Newspapers / The Carolina Times (Durham, … / Nov. 13, 1982, edition 1 / Page 15
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I, SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 13, 1982 THE CAROLINA TIKES 15 ...... ... VAWAVMV.WW.yZWCW'I'IWW I t-imuwiiiK aic mjiiic simnip crpnc that un rhn,.M : follow in order to enhance the probability of s ic- $ vAjpiIlg cess in' your relationship; r ' -K 1 x l. Many people who are involved in the emotionally Qi 1 ppPCC Tn YOlir KelcltlOnSnlD tormenting experience of a separation or a divorce OULACdd 11 X VUl iwiuuvnuin . iiki i i . t ..... . - : v ' ...',"'. otten say, n i nau oniy Known."' it is as it certain information was obtained during the trial and tribulation of the relationship that would have per suaded the mates to refrain from developing a close "relationship if they had obtained the information in advance. However, contrary to what most people believe, second marriages are less successful than first marriages. This seems to indicate that either mates do not learn from previous experience, blame the "abnormal" mate for the previous breakup (thereby failing to modify their own future behavior), or become so emotionally entangled in the new relationship that they lead with the heart in stead of the head. Many people make the same mistakes over and over again and wonder why they are not happy. 1. Similarity and compatibility are of utmost im portance. The more that you have in common with your mate culturally, socially, financially and psychologically the better are your chances of -A ' A -3 ... future happiness. Variations and differences in lifestyle are acceptable if they fulfill the basic emo tional and psychological needs of each of the mates. , This is known as compatibility. 2. Select a mate whose goals in life are similar to yours, if you don't know, ask. Then, observe to see if your potential mate's actions are compatible with his or her statements. , 3. Don't expect your mate to change. You may be a very impressive and , intelligent person. The likelihood of you changing the behavior of your mate is not very good even if your mate promises to change, Psychologists, human behaviorists and psychiatrists make a great deal of money attempting to change the behavior of people but even they have only limited success. , 4. Don't allow sexual attraction or the need for the sexual experience to beepme the sole, or even primary, reason to adopt a mate. This is especially, true if you desire a lengthy and enduring relation ship. If your mate's attraction is primarily sexual, you can expect the sexual attractiveness to diminish once the emotions cool off. You will be amazed at the loss of sexual attractiveness that occurs natural ly and that occurs following your first argument. . , 5. Take your time in selecting a mate. Selections that are made in haste or on the spur of fhe moment tend to be primarily emotional. When the emotions cool off, as they are certain to, happiness in the relationship might also cool off. If the attraction that initially exists between your mate and yourself is genuine, h will stand the test of time; it will last if it is solid. ' , 6. Be prepared to compromise. If your primary goal is to satisfy your own emotional and physical needs and you have not given conscious thought as to how you are going to satisfy your partner s needs, you are in for trouble. Successful relation- : ships are mutually fulfilling; your mate is a person with emotional needs just as you are. If those needs are not met, he or she will lose interest in you just as you will lose interest if your needs are not met. 7. In a relationship both persons must give up a part of their independence and must become a team having common goals and fairly common means of meeting them. You can't have your cake and eat it too. If you want to be happy with someone else, you must give. However, you also retain a degree of your individuality because you can offer new ex citing insights to your relationship. Respect your . mate's individuality. 8. Finally, don't give in too easily. Allow yourself to be pursued as you pursue your mate. This retains the excitement and gives courtship a continuing and thrilling quality. The winter season is upon us again and we at North State Legal Services have started receiving calls from people concerning utility payments and possible cut-offs. Several utility companies in North Carolina have filed for rate increases with the N.C. Utilities Commission. As you may have noticed, several companies have received permission to raise their rates. In November 1979, the Utilities Commission issued an order which offered protection to low in come and handicapped individuals concerning gas and electric service cut-offs during the winter mon ths. The order covers regulated gas and electric com panies only. It does not cover wood, oil, coal, bottl ed gas, or some cooperative and municipally owned companies. Among the companies which are sub ject to this order are Carolina Power and Light, Civil Rights Journal The Beginning I of the End Plain Talk About The Law Utility Cut-Offs Duke Power Company, Pinehurst, Inc., Piedmont Natural Gas Company, Public Service Company of North Carolina, and Virginia Electric and Power Company. . : ' ' From November 1 through March 31, these com panies cannot stop your service without express ap proval of the N.C. Utilities Commission IF YOU CAN show that: I) An elderly (65 or over) or handicapped persons By North State Legal Services & lives in your house; AND 2) You cannot afford to pay the utility bill in part or in full; AJD 3) You are certified as eligible for Low Income Energy Assistance by the Department of Social Ser vices. (You don't have actually to received Low In come Energy Assistance to qualify.) If you do not meet all three of the above condi tions, you can also prevent a cut-off by paying monthly installments. The Company must inform you of the opportunity to work out a reasonable in stallment agreement designed to bring your account into balance within six rilonths of the agreement. If you are hav ing trouble paying your gas or elec tric bill this winter, contact the company as soon as possible to work out a payment plan. Jf you know of an elderly or handicapped person who lives on a. fixed income, let them know about this important information. The Public Staff of the North Carolina Utilities Commission is also available to handle consumer complaints concerning utility companies, if necessary. Their number in Raleigh is 733-4271. Subscribe To The Carolina Times Call 682-2913 Today!!! By Charles E. Cobb Executive Director United Church of Christ Commission for Raciaf Justice The people have spoken and loudly voic ed a vote o'f no con fidence in Reaganomics. Americans have sent a shock wave to the White House signalling a return of government by, of, and for all the people and not a select few. The electorate demonstrated . a high - degree - of sophistication and was not diverted from the issues that most directly affect the elderly, the poor, the disabled, and blacks. We were not per suaded by the ad-, ministration's rhetoric nor its theatrics. In 1980, the voting public wanted a change but in 1982, these same voters who caused what has been characterized as a "landslide"., are- ob viously strll :seektng)hat change. One of the im mediate conclusions to be drawn from the '82 vote is that Americans place the problems of people above partisan politics. The public's perception of the nation's desperate state of affairs was clearly reflected in the Alabaifflr gubernatorial elections where black voters were forced to choose George Wallace as -the s liberal alternative to .the Republican candidate. Qn the other hand, I (Continued on Page 16) h nrrnnrPCTTinn 7 wuL-a .". "" - ... Most Christmas Club accounts don't pay ;jends. Mutual Interest. A we still have all our regular savings plans. -. Day Certificates, Thlrtymorrtti Small Savers . eSrHfleatts. High-Interest Seven Day Certificates, JlSavr Plan and IRA.. To name a few. oSeTour plans Is just right for you. ; t. t ; i:-f, : . tl ufl . ) ) I I ju b J K J y I il ?M J i : : 1 mutual savings & ban association 112 west parrish strcd durham. north Carolina 27702 m 688-1308 Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 17 mg. "tar, 1.4 mg. nicotine av. per cisaratt by methol
The Carolina Times (Durham, N.C.)
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Nov. 13, 1982, edition 1
15
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