THE ALAMANCE GLEANER.
VOL. 7.
CljcJUaittiiiice ©leaner,
published weekly at
Urnlißm, N. C.
Eldridae Sf Kernodle,
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'PROFESSIONAL CA ItDS.
JNoTwTQPAnAM, JAS. A. GRAHAM.
Hillsoaro, N. C. Graham, N. C.
GRAHAM & GRAHAM,
ATTOKNEtS AT I.AW,
Practice in the State ?nd Federal Lourts,
43T8pecitl attention paid to collecting.
J . D. KERNODLE,
Attorney at Law,
OBAHAifI, N.O.
Practices iu tlia State and Federal Courts |
Will faithfully and promptly attend to all Dusi
jess intrusted to him
m. B. PARKER,
ATTORNEY,
. KRA HAITI. i>. C.
Will attend regularly the Buperinr Courts of
Alamance, aswelj, Person, Chatham and Ran
dolph, and the Federal courts at Greensboro,
business entrusted to him shall have faithful
Mtentioii,
6—l 80. ly.
I) K. J. W. GRIFFITH,
DENTIST,- —
GRAHAM, N. C.,
■* fully prepared to do any and all kinds of
work pertaining to the profession.
Bpecial attention erlven to the treatment of
diseases of the MOUTH.
Calls Attended in Town or Countrv
DR. GEO. W. LONG,
GENERAL PRACTITIONER
c 4 t .5 f A .T • ' '
—O F
Medicine and Surgery,
nirAiiATi, n, c,
\ 9. 1.80. ly. .
T. B. Eldridge,
. Attorney
oraham^L^
Praelicrs in the Btate and Federal €fourts.
All business intrusted to him shall receive
rompt and carefnl attention.
' ADVERTISEMENTS.
: HOLIDAY GOOBS!
t m I \ . - • j t „
NEW BOOKS. ALBUMS. VASES, TOILET
. , . SETS. .
I* V -
CHRISTMAS &. NEW YEAR CARDS, BtC!
• Blum's Airaanc.es
• - \
- FOR 1 882
CHAM. YATES, ,
* DEAI.ER IK
Books, Stationery, and. Pancv
Articles*
* Dec. 5,1881, 40-ly.
want to Iruy | j
Jgfflßetdier rgady-m&iig orm&dg
ortlar, do not Pad. to
for our Catalogue
jpoctrj).
~ lOVfi.
O'er bis darling bending low,
While the roses come aud 450
On her cheeks;
Rupert ctiokes her golden hair
Foudly, antl discovers there
Switches made of yellow tow,
All in streaks.
Then he lifts the fair yoiidg face,
Radiant with love aud grace,
Takes a kiss;
But the nectar that he sips
From the pouting, ruby lips
Mingled, is with paint that kills
All the bliss.
Then in fond embrace he flings
Arms around the form that clings
Close to his ;
Bui., alas, the padding caves,
And in inarmed, shapeless waves,
Paper, cloth, pnd other things
Spoil the biz.
JOHN'S LITTLE JOKE.
'Well, I ennm!' exslaimed Uncle Phil
Wheeler, in his characteristic way, finish
ing the speech with o prolonged whistle.
'What is the matter, Uucle Phil?'
'Hey ?'
'What's the maiter?'
'Why, your Aunt siusan jusl bought
another bureau!'
The speakers were Mr. Philip Wheeler
commonly called Uncle Phil, and his
handfome, deviLmay-care nephew, John
Langdon. Uncle Phil was standing un
der lho big brown horse-chestnut tree,
whittling a new handle for his hammer
when a hay wagon containing a bureau,
slopped before the gale. .
'Whoso bureau's that?,' demanded
Uncle Ptil.
lltigjfeiwMiss Wheeler,' was the ans
wer. 'She bought it down at 'Squire
Thomas.' auction.'
'Well, I snuml' «.' v .
'John Langdon, just coming from the
wood house armed with rod and line
heard the exclamation and iuquired the
cause.
'So Aunt Susan has bought another
bureau, has she?' he remarked, after a
moment's scrutiny of that awful piece of
household furniture. *1 say, Uucle
I Phil, where is she going to pat it?'
'Hey?' ejaculated Uncle Phil, staring
hard at his nephew over his silver bowed
specs.
' Where is she going to put it?'
Uncle Phil shook his head and renew
ed his whittling.
'l'm blamed it I know,' he said at last.
'I reckon 'twill have to set atop of some
thing, for 1 dou't believe" there is floor
room lor it in the house.'
•I've got three in my room now, and I
shall protest against aiourth,' laughed
John. Aunt Susan,' addressing that
lady, who appeared 011 the piazza to su
perintend the removal of her newly ac
quired treasure from the cart to the
house,'where are you going to put that
thing?' #
'Well, John if yon want it, why of
course you can have it, but 1 did think
I'd put it in the buttery, K would be so
handy—' -
'By all means,' interrupted Jobu, 'the
buttery is just the place for it: three are
as many as I can occupy, inasmuch as I
only brought a hand bag along on my
little visit. If you were to give me a
fourth, 1 should be reduced to the neces
sity of remaining in bed in order to use
it.' ■; *
'Oh, go away, you rogue,' cried his
aunt, looking lovingly at him: 'and stop
laughing at your old auntie. Here you,'
iu alarm to the driver. 'Take care there,
you will have that leg offl Hold on to
the glass I My I my! How careless you
be!'
After much anxiety on Aunt Susan's
part, hair breadth escapes on the bureau's,
and a good deal of harmless swearing,
such as 'lsuuin!' 'by golly I' etc., on
Uncle Phil's, the old bureau was at last
deposited in the buttery, where it took
up just three inches more room than it
cjuld with any degree of propriety bo ac
comodated with. Consequently being of
a firm aud unyielding nature, a sharp
and uncompromising corner was thrust
obtrusively and ofleudingly out; against
which unwary toes and unfortunate
shins would in all probability be fre
quently punished.
Bat Aunt Susan was not the woman to
go forth to meet trouble, and no shadow
rested upon her placid brow, nor mis
givings annoyed or made afraid. The
bureau was a bargain, and that sublime
fact shed euch a Jhalo of glory oter its
somewhat battered surface as to com
pletely put to rout the convenience .of its '
position.
Next morning Aant Susan rose be
times, sent for the woman who lived on
the back road, and enjoyed a day of '|jut»
ting l ights.' Those day» in which she
caueed to i»ebrought forth from garret,
cellar auJ hidden Btore»rooms, treasures
collected from all Directions innumerable
wer* dear to bcr heart, though abomi
GRAHAM, N. C., MONDAY, JANUARY 16, 1882.
nation in the eyes of Uncle Phil who |
wandered around midst the household
gods in bitterness of spirit.
John watched the cleaning operation
with an amused smile curling (he corners
of his handsome month, till at length a
bright idea Bii tick him,
'By jove!' he muttered. 'I believe we
might do it!'
Five minutes ialer, he might have been
seen in earnest confab with Uncle Phi|
who grinned and nodded his hoad in
evident satisfaction and full approval fc of
the plan whatever it was.
The day was ended in great success in
the cleaning- line. Before sundown an
array of spotless mahogany, brass, china,
biitannia, etc., might have been seen or
namenting Uncle Phil's front yard—
articles which the waning rays of (he
sun touched and caused (o reflect like
polished mirrors. Soon everything was
replaced, the old woman departed, and
quiet brooded over (he old larmhouse
once more.
Next day John was to return home to
C—, and Aunt.Susan was to accompany
him, lor the double purpose o( paying
her sister—John's mother —a Visit and
witnessing the ceremony which should
give to John a wile.
This wedding was very dear to her
heart; first, because she loved John very
dearly, and second, because he had
bought a lovely little nest of a home close
• by her house and was—after a reasonable
trip—to bring his young wife here nnder
Aunt Susan's motherly wing, while he
began his career as a lawyer tn the btisk
little village near by.
Nothing ehort of the immenso import
ance of this event could havS induced the
good woman lo commit ths daring act of
risking her neck upon a railroad: tor the
twenty mile journey waa formidable to
her, with her old time notions, aa would
a visit to India be to a town bred man.
The morning arrived, and Aunt Susan,
with many injunctions and cautiona, at
last took her place in the wagon which
was to convey her to (he depoi. ~ >
John delayed a few momenta to take
special parting with Uncle Phil, What
was said no one heard Rave the parlice
interested; but John's low words called
lorth a series of energetic words from
| his uncle, and a dry, hard chtickle, bes
straying au unusual amount of interest.
Thejonrney ended safely, and Aunt
Susan was beginning to feel at home 011
springs, and to sleep in spite of the noise
on tho street, when a letter from home
completely upset Ihe good woman, and
threatened to start her on the homeward
track without delay.
'The house has been robbed,' wrote
Uucle Phil. '1 was down to see Marlhy'
—his sister—'and it sot in to storm
so hard I staved all night. Wall, when I
got home I thought things looked sorter
queer, and sure enough, 1 found lots ot
things gone. The bureau in (he buttery,
aud all the things'outen the summer
kitchen, a whole lot ol brass things from
the stairway closet and no end of fixing
all over. I can't see,' wrole the old
gentleman, 'as any close or silver has
been took, and I guess (he thieves must
have knowed of your bargains and cum
for them special. Pv,e heard they set
atores buy them in big places. I reckon
at a ruS gess we've last about five
burows, three sofies aud six or seven
parlor stoves, to say uothing of chiny
and brass things.'
To siy thai Aant was stoned
would be faintly to express her state ol
mind,* but she determined John's hap*
piness should not be dimmed by her
anxiety, aud by a great effort she suc
ceeded in overcoming her despoudency
and assuming a cheerful face.
The wedding day came and passod.
John and Mary were bound in the holy
bonds of wedlock, and had departed on
tneir bridal trip.
Aunt Susan lingered a few days to
make some purchases, then returned to
the even tenor of her own home, and
waited with what patience she could for
John's return.
Uucle Phil was waitiug too—silently,
but no less anxiously. In fact, a little
air ol mystery hung over the old house
and hid shyly away amidst the wrinkles
of the kindly old faces of its excellent
owners Uncle Phil had some secret
he did not tell Aunt Susan, and Aunt
Susan had some secret she did not con
fide to Uncle Phil, aud stranger still,
each wns so engaged with his own, as to
be perfectly oblivious of the other's
possession.
Only one person saw, understood, en
joyed and remained silent—Uncle Phil's
sister, Marthft. ~- r "
The summer's heat slowly diod out,
and autmnn was beginning to psint the
tree tops in the glories of red and gold,
when John wrote that lie- was coming
with hi® wife to take up his Zioine In tlio
liltlo house. They wcrt to remain at
Uncle Phil's until their houso was ready.
Of course e>ery thing waa on tiptoe,
Aunt Susan caused a supply ol pica ami
cakes to bo baked that won 14 have
victualed a man-of-war jwhile Uncle Phil
spent the entire day'shaking the buSalo
robes and polishing up the old carriage
and Wagon. J * .
Train time came; so did John and
Mary, and the old people drove Ihetn
home from the depot with great pride,
under the scrutinizing gaze of the eniire
village eye, so to speak,
Tea was ready, but not BO 60011 Uncle
Phil had tound time to divulge his secret
to John, for troin the wood house came
alow murmur of voices, with now aud
then a hearty peal ot laughter in John's
clear voice mingled wi'.h Uncle Phil's
low guflaw, •*
Twice did Aunt Susan call out and de
mand t> know the joke, and twice did
she get her trouble for her paine, for 110
hint was given.
After tea the whole party strolled
down to the new house. Now it was
Aunt Susan's turn. With a proud nlqp
she inarched ahead Hud opcimd-Um cfiror
ot the house, a faint flush 011 her witliemf
cheek. Mary followed closely, but Phil
aud Jobu stood rooted in the hall,
staring blankly aud stupidly into the
parlor.
Certainly there was nothing there
which ought to frighten tw*; lull-grown
men—only four or fife bureaus ot some
what autique design, several tables with
massive peJestiai and claw feot, two
sofas large enough to accommodate the
'pro-historic man' wo hear about, and a
goodly assortment of clocks, audirou>,
shovel?, etc.
,You don't seem to bo pleased,' said
Aunt Susan in a crestfalleu manner,
Iter voice trembling a little. 'Now 1
thoaght you would be tickled to death
with them. 1 tound them all iu Crr
(Uncle Phil and John exchanged guilty
1.-oks), and I was BO took aback at losing
mine, aud 1 noticed you looked kiuon'
red afMTWVjT vThtti 'rmrMtft'TMftie, so
I thought to buy theso
for you, John this hero burow'— placing
her hand on a large and imposing pieco
of tnrniture—Mid look so like the one 1
bought ot 'Squire Thomas and had in my
buttery, that I could't help gitting it.
You know you "kinder wanted it,
John, the,uigh( it came home, and I alus
felt sorter mean that 1 did't give it to
you then; so as soon as I sot my eyes on
this otoe lup aud bought it and had it
sent down with the rest, unbeknown to
anybody, so as to surprise you. Yoo
didn't even suspect, did, you Pliil?'
But Uucle Phil was still speechless,
and even John's ready tongue refused to
do its usual work.
While they yet stood a siient, crest 1 '
(alien gronp, a shrill high trebble broke
upon the sllenc?, and Aunt Martha camo
walking in.
( Wall,l doiay yon look meeting enough;
I told you, Phil, that Susan would find
you ont! I thoaght 1 should bust when
Susan went to Caleb to go down to the
depot and hanl up those things just ten
days after be hauled urn down, though as
fur that, 'was dark enough When ho
took um down, being night—'
At that stage John recovered himself
sufficiently to confront Aunt Martha and
by dint of winks and nods make her un
derstand that she was making a mess of
it. 1* n ■' -i I*. ,■
Poor Martha stared, as opon mouthed
as the rest, but the warning had come
toe lata; Aunt Susan waa by no meaus
slow, aud (he whole plot was as plain as
as daylight to her.
'And so, Philip Wheeler,' she burst
out, with trembling scorn, 'you thought
'twould be fine fun to deceive me with
yonrtrnrapt hp story of thieves that has
I made the shivers run down my back
i every night since I camo home I Oh,
| yoii needn't say nothin* • —as Untie Phil
attempted to speak—'lt'a mity honest,
inebfce and dees great credit to your
profession. As fur you. John, I wouldn't
I have bei'ved you would have treated
your old Anlie in such a wav. You ken
take them old things aud send um back
to C->-; I hate the sight ot nml' And
Annt Susan broke down/ and bowing 1
her bead on Man's shoulder burst into '
h shower ol tears which cansed Phil and
John lo feel not only like sneaks aud
scouudrele, but like midnight assassin*
and burglars as well.
John explained that no harm was,
intended, and that it was but a foolish
boyish trick. And Uncle Phil scratched
his head and tried to look boyish, and
tailed because he already looked so sheep
ish aud mean.
But Mary she kissed Aant Susan aud
said :
•Uncle Phil and John meant to plav off
a gopd joke on you, but you have turned
the tables finely, and 1 am double glad
first because I do love to get the best of
a joke, and secondly, because I doat on
these doar, quaint old things. Why,
aunty you have giyen lite treasures! .lust
wait till you see how sweet I'll make
>liis fitt lo place look.' i i
And so she did; so qnaluUy swc*t and
altogether charming «lid the little howso
grow under her skillful ling erg that ft
became the rage, ami the demands lor
old ihiwgaAraa alrowl iiiijli in the
village, as it w»s in,our big city, wUere
somethingalways rages.
John become >■ convert at a very early
dav, and eVon Uncle Phil said,-,.
1 don't know the old truck
could look so kinder 'ssratic.'
To whom Aunt Susan replied;—
'1 alurs knowed 'twas 'r.ttocratic
Phil «
They arc all happy, and Aunt Susan
has long since forgotten aud forgiven
John's little joke. , ,
How the Ladles Fish. f
There arc generally about six of them
in a hunch, with*light dresses on, and
they have three polo* with as many hooka
ami lines among ll.ein. As soon as tbey
get lo the ifyer they ldok lor n good
place to got down the bank, atid theiuofr
vent tiresome one slicks her boot-heel in
the hftnk and makes two careful steps
down—then suddenly finds herself attho
bottuw with both hands in the water,
a leeling that evcrybod> in this wide
world is looking at her, aud she nevor
tells anybody how she got there. The
other girls, profiting by her example,
turn around aud go down the bank on
their hands and,toes,j backward. Then
they scamper over the rafts until tbey
find a shallow U|ltcq where they cau see
the fish, and shout—
•Oli,!Tiotf dftti! 4 • '*
' W here ?' -
A .
'Oh, tny I so he is.'
| ' Who's «ot the baits!' •
'You lazy thing; yon«K. Jthng on my
pol^l'
All these exclamation# are got ton off
in a tone thamwakei* every wjio wi|bi»
a mile sends every fish
that hear iuio'galloping hysterics.' Then
the girls, by roper human exeftjem,
manage to get a worm on ilie IKJHB jn«|
throw it ia wtUtaapiasb lik&Jirii launch
ing of a wash awft'yf the result.
Alter wba»HtoL*UhMiitMi«tf«ntffi*h cons
trives to gel fastened en (lie hook of a
timid woman, and she gives vent to her
topsoe. ,
JObi,
Pun np, yoirMfet 1' shout five voice#,
as poles and hosk»ar« dipped and tbey ;
irnn to the rckcuc, Jfh^jrirl with the bite
gives a spasmodic'jerk whiclflteifiJtf the
unfortunate 'uttftity,'lirt6
length oi the Hue, and be comes-down en
the nearest curly head ;with a damp flop
that sets her to clawing as though there
were bumble-bees in fier hair.
'Olf; fflMMfr faki f i*- 1 away ! Ujjfc,
take It awn?, the nasty thiugl' •
TUon tliey hold up their skirts and
gather. ai ou nd thai fish as It skips over
the logs, one at] the time holding ttie > liri6
in both haitiMs frith her font on the pole\
as though she Iml an evil-disposed goat
at the tuber end. Then tbey talk it
over: .
•llow will it ever get off!'
'Ain't It pretty?' ""
'Wonder II It ain't dry?*
'Poor little thing; let's put it back.'
'Pick it up,' says thj girl,who backs
rapidly out ot the circle.
'Good Gracious, I'm afraid of It!'
Th«>re it's opening its inouth at me.'
Just then the 'sunny' wiggles ofl ike
hook and disappears between ,w0 logs
in the water,and the girts try loranprtiet'
bite. But the sun' coines down artrS' fi i"s
the backs of their necks, and gets threo
headaches iu (be M||, tmq they all ' 'get
cross and spotd at tTvo fish like so many
magpies, it an fib wary chob (lares to
show jiimselfin (ho water they poke at
him with poles, mfich to hlsdfgjfost. Fili
ally the y get mad all over and throw the
poles away, linut up the lunch baskets,
climb tip into the woods., where th6y"BH
around on the grass, and eat enough of
dried beef aud rusk and hard-boiled
eggs to give a wood-horso the night
mare, alter which they compare notes
about tf>etr beaux until stiiidbwn, when
they go hpme and 'plant envy in the
hearts ot aU their dear friends by te'liiig 1
them what Must a splendid ttule they* had.'
Old Shoes,
You probably think that il yon look
; very sharply at au old shoe when you
i throw it away, you will know it again if
:it ever comes back to jou. One of these
i days yoa may button your dress with an
old pair of slippery, comb your hair with
a boot, or grasp a cast oil gaiter while at;
your dinner. You don't see how tlii#
cau be? Well, wo will tell you. o|d
shoes are turned to account by munntaiv
turers in the following maimer: '1 hey
are cut into very small pieces, and kept
| for a couple of day iu chloride of sulphur*.
[ The effect of this is, to make the leather
i bard and brittle. Next the material is
i withdrawn from the aclion of the
chloride of sulphur, washed with water
and dried. Wlieu thoroughly dry it is
sround to powder, and mixed with some
subctauce like glae or gum, that causes it
!Jo adhere together. It is then pressed
i intu moulds and shaped into buttons,
combs, knife handles, etc. So you sec
lio.v it may route to pass that you wijl
comb your hair with a boot, aud fasten
yonr clothes with a slipper.
■ . "■* ■/» ' '' '"' ' v
*" r ' ; **•' '*■ \ i
Having been troubled very bad
Cough for about two jtara and having
tried almost every, cough mixture 4 th«t!
was ever made, 1 have found none that
bas given me anch great relief as Dr.
Bull's Coogh Syrapaud I earnestly rte
oniend it to all afflicted, BkXJ. P.'OaO-'
OAN, 14 Park PJ., N. Y, 
NO. 45
SXg
uiicit
r«R
NENUTM,
Neuralgia, Sciatica, lumbago,
Backache, Soreness of the Chest, Gout,
Quinsy, Sore Throat, Swellings and
Sprains, Burns and Scalds,
General Bodily Pains,
Tooth, Ear and Headache, Frosted Feet
and Ears, and tilt other Pains
and Achee. b
No Preparation on earth equals St.Jacdiw Oau
a tit fr. mire.nimplfi aid thuap External Remedy.
A trial cntalMfcut the coaiparutlrelT trUUnp outlay
of 50 *nd every one ftfletlnrwltti pais
can have weap and positive proof of lta claim
Directions In Eleven Languages.
BOLD BY ALL DBUGGISTS AJD DEALERS IX
KEDIOIHE. t ■ .
A. VCGELER & CO.,
* Baltimore, Md„ V. B. A.
Vfc " ■ i..,£■■■ ' Mil ■■■■■ »
TIKE
• • i .»I>ai
y a B
t >: » h vjjal '* ' ' •
JOB OFff.ES
, » I 10 rv. • M
yu! ft prepared tfr Execute
'ijti 3(a» :
Job Erinting
1 »i '** fit' * '
1 i ni Buliaor
MEAT ¥M!OTf.
—AND wrrft—
. ; . | '/{ dtiMf*. (■%« .
Neawe*S Aito 'Despatch,
Give Us A Trial.
m*"> ' ' ■ i y « « - i fci i ii ii i ■!!»'
J. W. DAIXiET,
• m€ Alaaaacc, N. C.> wltk
.Jxiicrrant Barrow
tti ei : _#koblsaui avd r*tah—
G-'ROOEES
nnd 4ealrn fa
GENERAL MERCHANDISE,
—AO K NTS FOR THE CKLBBRAT(D—
- " ' . i : !"
Enrißt oca wo.
Main Street, 3 doors above Johnston fe Clicek'f
- Bank, Danville, Va.,
Mr. Dailey will be pleased to hare his North
Carolina friends call da him.
Jap 17—ly'
Watches,
♦IJCLOOKS
snwi&kK.
ITI AVE ju*t received a large assortment of
Clocks of various kind#, which I will sell
, eh«ap. I also keep,on hand a fine assortment
' of Watches and Jewelry,
i J#aF Repairing douu with despatch.
C F. NRBBF
13. 38—fit. Company Shops.
Patents for Invention*
E. W. ANDEItSON. J. C. BKT - "a,
Anderses & Smith,
ATTOHNIIYfI.AT.LAW,
No. 700 Setbnth Btre*t, Washington, £>. C,
No fee for preliminary examination- Nc '.>•
nniees pateut is allowed. Fees lei" thai *ol~»r
responsible agency. Books ot infoonatioii seut
free of charge. Mcferenees Inrnlslied npo? re
quest. Sept. 9. M—tf.
patptsT
PA. I.EHMANN. Solicitor ot Xmcuc&aAad
« Foreign Patents, Washington. I>.
business conuoetyd.\>rUbFatoatf>, wh-;iic-r bef; -e
tbe Patent Office or IhS-t'onrt*. rt-cnnptlv nt-.
tended tp. ,N«t ehartre made unlem a patent a*
seeured. Send for circular. Sep* 3S- tf,
imTTY'sasKiiOi:
ly. I'itißoe %125 up. £s§~lUaß. .vaiosrua
1 bub. Address BeaUy Waaittegten, V i