POBTBT.
FROST AKUELS.
BY MINNIE J. OWJUEY.
They came last night, with myotic grace,
And p&oaed beside each window pane.
And soon with clear, artistic face.
They painted many a fallen fane.
They landscape* made, with rocky mounU
And fairy dells, where moon-beams shone
Upon the clearly flowing founts
Whose waters were like light alone.
They painted forests, dim and old,
With trees whose trunks were crystalued ;
They clothed the maples from tke oold -
With snowy flakes, by warmth despised;
They churches made, with stately spires.
And castles proud, with nobles grand ;
They built strange shrines, whose altar fires
Were yet unlit by priestly hand.
And over all the lovely scene
They wreathed a wreath of shining flowers
They turned and left a mystic sheen,
Before the morning's rosy hours, *
Then soared away,—we know not where;
Their forms are ever to us lost;
We see their window-pictures fair,
And bloss the Angels of the Frost.
■IBCELLANT.'
llow I was Hold.
You may remember that I lectured
lately lor the young gentlemeu of the
L'laytonian Society. During the after
noon of the day I was talking with
one of the young men referred to, and
lie said lie had an uncie who, from some
cause or other, seemed to have grown
permanently bereft of all emotion, and
with tears in his eyes, this young man
said: "Oh, if I could only see him laugh
once more! Oh, if I could only see lum
weep!" I was touched. I never could
withstand distress. I said, "Bring him
to my lecture. I'll start him for you."
"Oh, if you could but do it. If you
could do it all our family would bless
you forevermore; for he is very dear
to us. Oh, my benefactor, can you
make him laugh T Can you bring
soothing tears to these parcned orbs T"
I was profoundly moved. I said:
"My son, Dring the old party around.
I have got some good joKes in my lec
ture that will malte him laugh if there
is any laugh in him ; and if they miss
tire, I have got some others that will
make him cry or kill him, one or the
other."
• Then the young man wept on my
neek, and presently spread both his
hands on my head and looked up to
ward heaven mumbling something
reverently; and then went after his
uncle. He placed him in full view, in
the second row of benches, that night,
and I began on him. I tried him with
mild iokes— then with severe ones. I
dosed him with bad jokes and riddled
him with good ones; I fired old, stale
jokes into him and peppered,him fore
aud aft with red-hot new " ones. I
warmed up to ray work, and assaulted
him on the right and left, in front and
behind; I fumed, and charged and
■anted. till I was hoarse and sick, and
frantic and furious; but I neyer moved
him once—l never started a smile or
tear | never a ghost of a smile, never a
suspicion of moisture! I was aston
ished. 1 closed the lecture at last with
f- one despairing shriek—with one wild
burst of humor—and hurled a joke of
supernatural atrocity full at him. Then
1 sat down bewildered aud exhausted.
The president of the society came up
and bathed . my, head with cold water,
and said:
"What made you carry on so toward
the last 1"
"I said, "I was trying to make that
confounded old idiot laugh, iu the
second row."
And he said: "Well, you were wast
ing your time, because he is dead
and dumb, and as blind as a badger.'
Now, was that any way for that old
man's nephew to impose on a stranger
aud an orphan like me!—[Mark Twain.
Tke Cereufs Bey.
He is a boy of deep thought, and is
much given to deductions. The ooroner
is not his father, but he is a lad who
was engaged to mind the ofioe, shake
up the ooal stove and ask inquiries.
He is a good boy, and has learned to
sympathize with reporter!. When there
has been an inquest the boy puts on a
oheerful look and has the whole oase so
that he can tattle it off from beginning
to end.
"Awful sad ease," he says to a re
porter. "They fonnd the old man
hanging to a beam in the woodshed
stiff ana oold. Splendid chance for yon
to say that his wide-open eyes seem to
glare down upon the ooroner, and
one arm stretched out, as if to
hands with the grim monster death.
You ean say that the body swayed to
and fro in the night breeae blowing in
through a broken pane, and that an owl
sat on the beam over the ooxpee and
uttered his mournful hoo-hoo W
And then he rube his hands, his smile
grows broader, and he oontianee :
"Business has begua to pick on, and
there may b« an inquest every day for
awesk. Hops so, for I like to see
business moving and money eoming in.
leoking every day for a ease of
) ! a ®*^ er r^ hro * t from ear to ear—
Wood stains on the wall-blood stained
kmfe on the floor—of A fearful
struggle—desperate villain, aad so
"7niaont happen to be around
I*U Mad a boy down/
Bat there are other days when he is
■•d-aad H ys to the reporter :
"Nothing to-day. I'm sorry, bnt you
know wa posh business as gtoeers
do. Advertising wouldn't help us a
cent's worth, sad the holiday season is
no better than aqy other sssson. 1 wish
we had a *ae foryoa, and if anything
turns up I'll eotne down myself and
give jou the points. There's lota of
foks who mights* welleoaunlt suicide
as not, but they dont seem to oare
whether the ooroner has one ease a
month or none at aIL Be patient, and
 well tay sad tun up something to
morrow." ,
Who ean help but oontraet arever
enoe for saeh a boy ? —Detroit Free
Pre**, _ _ , ,
A subscriber to a paper died a few
days ago. Waving loir years subscrip
tion unpaid. The editor appeared at
the grave when the lid was being
screwed down the last time aad put in
the ooffln a palm leaf fan, a linen ooat,
aad a thermometer, whioh is only used
in warm climates.
>«BICULTCBAL.
MANGE IN HORSES— This disease is
produoed by an insect, Acarus equi, of
the same family as the itch insect in
man. Mange is highly oontagious.
Every other animal should be removed
and closely watched. The slightest
contact, or the use of the same clothes,
brushes or currycombs will carry the
disease. This acarus, when viewed
under a microscope, lias eight legs,
ending cup form, which enable it to ad
here. They burrow under the epider
mis or scarf skin. The cure is seldom
effected without recourse to medicine.
The horse mnst be fad with oooling
food, bran mashes, and sound hay and
oats.
If the animal is in good flesh, give
twelve ounoes of Epsom or Glauber
salts, dissolved in a pint and a half of
warm water to be given when cool.
Then take of powdered mandrake, sul
phur, cream of tartar and sassafras,
each two ounces; rub them thoroughly
together; divide into parts and
give one night and morning in the feed.
Wash the animal thoroughly with
strong soap suds; or, better, with a
suds made of soap; then
sponge the surface with lime water, and
when dry, anoint by means of a sponge
with the following :
Four ounoes of pyroligenous acid ;
three ounoes of linseed or lard oil: one
ounce of spirits of turpentine ; and one
of flowers of sulphur. Put all into a
bottle and shake . thoroughly before
using, rubbing it thoroughly. Apply
once a day for three days, then wash as
before directed, and again apply, and
so until a oure is effected, keeping the
animal warmly clothed all the while.
Every portion of the stable, manger,
rack, etc., must be washed in strong
Boap suds in which an ounce of oar.
bolic acid crystals to each gallon has
been dissolved ; after whioh every por
tion should be washed with a lime wash
in which carbolic crystals in the pro
portion of one in a hundred have been
dissolved. All the clothing, curry
combs, etc., must be thoroughly
cleansed, in boiling soap suds, in which
an ounoe of carbolic acid to each gallon
has been dissolved. The harness and
halters must be taken apart and washed
with the same preparation as hot as the
hand can bear, and thereafter thor
oughly fumigated by hanging in a close
plaoe, over the fumes of burning sul
phur.
It would be well to keep, for a con
siderable time, a mixture of half a
pound of sulphur in a pint of oil of tar,
and rub thoroughly in any parts that
may be suspected, washing it off every
third or fourth day with warm soap
suds.
Horses affected will give this itoh to
oattle, and dogs to horses. Therefore,
we have been thus explicit indirections
for oure ; for onoe in the stables, it will
never be eradioated without the most
thorough means to this end.
EABLY SPRING VEGETABLES.— We sup
pose that not even the most praotioal
epicures enjoy their dainty dishes more
than the average human being does his
early vegetables ; and considering how
comparatively is to have some
of these the wo&defr is that more is not
done to get them. The reason, perhaps
is that few think of it till the spring
time comes, when it is too late to do
tauoh in the way of getting them. This
is the time to begin to think about
these things. Many vegetables start
into growth with very little heat, and
even the protection of a ienoe will often
bring things forward some days before
thofte whioh have ground and bleak
winds to oontend with. We know a
garden in Montgomery County, near
this city, which has but a low wall of
about (our feet high around it; but
even this is a wonderful screen from
oold winds. Up under the north wall
of the little garden, in the full southern
sun, is the rhubarb and the asparagus,
and thia little advantage alone gives
them near two weeks start on their
neighbors with these two vegetables.
It is not always convenient, or even de
sirable, to have a wall like this, but al
most anyone can have a thick arbor
vitas hedge, whioh will answer nearly
as well.
Let all who have gardens look around
just now and see what oan be done.
They will And more chances for these
little family enjoyments than many of
them ever dreamed of, and no doubt
will thank us for the suggestion when
they find how well their thoughtfulness
now is rewarded by the fullness of early
spring garden things.
t •
SOOT AS A GARDEN FEHTILIZBB.—Per
hsps it may have occurred to some of
our lady friends that the refuse soot of
our chimneys is one of the most valua
ble stimulants and fertilisers they
have for their garden flowers. Th« fol
lowing incident of praotioal experienoe
is from s lady contributor (o an ex
ehange: "Coring two seasons we
turned, fed and petted the Hartford
prolific grape vine as much for iu
shads over tne window as for its fruit
but it persisted in remaining a stunted
cane, yellow, and refusing to olimb.
Despairing s shade, grapes and roses,
we finally bethought ourselves of soot
ss a manure, and forwith made a "soot
tea " by steeping a teacup of soot ia a
quart of water. This we administered,
two doses each, to both the tree* and
vine. The vine grow six feet in height
in the speoe of six weeks, and the roee
bush fonr ffcetin >he same length of
time—both therefore rejoioed in living
green.
BCOAB PROM Bun.—The manufac
ture of Btnr from beats needs snast
dalioate chemical prooeeaee to get rid
of the salts, which interfere with the
extraction of the sngsr. It is dif
ficulty whioh has hitherto oanaad mmay
bllunm in baa* svgnr making, and in a
■Bull way it would prohibit the domes
tic manufacture altogether. For kweets
for home use, that oan be prodnoed
npon the farm, there is nothing better
than syrup from sorghnaa. This ean
be mane in a small way as easily aji
maple sugar.
A PAWT oompoeed of sirap and Cay
enne pepper, and applied to halter,
manger, or neokyoke, will not readily
rnb or wash off, and is always to recfp
rocate the attention of a gnawing horse
—in fact, to give bite for bite.
SCIENTIFIC.
The Bottom of the Ska. —Among
scientific puzzles is one which has long
perplexed geologists, namely, the ex
istence of large areas of rock containing
no sign of life, side by side with forma
tions of the same period which are full
of fossile—relics of primeval life. Why
should one be so barren, and the other
so prolific ? There is now an answer to
this important question, and readers
who take interest in the exploring voy
age of the Challenger will be glad to
learn that the answer comeß from that
ship, in a paper written by Dr. Wyville
Thomson, chief of the scientific staff on
board. This paper was read last month
at a meeting of the Royal Society. It
contains the results of deep sea sound
ings which have revealed the existence
of vast areas of barren clay at the bot
tom of the sea, in depths varying from
two thousand two hundred to four
thousand fathoms and more. In other
parts, the bottom is composed of the
so-called globigerina, which live near
tho surface, and sink to the bottom
when dead. There they accumulate,
building up chalk for ages to come,
when land and sea shall once more
change places. But it is remarkable
that, at the depth of two thousand two
hundred fatfioms, the globigerina thin
off and diJßpear, and the gray deposit
merges barren clay above men
tioned. The explanation is that, below
two thousand fathoms, the tinv shells
of the globigerina are dissolved by
some action of the water, and that the
minute quantity which they oontain of
alumina and iron goes to form the areas
of- barren "clay. The extent of these
areas is so great that it exceeds all
others as yet known at the bottom of
the sea, and it is the most devoid of
life. ?4 this respect, the red clay now
forming resembles the scfyiflt which at
present occupies so large a part of our
earth's surface.
We are all more or less familiar with
chalk and with rocks that show no sign
of fossils ; and to be thus, bo to speak,
made eye witnesses, of the process by
which chalk and rook were formed is
unusually interesting. An eminent na
turalist deolares that this paper alone
is worth all the cost of the Challenger
expedition.— Chambers' Journql.
REPRODUCTION OF OLD THOUGHTS.-
On the above theme, a writer in Black
wood thus discourses : Nothing is more
strange than the incessant reproduction
of old thoughts under the guise of new
and advanced opinions. It would seem
as if the human mipd, with all its rest
less aotivitv, were destined to revolve
in an endless circle. Its progress is
marked by many ohanges and discov
eries ; it sees and understands far more
dearly the facts that lie along the line
of its route, and the modes or laws
under whioh these faots occur ; but this
route in its higher levels always returns
upon itself, Nature and all its secrets
become better known, and the powers
of Nature are brought more under hu
man oontrol; but the souroes of Nature
and life and thought—all the ultimate
problems of being—never beoome more
clearly intelligible. Not only so, but
the last efforts of human reasoning on
these subjects are even as the first.
Differing in form, and even sometimes
not greatly in form, they are in sub
stanoe the same. Bold aa the course
of scientific adventure has seemed for a
time, it ends very much as it began ;
and men of the nineteenth centnry look
over the same abysses of speculation as
did their forefathers thousands of years
before. No philosophy of theism can
be said to have advanced beyond the
book of Job; and Professor Tyndall,
addressing the world from the throne
of modern science—which the chair of
the British Association ought to be—
repeats the thoughts of Democritus and
Epicurus as the last guesses of the
modern scientific mind.
To PBBVXMT TH* FREEZING OP WATER
PIPES.—Any plan for preventing the
freezing of water-pipes during these
cold snaps will be welcome. The fol
lowing described plan for accomplish
ing this object has been invented in
England :
i It is well known that when water
freezes it expands, and that the foroe
exerted ii so enormous that no pipe can
resist it. This invention is to
give the water a chance to expand with
out bursting the pipe. It attempts this
bv securing in the inside of the metal
pipe, a space equal to the difference of
volume between water and ioe, so when
the water freezes it oooupies the spaoe
reserved for it instead of exerting its
foroe on the pipe and bursting it. This
is practically carried out by passing
through the water-pipe a small India
rubber tube, specially made for the
purpose, and of such diameter that the
spaoe inside it is a little more than
equal to the increase in volume of the
jee. The India rubber tube is always
full of air, td thfct ' when the water
freezes it finds the neoeaaaiy space for
expansion, for by compressing the air
tube it displaces the air and takes its
plaee. When the ioe melts the tube
again expands, becomes filled with air,
and iirsady for another frost, and so
on for any number of times without re
quiring attention.- -W
N*w Srzut or PHOTO PORTRAITS.
The pieturea are made upon the white
ferrotype plate, which is now beinir
manufactured largely, and which oom
bines with great beauty the most sim
ple manipulations and all the ad van
25^CTS!R TA
The plate being of a rery pure white
and properly prepared, all that is ne-
is to pour on the ooUodio-~
ohloride, dry it by a gentle heat,
it to Tapor of annoua for a short time
and then print very alightly deeper
than it is desired, to be when finiahei
It is washed, toned, and fixed in a aim.
liar manner to the ordinary mode fol
lowed in making porcelain pieturea.
The remit is s listnre of ezoeediof
delicacy and durability.
IH FLuoonia screw holes in
work, glue only the edge of the ping;
put no glue in thshole. Pass a sponge
of hot water over brad holes, and, when
diy.saDdpaper and paint The putty
m **, after the wood &
swelled, will not meet the brad head.
DOMESTIC.
Telkrk is nothing more useful in a
house than celery. The outsides will
serve $s flavoring for sdup, and the
hearts cooked for the table, or to be
eaten with cheese. First of all, remove
the outside leaves from the hearts, and
trim the roots—not cut them off : Have
two large pans of water, one of warm,
the other of cold water ; wash each
outside stem of the oelery in warm
water with a brush, and throw i$ into
the cold water, also the hearts, and all
gravel, insects, and dirt will fall from
the celery at once. Take all the out
side pieces and pare away every faulty
and discloured bit; then split each
piece iH two, or three or four, and cut
it crossways in very small bits, and put
it into a pie-dish. The hearts of the
celery must be laid aside in water, and
when a head or more is wanted it can
be taken from the water and out in
proper shape to be served at table, but
before it is put into the last water any
discoloured bit must be cut from it.
To the small oelery in the pie-dish add
one or two large tnvnips pared thin,
then cut downwards from the head to
the root in a dozen cuts, but not separa
ting the turnip ; then turn the turnip
round in the hand and cut it the other
way in a number of cuts ; hold it on a
plate and cut it across. The turnip«
will now fall into many square pieces.
A carrot may be cut in the same way,
thjs mixture wijl last for a week to
into cold soup, stock, or broth, and
well boiled; to give flavor to it. Thus
there is tbjift xji &n;e • and thrift of
for it fcak£ft' :ijo longer to
prepare this for the consumption of a
weeTi than it does for one day. More
over, oelery thus prepared will keep
good, cgisp and well-flavored for a fort- •
night—often for a longer time.
PHILOSOPHY OP CLOTHES.— The Satur
day Jteview has something rather
original to say of life when its principal
object is the construction or wear
ing of fashionable clothes. Its ob
servations are suggested by the exami
nation of a journal published for the
tailors' trade :
"Life all drapery, or at least, life
viewed exclusively in it« relation to
drapery, oertainly presents, a novel and
surprising aspect. Political questions,
for example, are studied only with
reference to the gowns and bonnets
whioh they are supposed to he likely to
bring into fashion. It would appear
that the fluctuations of Frenoh parties
keep the drapers and milliners and
their customers in a state of perpetual
agitation. At one moment the Oount
of Ohambord is thought to be coming
to the front, and fleurs de lis and
oostumes of the reign of Francis I, and
Henry IV, have to be prepared in haste.
These have soon after to give way to
bees and eagles and Imperial fashions,
while, at the same time, Republicanism
has to be recognized by a revival of the
eccentricities of the merveilleuses and
incroyahles, It may Beem strange to a
philosophical mind that English ladies
should be obliged to change the cut
and oolor of their dresses whenever a
new tarn is given to political intrigue
in Prance. Perhaps, when woman's
suffrage is established, we shall find
our ewn domestio questions elevated
into their natural prominence in this
respeot. The weather is watched by
the draper with as intense interest as
by the farmer, but the question in
whioh he is interested is its probable
effeot, not on the crops, but on the
style of costume."
ARNICA HAIB WASH. —An exchange
vouches for the following : When the
hair is falling off and becoming thin
from frequent use of castor, macassar
oils, etc., or when premature baldness
arises from illness, the arnioa hair wash
will be found of great service in arrest
ihg the mischief. It is thus prepared :
Take elder water, half a pint; sherry
wine, half a pint; tincture of arnioa,
half an ounoe; alcoholic ammonia, one
dram—if this last named ingredient is
old and has lost its strength then two
drams instead of one may. DO employed.
The whole of these are te be mixed in a
lotion bottle, and applied to the. head
every night with a sponge. Wash the
head with warm water twice a week.
Soft brushes must only be used during
the growth of the young hair.
WATEB PAIM. —Wooden water-pails,
whether to be used in the kitchen, or
at the stable, should reoeive two or
three ooats of gum shellac varnish, dis
solved in aloeholj well laid on both in
side and outside. This will last a year
or more, before the wood will begin to
soak water. —It is much better than
lead paint for the inside of pails. Lead
is poison and soon peels off in freezing
weather, and then the pails soak water
and get very heavy liftbesides
which, they rot fast and leak through
the pores of the wood. Shellac may be
procured of any painter, ready mixed,
and, if oorked tightly, will keep any
length of time. 1
AH OHDIHAXT LIGHT OAKM. —Mix two
pounds of eurranta, some nutmeg, and
an ounce of sugar/ in one pound of
flour; a little salt; stir a quarter of a
pound of butter fate a quarter of a pint
of milk orer the fire, till the butter is
melted ; strain to it a quarter of a pint
of ale-yeast, two eggs, only one white :
stir all together with a stick ; set it be
fore the fire to rise in th« pan it is to
be baked in. The oren must be as hot
a* for bread.
OHBLR SOUFFLE.— Break six eggs ;
separate the whites from the yolks, to
the latter put four dessert spoonfuls of
powdered sugar and the rind of a lemon
ahoppcdngMdingly emailmix them
well./ Whip the whitea to a a tiff froth,
mtPadd the rest. Pot a lump of butter
into the frying pan orer a slow fire,
oook carefully and serve aa the first one.
OHOOQLam Ew-Three W r in g
tableapoonfuls of grated ohooolate;
one pound of granulated sugar; the
whitea of four eggs; beat the egga to a
froth; not too stiff radd the sugar and
ohooolate, and stir well together
flaror with thirty drop, of ranilla: drop
o« buttered paper with a teaapoen;
bake in s moderate orenfor ten minmtea.
IH TH» north of Ireland an agreeable
beverage is prepared from parsnip
roots brewed with hops.
Uneducated writers and musicians
spell and play by ear.
( RPMOBOUS.
A MTTi»a girl had seen her brother
playing with his burning glass, and had
heard him talk abont the "focus." Not
knowing the meaning of the word
"focus," she referred to the dictionary,
and found that the focus was "the
plaoe where the rays meet." At dinner
when the family was assembled, she
announced, as grandly as oould be,
that she knew the meaning of one hard
word. Her father asked her what it
?.%■> re P lied that was the word
focus." 1 "Well, Mary," said he,
what does it mean?" "Why " she
rephed, "it means a plaoe where they
raise oalves." This, of course, caused
a great laugh. But she stuck to her
point, and produced her dictionary to
prove that she was right. "There "
said she, triumphantly, "Focus—'a
plaoe where the rays meet,' and if they
raise meat, they raise calves, And so
I am right, ain't I, father ?"
A RocKiiAND county, New York, girl
who was recently "finished" at a fashion
able seminary, has begun a diary. Her
mischievous younger brother out out
the first entry and got it into print.
Here i 8 a portion of it; "Sunday night
*-it has jjpt struck twelve, and I am
still writing. What are these thoughts
that tiurge aoroag my heart? "What is
fcni| looking after the unattain
able? Am I what I really seem, or is
it, as it were, not so muoh the infinite
simal as the unspeakable ? Let me be
oalm. Ah I alas ! will there ever be
another Byron? May there not be
somewhere, coming toward me from the
midst of the mountain top, or the flow
ers of the valley, some sun crowned
youth, who—"
• Mm >
A LADY onoe consulted Dr. Johnson
on the degree of turpitude to be at
tached to her eon's robbing an orohard.
"Madam," said Johnson, "it all de
pends upon the weight of the boy. I
remember my schoolfellow, David Gar
rick, who was always a little fellow,
robbing a dozen of orchards with im
punity ; but the first time I olimbed up
an apple-tree—for I was always a heavy
boy—the bough broke with me, and it
was called judgment, I suppose that
is why justice is represented with a pair
of soales J"
A MAN took a seat on the head of an
empty fiour barrel on Michigan Grand
Avenue, in Chicago, the other day, and
remarked : "I got down the gun and
loaded her up heavy; and just as I was
." At this point the head fell in,
and the man, or about half of him,
disappeared, while his legs loomed up
like a sohooner's masts. He was helped
out, and a boy hired to rub Bweet oil
on his back, but in spite of earnest
entreaties, he would not go on with the
story.
A GENTLEMAN, passing the play
ground of a public school, was affronted
by the boys, and was advised to com
plain to the principal, whioh he did
thus : "I was abused by some of the
rasoals of this place, and I came to ac
quaint you of it, as I understand you
are the principal."
AN OLD toper chanced to drink a
glass of water one day, for want of
something stronger. Smaoking his lips
and turning to one of his companions,
he remarked : "Why, it dont taste
badly. I have no doubt it's wholesome
for females and tender children."
A GENTLEMAN drove a sorrowful-look
ing horse into town, recently, and,
stopping in front of Bank block, he
requested a small boy to hold him a
moment. "Hold 'im ?" exclaimed the
boy ; "just lean him up against the
post—that'll hold 'im."
•'Go AWAY ! Leave me with my dead !
Let me fling myself on his ooffin and
die there !" That was in Nebraska six
months ago, and now the widow has
won another trusting soul, and No. l's
portrait is in the attic, face to the wall.
LAYING the corner stone ftir a wing
to hjß manor Vras the only foundation
for the new "story" that Disraeli was
about to take a wife, and as he haa
since begnn a second wing it is pre
sumed that he purposes bigamy.
A YOUNG man, searohing for his fath
er's pig, accosted an Irishman as fol
lows : "Have yo* seen a stray pig
about here?" To lesponded,
"Faith, and how cotold I tell a stray
pig from any other •
A SILLY fellow whose ears were un
usually large, once simperingly asked a
witty lady, "Will I not make a fine
angel?" "Well, no," she replied,
pointing to his ears, "I think your
wings are too high."
"A MAN'S nature should be - strong as
.adamant,. He should never give way
to tears. That is what somebody says
in a recent novel. But the author for
got to add that man neverpeela onions.
' MBS. PABTINOTON wonders why the
of i ship can't keep a memo
randum of the weight of his anchor,
without going to the tronble of weigh
ing it every time he leaves port.
AFTER waiting four years, a Michigan
low finally popped the question,-and
the girl answered f "Of ooarse I'll have
yon ! Why, yon idiot, we oonld haw
been married three years ago 1."
IF YOC want to atop with a Mew Bed
ford landlord a whole week for nothing
jnst say to Jiim, aa yon enter hia house,
that yon never aaw * man Who looked
so mnch like Daniel Webster.
THE old gentleman who spent a for
tune in endeavoring to hatch oolta from
horse chestnuts, ia now cultivating egg
plants with a view of raising ehickens
from them.
An OLD wretch wants to find a way to
-keep pious during Lent, and at the
aame time eat terrapin.
NOAH was "monarch of all he snr
yeyed" by the flood, and he had a long
and successful rain.
. A BAD pre-eminence—What is there
beats s good wife ? A bad husband.
A BAD thing to put up with—An un
aooomodating landlord.
- lOIiTHS COLUMN,
Chip!
I knew an old couple that ifted In a wood-
And up in a fel
Theaummerwent
. ~, .F ee ' chipperee, chip !
And there they lived on, ana they never paid rent—
Chipperee, chipperee, chip!
Their parlor wan llnel with the softest of wool—
Chipperee, chipperee, chip!
Their kitchen was warm, and their pastry was full—
Chipperee, chipperee, chip'
And four little babies peeped out at the sky _
Chipperee, chipperee, chip!
Kou never saw darlings so pretty and sby—
Chipperee, ohipperee, chip!
Now winter oame on with its frost and i»s snow—
Chipperee, chipperee, chip!
They cared not a bit when they heard the wind blow—
_ Chipperee, ohipperee, chip !
For, wrapped in their fura, they alf lay down to
sleep—
..... . , Chipperee, chipperee, chip!
But, oh. to the spring how their bright eyes will
peeS-'—
Chipperee, ohipperee, chip I rVr
DESERVING BOYS.— We like boys who
help themselves. Every one ought to
be friendly to them. The boys of
energy and ambition, who make manly
efforts to do something for .themselves,
are the hope of the country. Let their
anxious ears catch alwayß words of en
couragement and oheer, for such words,
like favoring breezes to the sails of a
ship, help to bear them on to the des
tination they seek.
It is not always as it Bhould be in
this respect. Many a heart has been
broken—many a young man of indus
try, and animated with honorable mo
tives, has been discouraged by the sour
words and harsh v ad)S' unjust remarks of
some unfeeling employer, or BOOM rela
tive who should have acted thejprt «
friend. The unthinking do not con
sider the weight with whioh such re
marks sometimes fall upon a sensitive
spirit, ahd how they may bruise and
break it. . '
If you cannot do anything to. aid and
assist young men, you ought to abstain
from throwing any obstacles in their
way. Bat can you not do something
to help them forward ? You can at
least say "God speed" to them, and
you can say it feelingly from ypur
heart. Yon little know of how muoh
benefit to boys and young men encour
aging counsel, given fitly and well
timed, may be; and in the great' day
of aooount such words addressed to
those in need of them you may, find
reckoned among your good deeds.
Then help the boys who try tb help
themselves. You can easily recall sim
ple words at kindness addressed to
yourself in your childhood and youth,
and you would like now to kiss the lips
that spoke them though they may long
since have been sealed with the silenoe
of death, and covered by the clods of
the graVe. 1 ' ••
ALMONDS AND PEACHES. —What a dif
ference education can make, to be sure !
Not but an almond is just as fine in its
way as a peach, but then it isn't the
same thing by a good deal. •
That is, it isn't and it is.
The schoolmistress has been reading
aloud out of a book written by a cele
brated naturalist, in whioh he plainly
says that the peach-tree has been edu
cated out of the almond tree.
In the almond the large, sweet ker
nel, in its soft, smooth shell, 4s covered
with a thin, dry, tough flesh that is not
good for food;' In the peach the amali
bitter kernel, in a hard rough shell, is
covered with a thick, soft, juicy flesh,,
whioh you boys think so delicibus. And
it is only education, or culture, or
training with a view to improvement,
that has mfede all the difference. As
tonishing; isn't it?
Sbme almonds are most excellent, and
I think you boys and girls would not
like to see them all turned into peaches.
You need not. fesl uneasy, however;
the peaoh-almond at the start was a
very bitter affair ; miserable' for an
almond and worse for a peach. It
needed the bringing up it has had, to
make it worth anything.
SooiAii BIEDS. —It is wonderful how
the birds love the companionship of
men. Even the Indian recognizes this
liking, 'and puts up his gourd shell' for
the purple martin; the colored man of
the Soo|h in like'manner sets up it
calabash, white in cHur.yiliagea.ftre seen
apiartin houses, oftep e.vincmg taste in
'thefr bohfetrudtion. -But the AtoeriCaE
swallows fortnetly kept aloof frote men,
and in the far west the piaftin still, as
of old, buildß Sn hollow trees. Bdme
of our migratory birds are. seen with us
in. the winter, i This is .explained, I
think, jbv the agricultural habits of
men. Wherever agriculture flourishes,
so will insects, and the fields of the
husbandman are thus attractive to- the
birds who come Either with th eh; sweet
voices and good deeds. Now this fact
does, I think, in time greatly modify
the migration impulse. The blue-bird
is a. frequent visitor of oar gardens in
winter, though not in large numbers,
fle flpv flnds.his in the Japse of
those inseeis which are the pests of the
farm; and it is pleasant to Watoh him
peeping around palings and. 'under
ledges and rails for this food. n
Bipi*h»ve a ereat fear of death. A
hen oaoary belonging to the author
died while nesting,' and was buried.
The survmlg mate! was removed to
another oage; the breeding oage itself
was thoroughly purified, cleansed and
pat aside tul the riext spring. Never
afterward, however, could any bird en
dure to be in that N oage. :;T4a little
oreatures fonght and struggled to, get
out, and if obliged to remain they
huddled close together and mdped and
%e*e unhappy, refusing to
be comforted by any aSpmnt of sun
shine or dainty food. The experiment
was tried of introducing foreigh birds,
who Irene not in the house 'when the
-eanary died, nor could, by any possi
bility, have heard of her through other
oyiariee. The result was the same; no
bird would live in that oage. The cage
was haunted, and the author was
obliged to desist from all further at
tempts to coax or force a bird to stay
in
Many a child, and woipan too, would
be safer walking with.bare feet through
wet grass, than walking in' town fat
shoes supposed to Mi irater- tight.
They are not ooldtight; and "it is not
water on the nolo of the foot. or any
where else which harms people, but
the chill wfaft water In duces, and
which is as injurious through the sole
of the foot as through' tine chest or
loins. _