162
Zion’s Landmark: Wilson, N. C.
Ills own language: he said “ They
shall believe as I do, or I’ll blow ev-
everything sky high.” The case re
sulted in his exclusion, and five or
j^ix others who followed him. He,
with most of them excluded with
him, joined the Missionary Baptists,
where he never had any religious en
joyment.
In this case we see, that in the
first place, he was overmuch right
eous, or particular; and, in the
second place, was overmuch wicked
and died before bis time came. I
learn, from good authority, that he
frequently said before he died, that
he never had any more religious en
joyment after his exclusion from the
Old School Baptist Church.
The following texts seem applica
ble : “ When Ephraim spake,
trembling, he exalted himself in Is
rael ; but when he otfended in Baal,
he died.”—Hos. IS: 1. “ If ye live
after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye
through the spirit do mortify the
deeds of the body, ye shall live.”—
Bom. 8: 13.
1 once attended a three-days’ meet
ing—a great many were there—and
I had no trouble in preaching during
the meeting. I baptized several.—
On my way home Monday, my re
flections were very pleasant. While
I was determining to preach more,
night and day, feeling confident that
the Lord was going to revive his
work abundantly—I got home and
found all well; and, before I’ctireing,
called the family together, and after
reading, talking, and praying zeal
ously—retired to rest pleasantly.—
Next morning I awoke early with
an aching heart, and an unusual
easiness, of mind, with great
I was ijq cl||isti^n,.
ister of .the p).«pel. l 'cc
nor read my Bible with any assur
ance ; was unfit for business of any
kind. Friday night sleep seemed to
have departed from me; before day
I determined to goto another Church
I was serving, and at least act the
part of an honest man (mortilying as
it was), and tell them plainly how I
had imposed myself upon them, and
^ that I never again intended to preach
—and at our next meeting where I
was a member, intended to have my
name erased from the Church Book ;
but, with great shame I went up in
to the pulpit and without singing or
attempting to pray, began telling my
dokful tale; when, in a moment, this
text rushed into my mind with
power, “ This is a faifhlul saying and
worthy of all acceptation, that Christ
Jesus came into the world to save sin
ners, of whom I am chief.” I then
went on and preached with as much
liberty and pleasure as ever I lial.
done before; and would not have
l>een separated from the brethren nor
Jiad my name erased for any consider^
ation.
This is one of a thousand or more
sneh cases, vvitli me, and witb a long
experience of .such unexpected chang
e's, I have greatly desired to determ
ine for myself, whether I am in the
valley of humiliation, or on the mount
of self-exaltation, Oh, how often I
have been deceived, with an experi
ence of more tlian forty years as a
professed raini.ster,' passing through
such strange and trying scenes, and
then reading of the liability of (the
primitive saints,) some of whom I
have referred to—to be deceived and
breome righteous overmuch, or ovor-
much wicked and fooli.sh, it makes
me tremble and wonder what will be
come of me: while a feeble petition
swells in my bosom, “ Lord, keep me
where I should be, and guide me
where I .should go, and take not thy
Holy Spirit from me, but by it pre
pare me that I may worship Thee in
sjnrit, rejoice in Christ Jesus and have
no confidence in the flesh; then I
shall never die before my time nor
foolishly destroy myself, nor inter
rupt tliy dear children.”
I have written more than I intend-
tended, so I will close. May the
Lord bless all bis poor and afflicted
people, and cause that we may all
strive to keep the unity of the Spirit
in the bond of peace.
Yours, in love,
D. W. Patman.
Scotland Neck, N. C.
JTy Dear Brother Gold:—
I have felt, for a long time, that I
wanted to write my experience; then
I concluded, that it is so small that I
am ashamed to let any of the breth
ren know it.
I believe I was convicted from a
child, though I was a very bad one.
The first impression I ever had was a
dream: I thought it w^as judgment
day, and that the world was going to
be destroyed. I thought we all had
to meet at the River where we would
be judged: the ones that were to be
saved were placed on the other side,
an4.ih(^fctli^t were tij he lo.',4.^\aer~/
saw such raaguificenr airrl^fes full
of finely dressed ladies and gentle
men, in perfect glee, as if they were
going to a ball; and when they got
to the river they attemptel to cross
but sank out of sight. Ever since
then when I would see a carriage full
of young people I would think of my
dream.
The year 1863 I spent at Shocco
Springs with many of my friends : I
often think oPthat time as a perfect
round of amusements, too tedious to
mention. The year after we left I
became in trouble about my brether
who was then in the army. I com
menced praying that he might be
spared to get back home,
and he w'as. During that year I
made a visit to an aunt of mine, in
Hertford County—she is a Missiona
ry. While there a tlioiight struck
me that I would read . tlie Bible
through; so I commenced by reading
two or three chapters a day ; I had
not been doing this \ry long before
I svas constrained to try to pray.
I went on in this way for several
months, and would go regularly with
mv aunt to meeting, but never felt
interested in the preacliing.
Very Soon a revival commenced,
and, I can safyly say, I never .saw
anvthing to equal it—such an excite
ment as they did have every day,—-
I think it lasted three weeks, and iu;
stead of becoming interested in the
meeting, I became thoroughly dis
gusted ; for, as soon as they would
commence preaching the mourners
would go u|>; aud grown men and
women would get down on the floor
at full length, and look like they
were dead, a:id remain in this condi
tion Avith the preachers and members
praying and singing, until time for
tbe meeting to close. Then they
would rise to their feet and go over
the meeting house telling what the
Lord had done for them. This con
tinued until all that were old enough
professed. They thought it so strange
that I would not go up io be prayed
for. I could not then tell, but since,
I have thanked the Lord for keeping
me from it.
I continued reading the Bible and
trying to pray. One day I was read
ing in that chapter Avliere there was
such a large multitude following
Christ: among them wa.s a poor wo
man who was desirous of getting near
him so she could touch the hem
of his garment, for she verily
believed she would be made whole.
AVhen I read it I exclaimed, O that
I could have been tliere, for I believe
just as she did 1 It made such an
impression on ray mind that T could
not get clear of it all day, Tliat
night when I kneeled down to pray,
I said, O Lord, if it is impo.ssible for
me to touch thy garment with rny
natural hand, I pray that I may
dream of it in my sleep
this night, for I feel that it would
satisfy n>e, Just as it did her! Sure
enough, tliat night I saw some one
like a man come to my bed, clothed
in pure white, and as briglit as the
sun; I reaehefl out my hand and
touched him, and commenced prais
ing the Loixl as^i woke ^p. My
trouble left me, bud I did not think
'it was a change mfr do I know it
now. Soon after this I received a
letter from my sister telling me about
the meeting that was going on here,
and how many had joined—herself
with several otlier of my friends were
among the number. I wrote her
that I was very sorry that I was
not with them, thinking perhaps if I
were to see them all so happy it might
have some effect on me, for I did not
know or think that I was under con
viction. If I ever was it was then.
I returned home pretty soon, and
they all spoke in the highest terms
of you, and said you preached sound
doctrine. As for myself, I knew
nothing about doctrine; but this I
know, when I would try to pray, this
would be the winding up of it: O
Lord, if I am lost it is just, and if I
am saved it is bv and through the
mercy of God ; for-1 can do nothing
good, but every day grow worse, I
never had before known that I was a
sinner, and the more I tried to do
good, the worse I got.
As I said, they told me you preach
ed sound doctrine. I went to hear
you, but it did not seem that I felt
like the rest; some of the time you
preached to suit me, then it would be
to tlie contrary. We then lived at
the Academy, which is very near the
Church. I concluded I would stoj)
going to phureh, for I liked to hear
a man preach the same doctrine all
the time;'for, I certainly believed it
was salvation by grace alone, or it
was by works. I was not established,
but did beUeve it was either the one
or the other, I continued >» in thi.'A
way until 1868, when Elder Ha.ssell
came up and preached >iie night—
yon remember well the time. I nev
er will forget my feelings while he
was jweacliing; it was all that I
could do to stiiy in my .•rat ; I was
so happy I wanted to go in the pul
pit and throw my arms around hi.s
neck. I then said, I believe that is
the gospel ! tho’ I had never hoard it
before. From that time I began to
love preaching; and very soon after
that I begun to love to hear you
preach—tho’ you preached dilferent;
but, perhaps the fault was in me.
But one thing I do know, that while
I liked to hear you, preach, some of
your members did not, and sto[>pe’cl
going to hear you. 1 can s;iy with a
truth, the m.ore I hear you the more
I want io.
I continued in this condition un
til two years ag> last April, when
T began to leel like I wanted to l>e
baptized. Then, I wouUl think what
I would tell when I went before the
Church. I knew the Baptists re
quired an exjAcrieuce; and I had
none. That worried me, to think I
wanted to be with them, and could
not becau.se I bad no experience to
relate. I thought if I could conscien
tiously join any other Church I would
do it; but, no other would do for me,
for I was satisfied that the Baptists
Avere the only ones that preached the
truth.
While in this condition, not know
ing Avhat to do, you wrote an article
for the Landmark, explaining dif
ferent experiences. While some had
a sudden and bright raanife-station,
otjjws were . not so. For instance,
sonje Avere lil^
sand, the bag
large enough for a small quantity
to lose out. Of course Avlien it Avas
all out he did not feel as he would if
he could have thrown it all off at
once. Just as soon as I read it I be
gan to rejoice, for I thcfught if I ever
had a change, it Avas like that. Then
- I* resolved to not put it off any longer.
It was just before our first Union. I
thought I Avould write to Elder Has-
.sell, telling him that I wanted hint
t« come up prepared to baptize me.
No .sooner than I had made up my
mind to do it, when this thought
occurred to me : You are going to do.
s mietliing you never heard of. Then
I thought I Avould wait till I went
down. So, this satisfied me and my
mind Avas at ease. But, the most re
markable thing is, Avhen Elder Has
sell came up, he visited us the day be
fore the meeting commenced. When
he got up to leave he told a'l good
bye in the room, and Avhen he told
me good-bye he held me by the band
and said: “ I am going to open the
doors in Conference—will yon not go
AYith us?” I was never so surprised
in my life, for I had never told any
one of it, and he had never named the
subject to me before. I never
thought that he had any idea that I
wanted to join. I did not make any
reply to him—it was too late then—
for I had made up my mind to wait
until I went down, vAdiieh I did. I
never will forget that day—it was
the happiest one I ever spent. The
only thing that happened to mar my
pleasure AA-as this : it was a cold, dis-
V-