Hertford County Herald Published Every Friday by VINSON * PARKER Owners I J. ROY PARKER Editor JAMES S. VINSON Subscription Price One Year ? $1.60 Six Months .76 Three Months .40 Advertising Rates Very reasonable and made known on request. Entered as second-class mail matter February 26, 1910, at the j>osoffice at Ahoskie, North Carolina, under the Act of March 8, 1878. Foreign Advertising Representative 1 THE AMERICAN PRESS ASSOCIATION | FRIDAY, DEC. 22, 1922 THE HERALD'S WISH Imbibing some of the holiday spirit and with an inward in clination directly antagonistic to editorial writing, there is go ing to be nothing to this column but a sincere wish that every HERALD reader will not only be filled with the true Christ mas spirit, but will,enjoy his best Christmas in a lifetime. TROUBLE CREEPS IN With two hours* more to go, rep resenting about three additional col umns of reading matter, and a few corrections to matter already in type, our typesetting machine stripped a cog last Thursday night at twelve, and prevented the publication of three news letters and other copy intended for last week's issue. An emergency appeal to the two Norfolk papers brought to us two new cogs Saturday, and we are thus en. ahled to get out this issue on time. Had it not been for our Norfolk neighbors, the issue for this week would hnve been delayed several days. * WILL STAGE BIG * * TIME DECEMBER 25 * * The following lot tor of invito- * * tion ku boon mailed to several * * hundred porooao in Ahoelrie tnd * * community, and to torero! rep- * * reeentative citixont of nearby * * towns: * * CHAMBER OF COMMERCE * * Chester O. Harris ? * Ahoskio, N. C. * * December, 19, 1922. * * Fellow Members and Friends: * * The AHOSKIE CHAMBER ? * OF COMMERCE withes yon a * * very Merry Christmas and a Hap- ? * py New Year. ? * Wo extend a cordial invitation " * to you and your friends to attend * * our COMMUNITY CHRISTMAS ? * TREE to be held on Christmas ? * night in the COOPERATIVE ? * WAREHOUSE from eight till ? * eleven o'clock. * * A program of vocal and in- * * strumental music has been or- * * ranged, a special program by the * * children of the High School will ? * be rendered, there will be TWO * * basket ball games, one between * * the local beys and another high * * school team, and the other be- * * tween two girl teams of tho city. ? * There will be fun for all{ and, * * we want you to enjoy it with as. * * Sincerely, ? * AHOSKIE CHAMBER OF COM- * * MERCE. ? * By V. D. STRICKLAND, ? * President. * * Chester O. Harris, Sec. * * P.S.?There will be a com- * * munity Christmas tree for the * * children in the afternoon at * * Phaup's warehouse. * ueeeeeeeeeoo * ** ??*',?> ? J,-- ... a ... It is false economy for a county to dispense with either the farm agent or the home agent. In hard times the farmer and his wife need these two advisors more than ever. Elver thought of giving you son a partnership in the farm business? Present the matter to him this Christ Simple designs are the most beau-j tiful. The best dressed woman is one of whom people do not say "what a beautiful gown," but rather "what a beautiful woman." What would your community be like without your home town paper? A ten year old boy beat his daddy in the show ring at the Pinahurst Pair and won $66 as the beat show man at the fair. Ha had boon trained in dab work. OFFICE CAT] TftAO* HANK - W 4 CO*r?iOMT IMM ALLAN MOM. THE OFFICE CAT WILL GET YOU. Oh, Junius, the Office Cat, has come to town to stay, An' talk about the good folks, and all the things they say, An' look into the scandals and help to spread them too, An' make folks feel quite awful, just like all old cats do. So, if you have a skeleton within your closet hid, Just take it out and bury it beneath a castiron lid. For Junius is sneakin' and a pokin' all about And the Office Cat will get you Ef you Don't Watch Out. An' if you are a married man, a slyin' out alone, An' tryin to make a chicken think you have no wife at home; An' if you have some moonshine brewin' in your shed, An' if you use Sage Tonic on a very bald old head, An' if you take your sweetheart out and hug her in the park, An' if you have a birthday and then keep it in the dark, You'd better be real careful, for .1 know without a doubt, That the Office Cat will get you Ef you Don't Watch Out. An' if yon are a gunman and just shut your eyes and shoot, An' if your car knocks someone down you "step on her" and skoot, An' if you go out fishin' and come home without a one, An' you tell an awful whopper and make folks think you caqght a ton, An' if the city fathers have a sassy, breezy scrap, An' if for humor columns you do not give a rap, I hope you'll watch your step, and it will do no good to pout. For the Office Cat will get you Ef you Don't Watch Out. Having posed for a photograph and otherwise revealing my identity, next in order comes the business of select ing a name?and Junius is my name. Henceforth, it will be Junius; and you'd better keep that admonition? "Ef you Don't watch out"? ever be fore you if you've said or done some thing you care not for the howling mob to learn. "Just what I expected, except that the victory was ever more complete than 'Billy's' staunchest friends had dreamed of," says K. T. Raynor, in speaking of the overturning of the anti-Poteat propoganda that has wag ed among North Carolina Baptists for more than twelve months, anent the teaching of atehistic evolution within Wake Forest College. rwv.?? nrAi,n AknoUa vwici naive rwivov uivn *11 *??voa?v and eommunity express no surprise at all In their former. mentor's complete vindication, resulting from his speech, at the State Baptist Convention. I do not trot with those who hold that Christmas gifts should be Of Nature sternly practical? It matters not to me. If in my festive sock I find, When Comes the Yuletide dawn, Some gift for which I have no use? I'll merely pass it on. L'ENVOI I do, however, yearn to kill That Yuletide pest sublime Who holds a present back until I've spent my last thin dime. "I used to take this paper, but when my time ran out, I tried another; then along came a third subscription solici tor and I added my name to the list of another weekly. My time has about expired with both, and here I come back to the Old Reliable. Here, take this plunk and a half, for which send me the HERALD twelve months." Those are the words one fellow spoke to the Editor last Satur day. And, say it sun did make him swell up. Right on the heels of it, three other subscribers called around to express themselves thusly?"It was the best issue of the HERALD I have seen in many days." They were talking about the Shoppers' Edition of last week. Along about that time both manager and editor swelled up to such proportions that I began to think seriously about giving them both a brand new hat for Christmas?the old ones simply were too small. QUICK-WITTED At D. L. Myers A Co. recently, an Ahoslde lady who was paying for the repairs on her husband's watch, inquired what was the trouble with it. fL Jeweler: A hair got tangled in the hair spring. Lady (Anxiously): "What color was it? Jeweler (promptly): Exactly the color of yours, madam. "You might mention in your col umns that there is some mud on the streets of Ahoskie," one local man re marked to the CAT Monday. Of course, it is not news; but, then, the CAT does not always confine himself to mere news. He likes to chew the rag. "It is going to be one great Christ mas for Ahoskie children," is the way the chamber of commerce directors are saying it. They expect to "say it with Santa Claus" on Christmas af ternoon at the tobacco warehouse. "What's all that noise gwine on ovah at you' houdfe last night?" asked an old colored woman of another. Sounded like a lot of catamounts done broke loose." > "Do? Why dat was nuthin' only.de gen'man from the furniture store collecting his easy payments." DISGUISED Young Lady?Were you pleased with the new school, little boy? Little Boy?Naw! Dey made me wash me face an' when I went home de dorg bit me 'cause he didn't know me. Banker Strickland says lending money is a fine way to improve your memory. Alarm clock prices are back to pre war figures, as the children come home now just in time to wake the old folks up. A candidate for the position of the world's meanest man has appeared in the person of the editor of a small Missouri newspaper, who published the following item in bis "Social Gov sip", column: "Miss Jones, a young lady of 20 summers, is now on a visit to her twin brother, aged 31." SURE ENOUGH "What in the world are you staring at that maried couple so intently for?" asked one young lady of anoth er on the train. "Oh!" said the other girl with a start and a sigh. "It's so natural for us girls to contemplate matrimony, you know." SMALL AMBITION Bailey Barnes says the man who is entirely satisfied with himself wants but little here below. When a girl is so bow-legged that she can wear a parenthesis for stock ings she juS^ naturally has no use for short skirts. It is sometimes said that the office seeks the man, but usually breaks his neck to have it find him. Every day is Decoration day with the Flapper. GIVES RECIPES FOR CAKES AND CANDIES Housewives who are looking for something good for Christmas, or young ladies who want to send their fellows some sweets during the Yule tide are given below a number of recipes for making special candies and cakes. Miss Myrlte Swindell, County Home Demonstrator, sent these to the HERALD with the request to publish them. Here they are: MEASUREMENTS T.?Tablespoon t?teaspoon C.?Cup ?? Qts.?Quarts ' All measurements are level. POPCORN 1 C. corn syrup (Karo) 1-2 C. sugar 1-2 t soda 1 T. butter 4 qts. popped corn BoR syrup and sugar to the soft ball stage, then add soda and butter. Pour over popped corn, cool and shape into balls. CHOCOLATE FUDGE 8 C. sugar 1 C. milk or cream ' 8 ounces chocolate ? 8 T. butter 1 to flavoring Mix the sugar, milk and grated ' I chocolate. Boll gently to the "eoft ball" stage. Just before removing from fire add the butter; then beat the mixture until it thickens. Add flavoring, and pour into a buttered pan. Cut into squares. PEANUT BUTTER FUDGE Same as chocolate fudge except use 6 T. peanut butter in place of the chocolate. PEANUT BRITTLE 2 C. sugar 2 C. parched peanuts Melt sugar in a shallow pan when it becomes - a golden brown colored syrup, add the nuts, pour into a but tered pan, press into shape and set away t