I
I
Zion’s Landmarks: Wilson, N. C.
friendship, and thought I had written
a brotherly letter, thinking I had a
right to do so ; tt\at I felt impressed
in feeling to write as there had been
many things said about the New
River Association, in regard to Sec
tion Meetings; that f had designed to
«ot the (natter right before him, and
Uiat I was sorry to know that he or
any of the brethren had been olfend-
ed, as I had designed oBly the good
of the cause. He said that if i had
sent it to hitn, instead of psblashing
it, he would have received it hiiidly,
and would have taken great rpains to
answer it—hut, that he would
liot answer it through the press. I
ao:ain assured him that I designed ®o
by having the letter publislred,
.said lie believed what I said
V
S^nd added, that if I would
write what I had said, to the editor
■of the Landmarks and let it liepub-
lished, he \v(}uld l)e siitisfied. I told
him I would do so—so we parted iia
peace, as 1 thought. The next day,
at Centre Meeting House, he referred
to to the subject again, and expressed.,
in feelino- terms his satisfaction : said
that he did not want full pay—but,
for me to write to the Landmarks
and let it be published, and if bis
mind did not change he woiald be
satisfied. He remarked to brother
Joseph Pace, Brother Pace, 1 and
brother Hall are living again!! £
remember telling him, in tiie pres
ence of brother E. B. Turner, that I
could net alter wliatl had written.: he
told me t(» write what £ thought
would be right. We tlien shook
hands in peace. This is the subject
if our conversation.
after mv
■home, I wi'ote the letter as I had
promised aiuiex[)lained my motives for
writing. I wrote as near what I had
promised as I could and sent it to
Elder Bodenliaraer and reqnestedhim
to publish it, I waited for several
months to st»o it come out—it not
appearing, I wrote to know why it
had not been published ; when Elder
Bodenbamer published a notice stat
ing that my letter had been misplac
ed ; but suited that brother Cassell
and I had had an interview and had
settled onr difilcnlties. Tliis I
thought Elder Ca.‘‘sell would see, and
then all would lie well. I had met
with him tw'ioeand there was nothing
said, so I had concluded the mat.ter
was done with. But, sometime since,
I learned that Elder Cassell was still
.expecting nte to write. I then cut
'the note that brother Bodenbamer
publisiied, out of the pafier, and sent
it to him that he might see that I
had complied on my part, that it was
not ffiiy fault that ray letter was net
tpublished. I thought he would be
■satisfied with me when he saw it.—
iBut shortly after this I learned that
Elder Cassell was still expecting me
to write, and said until I did so be
..souM not preach with me.
Now, as I desire the friendsliip
and fellowship of all God’s people,
I would not willingly or knowing’y
offend any person, much le^ a Min
ister of Christ’s gospel: I write once
■more to say to al] concern'^', Elder
‘Cassell in particular, that I did not
-purpose to hurt him or any one else.
vAnd, wlaile I do most honestly be
lieve that what was first written was
by the promptings of God’s Spirit,
and therefore I cannot apologize for
the subject matter contained in the
same, yet I do liere!'y acknowl
edge, tiiat as I intended the letter for
the public, that I bad no right to use
the name of any individual. So far
as Elder Cas ell’s name is concerned,
I see tiiat I did wrong to use it with
out his consent; and, I now assure
liim, that 1 did it without once
thinking of hurting him, or doing
him the least harm—it was by no
means intended as trying to publish
him or to make him a mark for the
aTT.'ws of derision. I am sorry that
I addressed the letter to him, but as
I honestly did not design any offence,
I -now, most honestly and humbly
aWk i.)im to forgive me for addressing
tlve letter to him—as in this I was
wreaiig.
I would like for my letter to be
read fey all who have it as addressed;
“ T© All Whom it May Cimeern,”
and not to Elder A. J. Cassell. This
is all that I can do.
Hoping that you will give this a
pboe in the Landmarks, and that
it may give perfect satisfaction, I will
close by subscribing myself
Your unworthy brother
in tribulation,
John C. Hall.
Brother Hall and brother Cassell
are two re«inr^a£)/y gifted and iiafful
B.iptist preachers—men of pure char
acters too. I liope that the best of
feeliKgf; and warm Christian fellow-
slraip may be restored between them :
“See that ye fall not out by the
way.” it does look like brother
Hall’s statements above are suffi
cient, and we believe brother Cassell
'"til ;^ecept them, and
b-umble ail'd faithful a spirit
er Hall. Forgiveness and humility
aire among the sweetest spirits of a
christia,n.—El).
X-IA5.MVII.1.E, Pike County, Ala..
April 17 th, 1875.
Bear Bi'oiher in Christ: —
E one so unworthy a.s I feel
my.self to be, may address you ;
it is with much fear and weak
ness that I take my pen for
the purpose of trying to comply with
your request. I have thought of
Writing to you many times, but would
put it off, thinking perhaps I would
get .something better to write.
The first trouble I remember ever
having was when I was quite young.
I dreameil the devil was trying to get
me; there was a fence between ns and
I was almost near enough to lay my
hand on ft. He worked very hard
to get me but gave up the idea after
a while, and then went aw'ay- At
first I was troubled very much about
my dream, but after a while it wore
off. About seven years ago, as well
as I Can remember, I dreamed, that
our family were enclosed with a large
wall and that've all had to die. It
fell to my lot to die first r the rest
seemed ready and willing; while I
could find no rest at all, and begged
to be let off, telling them I was not
prepared to die. They said they
would let me off for a while. I then
awoke, but can’t describe my feelings
at that time. Everything that I had
done in all my life loomed up before
me, and I saw tiiat I was a sinner
against a just and holy God. My
cry was, Lord, have mercy on me, a
sinner! I tried to get clear of my
trouble but could not: it would leave
me for a while but would return
again. When in company I could
enjoy myself very well. I remained
in tliis condition for a good while:
sometimes enjoying myself and some
times cast down ; until the second
Sunday in last August, at preaching,
my trouble returned with double the
weight it had ever had before; I
thought I was the greatest sinner
that ever lived, and had not a friend
on earth. I tlien could see and re
alize iny dream, and knew if the
Lord did not save me I would be
lost forever. When I would leave
the house to pray I would feel like I
did not want to return, but was
afraid to remain away very long for
fear of being questioned as to wliere I
bad been. Often I had to leave the
«
table to hide my tears—it seemed
that my burden was more than I
could bear. The question was often
asked me: “What is the mat
ter?” My reply would be, “ Noth
ing!” The tear.® that I had shed
and the sleepless night I had spent
no one knew anything of. My con
tinual prayer was, “ Lord, be merci
ful to me the chief of sinners!” I
thought the day of grace had passed
with me ; and, I felt that it was just
and right for me to be lost.
Dear brother, when vou were here
you asked me to tell you my feelings :
I made the attempt, but thought ray
words w'ould deceive you, and pur-
po.sed telling you before you left not
to be deceived in me, but failed. I
tlu.nght I bad deceived you—but I
f(l could not be—and
iW i'iiy'^ieaK?^(Hp5e
last you spoke to me, dear
brother, sank deep in my heart, and I
thought if it was your desire and
prayer for God to bless me it w'ould
be no use for me to try in my weak
w-ay any more; but, 1 could not help
it. I would have given the world
had it been mine, if I could have be
lieved on the Lord. The world had
no charms for me. I was so weary
of my life.
The first of January my troubles
began to wear away, and then I de
sired to be baptized, tho’ I tried to
put it off but could not. So, Wedne.s-
day before last, (the first Sunday) I
heard that cousin John Carter was
going over to Elam, the second Sun
day, to baptize Harvey Webb—when
something seemed to say, Why don’t
you go too? My reply was. Lord,
I am not good enough, I may be de
ceived and might deceive the Church.
I was so troubled about it that I
could rest neither day or night. The
following week, one evening I was
walking through the yard when these
words were presented to my mind:
Noah, with hia favored few.
Were ordered to embark;
Eijrht little s»>iils, a human crew,
EnteieJ aboard his Ark.
The tears began to flow from my
eyes: for what reason I could not tell
—I thought Noah was willing to
obey when the Lord commanded him
—but I was rtoti I implored the
Ijord to direct me what to do. These
words were then presented: “Take my
yoke upon you and learn of me, for I
am meek and lowly iu heart; and
you shall find rest to your soul.” T
felt so little and unworthy that .1
thought I was deceived, and that 1
would disgr ice the cause and bring
reproach upon the Church. I had a
great desire to see cousin John and
talk with him: I desired that if ever
I was baptized that he should do it.
But I thought I would not go to
preaching Saturday and Sunday, and
perhaps by that time it would be re
moved from my mind. Tho’ wtien
they returned from pn-aching SSlur-
day talking about the meeting, it.
seemed that I could stay away no
longer. Sunday morning they had
preaching before baptizing,' on ac
count of the rain. When cousin
John rode up I could not help from
talking with him. He said he was
satisfied and was willing to baptize
me. He advi.sed me to go to the
Cliurch and give in my experience
and be baptized. We went in the
house, a lady told me if I wanted to
be baptized she w'onid loan me cloth
ing, (as I did not carry ai\v with me
for that pur|)ose)—so there was a wav
made that I never thought of: so
went forward, said a lew words and
was received and baptized that eve
ning with two others.
I have only touched lightly upon
the dealings of the Lord with my
poor soul.
I hope you will I'emembe? me in
your pi-ayers.
Your Unworthy sister,
Amanda Bozeman.
Shelby, N. C.. October 19th, 187b.
Editoi- Zion's Landrnarlee:—
I FEEL strange in attempting
to head this article : my weak-
^ ness, my unworthinesss, and
the possibility of crowding
trembles and I feel uneasy, fea.'ing f
rna-' do harm rather than good—then
these words:
And must I be to judgment brought.
And answer in that day,
For every vain and idle thought,
And every word I say 7
Yes, I am passing away to tiiar great
judgment day. I have read many
viesvs of the contributors: some
preaching, some praying, some de
siring others to pray for them ; some
exhorting others to good words and
works, while some (it seems to me)
try to pry intf) unrevealed things.
Brethren, revealed things belong to
ns, but the nnrevealed to God. Sal
vation is of the Jjord, wronghc upon
the Cross by Christ, and applied tc»
ns by the Holy Spirit, working in m
to will and do of his good pleasure
toward us ; teaching us the sinfulness
of sin, our inability to reinstate our
selves into the favor of God, or even
into a correct knowledge of his word.
Brethren, if we write, speak or hear
without, or contrary to the Spirit of
God to enable us, we are as a sound
ing brass and a tinkling cy mbal. 1
hope the bretliren will exercise
liberty in writing in the Spirit of
meekness, one to another, and that
we ma'^ edify rather than grieve
each other. Let ns .endeavor to be;\r
each others’ burdens,and so lulfil! the
law of Christ. Brethren, if you arc.
called of God be content with your
calling. Be not high minded, but
fear. Let those that lo not preach
rejoice in that they are called to be
saints ; let exhorters exercise the gib
that is in them ; lot those that 'the
Lord lias called to the Ministry of
the Won!, be not higli-rainded, but
rather fear—then may we appear like
horses in Bharaoh’.s chariot, all work-
ing gently together.
JamI^ McK.INNj(JY„