THE ALAMANCE GLEANER.
VOL. 1.
tHE GLEANER;
PUBLISHED WEEKLY BY
.?ABKEB & JOHNSON;
Graham, N. O*
SaTTS OF SUBSCRIPTION, Postage Paid!
pn« Year U 00
ftyx Months X 00
Clabit Clnbs!l
for 6 copies to on* P. 0.1 year $lO 00
" 6 « " « - « months ..._ 650
" 10 " " " "1 year 15 00
"10 - « « " 6 months ... 800
"80 « » « « 1 year 28 00
u ao « u H « e month,. xg o®
No departure from thi cath tyntem.
RATES OF ADTEMiiIIGi
r Transient advertisements payable, in advance; yearly
advertisement* quarterly in advanca.
1 mo. % mo, 8 mo. 6 mo. 12 mo,
1 square *2 26 SBOO MM $ T2O »10 80
2 " 860 640 730 1680 16 20
5 " 640 720 )0 00 10 20 22 60
.4 « 630 •00 10 80 18 00 2700
6 " 720 13 60 16 20 22 SQ 82 40
, % column 10 20 16 20 18 00 21 0Q 46 00
% " 13 50 18 00 27 00 46 00 '72 00
1 " 18 00 81 60 46 0) 72 00 126 00
t  Transient advertisements $1 per square for the first,
and 60 cents for each subsequent Insertion. I
i. Advertisements not specified as to time, published
until ordered out, and charged accordingly. >
All advertisements considered due from first inser
tion.
One Inch to constitute a square.
ADVERTISEMENTS.
Drugs, Paints,
0 jb a s s & b'- T
We keep constantly on hand a good e»cnrt
uieut ot
ICKFNII DKI7«H ANB tllEiNlli'iLH,
(' J. . (J J'
different brands of White Leail, a large stockJf
WINDOW GLASS;
 ■: « i'f ■. .
which we are tiow selling for less money thai)
they have ever beeil sold for in this section.'
We will supply
Tillage & on 11 try Merchants
a l>etter article than they bny North for the
same money. Also wo have a large stock of
' TRUSSES AND SUPPORTERS,
together with a full and complete line of
TOILET AND FANCY ARTICLES.
Come and sec us, inspect our stock and saiifsy
yourself of tho truth of what we saj\ The Se
nior member of the firm has resumed practice
and can always lie found at the Drug Store
when uot professionally engaged.'
K. W. GLENN & SON.,
In the Benbow House, Greeusboro, N. C.
GREAT TASK MADE EASY,
By the use of tho
VICTtfBfOCA WISrfER lIHPROVEb
♦Hay Rake,
Manufactured by
JOHN DOfolbs & CO.,
ifaijton., Ohio.
This i'» this only Perfect Aelf-OFeratiug
RAKE
qver o'flfered to tae public. Any little girl or
boy that can drive a gentle horse, can rake the
hav as well as. tfie strppgest man. „
Circulars sent free on application'.
GEO. A. CURTIB, Agent.
Graham, N. C.
gCOTT & DONNELL,
Graham, JW C* 9 '
iVealers IN
Dry-^foods,'
Groceries,"
Hardware,
IJTBflfl*, S'TBIL.DALT.IIIOLAME
. a v ,%
OTtR, Ofl-IfDIPFp. ORI/ÜB,
nEDICIKKM, LARD,
in BACOW, AC.. ScC.
Terms Cash oir Barter.
feb IG-2m
QTJTTIN 6~ A NITMA RIN 6
Robert A«
Offers.his eerrldw as a Tai|6r, to the public
His ghojf U at hia residence, iu
Hia wofk warranted, in fit and finish.
feb 16-Iy
JvM&s T. Cb oo&k, Principal.
, The sLxtii «»»lon of this school will com,
ipence on Monday, Ikh day of July, 1875, and
continue for 30 weeks. .
Tuition from to «30.50 per anion.
. Forfurthfr particulars address the Principal
(&K to dH6>n^ rl *' t«nn»
f|PO k )Jj\Jiree. Address O. STTOSOH
and Co., Portland, Maine.
§ # C.ROBEBTS 6
DEALKB IN ♦
Grave Stones
AND
MONUMENTS,
—r- GREENSBORO*. C. •
HATTIK HVDK'
I am Ilattic Hyde, an old mailt, at
least not a young one, and i intend to
remain so.
But I came very near getting hiar
ried last Spring) and I will tell yoii how
it happened. ,
,1 am thirty-five,and riot absolutely ugly,
' at least, when 1 iook iti the glass, I see
reflected there a good fresh complexion
sparkling hazel eyes! Hnd an abiiudiMicc
of brown hair!
I might have mairieti two or three
timusf, only I wasn't really in iovC.
But when Clarance Raymond came
dowu to spend the vacation witli his
aunt—Mrs. Richfoi'd—l m;ist confess to
a little womanly flutter around the
heart, for he was tall and handsome,
iu short, just the hero of romance that
I had always dreamed about; .
" Hattie," said Mrs. jßiciiford—we
were quite conlidcntial friends, and
called one another Hattie and Pamela
and borrowed each other's books, and
all sorts of things—"Hattie I think
j Clarence rather fancies you." ,
" Do you?" said I, feeling tlie telltale
blushes coming into my face, and my
heart began to thump beneath the pretty
(ace tuckers of Valenciennes and pink
ribbon that I had taken to wearing eve
fy jday n .
"I am certain of it," said Mrs. Rich
fordl: " and how nice it will be to have
yon for a cousin."
Yes.'".
It was vdry nice to be engaged.
He gave me a lovely cameo rinar,
Choicer and more ailfique than any dia
mond could have beeu.
It had been hia mother's ring,'lie said
/ ♦ f
and he repeated the most deficious po
etry, arid yow3it that it expressed the
very sentiments of bis heart.
And we had wanderings in'the cool,
fern-scented woods, "and I f>cgau to
wonder whether I should be married in
white satiu or a dove-colored traveling
dress, and pink ribbons in my hat.
One evening, just after Clarance had
returned to his unavoidable engage
ment in the city, old Uncle Elnathan
came to visit me.
Uncle Elnathan was one of those per
sons of whom we arc apt to ask, " why
were they ever created ?'f
He was a verierabfo old gentleman,
with long silver hair, that fell over £ho
coital*' df his bo'ttle-green coat, and cloth
gaiters that irresistibly veminded one
of a black pussy cat, and he took snuff
and talked through his nose.
" Harriet," said Uncle Elnathan, "is
this true?"
•' Is what true Uncle?"
" All this fol-de-rol about your being
engaged to a man ten years younger
than yourself. Harriet! Harriet 1 I
thought you had better sense."
" It's only five years, Uncle," said I,
pouting, " and 1 suppose I have a right
to got engaged without seeding to you
for a permit."
" Harriet, this is not a subject to be
flippant about," said Uncle Elnathan.
"Vo may (fepend upon it, that this
young man is a mere fortune hunter.
You have property, Harriot, and he has
found it ontf"
'• Unitlo f ' f criedVstarting up, "I will
not listen'tamely to such aspersions up
onthe character oToriewho—."
'• Well, my dear, you' needn't get ex
cited," said' the intolerable old gentle
man', tapping his hand' upon the lid ot
his, silver suufj-boi.'. • j
" Yoaaro liot a child, Harriot, lift
yet a sentimental school girl. Let's
talk the.riiatter oyer. rt .
"J" decline to discuss it, sir," was niy
dignified reply. My mind is made up
find no amount of meddling interference
can induce me to alter it."
" But aren't you jdst a little pert to
wards your old Uacle, Hattie?"
So my Uncle went away, silver hair,'
snuff-box, pussy gaiters, and all, and I*
sat down to make a memorandum of
the things t should require for my wed-'
dihg'outfit. for Ihad resolved to make
Ati especial journey to London on that
business. "
Ah, the delight of reveling over coun
ters full of choice, filmy laces, billows
of bridal silk, oceans of tulle! it brought
the color to ! my cheeks only to think of
it. ;• f
Anil' besides, was it not necessary
that Clarence's wife should have all that
custom "rcqifrred ?
. I'dldij't care for myself so much) but j
I was determined not to disgrace Qlar- j
ence.
So ono radiant September day, when
the sky was as blue as blue ribbon, and
the very leavens hung motionless in the
yellow atmosphere, like ships atauchor
or on a sea of gold, I took the early
train from C— —with a purse full of
money, buttoned in an under pocket of
my polonaise.
GRAHAM, N. C., TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, 1875:
I had read all sorts of horrid stories
about pickpockot|> and didn't mean to
part with my bank notes except for
value recieved.
1 felt a little fluttered at first j and
scarcely ventured to look around me,
tor it seemed that everybody must know
that I was going to London to biiy my
wedding outfit. . ' ,
N ♦
It I attempt to tell you anything about
the adventures of that day I know I
shall not succeed. .
Women cox Id perhaps understand
how 1 felt in that talry land of those
great circles of fashion that exist only
in London—glittering halls where the
jjom- sbwing-girls, or the laborer's swife
are treated with as much consideration
and respect as the millionaire's lady or
the young damsel who can't get on a
gfove for the diainoud ring on her fiu-
I bought the wedding dress, white
rep silk and a yeil of tulle suspended
from a garland of orange blossoms)
and I selected a bliie silk, and a peach
colored silk, nind maroon silk, and dear
me! what is tlie iise of cataloguing them
all?, .
Other girls hive been brides-elect
before me, and they all know just how
il all wasJ . , .
And as for those who liavn't, just let
them wait until their turn comes.
then as the sun began to decline
on-jil Western Way, I felt excessively
and unrom'antically hungry.
"Is there a nice ladies' dining-room
near here Vyl asked!.
Onfe OMD(! shopmon went with me to
the door to point out a glittering estab
lishment, with its windows full of hot
house fruits, and morsels of paces and
delicately tinted cakes.
Dear me! Loudon is the place to feci
one's insignificance.
Ido not think that I. Hattie Hyde,
ever felt so small in the whole course
of my life as I did walking over the
floor M.ltechamier's Parisian resturani
with a waiter running on before to
point out a marble table sparkling with
cut-glass and silver, and another fol
lowing ou behind carrying my travel
ing-bag and parasol; while an elegant
Frenchman curlod and perfumed, stood
in the middle of (ho door bowing as.il
as if he were under eternal obligations
to me for so much as coming iu his es"
tablishmenV
I sat down, feeling much as if I were
an iinpoßitpr;' venturing meekly to look
arouud a little after the waiter had
simmered away.
Tlieu for tha first time, I noticed a
superbly-dressed yonng lady, ono or
two tables beyond in a .lovely hat, Willi,
a long, lilac wrtlow jttnine, afid hair
like a shower ofgoid. ,
"Oh, how pretty she Is," thought I.
"How proud her lover must be of her."
I leaned the least bit iu the world
forward, to see the young man in ques
tion. .
Good heaven!
It was Clarence. , .
And as I sat staring, completely con
cealed from his view by the golden hair
and the lilac willow plume, 1 could hear
his light, peculiar langh.
"Yoa wouldn't have me >oursel/
Kate," said he; "you have only your.
"That's no reason you should throw
yourself away," pouted the lady.
"She's a desperate old maid," said
Clarence, "as old as the hills and twice
as antiquated. But sho'sgot the money.
A man in my i>osition has got to look
out for your money, you know, Kate.
Would you like to see her photograph?
And then the two heads were close
together fur an instant, and the young
lady's rippling laugh mingled with C'lar
euce's mellower tones.
"The idea of carrying such a thing
nejl to your heart!" said sho.
"It does seem rather outrageous,
don't it?" said he. "Bat when we are
married,' all that sort of thing will bo
over. I'll see that she finds her level."
fes,when {thought 1, nJVv thorough
ly disenchanted.
Aiid f g"o|, up and hurried oat Of the
restaurant, nearly stnmbling over a tray,
a dish of oysters and a cap of coffee. ,
ii l I've changed my mind."
said I, flinging a sovereign toward hftn.
"Never mind those oysters.
I took the next train to C , and
wrole a scratching note to Clarence the
same evening. ~ f . .. ~
- Do you want to know what was in it?
Of course, like all women's letters,
tho best part of it was in the postscipt.
Our engagement is at an end."
H. H.
"P. S.—The next time you examiue
ladies' photographs in a crowded res
taurant, it might be well to examine
your neighbors."
Clarence had some sense alter all,
He never came near mo with useless
apologies. .. * -"■•£,
I gave the wedding dress to little
Dorothy Miller, who was to be married
in October, and couldn't aftord a trous
seau!
1 suppose I shall wear out ttye blue
and the peach color and the maroon in
time! .
! • i > ii ( i . , 1
Oh, I forgot to say tliat Mrs. Rich
ford was very angry.
it seemed that Clarence had promis
ed her a hundred pounds that he
had borrowed of her, when he got hold
of my money.
And I am froin the bottom
of my heart that I still remain Hattie
Hyde,
The city oi Columbia is in a nico fix.
11 ere is a sketch ot its condition made by
tho Union-Hera hi —the Republican or
gan oft|ie State: "The city of Columbia
is hopelessly iiisolvent. Tlie money that
has poured into her coffers from taxa
tion has been recklessly squandered. The
police are not half paid, and tboy arrest
persons on the sllgtest offenses, in ordei
to make money for the city by fines, that
they may be pakl. The city recently
gave a certificate of indebtedness for for
ty cents. ( Jijdge Mackey will hear ar
guments on tho third of September, as
to ptyclug its alfuirs into the hanifs ot a
receiver. Columbia is the most, rottcij
porfipu of the State.; The nio'st corrupt
and incompetent individuals have been
elected to the City Council. The pres
ent condi tiop of the city is the legitimato
consetjueuce ot tho election of these men.
It is hoped that the new Council elepted
next year will be a great improvement
on tlie present Board."
HORHKRV OF A LOIJISVILLG
■Mt.
LOUISVILLE, Sept. 2.— The planters'
National Bank of this city was robbed
of a large amount this morning. about
day-break. Tho teller of the
Louis Itehin, was discovered near the
bank on his way to the police station;
He could hardly speak at first, but af
ter a while informed the detectives that
three men had taken him from his £ed
during the night and proceeded to the
bank. They forced him to deliver the
keys, with which tlnfy opened the safe
and abstracted tho money. Rehm al
leges he was ehforpformcd n,nd stabbed
in the side where .there ,is a slight
wound. The bank officials refuse to give
any information in regard to tho affair
further than that depositors will lose
nothing. The amount stolen is bcleived
to be nearly SIOO,OOO.
RALSTON.—Ralstoii, President of tho
Bank of Calalornia, was a native of
Giorgetown, Mass.. and for some time
served as a pilot on the Mississippi river
boats. He led an adventurous and
somewhat reckless life, sticli as was com.
mon in those days. He finally reached
Calaiornia, where, after a scries of spec
ulations and successes, ho became a inan
of wealth. Though a Somewhat rude
and rough man, he was an admirable
entertainer. So remarkable was he in
this respect that tor yearp the bank plac
esf at his disposal $25,000 a year to bo
expended jrl thc entertainment ot stran
gers. He was pf-ompt and skillful in all
Ins operations, was capable of transact
ing an immense amount of business, but
was reckless in the extreme.
While the editor of the clntrlottc Dem
ocrat was on a visit to the Eastern part
ofthe State recently, ho was informed by
Hon. It. R. Bridger« that Lincoln's
great but cruel Secretary of War, Ed
win M. Stanton was a native of North-
Carolina. Mr Stanton told Mr Badger?
that he was born in sight of the town of
Beaufort, N. C., and left that locality
when be was 7 or 8 years old. He npw
has scveaal relatives living in Carteret
county. This fact lias never before bee
published, we think.
The Salisbury Intelligencer has befcn
diccontinpcd for the present, and Mr.
Orßete, the late editor has gone back to
the Central at Lexington, of which be is
part propietor, and will fill up all his
subscriptions to the Intelligencer from
the Central office. Mr. Belo is a racy
writer and a' clever gentleman, arid we
Wish him great success Wherever he
may hang up at. Mr. Long, late Local
editor of the Intelligencer, removed to
Lexington with Mr. Belo. —JVieic*.
A young man named Bolick commit
ted suicide a lew days ago, near Hick
ory., He was miseing from home last
Thursday, Friday and Satnrday, and ho
was found suspended by the neck and
dead in an old pine field belonging to his
father, not far from the house, The
i young man was about 21 yeers of age
and a son of David Jlolick. No cause
assigned for the act of self destruction
—Charlotte Observer -
*
NEWSPAPEi; KKPOIITING.
I commenced newspaper lift} with the
most cheerful anticipations. It seemed a
wholesome thing to puff somebody's sugar
coated hams, and have one handed in the next
morning, with a yellow frock on, and a loop
to hang it up by; to attend horae trots and
higher-lifo camp-meetings, and pick the
Obvious points of the best trotters and ex
horters, must bo a most agreeable labor.
So, too, it would be a sweet duty to write
the obituary of a lager-beer seller, and
close by saying, "We will all assemble over
hia beer ;"or write one for an ice-merchant,
declaring that before his exit, thio late la
mented broke out singing:
'•Yes, we will gather at the river."
It might also bp added, as a tribute to
h'.s busiqess integrity, that his remains
wore eared for oh his own crystal iee, which
has no superior in the markgt.
After writing a few days, I started off
into some grotesque sketches of the house
hold o,f Kosqa Jones, myself ni
t|ho baUl-lieaded and unsophisticated airo of
a nvmitrous family. Many rural readers
"tpok this all for,corn." Only one ipaa felt
an affront. Ho had studied to be. a
butcher, and was a success. He was a
/cry healthy man. His knucklqs were like
.valrus teeth,, worp down. Ile callod upon
i"o early one morning. llj was lobster
red—boiled in liia, o\fn p ulsions. He was
almost royal puttie under his and the
flanges of his ears seemed to bo on fire.
He looked liko a man who had walked off
on his ear so rapidly that he produced &
hot box.
He rushod upon me, shouting: , •.
"Now I've got yp, and I'll hammer the
pulp out of ye, yon mean puppy. 11l put
lea-buscuit oTer ymir peopera. IU learn
ye to speak disrespectable of me and my
darters, you
. "Mr. Jones,"' I factored, "this is a joke."
He camo on, glaring and snorting. I
thought how liar J it was to be y mashed out
of existence in the glow of joutb, with the
whole earth tilled with greenness, fruit and
beauty. , ■ , i * .. . '
"I'll get the file and see about it," I
shouted, as I fled. I think the rod "man is
after me yet. I think he will sweep down
upon me some pf these sunny days. I of
ten dream of being in tho shamble, near
his slaughter-house, and hear him order
the boy to bring tlie sledge-hammer.
Obitu&ry writing lj.is !>cen my best bold.
I wrote one for the captain of a Saybrook
ichooner. I was told of his death by hon
est people. I sketched him as ho gaily
strolled down the golden streets, after a
noon lunch o.f nectar and ambrosial, in a
way to ihakc hia family proud. . I also add
ed, to be impartial, the customar musical
instrument. It wan not a hart,, however.
No, I slung him with a boss viol. Tho
captain, when on earth, was anexcellent
fiddler, and therefore, with an eye to his
progress in all things, I accredited him
with a bass viol. I added a stanza of po
etry, as follows: ...
"Wliifc here below n>e bottle was his tovo.
So bo Uioabt have 4 base viol when above."
A week after, tho captain called on me,
smoking a brier-wood pipe. He was much
pleased. .
"What's to pay for that writing?" he
asked. "Mo and my wife and the girls
took solid jomfot;t with it. I want you to
use it when, the right time copies. I
charged the captoin regular cemetery
lot prices.. Six feet hy two. one insertion.
Some time ago, the venerable widow
Wicks lost her son Thineu., JLast Pall she
had his remains reiroved to Connecticut
for final brtri.il. She sent me a brief no-
tice for publication, with privilege of cor
rection. I was as follows: . .
HOME AT LAST.
We learn, with unfelt sorrow, that Mrs
Mehitable Wicks has brought the remains
of Phineas home for determent. She will
put two (2) stones t over his grave, with
Phineas Wicks on ono and P. W. oa the
other. Mrs. W. has been to great expense
in these panicky tii&j, but she trusts
that the public will appreciate her efforts
to make buckle and strap.meet.
I published it as foljows;
p. w. wtth FIXED' AT LAST.
Things come round at last, if yon
only lay low afcd keep dark. Witness tho
case of Phineas Wicks. He died abroad,
but vjjik, his doting friend has freighted his
remains to the Nutmeg State, which bears
the appropriate motto of (fui mutenrl tran*-
tultt. She will set up Two ,stones above
him —4 headstone and V h'fulptone. On
pne will be carved "Phiner," and on the
other "Finis," which is latin for Finny.
Mrs. W. has put outher stamps unspar
ingly to do this k but she believes in "letting
the tail go with the bide.", \
, Seriously, one thing is sure. A news
paper man can never die. His name may
go put, but tho light of his little candle
can never quite cease. What he writes in
hot haste may cool into an eternal carving.
His every-day paragraphs, like the lowly
hollyhocks, may flower beautifully in a sec
ond summer. _
' ■
- AT A funeral at Madison, Me., lately, the
mm who was buried was placed beside
two of his dead wives, while two living
ones attended the funeral.
EUMBEAM3.
. WHy !s a mouso like a load of Lay ? Be*
lause the cat'll eat it.
Matchless misery—having a cigar s.nd
nothing to light it with.
While witnessing a game of baso ball
out Wos(: a boy wag struck on the back of
his head, the bawl coming outof his mouth.
Why is a stationer a very wicked man ?
Because he makes people steel pens and
then says they do write.
What did the spidqr do when he came
out of the ark ? Ho took a fly and went
home. ' . j. .
"The Sweet Summer Land of the Soul,"
is the title of a song just published. Won
der if. there are any moequlto bars to the
music. „ . .
. ■ t ♦ r.
A boy who will yolllike a tartar if a drop
of water gets on his shirt band whan bU
neck is being washed, can crawl through a
sewer after a ball, and think nothing of it.
"Oh! I've loved before," said a Detroit
woman to her fourth husband, as she took
■x handful of hair from his head because
lie objected to hang outthe week's washing.
A Green Hay couple walked four miles
on snowshoes to get married, and it prob
a!>ly won't l>e over. a month before he will
tell her to ajylit her own wood if die wants
any.
"Idiot!" exclaimed a lady coming out
of tho theatre recently as a gentleman ac->
ci lontTy stepped on her trailing skirt
"Which one of us f" blandly responded tho
man.
A good rhinosceros costs $3,600, and un
less there's a great decline in the market
most of us must he satisfied with a fire dol
lar parlor mat having a colored tiger stamp
ed on it. , '
!I ' *1 i !'•« M* ;jy jT f-
A Boston antiquarian says his.
year-old wife is .very affectionate, but it
puzzles him to understand why she
should insist daily on his getting his Ufa
insured. ... t .
It cost Groat Britain two thousand dol
lars to make the Shah a Knight of the
Gt rter, but forty cents worth of London
gin made him so drunk that he doukln't
A wealthy Philodelphian who died re
cently, stipulated in his will that his near
est relative should assassinate the obituary
editer of tho daily Ledger if ho made any
poetical remarks on the subject. • ,
A boy found a pocket-book, and returned
it to its owner, who gave: him a five cent
piece. The boy looked at tho coin an in-,
stant, And then handing it reluctantly back,'
audibly sighed, as he said, "I can't change
it."
"From what you know of him, would
you believe him antler oath ?" "That de
pends on circumstances. If ho was so
much intoxicated that he did not know
what he was saying, I would; if not, I
wouldn't."
A Baltimore young woman skated herself
through the ice; but as the water was only
(our feet deep, and she was five fipet long, she
stood up and informed a young man of what
had happened, and ho courageously passed
her a board. . . ,
The Columbia (Tenn.) Herald ait d IfaiZ.
tells of a negro man at that place who
weighs 228 pounds and woars a No. 17 bro
gan. If that negrb should determine to
make a tour of Mew England, Bhode Island
would find her only safety in crawling un
der a fifty gallon sugar kettle.
It is now reported that Eingtown is to
havo a newspaper. To run a paper profita
bly at that place, it wdhld require » man,
who could eat dried apples for breakfast,
ill-ink warm water for dinner, and swell up
fur suppt r. No other sustenance would be ~'~r
afforded him. — Shenandoah Ilerald.
\ - *
"May I loavo a few tracts ?" asked ■
medical missionary of a lady who respond
ed to liis knock. . "Leave some tracts?.
Certainly you. may," said she, looking at
him most benypily orer her specks. "Leave
thuui with Vour houLi toward the house, if
you please.. . . (i
"Yea, sir," yelled a preacher in a Dakota
church one Sunday morning, "there's more
lying, and swearing and stealing and gen
eral dcrilUy U» Uie square ine)t is this hero
town tlian all the rest of tho American
countiy," i|nd then the congregation got
up and du~iped the preacher out of the
window-.
A gentleman who had been indulging the
great North American privilege of getting
drunk, says he was holding to a lamp-post,
and as soon as h.; let go tho poet fell down.
That's the last thing ho remembers. Tho
truth is, this man lias been "bowed under
the penalties of genius.
A Minnesota judge, in pronouncing the
death sentence, tenderly observes: "lf
guilty, you richly, deserve the fate that
, awaits you: if . innocent, it will be a grati-. .
fpr you to feel that you wore hong,
ed witlioutsucha crime on your conscience;
in eitlier case yoW will be delivered from a
world 4op>"
llienw Epps, of Hamilton, Ohio, asked
her mother to take a note for her to a friend
of the famUy living in a near stseet. The
note when opened was found to read; "This
!is a little ruse of mine to get. mother out
of the house. ■ Before she can get bock T.
will be on the cars with dear Lorenxo, and
before niicht will be married."
w ►III!"
A Texas steer, animated with Cincinnati
whiskey, visitod a rolling mill in that city
a few days ago, and after nosing around a.
bit, concluded that a gigaatia fly-wheel
was the only thing about the place worthy
of his attention. So he pranced into the
fly-wheel, ard his owner says that if he can
recover a piece of one of- his horns he will
be satisfied. ♦/
The Newburyport Herald relate* that re- "j ..
ccntly a benevolent gentleman from Ver
mont applied toa Boston gedtlenian for aid ■
in ■owding a Vermont missionary to Tar
key. The reply was as follows: —"I have
invested much in Vermont securities and
lost, many thousands by the acts of your
railroad men, sustained by the people and
the courts. I have also lived in Turkey,.
and had much intercourse with her people.,!
I would far rather give my money to send
Turks aa missionaries to Vermont."
A
NO. 32;