IMAGINARY PHONE
CALLS;
/ HITLER AND FATE
Hitler?Hello. Liaaen, Fate, vas Is
Iqhse?
Fate?You'll here to speak a Uttle
Hitler?Speaking louder got me in
the hole I'm In now. Look, what's
wrong?
Fate?You're taking me I
Hitler?I put my complete future
in pour hands and we were getting
along so wonderfully together for a
long time, remember?
Fate?1 vaguely recall being nice
to yen, but it seems a long time ago.
Hitler ? Ach, don't itl What
changed you?
Fate?Have I changed?
Hitler?Please, lady, whatever you
do, don't kid me I
?
Fate?I'm the same as I've al
ways been. ~
Hitler?Don't be silly I Remember
my rise from a corporal to-chancel
lor, all my easy victories and that
day at Napoleon's tomb?
Fate?That day at Napoleon's
tomb was pretty trying to me.
Hitler?But on that day and again
when I did the little jig in the
Compeigne forest you smiled so
kindly.
Fate ? Yon misinterpreted the
smile; it was a smile of amusement,
not approval.
Hitler?The jig didn't seem funny
to me.
Fate ? That was beeanse yon
couldn't see as far ahead as I could.
?
Hitler?I can't understand it. I
?wept through Czechoslovakia, Po
land, Belgium, France, Denmark,
Norway, Italy, Greece and North Af
rica. ... I swept the British back
to the beaches at Dunkirk. . . .
Fate?Ton did a lot of sweeping
for a paperbanger.
Hitler?You and I had the world
at our feet.
Fate?Speak for your own feet,
pud leave mine out of this!
?
Hitler?Ah, why have you turned
so cold toward met
Fate?I was never warm toward
yen
Hitler?Just look at how far I went
during the first few years . . . you
certainly gave me the green light.
Fate?Yes, I gave you the green
light but don't forget I always knew
where the end of the road was!
<
Hitler?Those smiles, those nods,
those kindly gestures . . . didn't
they mean a thing?
Fate?Not necessarily. That's how
I work
Hitler?And you never meant to
stick with me?
Fate?It was presumptuous of you
to think so. What could I see in yon
that I couldn't see in the little peo
ples of the earth, the unprepared
and the helpless? Did your ally
think I could pass 'em all np for you,
Himmler, Goering and Goebbels?
Now really!
(Fate laughs a little hysterically.)
Hitler ? Donnerwetterl So you
have double-crossed me!
Fate?And a neat little Joke, if you
ask me. Tallyhoi
v Hitler (hanging up and turning to
his people)?Forward to inevitable
victory 1 I am your invincible lead
er. '
German People?And so Is your
eld mkn!
, ? ? ? ?
Back Home Staff.
Te ed realized an ambition of
years' standing the other day when
he went back to Indian river, dug
up a two-horse sleigh, and, with the
Missus, did a Mr. and Mrs. Currier
across the snow-packed countryside.
We heard that Tex Noone had a nice
pair of horses and had been seen
driving them to an old-fashioned
pong. The pong wasn't quite what
we wanted, and we asked if he
had a regular two-seater sleigh
arodnd. Tex said he had.
?
"Do you think it will stay in one
piece?" we asked. Tex was a little
uncertain. Ha took some wire off a
bale of hay and made reinforce
menta of a kind. 4nd went to
the merriest tune of sleighbelis you
ever heard . . . down the back
roads "by the Webshop, over the
rustic bridge across the Wepawaug
and down Gulf street humming
"Jingle Bells." ... We had no idea
a two-horse sleigh would attract so
much attention. ... People came to
doorways smiling. . ? . Kids gaped
in ewe. . . . Cap. Perry waved
cheerily from his front porch on
the river . . . and the driver of the
2:05 bus was so surprised he stopped
so he wouldn't scare the horses
. . . We haven't had such a kick in
years. P. S.?Anybody got a two
horse sleigh in good condition?
?? ?: ?
A. Brooklyn man was sentenced to
Jail (or 90 days for throwing a steak
at Us wife. That is no way to treat
? steak.
? ? ?
Marshal Zhakav, greatest af the
Baltam military chiefs, started rat
In Ufa to learn the far trade. This
asay account far his skill In trap
?1 don't hams- K the Nazis an
haad-pssaaad. but ^they're certainly
MlluJI As
Chic Cape-Ensembles Achieve
A 4New Costume' Look for Spring
By CHERIE NICHOLAS
>. umc/ininij most exciting is nap
pening in the realm of the cos
tume-suit these days. It's that capes
are giving a refreshingly new cos
tume look to smart suit ensembles
for spring. In fact, fashion is stag
ing a veritable cape parade for the
new season. The costume suit flaunts
voguish cape, the smart softly
styled dress adds a cape, the sedate
redingote acquires a dramatic cape
and there are endless versions that
companion a cape with skirt and
blouse to the delight of career and
college girl as well as the teen-age
group.
It's plain to be seen that the ad
vent of capes inihe new spring mode
has opened up a channel of design
that promises a refreshingly new in
dividuality. Seeing that the cape
costume offers endless possibilities
for excitihg adventures in way of
striking color contrasts, fabric com
binations, style creators are going
all out with bold gestures that are
bringing new drama and dash and
intriguing color into the fashion pic
ture.
The two cape fashions illustrated,
shown at the women's wear spring
fashion clinic recently held in the
Merchandise Mart of Chicago, give
evidence that the cape costume has
become a wonderful inspiration for
designers to create with that touch
of genius that counts for outstanding
style distinction. Checks are tri
umphing anew in the mode and they
are particularly good looking made
up in the new voguish cape suits,
after the manner of the costume to
the left in the illustration. Discrim
inating dressers find infinite appeal
in a high-styled costume of this
conservative yet strikingly chic
type.
A luggage tan belt and black
blouse add style emphasis to this
black and white checked cape-style
suit. Later on this voguish check
cape suit will make the costume
ideal for mild spring days, worn with
fine lingerie blouses or with a blouse
in any of the new and highly fash
ionable pastels.
The grand thing about the new
cape suits and costumes is that they
are so versatile in their styling.'
You can be as conservative in taste
as you please, choosing beautifully
tailored types in smart checks or
refined pin-stripe gray fabrics, or in
weaves that are in the new soft neu
tral shades or in the now-so-fash?
ionable all-navy. On the other hand,
you can go as far as you like both
in color extravaganza or iat the use
of more fabrics than one; made up
in a single costume, for fabric com
bination is an important theme this
spring. Designers are doing clever
things with gay prints combined
with plain, after the manner of the
four-piece ensemble pictured, which
is in kelly green, highlighted with a
print in gorgeous color. Corn-flow
er print on a bright tomato back
ground brings drama to this short
jacket suit together with cape and
blouse. The vivid print makes the
blouse, repeating the print in cape
lining and jacket accents. The im
portance of the costume look is
stressed in this dashing four-piece.
For a cape costume to be made
all of one material and in one color
is also tres chic. Stunning navy blue
cape-jacket-and-skirt threesomes are
seen in smart new costume collec
tions. The three pieces offer wide
opportunity to mix and match with
other apparel in your wardrobe. An
other color gesture seen in smart
cape fashions is that of combining
three shades of one color. Enthusi
asm for neutral tones runs high as
shown in suits and coats and caps
costumes of wools in pale beige and
subtle grays and the very smart off
white shades such as white wine and
oyster white. The new pussy-willow
gray is * fascinating color featured
in spring costumes.
Kslsassd by Western Newspaper Union.
Chic Flannel Blouse
American designer* make the
smartest casual do the* on the face
of the globe, as illustrated by this
spun rayon flannel blouse with its
bright piping and pearl buttons.
Note how the piping outlines the
edges of pocket, neckline, sleeves
and front opening, adding a new and
fetching accent. TTie tailored skirt is I
spun rayon and wool in a smart
chalk- stripe. Smartness is not con
fined to this styling of a garment for
it requires quality-kind material
underwritten with guarantee as to
color fastness, shrinkage and other
wear'factors. A really smart shop
per looks foe informative labels.
'bis?At irfria'vHVih&iiifcteiaiflflr
Jeweled Chokers Are
Easy to Make at Home
The choker and dog-collar con
tinue In high favor. The velvet
ribbon type that tiea in the back is
particularly flattering, and with nim
ble Angers and a gift of imagina
tion one can easily make a charm
ing jewel-embroidered velvet band
that encircles the throat and ties at
the back. If you happen to have
a bracelet that links flat jeweled
items together lay it flat on the
velvet band across the front cen
ter, then with needle and thread
tack it firmly in place. You will be
surprised at the handsome choker
you will have. Three plastic flow
ers placed two inches apart across
the front of a velvet band be
tween which a little gold thread
embroidery is worked is another
way of acquiring an attractive dog
collar.
Dotted Fabric Combined
Witb Contrasting Color
If you do your own sewing, you
may bo interested in this Idea for
making a pretty little daytime frock.
It, has to do with - print fabric
(either florals or polka dot) made
up in contrast color. For example,
use a white polka dot on a navy
ground with a white polka dot on a
bright red ground, or combine a
white scroll design on a brown hack
ground with the same white scroll
repeated on a light green ground.
The effect is strikingly new and at
- -? --- -
??We?d by Wuton Nmnptf PiH?.
GAME OF POWER POLITICS
KEEPS DP ITS PACE
DESPITE ANYTHING WE CAN
do now the' gami of power politics
will d elayed in Europe as it . wee
for. long. jeer*- before, end for the
years Win, World- War I.
At any time between the German
invasion of France and after the at
tack on Russia we are re in a posi
tion to dictate to England and Rus
sia. Both countries needed both
credit add war production facilities,
both of which America could pro
vide. What were but penciled
memos, made on battleships in the
Atlantic, could have been a formal
document, with the signature of the
Kritish prime minister, in exchange
for American lend-lease credit and
dn unlimited call on our war pro
duction facilities. Had we have had
signed agreements covering those
ideals in which we believed then,
and still believe, those documents
would have been good. Neither Eng
land nor Russia would have repudi
ated them.
The Jap attack on Pearl Harbor,
followed immediately by Germany's
declaration of war against us, made
a big difference. It suddenly became
our war and we had to win it. To do
so we must have the support of
both England and Russia. They no
longer heeded to make concessions
to get America's help. Those scrib
bled notes, that expressed American
Ideals, became only scribbled notes.
England would play the game her
way. She would make no pretense of
liquidating the King's empire to
comply with American ideals. Eng
land is committed to imperialism.
Under such conditions Russia would
not consider the maintenance of
national boundaries as they existed
before the war started. She would
take what she wanted regardless of
Ahierica's wishes. ,
Gst IA ma. A lam A >m ...
w it i*m tuai miivi m en
try into the war again itarted
the game of power polities in
Europe. Despite anything we
may now do that game win
continue. Europe and much of
Asia will be spheres of influence,
divided between. England and
Russia, with Fraitoe attempting
to take a hand.
The world will be safe for a time.
Russia will have what she imme
diately wants. The .British empire
will remain intact?for a time at
least. Russia wfll be boss in the
Slav Balkans. England will occupy
the same position in western Eu
rope, and all will seemingly be well.
Th* day may come when Russia will
seek to expand in the near east or
in China, and if she does she will
step on England's toes. Then there
will again be trouble brewed from
the European power politics of to
day.
Dumbarton Oaks will be
largely an idle gesture. Noth
ing we can new do will write
for the world an insurance poli
cy against a war in the future.
The small nations of the east
' era hemisphere will receive and
accept orders from the bosses,
and some future generation will
pay the bill. The Arthur Bal
four prophecy of 1111, of what
would happen should America
got into an European war ho
saw coming, will be proven true.
America cannot now bo the
world's peaeemsker.
TEMPERAMENT IN
BUSINE88 CONDUCT
TWO OF MY FRIENDS have
lived the same number of 76 years.
One was English born. Came to
this country when a young man.
Worked to achieve a competence on
which he could retire at the age of
60, that ha might spend his remain
ing years at play. Being English
the "how" of play was in his Mood,
and for the last 16 years play has
been his only interest.
The other has a dozen generations
of American forbears back of him.
He started with nothing. At 26 ha
had started and owned a small man
ufacturing business. At 60 that busi
ness employed many hundreds of
people. It was successful. The own
er had capable sons to take it over.
Ha, too, retired to play. But ha
could not stay away from the office
and plants. He did not know how to
play. In less than two months ha
was back in harness again, despite
the proven ability of the boys. For
the past 16 years he has retired
about twice each year, for about 10
days each time. Temperament
forced Mm back each time.
The difference is the temperament
of the English and American people.
The English know how to play. The
American continues to hustle to the
end of the chapter if he is to be
happy.
e e e
TWO TO THREE YEARS AFTER
the war American farmers will
again be in competition with cheap
labor farming, and with a decreased
world demand for food. Present
prices on farm products will not
continue. The middle west soil im
provement committee urges better
cultivation and soil improvement
of present farm acreage, and not
the purchase by farmers of more
acres.
s s s
FANCIED GRIEVANCES cause
SEWING CIRCLE NEEDLECRAFT
Star of the Eaist Easy to Do Cloth
2 m ?
IT'S so quickly memorized, 10
easy, and so effective in
spreads, cloths, scarfs or pillows,
this crocheted medallion.
? * ?
The beginner*? delight, the expert'! pride
?SUr of the East medallion. Pattern
7M0 contains directions for medallion;
stitches.
; ANOTHER I ;
j A General Quiz " \
Thm Questions
l ? ? ' e
1. What Danish king sat on the
throne of . England during the
Middle ages?
2. What is a pedant?
3. What name is given to the
marriage of two people who are
related to each other?
4. Into how many 2-inch cubes
can a 20-inch square be divided?
5. What 17th century French
woman was ar famous heartbreak
er even at the age of 60?
6. Who was the first pin-up girl?
The Anawere
t
1. King Canute sat on the throne
of England.
2. One who makes an ostenta
tious display of learning.
3. Consanguineous.
4. Into 1,000.
5. Ninon De Lenclos.
6. The Maid of Anzio, winner of
the national dancing and beauty
contests 2,060 years age. Statu
ettes of her were sent to Roman
legionaries to cheer them up on
active service.
Dim to on unusually large demand and
current war conditions, slightly more time
to required In fining orders lor a lew at
the moot popular pattern numbers.
Oewtag Circle Wssdtocrafl Dept.
tS Eighth In. New Yes*
Enclose li cents far Patten
He * ? ..
Address i
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S'sw^J
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HAW NETS! CgffijPSfci
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? Miriitr Good Eating/ 1
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IF1AKESjjjjffi
cmmsmmmm ri4<?lo
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HiCi
II.?S6I1'Gcli| ??erl
? When children feel sore and achey with a cold, rob in I
Ben-Gay. Watch tha amilaa aa Ben-Gay bringi comfort!
Contain* up to 2Vt timer mora methyl aalicylate and I
menthol?famooa pain-relieving agents that every doctor
know*?than five other widely offered rub-ins. Mild
Ben-Gay was aepedally developed for children. I
*1
Army Medical Corpsmen ran the risks of front line warfare tide-by-side
with the hard-hitting Infantry. Using battery-powered flashlights to help
save time?save lives, pliant "medics" give quick, efficient attention j
to wounded men. Countless war batteries ere needed for weapons and .
lights?that's why supplies are limited on the home
t front Use your batteries carefully?make them lest
longer. Burgess Battery Company, Freeport, Illinois.
Keep Your god Craa of No Sid* I j
BURGESS BATTERIES
IN THE NATION'S SERVICE
SUICCSS lATTHtY COMPANY, ntHPOrr, IIUNOIS