be .wea. I htv! a woundesl hi^arfc
anuwo-uld go to thelXictor. Some
times he" AA'ould pre.scnbe for me, aird
SoraetinKss h« would tell me that notn-
iag was the itui'tor with me. I went
on in this condition nntibthe Wii
preacher. I soon got tired of being
laughed at, .so I stopped praying aud
soon began to be the head man in the
ball room, and once in a while I ciuild
be heard to use an oath. I Avent on
until March ’57, Avhen the Disciples
of Chrht fiivt chaugeil their names
from “Free-will Baptists” to “Chris
tian Baptist.s,” and then to Christ’s
Biscij)hs - and they started a new
:i!ist and in March they iu-ld a
protracted meeting and had a great
Evangelist
ingatlrering, and among them I AA'as
one, aud i licld on about six months
a very good fellow, wlicn I got mar
ried aud moAA'd in a new neighbor
hood and visited one of my brothers’
in-laAv Avho Avas a ATry profane
swearer: lie had a pack of cards, and
he and liis Avife and I ,i\nd my wife
all took a game. One night one of
the members caught u.«. I Avas ar
raigiicd before the Church and was
turned out —than I commenced curs
ing again.
In ’58 I AA’cnt to oveiveeing, and
thought when I did the worst I could
it p'eased my employer the beat. I
became so Avicked and cruel that I
came Amry near killing a servant.
That caused me and my employer to
fall out. I Wixs tlicn confined to a
bed of affliction and thought I AA’Ould
surely die. I began to pray! and
make promises to God that if lie
Avould raise me up one more time I
ofl86o-’6-i, wlitm our Chaplain be
gan to hold preaching every night:
(he Avas a Mis-^ionary Baptist) ami
I won id often talk about religion to
him and often he would make this
reply, Y/hen tho Lord begins a goml
Avork he '.viil carry it on. Oh, I was
so misera.ble. About this time I Avas
soliciiCHl to hold prayer meeting, which
i began and kept it up until the
Summer of’61, when I began to try
to exhort in public. Shortly after I
war taken prisoner and if I did feel
the need of a Savior it was then—my
poor heart Avoiild at times rise up in
ray throat, and at times it seemed that
I would faint. I went on this way
until ’72—praying and beseeching
my heaATuly Father to forgive me of
my past sins Avhlch Avere so numer
ous.
Oh, dear brother Gold, I shall nev
er be able to describe my feelings nor
describe my anguish of heart. It ap
peared that I had not a friend in this
Avorld, and everything seemed to
cross my mind; Avhich caused me to
pray to tlie Lord to take me from this
world, and then the thoughts of
an everlasting burning hell would
come to my mind; and then I would
pray the Lord to remove all such
troubles from me. My load of sin
and guiit Avould at times seem as
mountains and a-s black as jet. Fi
nally I quit trying to pray in public
or anywhere else except off in some
thicket or solitary place, and then it
appeared for me to pray AA^as a sin
and everything I said or did seem
ed to boa sin, for I '.aai-S so .sinlul ft-
seemed that I was meaner than any
ofthe whole brute creation. Sorno-
time.s I would read my Bible but it
appeared that at the end of every
sentence there Ava,s a curse laid down
against me, so ranch so that I stop;)C.l
reading the Bible, for twelve month.->
I don’t think I mad twelve chaptor.s.
I would workday after day, crying
and praying; and at times it .seemed
that I would be comforted, but tho
most of my time it seemed that my
prayers would reach no higher than
ray head. I could see the little bird.s
ffrifjg and singing all around me
Avhile at work, and would often wish
that 1 was like tiiey Averc: aud at
rimva would e\'en wldi to be tho
horn* that I was Avorking, that had
nr> to bo lost or sav'od. I en
vied everything that I siiaa' that
seemyd to haAm any peace. I would
go to sleep a-t night and would awake
almost frightened to death, for 1
thiineht I had some ofthe roost fearful
dreams (o e!5coc-nter with of any per
son m the world. In June ’72 i
went with Elder J. Ij. ilo.ss to visit
one of the Old Baptist congregations,
Avhieh convened at Bear Grass in
Martin County, Id. C., wlien ono of
my old friends anl: neighbors went
forwartl and related an experience ot
grace aed Avas received and was bap-
ti;«d the next morning. Riglit there
ai'.d then I had one of the hardest
times I ever had in my life, but I
tried A'erv bard to hide it. That
eyetfmg brother Boss and my.selT
went borne wit'i one of my cousin
who was an Old Baptist, and at mghl
thef w,wte-J me to sin;;
“The ero^s of Ghri;(t inspires lay iienrt
To aii.g redeeming gr.ice.'’
After 1 got rhrongb they commencci'
talking of their travails from nature’-
night to the marvelous light of God’s
dear Son. I thought my poor heart
would burst Avithin my breast and it
appeared that I would choke to death.,
Shortb/ after brother Ross came in
and asked -me if I didn’t wish 1
could throw it up. It made my
eyes burst forth in grief for him to
talk in this Avay to me; but since I
think I have heard him say that he
Ivas been in just the same condition..
The nia'nt passed off, and whm morn-
ing dawnecl I could hardly face
any one that I thought Avas a cans
tian—I thought I had sinned away
the day of grace and tliat !iell would
be my portion. But as soon a-3 avo
got breakfa.st we started to the bap
tizing, and I said nothing to any one
—ray feelings I can’t cxpre.ss—all I
wanteil was to get off somewhere so I
eonld pray. After preaching that
day brother Boss and myself went
home with the gentleman that Avas
baptized. We did not .stay long be
fore Ave .started liomc, and on the
Avay Ave saw several little boys play
ing Avhen this passage of scripture
Avas presented to my mind, “Except
ye be converted and become as a little
child von cannot enter the kingdom
of God.” But to my surprise I got
homo safe and met rny dear comjian-
ion Avith smi'es on her face as usual.
She asked me if I was sick. I told
her that I Avas not sick but felt very
bad. For tAVO Aveeks I think I saw
as ranch trouble as any man on earth.
One day Avhile I Avars plowing it
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