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[J Events in the Lives of Little Men []
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fX.T'8 POINT or TO*
"Who was the meanest man?"
"The fellow that invented fly
TREAT
One day Betty went downtown.
She had token* to go on but no
money to spend. On her return she
confided to her mother.
"I fared pretty weU to be broke.
First, I received ? free sample of
fum on the street, then a taste of
crackerjack in a store, then a drink.
After'a tree spray of perfume 1
weighed myself for nothing and
came home."
HOW ABOUT NOW?
"I was la Chicago a year ago and
I mat a lot c< live people out there."
"Yea, but that was a year ?? "
Blessed Are the
Poor in Spirit
it) rggv
Py D. V. FAY
(McChin Syndicate?WWU Scrrlct.)
( ( r | ?* OBY, we should be
I ashamed. I'll never for
X give myself, I know
that I"
"Forgive yourself for what?" Toby
Candor demanded menacingly.
"Forgive yourself for what?" He
was the richest man in town and
there were girls in Newkirk who
thought he was handsomest in a
menacing mood; handsome eyes
narrowed, dark face tempestuous,
his white teeth a crescent of scorn.
"For giving you the idea that you
could . . ."
"Kiss you?" he finished derisive
ly. "And what's wrong with that?
There wouldn't have been anything
wrong last year; but now you're en
gaged; is that it? Engaged to the
Reverend Warren Hollls; the high
spirited Reverend Warren. He loves
you; he's going to marry you. But
tonight he's busy. He had to carry
a glass of jelly to a sick old lady, so
he lets me take you home. What's
the matter with him anyway?
Doesn't he know we were engaged
once? Didn't he see anything to
night? He lets me take you -heme.
Look here, Caroline, are you going
through life with a solution of dish
water disguised as a minister? Are
you, Caroline?Darling?"
His dark face came closer, closer.
Caroline drew back, murmured
through a spasm of partial suffoca
tion:
"Toby! Don't!" She tried to calm
herself, to talk with somethim like
composure.
"I suppose he thought we were to
be trusted, Toby. I suppose he?"
"He's too good tor this world,"
Toby said briefly; contemptuously.
"Look here, Caroline," his tone
changed abruptly. "You're marry
ing me; you may have other ideas
on the subject," .he pursued superb
ly, "but you may as well get rid of
them. You're marrying me. When
I go after things, I -get them. You
know that, don't you, Caroline?
Don't you?"
"Toby I" -ci'
Doubtfully and reluptfntly, she
consulted her sister the next day.
They were arranging their moth
er's old-fashioned living room for
the junior charity bridge club.
"I know I'm not in love with Toby,
Gwen. When I'm in a sensible mood
I keep telling myself that Toby Con
dor could drive any woman crazy.
I haven't any illusions about him.
But I don't know. There's some
thing Toby has that I miss in War
ren. Warren's so calm. Oh, ifs
exasperating. You can't know what
I mean, Gwen. Warren never loses
his temper. Never!"
"And you like volcanoes," her sis
ter said. "Perhaps you'd better take
Toby, Caroline. I don't know many
bad-tempered ministers."
"Gwen, suppose I were to marry
Toby."
"Suppose you were to?" Gwen
stopped, dumbfounded.
She stood there, absently pleating
a lace paper napkin. "It's gone
that far, has it?"
"No. No, honestly, Gwennle,"
said Carol^ie, ashamed, "I just
meant that I don't get a chance to
think when I'm with Toby. He's so
quick! Oh, I love Warren, I do love
him, but he's so calm. I would like
it if I weren't always sure just what
Warren will do next."
"Well, no woman will ever be too
sure of Toby," her sister said dryly.
"No. No"woman ever will," Car
oline agreed. "You don't know how
much easier It's made things, talk
ing them over with you. I could
have mulled over them for hours by
myself. Well, I know now," she
said seriously, "that I'm willing to
take Warren, whatever he does and
whatever he is. Don't you think I'll
make a nice sweet wife tor a mild
young minister, huh, Gwennie?"
Her sister laughed.
"Yes, I do. But I wouldn't see
any more than I could help of the
very honorable Toby."
"Oh, I won't. I simply won't see
him any more. He's going to phone
today, he said. Well, if he does, he
never will again."
They were silent..
And then the imperative shrill of
the telephone rioted through the
quiet.
"Well," Gwen said challengtagly.
Quickly and rigid with determina
tion, Caroline went to the telephone.
"Toby?" She was confused, deaf
ened. Her blood pounded. "Listen
to me, Toby. It took ma' U hours
to figure out that you did a despica
ble, dishonorable thing last night.
Ifs going to take me 11 seconds
to tell you, you aren't getting a
chance to repeat it You don't un
derstand, Toby? I think you do. And
in the light of what happened, I
think it's impudence for you to
phone me and sheer sptneieseness
for me to be answering."
She came away from the phone
grim, panting, satisfied.
"I feel better aboat Warren some
how," she admitted. "I feel almost
as if I'd told him all about it"
The morning gave place to after
noon. Caroline's bridge chib came
and went And with the soft spring
dusk a wispy summer rain came
and danced daintily upon the win
dows. While Caroline was-sittiag la
the fire-lit half darkness of the liv
ing room, the phone rang again. She
answered it and heard, with a haocv
' Si. . ;. J- l X
tightening of her throat, the voice
of the Reverend Warren Hollis.
"Caroline," (she could almost see
his serious, spectacled young face
while she listened to pis .slaw good
humored voice,)' "I just noticed that
it's raining. Be sure and wear your
rubbers tonight."
Caroline laughed.
She would wear her rubbers.
Would he come to supper? No, he
couldn't. Some Sunday School boys
had spilled ink allover his books,
the Reverend Warren said cheer
fully; he must clean up the mess.
? 'Tgrgpodnees'sehsi'- cri^ Caro
line, exasperated, don t i you ever
get mad?" ?^
She put down - the phone and
smiled into the darkness. /
What did sMPcare if be didn't!
She loved him.
"Caroline!" It was her father's
voice with a strange urgency ip it
that brought Caroline blinking into
the brightly lighted hall. ^
"What is it?" she asked breath
lessly, sensing something she could
not define.
"Caroline, did yoik know that Toby
Condor is in the hospital?"
"Toby? Dad, be didn't try to?to
kill himMlf?'"she asked, trembling.
"He didn't, did he, Dad?"
? "Kill.himself?' He eyed her keen
ly. "No. He 'isn't "barfly hurt. Had
his face pretty well smashed and
lost two teeth; that's all."
The front hall dipped and reeled.
Her father's head swam around in
a green mixture fuli of the front
stairs and the picture frames as well
as-the paternal head.
"Who?" she asked. "Why?"
"The Reverend Warren Hollis did
it," he said. "And we want to know
why. His housekeeper says that he
called our number this 'morning and
asked for you. He listened to you
for a few minutes,"? her father con
tinued impressively, "without say
ing much, if anything., After which,
he dashed from the ho\)?C aftd com
mitted this assault upon Tohy Con
dor." ??' 10' ?T I
"Warren phoned me this morn
ing," she muttered over a thudding
chest; with dawning understanding.
"There'll be trouble over this'Car
oline," the man said heetily.' ?
"Oh, it's awful," she whispered
seriously. But a strange, not en
i tirely appropriate joy was seeping
through her.
Early Scholars Created
Little Demand for Paper
In the early day* of King Tut
Ankh-Amen?and after?there ' was
little enough need for papir." "*
It was a rare scholar who could
read his hieroglyphics, and a rarer
one who could write them. And so
a little paper was sufficient for a
long time.
But in those days paper, like ev
erything else, was made by hand.
Indeed, it was made by hand for
centuries, but while so little of it
was required, the limited amount
a skilled workman could make in a
day was adequate.
Gradually, however, things
changed, and after several centuries
had settled the dust over Tut-Ankh
Amen's royal tomb, paper had be
come a more or less necessary part
of civilization.
By the time the Nineteenth cen
tury had rolled around, the demand
for cheap ^pnd abundant paper was
so urgent that machines for its man
ufacture were invented. Today,
those machines have been so
changed and perfected that they can
produce tons of paper in a day.
Of course, the most abundantly
made paper nowadays is cheap
newsprint paper. A single edition
of any large daily newspaper actual
ly requires tons of paper.,,
Newsprint paper?which is the
poorest of all qualities of paper?is
merely mashed and ironed wood
pulp. Many kinds of logs are used,
the best sorts having little resin in
The. logs are ground into mush,
the wood fibers float off loosely sep
arated in the water and are caught
on a wire screen. The function of
, the paper machine is to dry and iron
the wet, thin layer of pulp into sheets
of paper, by means of hot rollers.
,i But the better grades of paper are
made by dissolving out, with various
chemicals, all of the impurities, like
resin, in the wood until only the
fiber remains. Spruce, balsam and
hemlock are the best woods for this
purpose.
In forme; years, old rags were
used kf the manufacture of the best
paper, but bow wood fiber has been
successfully substituted for them.
Straw, cornstalks, flax, bamboo and
many other fibers are more and
more taking the place of the pulp
of forest trees in the manufacture
of paper, which is one of the Ave
largest industries of America.
Doable Bid for Fame
St. Vincent, ISO mile* north of
Venezuela'! coast off northern South
America, is the leading producer of
arrowroot, widely used as an in
valid and baby food, and by house
wives and cooks in making candies,
desserts, puddings and biscuits and
for thickening gravies, soups and
sauces.
St. Vincent is rich IS history as
well as in products of the soil. Its
Botanic.garden, oldest in the New
world, was estabHshed-in 170 and'
it was to obtain breadtrsit tree spec
imens for this garden in 17ST that,
the British naval vessel Bounty
saftod to the South Seas whefc the
famous mutiny on the Bounty oc
curred. Eventually" Captain Bligh
of the Bounty, brought .back to St
Vincent KM) choice specimens for
the garden.
On the
Funny
Side"
??t-?i?r
SHATTERED
The futurist artist was via King
the home of his only patron.
"By the way," said the patron,
"did you bear about the burglary
that occurred here the other night?"
"No," said the artist. "Did they
get away with much?"
"A few bits of jewelry," said the
other. "And you know that picture
I bought from you. They cut it out
of its frame, and?"
The artist gave a cry of delight.
"Good! My fortunes made." he
said. "This is just the sort of ad
vertisement I want."
"And," continued the patron light
ly, "they, took the frame and left
the picture/'
Not a Chance
The caller knocked at the door.
"Is Mr. Smith in?" he asked.
"Yes, he is," replied the lady of
the house.
"That's fine," said the visitor,
"Maybe 1 can collect the money he
owes me."
Mrs. Smith smiled scornfully.
"You're an optimist," she said.
"If my husband had any money he
wouldn't be in."
A KINDLY WARNING
He?Ignorance is bliss.
She?Then you should be very
careftd as you come into a full real
ization of your happiness ? you
might die of joy.
Last Time
Bjones?How are you getting on
with your courtship of Miss Cherry?
Dzudi?Oh, just fine.
Bjones?I'm glad to hear that. I
heard her father objected to you.
Has he changed his'mind?
Dzudi?Oh, yes; be must have.
When he kicked me down the front
steps last night he said it was for
the last time.
Good Answer
Warden?Don't you know that the
bass season is . closed? What are
you doing with that big one on your
line?
McFall?Well, you see. Warden, it
was this way. He'a been stealing
my bait all morning, so I just tied
him up until I get ready to go home.
Keeping Dry
Billy and Bud were having fun
taking a shower bath with the hose
and playing in a tub of water. Sud
denly it began to rain and Billy
said:
"Oh, it is going to rain and moth
er said for me to come home if it
rained."
8ame Things
Father?My son, I won't have you
constantly at the bottom of the class
as you are
Aged Seven (bored)?Can't see it
matters, myself, Pa. They teach
the same thing at both ends.
Retl Portrait
Mrs. Bjones?And the portrait will
be real pretty?
Artist?Of course. You won't know
yourself.
Ne! Ne!
Mabel (after Frank's proposal)?
Not A thousand times, no I
Frank?Well, don't rub it in. I
only asked you once.
NOT ALTOGETHER AN EVIL
"You don't Mtra to mind having
that leaflet fever sign on your bouse
at all."
"Well, there han't been a collec
tor at the door since it was put up."
Crying?There goes a fellow who
seems to take the worst possible
view at everything.
Holowynge?Is he a pessimist,
then?
Cryeng?No; he's a candid camera
i . .
Mrs. B started -out to get a curl
put in her hair and was amused
to bear Mr. B call out after her:
"Don't get an Angora wave put
tot*"
Jlsk Me Jlnoiher
% A General Quiz
The Qaettiona
1. Are zebras black with white
stripes or white with black
stripes?
2. White persons constitute what
per cent of the people of the Brit
ish empire?
3. Why do people generally walk
in circles when lost?
4. In what cities would you find
the following districts: The Loop;
The Barbary Coast; The Bowery?
5. In what wars did the United
States draft troops?
6. What country is designated by
the sobriquet Cousin Michel?
7. Are animals other than horses
spoken of as thoroughbred?
8. What is the difference be
tween a dove and a pigeon?
9. Are there white elephants?
10. Here is the first line of a well
known poem: "O, young Lochin
var is come out of the west." Can
you give the second line?
The Answer*
1. The basic color of a zebra is
white, and his stripes are black.
2. Fourteen per cent.
3. Because one leg is shorter
than the other.
4. Chicago; San Francisco; New
York.
5. Civil and World wars.
6. Germany.
7. Other animals eligible to be
recorded are spoken of as pure
bred.
8. A dove is a pigeon.
9. White elephants are merely
light-skinned Asiatic elephants, ?
and may occur as the offspring of
normally colored parents. This
type is revered in Siam, and kept
in the royal stables of the mon
arch.
10. "Through all the wide Border
his steed was the best."
Without Modes
Architecture aims at eternity;
and therefore is the only thing in
capable of modes and fashions in
its principles. ? Sir Christopher
Wren.
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