.'
What Lydia E* Pmkham's
Vegetable Did
for Mr*. Warner.
Onalaska. Wis.-" Every month I had
■neb pains in my back and lower part of
TTTTmrrj stomach I could not
Mill lie in bed. I suf
■HJIJI fered so it seemed
HI aa though I would
■y die, and I waa not
regular either. 1
■I suffered for a year
and was unfit to do
B my housework.
could only—wash
®r dishes once in a
gf while. I read an
"A A advertisement of
\SuiUi What Lydia E. Pink
ham's Vegetable Compound had done
for other women and decided to try it.
It sorely did wonders for me. I have
ao pains now and 1 can do my house
wort without any trouble at all. 1
wiH always praise your medicine as I
to not believe there is a doctor that can
to as much good in female weakness,
and you may use these facta as a testi
monial "—Mrs. Lester E. Wakner,
R. 1, Box 69, Onalaska, Wis.
The reason women write such letters
to the Lydia E. Piokham Medicine Co.
■ri tell their friends how they are
helped is that Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound has brought health
MM happiness into their lives. Freed
fian their illness they want to pass the
fpwd news along to other suffering
women that they also may be relieved
Self-Centered!
"You have always been one of these
Skeptical people," remarked the re
proachful friend.
"I must admit," replied Mr. Grow
cfcer. *
Tou even .said the flying machine
weald not be a success."
"Well, so fur as my own comfort
«r peace of mind is concerned, It
Isn't".
MOTHER!
•California Syrup of Figs"
Child's Best Laxative
Accept "California" Syrup of Pigs
ealy—look for the name California on
toe package, then you are sure your
Wld la having the beat and most harm
ha physic for the little stomach, liver
and bowels. Children love Its fruity
taste. Fall directions on each bottle*
Ton must say "California."—Adv.
Time Wall Spent
' Jed Tunkins wishes to explain that
lie waa not wasting precious time when
ke was sitting on the fence whittling.
What he was cutting up was the fain-
Uly oulju board.—Washington Star.
Times
■«»? oisqaujtttHH— J*** nuAV wop }|
«* suupwiod jo jO| v qj|AV ||».» SB
*M»-« l.UO.tt U4.IJS Hu|)|oo| puii }OOJ l»t|
aapldui juqi jrfAuosip ||.«l* uoqi pun
OJ jpuq J(|«) OJ *U|O3 g,.po(touiog
'•■ Si ajojaq |Muo|sn[||K||> Xipna aq
OW 4saj I }tiq usj os SUM U.«o jjq
iwuu £}j*id sJluiqj puq mitj *o|33oh
■•qi "usuio« e Huieg,, -jC||nj)qSnoq)
"■Woa *'H Pies „*s| aqs og„
..•ssoq |B.)|)||()l| W
•wto aq OJ *uujaß a) sa|iaou «"K..
aj»qd« JapiM V
"Itienuuu aj|J y> spunod 000'000'000'S
leeqw sdiqs pun sn-ml auoiflSuofi
-JOUOII jo aotqd aq) pou|uß.u dno
fieo aqi jno ajjoaq JBAV uhoiuijj aq)
■"IM "aoaißd 4d)u|.v\ aqi pun uiimaj!]
•*» "ailsßo Jospui.w jo B.«O|A qj|.vi
9"* sj«IP|OS nnissnu J> sajnJly qj|*
fa|u»wnujo pujaoajaj jh jujjjj aq)
i° anjßis snuuiuj aqi jo Xdoo
fWMtpaj » Su|oq 'AqU>u)
Mm* a su.tt ~oima siqj,
unipjuno
a*»iiqjuinv oifi sius Mmw aqj jo
naXIR BABKK A GOOD TONIC
•al Dtltm Materia Oat at tha Inlca.
rtour •Babtfk' arts Ilka marie; I have
gfjwi It to numeroui people In my parl«h
W*? were •ufferinx with chills, malaria
— fever. I ommmd It to those who are
■ton and in need of a good tonic.
Mar. a Bsymanowikl. st Stephen - * church.
Perth Amboy. N. J. Elixir Baktk. all
82Wats or br P.rcel Poat. ?rom
Baaeawskl A Co.. Washington. D. C.
■ISIIDA rAVOKITK; A VINE a* CIOAH.
aaa4 aa many (or its* dallrared amokiri
fer Parcel* POM. M for It.H; 100. It »•
R«aK Poatal Monay Order lo T. W. Halm
SSar-Oom»any. Panama City. Plorlda.
■aaaeaeehcra— Are you InlerMtrd tn prortoc
tin (arm Land*, avltabl* for ralalns eattla
kaca aad ahrcp? Adaptable (or dlveralSad
lannlaa. splendid roada. acboola. church**
Write McSwaln Raalty Co.. Monl#o«l*ry. Al«
BLUAL THE EASIEST
J?' t*Uk w* • \° a.
Viae Ark. Patau Pleaty timber, water, rlcl.
aril aad beat cllmata It acre up Br Wtl
fiaue Hleka. Ckeeaee. Soath Carolina
IMB I I HHBBi
all m JHh
Hbv bH I flj
VB&; 1 ■
ma 1
i—Republican iNntloiiui uuimuuu uu>« u taiiv« Uie scuu.e committee on campaign expenditures. 2 —Scene
during the pageant at Truro, Mass.. celebrating the tercentenary of the Landing of the Pilgrims. B—Minister
of War Tamaka, who is called "the man behind the Japanese throne."
NEWS REVIEW OF
CURRENT EVENTS
Managers of -Both Parties Are
Raising Big Hullabaloo Over
Campaign Fands.
' t
LAW VIOLATIONS CHARGED
Gompers Asks Union Labor to Sup
port Cox—Mors Trouble in Mining
Flslds—Poles Destroy Budan
ny's Red Army In Gaiicla.
By EDWARD W. PICKARD.
Cundldute Cos and the managers of
both the Democratic and the Repub
lican campaigns have created a deal
of noise and fury with ihelr charges
and counter-charges relating to the
cumpaign funds. Accusations and re
torts, denials and admissions have
been flying thick and probably will not
cease for some time. The senatorial
Investigating committee seemingly Is
determined to get-at the truth with
out fear or favor, and If certain of
the charges are sustained, legal pro
ceedings are likely to result. »
Republican managers assert' that*
Cox's'charges that they had conspired
td buy the presidency with huge sums
of money have been completely-dis
proved. Homer Cummlngs, former
Democratic national chairman, told the
senators he could find no evidence of
corruption lu the Republican plan for
raising campaign funds, and added
that his own party organization was
trying to raise funds by the saihe
niethod used by the Republicans. But,
he complained, the latter had been the
more successful. Neither Mr. Cum
mlngs nor any other witness beard by
the committee was willing to admit
that the presidency could be "bought."
Mr. Cox elaborated his statements
by making public a document entitled
"Campaign Plan lu Larger Cities,"
which he said proved the Repub
lican national committee was seek
ing to raise suras ranging from
$5,000- to SIO,OOO. Treasurer Up
bara disposed of this by explain
ing that the plan outlined In the
document waa not ratified, but on the
contrary was vetoed /almost without
discussion because the national com
mittee was determined to try out the
SI,OOO limit plan. Ho# closely this
was adhered to was told the senators
by National Chairman' Hays. >He said:
"During the period from June 14, 1920,
to August 20. IO2O, there were 12,388
men und women contributors to both
the national committee and to state
committees through the joint collect
ing organization, an average of $82.11.
Of these none have been over the thou
sand-dollar rule except eight, which
eight have given a total of 513.500, an
average of $1.087.50. The highest of
these wos $2,500."
On Tuesday Mr. Uphain supplement
ed this by submitting the full list of
contributors to the Haftlng fund.
Fewer than a dozen, he said, had
given more than SI,OOO -and twu sub
scriptions of $5,000 each were the
largest received to date. The quotas
for the national fund. Mr. Upham said,
totaled $4,887,000 approximately, with
SBOO,OOO additional Quotas for special
atute funds, hut that It was a case of
"50.per cent off for cash." He said
the glowing "bulletins" sent out to
Republican fund workers and quoted
extensively hy Governor Cox were
"bull" and "salesmanship." The Re
publican budget, he Insisted, was for
slightly more than $3,000,000.
But the Democrats were not out of
ammunition, by any means. The next
thing they brought to the attention of
the senatorial committee was the "de
luxe" book, "RepuhUcanlim In 1920,"
which William Barnes of N#w York
was said to be getting out. The sena
tors were shown a list of wealthy men
who had pledged some $37,000 for this
Barnes effort, and Wilbur Marsh.
Democratic treasurer. s«ld that to hl«
mind It Indicated a plsn to collect
large campaign funds Independently of
the regular Republican machinery. He
named a number of organisations that,
he said, were engaged In similar ef
forts, mentioning tit* National Toung
Men's Republican l«tgue, the Southern
, Protective Tariff association, the
Committee of American Business Men,
the American Defense society and tbe
Republican Publicity association.
As for the Barnes book, the Demo
crats assert the Republicans are break
ing the law by accepting for tills cam
paign effort contributions from cor
porations. The senatorial committee
decided to hear more of It from Mr.
Bailies, probably in Pittsburgh.
Provoked into recrimination, the Re
publicans are making various accusa
tions against their opponents. In the
first place Chairman Hays asserted
the Democrats were planning to raise
a fund of $10,000,000 —which the lat
ter promptly denied. Then Mr. Hays
charged that the liquor Interests were
actively engaged in supporting the
campaign of Governor Cox; and he
produced a letter signed by the pres
ident of the New Jersey Federation
of Liquor Interests wlrioji said the
organization had set out to do Its part
toward the election of Mr. Cox and
called for assistance, rinanclal and oth
erwise. The reply of the Democrats
to this IS that they have recced no
contributions from either the or
the drys.
More serious, perhaps, was the ac
cusation made before the sendfbrs
the Democrats were breaking the
law by assessing federal officeholders
for campaign money. W. D. Jamleson,
director of finances for the Demo
cratic national committee, was ques
tioned closely concerning this and
partly admitted its truth, but said the
soliciting letters were sent to .the
homes of the officeholders and that he
•was soliciting funds from Democrats
as Democrats, not as federal officials.
He said his office had sent out about
800,000 letters of appeal. Heboid of
a card Index of 500.000 Democrats—
with incomes. But he said the income
estimates were made by Democratic
leaders in the various neighborhoods,
not from the Income tax reports In
thei department" at Washington.
The combiijgd efforts of Senators
Reed, ,Spencer; Edge and Kenyon
brought out from Mr. Jamleson the
fact that federal officials generally
were solicited; that tbey were ln
formed of the exact amount they, were
expected to give, and that only those
who were so poorly paid that Mr.
Jamleson "didn't think It worth while
to waste a 10-cent special delivery otf
a 1-cent man" were excepted from the
assessment
Samuel Gompers and his associates
In the management of the American
Federation of Labor have finally an
nounced themselves in the mat
ter of the presidential campaign.
The "nonpartisan political com
mittee" 'of the federation baa' Is
sued a report on the candidates
f>r the presidency In which Governor
Cox Is proclaimed a stronger cham
pion of organized labor than Senator
Harding. Consequently members of
unions are urged to,vote for Cox. Tbe
report, which Is signed by Gompers,
Matthew Woll and Frank Morrison,
lists as "favorable" or "unfavorable"
to labor the legislative record of Sen
ator Harding as a member of the Ohio
stnte senate and in the United States
senate on measures In which organised
labor had a special Interest
It does likewise with Mr. Cox as a
member of the house Id 1912 and as
governor of Ohio In 1913, 1914, 1917-
19-20. The records of the candidates
are summed up as follows:
Harding—Favorable, 7; unfavorable,
10; paired unfavorably, 1.
Cox—Favorable, 60; unfavorable, 0.
More trouble has broken out in tßfe
mining fields. PreAd'ent Wilson, after
receiving and approving tbe report of
the wage award made by tile federal
commission for the anthracite miners,
telegraphed his urgent request thst tbe
men also accept It The miners' scale
committee did this under protest but
a strong minority in 06 locals refused
and voted to take a "vacation" until
better terms were granted. In some of
the fields also work has
ceased. In Alabama the meq struck
on order of President Lewis because;
he says, the terms of the agreement
are not being carried .out by the op
erators. In lowa the miners snd op
erators filled to reach an agreement
but there inay be no strike there.
New York was bsdly tied up by an
unexpected strike of about 8,000 em
ployees of tbe Brooklyn Rapid Trans
it company, which concern Is In the
hands of a federal receiver who re
fused the wage demands of the men.
For days very few carawqre operated.
The railroads of the country began
operations on their awn resources on
September 1. During tbe six montha
in which their earnings were guaran
teed by the transportation act they
cost the government about $100,000,000
a month. The only further aid. they
will get from the government comea
from loans from the revolving fund
created by the act.
The Tennessee house of representa
tives tried to undo Its action In rati
fying the suffrage amendment by ex
punging from Its journal all record of
tlie ratification and voting' to noncon
cur in the action of the senate. Next
day the senate refused to join with'
the house "in its attempted, reversal
of the ratification. Secretary of State
Colby says woman suffrage Is an ac
complished fact and that there Is no
chance for reconsideration.
Another great victory for the Poles
was recorded last week. General
Budenny's bolshevlst army, which had
invaded Gallcia and was threat
ening Lemberg and the rich oil
fields of that region, was cut
off and virtually destroyed. Only
a few detachments- escaped and
these were reported In disorderly re
treat. Budenny's men, mostly mount
ed, were advancing on Lublin and bad
nearly .surrounded Zamosc, midway
that city and Lemberg, whop
the Poles flanked them tad attacked
from the east, putting them to r&it.
The Russians had walked into a trap
deliberately set by tbe Poles. The
losses of tbe reds in men and mate
rial were heavy. The "retirement" of
this-army was officially admitted ly
Moscow.
In the north the Russo-Pollsh war de
generated Into a confused series of
Isolated battles, various units of both
sides being separated from their main
commands and In some cases forced
across the East Prussian border. In
general, however, the Poles continued
their successes of the former week,
and they even advanced into Lithuan
ian territory for strategic purposes
klesplte the orders of Lithuania to the
-jjtoutrary. What Germany would 1 do
/with the many thousands of reds who
jjpok refuge In East Prussia was a
dressing question. The Poles feared
nese 'men would be permitted to re
enter Russian territory and rejoin
their army, and there waa> reason for.
this' fear. Tbe Germans complained
fbfey had not enough troops there to
guard the interned reds, but their
hatred of the Poles Is so great that
their tootlves are open to grave sus
picion.
What, promised to develop Into an
other severe blow for the soviet Rus
sians was the drive started by the
Ukrainians In. con junction with Po
land. They began by forcing tbe reds
across the Dniester river near Buczacs
and capturing that city. They have
another force operating along the
Dniester river and It Is hoped that It
can unite with General Wrangel.
The peace parley at Minsk broke up,
but the bolshevik government an
nounced Its willingness to resume the
negotiations at Riga.
Dr. Walter Simons, German foreign
minister, told the relchstag that pro
posals had been made to him to co
operate with Russia against the west
ern powers as a means of breaking the
bonds Imposed by the treaty of Ver
sailles, but that he had rejected them
because they would -mean that Ger
many would become the theater of
war. He said had also rejected
proposals to unite with the western
powers against RusJfa. "No power at
war with soviet Russia," the, foreign
minister added, "need count on our
support."
1 »
At last reports Lord Mtyor Mac-
Swlney of Cork bad not succeeded la
starving himself to death in Brixton
jail, but wifs growing mysteriously
stronger. Tbe riots In Ireland and
efforts elsewhere In his behalf did not
cease, but the British government flat*
ly refused to release him. Frank P.
Walsh, chairman of the American com
mission for Irish Independence, after
an Interview with Secretary of Stat*
Colby, made the curious assertion that
Mr. Colby has promised to "endeavor
to do something and do it quickly" 14
behalf of the priaoner. What any
American oflfMal can do properly, la
, the circumstances, Is'a pussle.
X prfty you with all earnestness to
prove, and know within your hearts,
thai alt thing* lovely and righteous
i are possible for those who belteVe In
their responsibility and who deter*
mine that, for their part, they will
make-every day's work contribute to
them.—John Rusk In ■!
A SYMPOSIUM OF SALADS.
There fs never a sameness in the
art of snla/] ranking, for one has, an
Infinite variety from
I which to choone raw ma
terials. Cooked food,
I odds and ends of left
overs which would oth
erwlse be wafted, may
■ H go' Into the salad bowl
R and become an attrac
tive dish, with a well
i-3. prepared And an appro
-1 1 prlate dressing.
Fisherman's Salad.
Take two pounds of cooked fish, one
pound of trailed potatoes, a juarter of
a head of white cabbage; reason with
salt and pepper. After flaking the flsh
and shredding the cabbage add cay
enne pepper to season well, one
pickled beet finely .chopped, Wso two
cucumbers. Mix all together and serve
with any good salad dressing. J
Potato Salati.
The best potato salad Is made with
potatoes cooked especially for jtbe
salad , and seasoned before thej be
come cold. 801 l small-sized potatoes
with their skins on, peel and cut In
cubes, add seasoaings of salt and pep
per and raarinalte with a thin dress
ing—either a cooked dressing thinned
with cream or a well seasoned French
dressing. Dressing them while warm
•ends the seasoning through them and
makes a much more palatable salad.
Minced onion, fresh mustard finely
minced, n handful of blanched and
shredded almonds and a cucumber or
two will make the finest kind of a
salad, providing the salad dressing is
a good well seasoned one. Just be
fore serving add the thick salad dress
ing and the cucumber unless kept very
cold Will lose Its crlspness.
Simple Tomato Salad.
Scnld and peel perfectly ripe toma
toes of uniform size. Place In a dlsb
and cover with Ice and salt for half
an hour to chill thoroughly. Bub a
salad bowl with the cut side of a ■clove
of garlic and arrange the crisp, ten
der leaves of the heart of head lettuce
as a lining to the salad bowl. Arrangfe
the tomatoes cut, in quarters s or, If
small cut in without sepa
rating the pieces and pour over a good
mayonnaise dressing which has been
seasoned with minced onion.
Veal Salad.
Cook a stQall piece of veal„ln a
broth made of chicken bones an (I wa
ter, or cook the veal with the chicken.
Let the meat cool in the broth, then
cut it In small cub£s; mix with celery
and salnd dressing and It will be hard
to tell from a chicken salad.
It matters not how the gate,
How .charged with* punishment the
goal;
I the master of my fate,
I am the Of my aoul.
In the fell clutcn of circumstance
I have not winced or cried aloud;
Beneath the bludgeonings of dhance.
My head la bloody, but unbowed.
—Henley.
„ THINGB WORTH KNOWING.
If a cork Is todj large for the bottle
n which you wish to use It, |ay 11
sideways and. roll
i "TTHBT it with a small
r board under all
r— I the pressure you
- frS can P?t upon It
t" fflp 1 *J. This will elongate
BMI £*vj[ it to fit the bot-
Ripping Is ar
easy task if safety razors are used tc
do the work. 
To keep the eyebrows clean and tc
stimulate their growth «>nd beauty,
they should be brushed gently with a
spft brush night and morning. In
plying any tonic or oil only the small
est amount should be used.
Chicken which will not cook 'tendei
may be made so by the addition of a.
teaspoonful of alcohol In the" water.
Vinegar will also soften the fiber ol
meat, a tablespoonful to the kettle ol
stew.
To make mint extract, pick the
. fresh leaves of mint, wash and drj
and pack into a bottle as full as pos
sible; cover with alcohol and let stand
two weeks, then strain and bott'e foi
future use. This la the real stuff and 1
one need not fey to use It.
Buckles, bcuds and buttons of poV
Ished steel may be beautifully cleaned
by covering with unslaked lime and
leaving for a abort Mme.
Suede shoes or slippers may t*
rubbed with emery paper and they will
look like new.
Dry bran la very valuable for clean
ing purposes, an la cornmeal. Rub 11
Into fur, where the soiled spots am
rub harder, then brash off. Ermln
and delicate furs are cleaned well It
this way.
Velvet coat collars and collars at
mens' coats may be cleaned eosllj
with cornmeal wet with gasoline aik
rubbed well Into tbe pile of the velvet
or collar and then brushed oat. Can
should be taken to keep away from at
fere.
A damp doth wrapped around th
throat and covered with a dry one wll
relieve a sufferer from a hackln •
cough.
The Jazz One of Direct Causes of |
Marital Discord and Divorce.
By DUQUE, Summtr Palace, Parte, France.
Does a jazzing woman mate a good wife or a jazzing man make a
good husband? Nol to both questions.
I look upon the jazz as oneof the direct causes of the increasing tend
ency toward divorce ind ruined marital happiness. No man or woman is
normal after dancing to the music of a jazz orchestra for more than half
fen hour.
Not one temperament in a. thousand can stand an afternoon of jazz
and remain sane. Jazz music produces a fevered disorder of the brajjv
leading to bsd temper, slackness, lassitude and bad health;
These are the reasons the dancing craze in Europe is near its end.
Husbands don't take their wives to dsnce, because they fin"nt~E6evitably
means a raggedy temperament afterward. Mothers forbid their daughter*
to jazz because it leads to irresponsible actions.
The only hope for the "dance is to abolish the jazz and bring back the
old, healthy dances—the waltz, the polka, the tango and the maxixe.
These were beautiful dances because the music they were danced to was
beautiful. \
No one-step danced to jazz music can be anything but hideous.
Beet Storage of Beede.
Seeds whlqji are to be held over for
another year's planting should be kept
dry and shoald be protected, fron? Alice
and weevil. *
> ' Sow Rape With Corn.
Of the crops commonly seeded with
corn at the last cultivation rape is the
one which is used most frequently.
- ■ —■ —r "— l - /
Green Manure Crop.
. Some farmers seed white dweet clo
ver with corn at the la-st cultivation
for green manure.
Ugly, Unsightly Pimples
Are Signals of Bad Blood
Give Heed to the Warning.
Pimples on the face and other
parts of the body are warnings
from Nature that your blood i*
sluggish and impoverished. Some
times they foretell eczema, boils,
blisters, scaly eruptions and other
skin disorders that burn like
flames of fire.
They mean that your blood needs
S. S. S. to cleanse it of these ac
cumulations that cause unlimited
HAD USE FOR HIS M4LLION
Zeb Would at Least Employ It to Good
Advantage, as Far as It
Would Go.
A party of baymen gathered round
the stove In a little oyster stfack qn
the Great South bay started the old,
old question of what they would do
If they suddenly came Into possession
of $1,000,000. Some bought great
ocean-going yachts; others endowed
schools, and one even offered to con
tribute his to help out the govern
ment. ' >
The question, finally came round to
old Zeb Banks, noted, as the ne'er-do
well of tlie fishing neighborhood.
"And now, Zeb, you've been keeping
pretty quiet," one of them said. "Jnst
what'd you do If you had a million dol
lars?" ' t V
"Well, I don't know 'zactly," re
sponded Zeb reflectively as he spat at
the stove. "I reckon I'd pay it on my
debts, 's far as It went."—Saturday
Evening Post.
Celebration.
Knlcker —"Did he have a birthday
cake with candles?" Bocker—"Yes,
he had a cake of yeast and got lit up."
The Idoa.
"Are yovl thinking of taking this
flat?"
"I am room-li»ting about It."
Cfhose u)ho haOe used
I POSTUM !
CEREAL !
instead of coffee during
the pastyear are sure to be
ahead in purse and are Quite
apt to be ahead in health.
Fair price, unifonnfy
pleasing flavor and gez* |
eral table satisfaction keep
Bostum in first place with J
many a family, /
I "There's a Reason' |
I fttstnmCneal Company he
Mich: J fg§||| p
Essentials for Turkeye.
Turkeys must have fresh air; tor
keys must have dean food and
water from vessels scalded each day,
and turkeys must have fresh ground*
on which to forage.
Shade (or Fowls.
Where there is no natural shades
screens of burlap, muslin or branches
covered with straw should be provided.
Bunflower Silage.
Sunflowers mature earlier than com
and yield more tons of silage per am
trouble. This remedy is the grert
est vegetable blood piirifler known,
' and contains no minerals or'chem
> icals to injure the most delicate
i skin.
Get a bottle of S. S. S. today;
> and get rid of those unsightly and
' disfiguring pimples, and other skin
i irritations. If you wish' special
medical advice, you can. obtain it
i without charge by writing to Med
• leal Director, 105 Swift Labora-
I tory, Atlanta, Ga. '
HE GOT HIS ROUTES MIXED
Negro Soldier's Amusing Explanation
as to How U Was He Got —•
His 'Wound.
* ——
A medical corps officer chanced upon
a negro acquaintance of civil life one
day In France. /-
"How do you like the army, Moset"
he asked.
"'S'all right so far, cap'n," replied
the ne&ro, "but Ah don" know how rm
goln' to like It when dem Germans
shoots .at me."
"Don't worry about that," replied the
officer. "All you have to do Is zig
zag." And he demonstrated.
The next time the two ,raet, the ne
gro was In a hospital.
"What's the matter with you, Mose?"
asked the officer.
•T ain't sure, cap'n, but Ah think I
must have been ziggin' 'bout de tide
Ah oughta been zaggln'."—American
Legion Weekly.
Uniform* perries.
"What nice large strawberries!"
said the lady In the market.
"Yes, ma'am; aren't they beauties?"
replied the man with the near-white
apron.
"How do you sell them?"
"Fifty cents a quart, ma'am."
"And are they Just the same at the
bottom of the basket as on the top?"
"Oh, yes, ma'am; fifty cents ■
quart, Just the same."