Newspapers / Zion’s Landmarks (Wilson, N.C.) / June 15, 1876, edition 1 / Page 4
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I 116 Zion’s Landmark: Wilson, N. C. Chambers County, Ala., Sep. 9, 1874. Dear Brother Gold:— I don’t know how it is that any one who feels as unworthy as I do can attempt to write to one whom I look upon as being one of God’s chil dren, unless it is because the Lord has done great things for me, whereof I am made to rejoice. It has been im pressed on my mind ever since I join ed the church to write out my little experience, I have attempted it in the love of Christ, and I hope he will be with me. I was born and raised in Chambers county, Alabama. My father and mother were raised in South Carolina. They were Primi- itive Baptists, and were recieved and baptize! into Flat Shoals Church, after which they moved to Alabama. Here they joined Ephesus Church, where they lived until their deaths. My father died in the year 1871 ; my mother in 1873; and they are gone where, I have ever reason to believe, they are resting in the arms of Jesus. They left several children to mourn their loss, but at that time I had no hope of ever meeting them again; for 1 had always been such a sinner, and my. thoughts only on this world’s goods, that I never thought of here of what would become of me. I took a great delight in par- after, nor ties and dancing, and thought when one joined the church that his pleas ures were gone. Soon after this I at tended very regularly a revival at a Missionary church, and went to the altar for prayer. One night I con cluded that I would join, but when the invitation was given and I start ed to get up, I could not: something seeming to hold me down and telling me that I was deceived and not fit to be a member of the church. I then felt that I was a sinner, without the grace of God, and would perish. 1 felt so mean I did not want to be where any one was, and would wan der in the woods for fear some one would ask me what was the matter. I would try to read the bible, but it seemed that every word condemned me. I continued in this state until my mother died, when I promised myself that I would meet her in heaven if God would be my helper; for I knew without his grace I could never enter. I went to preaching at Ephesus Church, in August, where I had .often gone with my mother. It seemed like home to me, and the ser mon that was preached seemed to be preached to me. After services were over the minister and I stopped at the same house for dinner, and I never spent such a miserable evening. I was afraid that some one would ask me if there was not somethiiig the matter. Soon the subject of people joining the church was raised, and the minister asked me if I had met with a change. I told him I had not, and that I never expected tO' at tach myself to the church until I did. I was so afraid that he would ask me some questions I got up and left the room. After I went hon;e it kept eoraing in my mind whether or not I had ever met with a ^;hange. I could not get rid of it, and it vvas not long before I went to hear the Old Bap tists again. After a good sermon in the day, 1 went again at night. An invitation for membership was given, when one of my dearest friends offer ed and was received. I was then left. I felt that if I could have gone with her I would have been happy, but she had left me with that burden which seemed so heavy that I thought it would kill me, and that I would die that night a poor lost sinner, to live with the wicked in everlastii punishment. I went that night (o sit up with a sick child. I looked at it and thought its sufferings would soon be over, but that mine never would. I started home the next morning, but I did not know whether I would get there or not. I came to a place of woods, and there I got down upon my knees and tried to pray, but could not utter one word; for I was so afraid that something would catch me, that I got up and went home. I tried to be lively, but could not. I did not say anything to any one, but I got my bible and tried to read, but could not find any consolation there. I again went to the woods and tried to pray, but my prayers did not' seem to rise above my head. F--«ontinued to pray with out ceasing, but did not get any com fort. I had no .one that I could tell my feelings to. The lady I was liv- and the birds were sending forth their praises to God, and to me every thing seemed to be happy. I went to preaching soon after, and when an opportunity was offered to those who wished to join the church,! thought I would offer, but failed and went home feeling that I would never have another opportunity. I promised my self that I would never let another opportunity pass without offering my self to the church, whether they re ceived me or not. On Saturday the 9th day of Oct., 1873, at Ephesus church, after preaching by Eld. A. B. Whatley, an opportunity was given. He sang the old familiar piece; “ I love the sons of grace.” I tried to sing but could not. I be gan to tremble as they sang the fourth stanza: “ They love the Father’s name, And gladly do his will ; They humbly follow Clirist the Lamb, In righteousness and zeal.” ing with talked so lightly of religion that I was afraid to say anything to her. I just thought if I could see a member of the Old Baptist church. and talk with him, and tell him my troubles, it would be a great com fort to me. The next day was the Sabbath, and I spent the day in weep ing and praying, but my prayers did not avail much. That night after all had sunk into deep slumbers but my self, for there was no rest for me, I fell down on my kees to try to pray ;’ for I felt that if [did not get rid oi that heavy burden I would die, and then where would my sinful sou T go ? down, down to the burning pit, where I would live forever with the wicked angels in everlasting punishment, and never more be permitted to see those dear parents any more. Eight tiien I gave up all this world’s goods and fell at the feet of Jesus, and asked him to have mercy on me a poor lost and undone sinner. I do not know how long I reinained there, but there were some words which seemed to be spoken to me, saying, arise and be baptized, for I have blessed thee, and Oh, brother Gold, I cannot find words that would express ray feelings at that time, at the joy and happiness I felt. I arose from my knees prais ing God ; I felt that I loved every body; everything looked new; my burden had left me, and I felt like a new pei'son that was just born into, the world. I had always loved the Primitive Baptists, but now felt that I liad a right to love them. I felt tiiat I could never thank God for be I went forward and gave him my hand, and told the church what great things the Lord had done for me.— It was a little experience. I told them that I was not satisfied living out of the church—that I loved God’s children, and wished to live with them. I was recieved with joy into full fellowship with the Old Bap tist church, and was baptized the next day, by brother Whatley—by one whom I have every reason to believe is a child of God. I have had many doubts and fears since I have belonged to the church, but my prayer is, that the Lord may enable me to overcome the tempter. There is no pleasure to be seen out side of the house of God’s dear chil- .'•dren. - I have given you my short and poor experience. Brother Gold, pray that I may hold out faithful to the end. Feeling that I have done my duty, I close. Your unworthy sister in Christ. C. A. Hughes. stowing his blessings on siich a poor sinner as I was. I felt that I loved Jesus, and could put my trust in him. I co,uld read the bible and find much to comfort me^ but it was not long be- fore.something told me that I was de ceived. Then I was in trouble again. I went off to. myself and prayed to the Lord to make it known to me in some way, whether I was deceivel or not. That night I had two dreams aboutjoining the church and baptism, and when I awoke tlie sun had risen, Kocky Mt., N. C., April 13, 1876. Brother Gold:— Ido not like apologie.s, or I would offer due for troubling you now. For several months pa.st I have felt so blind, ignorant, and unbelieving that I am generally afraid to speak a word on the great and glorious sub ject of the salvation of sinners. There has been such a night rest ing upon me, and pressing me down, that I often feel like sinking under it. I am afraid it is a presentiment of impending evil—of some great sor- sow that is to come upon me. I have striven hard to cast it off, but all my efforts have proved unavailing, and although it is very hard to bear, I know it must remain till ray heaven ly Father is pleased to remove it.— I hope I believe ‘‘all things work to- getiier for good to them that love _Go(l.” If I love him, I am beloved by him. “ We love him because he first loved us;” and as the wisest, the best, the most faithful and loving Father, he does not afflict willingly, hut for our good ; and I would fain bow in humble submission to his ho ly will. Since I saw you, I have tho>ught much on the subject of Christ’s temp tations, and (with all due resi)ect to you, I hope,) I must -say I cannot see them in the light in which you ap pear to view them. You spoke of Abraham’s temptation a,5 being sim ilar to Christ’s. To me they appear different. God tempted or tried Abra ham—the devil tempted Christ. God said to Abraham, “Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get the into the land of Moriah, and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the moun tains which I will tell the of.” Abra ham knew it was God that spoke to him, and it was his duty to obey.— If you command your son to perform a piece of work, although it may be very repugnant to his feeling.s, and he may not understand your object in having it done, he knows his father has commanded, and his father’s commandments are I’ight; he goes for ward and performs it; his faith and obedience are manifested. Thus it was with Abraham, and it was left on record for our ensample. Christ came into the world to bear—to suf fer for all the sins of his people. “ In all our afflictions he was afflicted.”— Unbelief is one of them. I know to doubt God is sin, and Christ knew no sin; yet in some (to us) unknown, mysterious way he suffered for it. If a man should say to you. If you were a child of God, you would al ways be rejoicing,and his words would have no effect on you,make no impres sion at all, would it be a temptation to you ? I think Jesus really felt the devil’s temptations. He was in the wilderness where there v\as no food, .“afnd when he had fasted forty days and forty nights he was afterwards an hutigered.” His flesh wa.s weak, ye^, Aveak as our.s, I think. Now wo ktow the most natural thing for a .hungry man to desire is food. The tempter knew this—hence his first at tack. “If thou be the Son of God, command tiiat these stones be made bread.” The blow was given—reach ed the flesh—made an impression— produced pain, but could not enter to corrupt it, for God was there, in that flesh, to repel it. He was strength, Jesus, replied, “ It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.” We would always be eating—feasting, but this is not the will of God, and he knows what is best for us. We must live by every thing he gives us—nothing more. The devil next endeavors to get Jesus to tempt God. “Then he tak- eth him up into the holy city, and setteth him on a pinnacle of the tem ple, and saith unto him. If thou be the Son of God, (prove it.) cast thy self down, for it is written. He shall give his angels charge concerning thee, and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone, Jesus said unto him. It is written again, ThosU shaft not tempt the Lord thy God.” Brother Gold, have you nev er been tempted to tempt God ? I have been; and have prayed. Lord, keep me from presumptions sins.— But the tempter is not yet done with him. He desires Jesus to worship him—lo bow down to. him—to ac knowledge him his lord and master— well knowing that if he could make him his subject all would be Ins.—-
Zion’s Landmarks (Wilson, N.C.)
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June 15, 1876, edition 1
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