THE ROANOKE NEWS
A DEMOCRATIC
WEEKLY NEWSPAPER,
PUBLISHED BY
IM. LOS A W. IV. II A l L.
THE ROANOKE NEWS
ADVERTISING BATES.
?2 on
l on
75 cK
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
HALIFAX, N. C.
tnr. 201y.
11 11 85
SMirrt, jr.
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Scotland Nkck. Halifax County N. C.
Practices In tho county of Halifax
hnd .adjoining; counties, anil ilin Su
premo court of the State, jnn Iti ly.
"W. HALL,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
WELDON, N. C.
may ltf.
JOS. B. BATCUELOR.
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
RALEIGH, X. C.
Practices In tho courts of tho fith Judi
cial District and in tbo Federal and Su
rema Courts. May 11 tf.
rp W. MASON.
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
GARYSBURGf, N. C.
Practices In tho courts of Northampton
and adjuinimr counties, alao In the Federal
and Supremo courts.
June 8-tf.
rjlIOMAS N. HILL,
Attorney at Law,
HALIFAX, N. 0.
Praotioes in Halifax; and adjoining
Counties and Federal and Supremo Courts.
Will be at Scotland Nook, once every
fortnight.
Aug. 28 -a
ff H- "AY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
WELDON, N. C.
Practices In the court of Halifax and
adjoining counties, and in tho Supremo
and Federal courts.
Claims oolloctod in any part of North
Carolina. jun 20 1 Q
J hi, f R I K Z A E D,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
HALIFAX, N. C.
OHea iu the Court Hons". Strict atten
tion given to all branches of tho profon
aiou. jau 112-1 o
jy R. E. I'. HUNTER,
KCROEOX DENTIST.
Can be found at his ofHVe in Enfield.
lPure Nitrous Onide Has (or the Pain
less Extracting of Teeth always on hand,
June i!2 tt.
32.
T. P & A N C H,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
SirrtBL, HALIFAX COUNTY, N. C.
Pr4tlos In the Counting ef Halifax,
ash, Edgooemba and Wilson.
tJalleotious niado iu all parts of the
State. Jan 12 8 1
KDREW J. IJUBTON,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
WELDON, N. C.
Practices In the Courts of Halifax, War
ten ud Northampton counties and In the
Supreme and Federal Court.
Claims oolloctud iu auy part of North
Carelina. juno 17-a
A V I N L. JI IT M A N ,
ATTORNEY AT LAW
HALIFAX, N. C.
Practices In the courts of Ilalliax and
adjoining oounUns, and la tho Supromo
and Federal Court.
Claims collects I iu all parts of North
Carolina.
IHoa la the Court Houia.
July 4 1 Q.
J
AMES
IE.
0 ' HA HA,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
ENFIELD, X. C.
Practices in tho Counties of HilKax,
Ediiaooinba and NjsIi. In the Supreme
Court r the Stale ana in tue rouerai
Courts.
Collections made in any part of (he
Htata. will attend at tue court House in
Balifex en Monday aud Friday of each
week. Jau o
R
, BURTON, Jr.
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
HALIFAX, N. C.
Praotiees In the Courts of Halifax
Coanty, and Counties adjoining. In the
4aararaa Court of the State, and Iu tbo
ran rai Uourts.
Will iiivo snnol il attentinn tu tho onllec
tion of claims, ind to adjusting the accounts
r Kxeouters, Adminlsrators and (iusr
tliana. dec-li-tf
inn n. hvii.kn.
loui i. uotniK.
Mu
L L R N
MOOR E ,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
iiHtini, n. c.
Practloo in 'ho Counties n' Halifax,
Northampton, KdgARnmhe, 1'ittand Mar
tin In tho .Supreme Court of tlm State
and in the federal Courts 01 tue eastern
Collections ma le iu any part of North
One Tear, la advanco,
Bit Months, "
three Months, "
VOL. VIII.
THE NEOSO IXODUS,
We publish (lie following linns whuh
have b ten handed us, they woro suggested
by tho negro exodus :
I want to be a irgirer,
Aud have Home kiuky hair,
I'd never lenra a linger,
Nor never know a euro.
I'd ti-t my hair In many a kink,
And paws my days in joy;
Ami if 1 had liiy choice, I think,
I'd be a nifrirar boy.
No moro I'J chop thi cotton,
No more tho corn I'd plant,
But all old friends lii'irotti n,
I'd tdiout for ' (ioucral Gnu.t.''
If this were roa'ly the happy ciuo,
Instead of writing stanztM,
I'd ho willi others of my race,
On my way to Kansas.
SEVENTY-FIVE MILES
AN
HOUR.
I had spent a night in a stage, a day
in a saddle, a night in a sleeping car,
half a day doing business, half a day in
bed, and was, alter supper, enjoying a
cigar and a newspaper, in the reading
room of the Redwood House, Fayette,
led. The newspaper wis uninteresting.
or else I was rather sleepy nnd I guoss
it was a little of both so that I soon
neglected it, to watch the fautastic
curling of the smoke from my fine flav
ored cigar. I didn't feel much like
talking, ami felt still less like readme ;
but I did fell as if I would like exceed
ingly well tn hear a good story.
I had barely come to this conclusion,
and commenced wishing for some one
of tuy acquaintances to amuse me till
the time was up for the train which was
to take me to Indianapolis when I rec
Oniied, in the person who sat next to
me, a fellow-traveller iu the sleeping-car
of t )0 night before.
He, too, bad laid ssiJo his paper,
and was apparently, like me, watching
the smoke of his cigar, and wishing for
absent friends to keep hiru company.
Ilawns ft very agreeable-looking h tie
man, with a clear, gray eyes, light hair.
sandy whiskers, and smiling mouth. In
deed, he had so much the appearance
of the man that I would like to hear tell
a story, that I thought Dame Fortuun
had smiled upon ep, when he recog
nized mo with a genial, "IJ -w d'ye do,
stranger:"
I returned his salutation, and akcd
him some common-place questions
about how ho had ci j yed the ride we
had together.
He said something in reply nbotitthe
runnings being too lust for the poor
track ; unJ from this the conversation
ran upon fust traveling in gencrul, for
some time. At lust I remarked, that
sixty miks an hour was the most speedy
tiavcliug that I had ever done. W'liers
upou my friend informed me, with a
pleas.-uit but knowing siniln, that he had
traveled considerably faster than that,
and, in fact, faster than ho had over
heard of, besides. 0;' curse I was
anxious to luio where, how, and when
he had done it; and, after the modest
assurance that he feared his talc would
not he iti'.erestii'c, my fiieud relieved
my anxiety by relating the following
"I am a railroad engineer. Away
along in fifty-seven, during the great
panic, I was running on the F. k (J. 11
11. The railroad companies were going
under, in all directions. l'ery day we
heard of new failures; and quite often
in a quaiter where we icast expected it.
Our mad was generally looked upon as
one of the most substantial in the in -lion;
nobody seemed to hae nr.y fears
that it ou!d fail to mrvise the general
mash-np. Iit yet I did not folly share
in the general co fiile. ee. Wages were
CHtdown; arrearages collected; and a
nrcat many uther little matters seemed
to indicate to me that tho mad had got
into a rather deeper water than w is
agreablo all around. Among other
111102"!, tho roaster mechanic haJ told
me ia the spring that tho company had
ordered four frst quality Taunton en
gines for tho fall passenger business.
Tho road wai put in tho very best con
dition, and other preparations was m id;
to cut down the ti ne, and put tho trains
throuah quicker tliaa was ever known
before, when the new engines should
coino. Well, there was but one of the
engines came.
' I said there was but one engine
came ; Out Mie u, u u.y o.,. ,. .n
together the best ever turned out of the
auntnn Woiks : and that is savinff as
much os con be said iu praise of any
engine. Sue was put in my charge im
mediately, ith tho undersnnding that
she was mine.
"It was Saturday when she came out
of the simp, and I was to take a special
train ur to Y . The tram was to
carry up the president, and several ol
the officers of the road, to meet some
officers of another road, which crossed
ours there, and arrange some important
business with them.
'I had no trouble at all makine" mv
fortv miles an hour Eoii'2 out. The e:i
sine handled berse'.f mo t beautilully
We were jost holding up at Y , when
AUIrich, the treasure, who had come out
on the platform to put the hr:ikn on
slipped and fell. As wo were yet under
good headway, ho was very much ic
ijred, and was carried off tu tho hotel
insensible.
"According to tho president's direc
tion, I switched of my train, turned my
ergine. nod stood ready to s'.urt back
tD 0 at a moment's indite.
'Aldiich'n presence was ol so much
importance, that the business could n
be triuisiclfd without V' n ; so all those
I h id brought out, except the pres'ulm
and Aldrxh, wdt tnik to V on
the tl.reo o'clock txprcss train. This
was the last regular train which was to
pass over tho road uutil tho next Mon
day. '
"F.arly in the evoninj I left tho ina
cl ius in charge of my fireman, and went
over to an eating-house, to sea if I
could not spend the time more pleas
antly than on my engine The hours
d a:gcd t'lemselics away slowly. I was
placing a game of dominoes with the
station agent, when in cacno Roberts,
tho president, in a state of great excite
ment. " 'Harry,' said ho to mv, 'I want you
to put mo down in C at twelve
o'clock I"
"As it was nearly cloven o'clock then
and the distance was seventy-five miles,
I thought ha was joking at first ; but
when we got outside tho door, he caught
me bo tho arm, and Imrrid me along
so fast that I saw ho was iu earnest.
" Harry,' said he, ',f you don't not
me down in C by twelve o'clock, I
am a ruined man, and this road is a
ruined road. AUIrich is dead ; but he
told me, before he dk'd, that he had
cr.bezzled from time to live, five hund
red thousand of our money ; and bis
clcik is to start with it, on tho twelve
o'clock boat, from C for Canada.
If we don't have that money on Monday
morning, to makp some payments with,
the road goes into other hands ; and if
yon put me down in C at tlio riht
time, so that I save the money, you
shall have five thousand dollars. Un
derstand it, Harry? Five thousand dol
lars I'
' Of course, I understood it. I Faw
now the reason why the wages had beeu
cut down ; I understood it all, and my
blood boiled, I felt that I would save
the road if I lived, and told II .be U
s.-.
See that you do it, Il.irry 1' he re
plied, us ha climbed up on the steps of
tho coach which was coupled to my en
gine. "1 sprang up into the loot-board, got
ua tho swiich-tender to help ray tir?-
man, opened the thrott'e, and just as
he commenced moving, looked at iny
watch it was j 1st eleven o'clock, so
that I h;.d ore hour to make my seventy-five
miles in.
From 1 to C there wcro
few curves on tho road ; but there were
several heavy grades. I was perfectly
acq -tainted with every rod of it ; so that
I knew exactly what 1 hid to encoun
ter ; and when I saw how tho engiiiu
move ), I felt very little fear for tho re
sult.
' The road, for the first miles, was an
airline, nod so smooth that my engine
flew along with scarcely a prcceptible
jar. I was so busy, postinj myell up,
as to the amount ot wood and water
nbourd, etc , that wo danced by tho firs',
station almost before I was aware of it,
having been five minutes out, and hav
ing live miles accomplished.
'1 ou are losing time I yelled a voice
from the coach. I looked around, and
there stood Roberts with his watch in
his hand. "I knew very well that we
would have to increaGO our fpeel by
sorae means, if we carried out our plans
of reaching C by nlJnight, and
looked anxiously around, to see what I
could do to accomplish that purpose.
She was blowing i ft' steam fiercely ot
one hundred and ten pounds; so I
turned down the valvo to two hundred,
for I knew wo shoull need it all to
make some of the heavy grades which
lay between us and C .
It was three mill's to the next sti-
tion. uh tho exception ot a lew
curves, tho cracu was r,s goon as too
last. As we darted around what com
monly S'jencd to be a rather long enrv,
at tho station, but which was, at our
high sprc.l, short emujjht, I looked at
my wauh ; and we had dono it in two
minnti'S nnd a hall..
" 'Gaining,' I shouted hack to 11 b-
crts, who was yet standing on the plat
form of the coach.
Look out for tin heavy rradco,' he
replied, and went inside the car.
Tbo rent six mile rose gradually
from a level the (list, ten and a half
feet gra !c the last, which lay bcUccn
us and the next station. My fireman
kept her lull ; and now she began to get
hot. The lurnico door was red, and
tho steam raised continually; at that
she kept her speed, and passhd the sta
tion, liko a streak of light, in fno min
utes.
Now came nine miles like tho last ;
over which she kept pace niih ber time,
and passed tho station in seven and a
half minutes.
"Here, for ten miles, we had n twen
ty foot grado to encounter; but the
worst of it all wjs, at this place we
would he obliged to stop for wood. I
was just going to speak to Roberts
about it, when I looked around, and
saw hi'ii filling the tender from tho
coach with wood which had been placed
there before starling, while be was gono
uftcr me.
"I believe we would have made this
ten miles with the same speed as be
fore; but, through (ho carelessness of
the fireman, tho fountain-valve, on the
left hand side of the engine, got opened,
and tho water roso in tho boiler so fast
as to run tho steam down to one bund-
re I pounds, before I discovered ahcic
the difficulty lay.
"At first, Roberts didn't appear to nr.
lice tho decrease of speed, aud keptut
woik at tho wood as if for dear life.
lt. presently, ho looked up j and, see
ing that the speed bad decreased, he
shouted: 'Harry, wo are stopping I'
nnd then coming over to where I wa,
he said, 'Why. here wo have been ton
luiuulvs on tho hit ten miles, aaij I be
WELDON, N. 0., THURSDAY, JUNE 12, 1870.
lieve wo will come to a dead stand if
s miething is not done. The speed is
continually dect easing I What is the mat
ter r'
"I explained the cause, lie was ap
parently satisfied with my explanation,
and, alter having tied down tho safety
valve, he climbed back over tho tender
exhorting mo to 'put her through, for
Clod's sake, or wo ore all begjars to
gether." "Just then wo passed tho next
station, having taken nine minutes for
eight miles. We were now nioro than
half over tho road ; but wq had lost
nearly ten minutes' time, nnj had left
only twenty-soven minutes to do thirty-
four miles in.
"I had shut the water off from my
pumps, a nuio distance back, when 1
discovered what was tho matter, and sho
was now making steam finely down a
slight grade. From less than one
hundred, with which we started over
that ten-mile strotcb, she had two hun
dred pouuds before we finished it jand.is
the gauge indica e 1 no higher than that,
and tho valvo was tied down, I could
not tell how much over two hundred
pounds bo carried, but sho certainly
carried none less the rest of the journey.
And well nrght she carry such nn enor
mous head of steam ; for, after passing
over that ten miles in eight minutes,
there lay too miles of five-feet up-grade,
and fourteen miles of twenty-foet-to-the-
mile depression between us and 0 ,
and it was now eleven o'clock and forty
seven minutes.
Now the engine was hot in earnest.
The furnace door, smoke arch, and
chimney, nil were red ; whilo tho
seemed to fly onward as if thfl very
Evil O.ie himself operated her machi
nery. "Six minutes carried us over lint ten
miles ; aod wo darted by tho last station
that had lain between us and C .
Now we had fourteen miles to go, nnd
my lime showed eleven o'clock aud
fifty-tlirco mh.utcs.
" 'If I live,' said I to myself, 'I will
make it, And we plunged down that
lwet:ty-font grado with a'l steam on.
I t is ins who saw the train on that wilo
run, said that it wns soon after they
heard the first sound of her approach,
when the strange obj ct. which looked
as if it was a flame of fire, darted by,
and then the sound of its traveling died
awny in the distance, that they could
hardly continco llumsulvus they had
really seen anything. It seemed more
like the creature of a wild dream than a
s ivi r reality.
"And now let mo tell you, that no
engine ever beat the lima we mada on
those fourteen tiiiles. Those great
wheels, seven feet in diameter, spun
around so swift that you couldn't begin
to count the revolutions. Tim cgine
barely seemed to touch the track as she
fl.!W along; and although iha track was
as true as it was possible, for it to be.
she swayed fearfully, and sometimes
niade'sucli prodigious jolts, that it re
quired considerable skill for one to keep
his fert. No engine could hold to
gdhcr if crowded to a greater 8 ejJ.
"Well, just os I camo to a sland-tili
in tho depot ot C tho big clock
boomed out twelve, and tho steamboat
was getting I: r r steam on. R iberts got
on board in time and nothing to spare."
"And he saved the money, did he?"
I asked, when I saw that my friend had
fiiiKh.-d his story.
' Yes; be found it hid away in some
old boxes as AUIrich had directed
him."
"If you are the passenger ford ,"
sai I a waiter, "the 'bos' is ready."
So I thanked my friend for his story
and bade bun "go "d-hje.
DSlulii CF
THE STAR
BANNER.
SPANGLED
. The bombardmciit of Raltimnre com
menet'd nt eight o'clock on tho morning
of September 13, 1811, and continued
twentv-four hours. Tho garrison at
Fort Mc Henry saw the fl ig of truco car
tied during tho bembardincct by tbo
small boat in which Francis Scott Key
isited the lhilish fleet to obtain, the re
lease of bis fiicr.d. l)r. Beanef, of
lYmre (leorge county, M l . ho had
bem made a prisoner ol war and was
on b;iard rr.c of the slvp", where bo was
detained until tho firing bad ceased.
On tho cessation of tho bombardment
Mr. Key was permitted to leave the
enemy's ships aud was rowed to the
fort, bearing with him tho song of the
"Star Spangled 15 inner," which he bad
composed during the watches of tho
night. Soon after bo landed the rough
draft of the versos, as ho had just writ
ten them down on the back of a letter
whilo coming ashore in tho rowboat,
were handed around aod some of the
narris in made copies of them. Judge
Nicholson, the captain of tho artillery
company, nnd Mr. Key had married sis
ters and the Judge secru to have been
tho first person to whom tho author
showed the verses. Tho same night at
his hotel in Riltimore Mr. Key wrote out
a fuir copy of tho verses as they now
stand, nn I the next day gave a copy to
Jur!e Nicholson, who had tho song pub
lished, nnd it was sung publicly for the
first time shortly afterwards in the Holi
day Street Theatre. Col. Cohen was
very distinct in his remembrance that
the song was copied by some of the
soldiers at the fort, and no doubt it was
ithown to Judge Nfthulsoo there. Ralti
aiorc Sun.
He that lalls into amis a mnn : that
gneves nt it may bo a saiut; tlut boas eth
ol it Is a iKvil.
JIM RIDLEY.
BY MAX ADIiLEU.
Ho took his scat beside mo in the
car, and in the course of conversation,
it came out that he was on his way from
Omaha to Now York, with the corpso of
a friend of his, the body being in a box,
in the bagnge car.
l erhnps you didn t know Jim
Ridley?" said tho stranger. "Ho is tho
remains in there among the trunks?"
"No; I wasn t aqnaintcd with him.
"He was a singular man. Wo wcro
old friends. Jim bad only ono eyo;
lost tho other when ho was a boy. And
ever since I know him he used to carry
around a flit Russia leather pocket
bonk full of glass eyes."
What for?"
Why he was a particular man, and
he had different kind of eyes for differ
ent occasions, rirst thing, when be got
out of bed, he'd mount his 'early morn
ing' eyes. It was oiado expressly for
him, and it bad a kind of drowsy look.
Along after breakfast, when ho felt
brighter, he'd slip that out, aud put in
his nine o'clock eye. Then, maybe, if
ho was going to call on a lady iu the
afternoon, hu'd slide in his sentimental
eye; it was full of tenderness and ex
pression. He had it cast for him by a
man in Ithaca, New York, and when he
bad it adjusted at tho proper focus, it
said 'I love 'you,' as plain as if it could
talk."
I should have liked to have secu
it."
"Yes, sir. That eye caused Jim an
awful amount of trouble. He was sued
for breach oT promiso thirteen times,
because various women came within
range of the Ithaca cyo. And then,
you know ho had a mounful eyo for
funerals, and a fiery eyo for fights, and
a soft bluo eye for tho family circle.
And Jim would occasionally get off
upon a spree, and di ink too much, and
look haggard nnd bad. Then ha would
put iu hii tdondshot eye, to match tho
other ono. He imported that dissipated
eye liorn J'resueo. as ati artinciai
i lus' ration of tbo fcarf il conseqiences of
the use of nrden spirits, it was wunh a
dozen tepcranco lectures."
"Did intemperance kill hiru?
1 Oh no I It is curious how be came
to his death. You know he moved on
to Nebraska, and settled in a town
there. Well, about a week after he
arrived, the sheriff scizod tho cemetery
and put it up for sale for a debt, and
Jim bid it in a trifle- It was a beautilul
site, and he concluded to build a house
oo it. Whilo they were uiggiug out the
celler, Jim discovered that something
or other in the soil bad purified every
body in the graves."
"lVtrifiod them."
"Turned them into solid stone I So,
Jim being a practical kind of man, and
building material being scarce, what
does he do but begin to lift out the
remains and to build up the walls of his
house with them. They wero tough as
granite, and when he had rudbed a chap
do. vn with saod, so as to square him up
and make hie edges even, Jim would
dub same nioter on bini and lay him in
tho wall. He worked four of the
Carter family into his baby-window;
the fouudation was composed principally
of Banmpards aod Littletons, nnd two
of the Hillcgrasses were used in collar
to show up the joints iu the floor."
"That was original anyhow,"
"Old Mrs. McS irley was chipped off
nnd set iu as a kind of stringer on the
Northeast corner ; and Jim bad the
handsomest door-step I ever saw. It
w is n light pink, and be made it by
dressing down nn old settler, named
Rings, with a chisel. The chimney on
the Cit gable was worth looking at,
too. He bored a hole through William
0. Skinner from the head right down,
and ran the flue up nod out at tho top
into a kind of a sheet iron bat.
"You didn't mention, though, the
cause of bis death."
"Well, 'Ot eco, people were very
much excited by Jim's conduct in utihz
ing their relations, and everybody feared
thert'd bo trouble. Rut things went
along quietly enough until one day Jim
set out the Into Fiesidcnt of the 1$ ard
of Public Education on the pavement
in front of bis bouse, for a bitching pns'
Jim put an iroi ri;;g :a hint aad got the
mason to cut him down some, for he
wa rather a stout man, and Jun had
suit of clothes paioteJ on him. So tho
next day the president's son, Joo Pin
yard, called nnd said bo vnntcd bis
parent removed and treated right; and
Jim refused, nnd so they went from one
thing to another, until l'inyard out with
a pistol and shot Jim dead. So now his
bouse is for sale and I'm fctchiig his
body along home to bis family."
Just then the tram stopped, and as
the stranger stepped ont for refresh
meuts. I went iuto another car to think
about Jim. lie was a remarkable man
that is certain.
COMICALITIES.
Ths favorite nniform of the Zulu
war
rior is a belt and a cartridge box.
The Canadian rower is bigger than
British lion's. Chicago Tribune.
the
Boytnn has challenged Dr. Carver to
shoot tho St. Lawrence Kapids with
hint.
It is when a fchsol girl first puts an
to the word lay that the spell begins
work. -Cincinnati Saturday Might.
to
Barnum hsa tent off for a couple ol
Zulus with which to start a r.nlulngical
garden, probibly. Galvi'stou Nnwe.
NO. 15.
A STRANGE TRADITION.
Among the Seminole Indians there ia
a singular tradition regarding the white
man's origin and superiority. They S3y
that when the great spirit made earth,
he also made three men, all f 'whom
were fair complexioned, and after mak
ing them he led them to the margin of
a small lake aod bade them leap in nnd
wash. One obeyed and came out purer
and fairer than before; the second
hesitated a moment, during which time,
the water agitated by the first had be
come muddied, and when he bathed ho
came up copper colored ; tho third did
not leap until tho wator became black
with mud, aud he came out dark in
color. Thou tho Great Spirit laid
before them three packages, and out of
pity for his misfortune in color gave tho
black man the first choice. He took
hold of each of the three packages ; and
having felt tho weight, chose the
heaviest ; the copper-colored man chose
the next hcai sr, leaving the white
man the lightest. When tho packages
wero opened, the first was found to con
tain spades, hoes and all the imple
ments of lulnr ; the second enwrapped
hunting, fidiing and warlike apparatus ;
the third gave tho whiteman pens, Ink
and paper, tho engine of tho niiod, the
menns of mutual mental improvement,
the foundation of the whito man's
superiority.
A COOlTjOKE-
SISTftns AND A MOTUBn IS LAW PRF.VKNT
INfl A MrsUNDKKSTANBINQ BETWEEN A
MAntuicB courut, and Titn result.
The Alltntown (Pa) Chronicle says:
A joke is told on a certain eent'eman,
which is too good to be lost. Our friend,
who shall be nameless, purchased a pair
rl pints a few days g, which, upon
being tried on at home, were fond to be
too Ion?. That nicht he remarked to his
wile that he wished her. to take off an
inch from each leg, which would make
them the desired length. Being found, as
Hood mauy wives are of tcasinu her
husband, sho told him "flit-footed" that
she shouldn't do anything of the kind.
and he retired tiaally without haying
obtained a promise from her that she
would attend to tho matter. Soon after
ha had left lor his room, howtver, ehe,
matter ol course, clipped IT ths super
fluous inch as ?hu had bees asked to dn.
The family is composed of six fem li
miMubcM, in addition to the "good mar,'
and it chanced that each ono of tha five.
who wore iu adjoining rooms, including
the mother of our friend, heard tho dis
pute betwsen man and wile about
pants, and a! er tbe Utter had taken
the rtq'i'red inch and rttlrcd, the
Udy, desiring to "ksep peacs in
tbe
out
Id
tba
ber
Kinily, and not kujwina what
daughter lu-law bad done, cautiously
slipped int the roam an4 cut off acsther
inch, in tun way did eacn at toe urn
ladies, ill unknown to tho other, and all
with the pruiseworthy object of prevents
ing any ruinundurstnndinir between the
married couple, clip an Jocb from the legs
of the gentleman's trowser.
tub Following mokninq,
all unconscious of what had taken place
during the ni"ht, rolled up bis punts in a
piece of paper and took them to tha
tailor to bo shortened to the desired
length. Ur.m a hasty clance the latter
ventured the epinian that they were
already rather al ort, ut the owner was
too well posted on that score, and insisted
that they were lully an inch too long.
The tailor hid nn more to sav. and our
friend retired. On the following Satnr
day he called for the pants and took tbem
home, and the next morninr, when he
came to put himsell inside ol them, be
was supremely disgusted at Hading that
tho lens roschel only a trifle below thr
kneo. In other wnrJs, they bad been
altered to the fashion of a ccatury ago.
when knee-hrcechei wera in vogue, lie
straightway accused the tullor at baying
ruined his pans. snd bis mdinnation was
expressed in Unntngo anvthmg but mild.
LI is wile heard linn and came ta tue
rescue of the Kulizht of the Shesrs. ex
plaining that the had taken an inch from
each of the legs, and ber acknowledge
went was followed by that af each ef the
other five ladies, when it was discovered
that altogether tho legs hud actually
been shortened to the extent of seven
inches.
THS CRUSHED 8ZREKADEB.
(San Francisco News Letter.)
Youne Bilkins went to aercnado his
girl on Van Nrsa avenue. Tha amateur
orchehtia, of which ho is a member, had
hardly aqnealed aut tba two bars ol
I'mw Whce My Lava Lies ureauiinii.
when the second stnry window went up
and old Bog!, Amelia's father, stuck his
head out and remarked:
It there no way ot compromising
this thinuj''
"What w what!" cp Biikins.
"I say, can't we inako soma arrange
ment to get out of this matter. How
does (I snd an oil gas atovs atriko
jout"
"Why this tins is a serenade," ex
claimed Bi:kins."
"Exactly: so I sea. Now, suppoio I
were to stand tha beer aod car lara all
around, wouldn't you go out in the
suburbs samtwhero work oil Iha rest of it
in Iront ol tome deaf and dumb asylum
or other 1"
"Well. I'm blowed?" ejaculated the
crushed lover.
"I should think you would be, hitched
lo ths ond of ilut big trombone. Don't
ooint it thin way. for h:arcn'i sake; it
uii'.'fct ca oft."
"C'rno down bers and siy that, like a
mnn," ronred tha big drum, who wss full
of l!u iwe'iKrr anil fury. "You baldheaded
old p'lican, conic down.'1
"I I think we had better better go,
at it were, bora," murmured the morti
fied Biikins, snd tha disgusted band
walkol sadly off, scornfully ignoring
Bgi! a parting injunction to reform and
leal better lives, alter tho thing blew oyer.
K weak minn is like a micrtreopt,
I" ' H " 'I
uot nccivo great ones.
w iph inBitnihi'a lr:lhnir IhinfTt Hut -.t
a a la
s I
O I H I
S 00 8 Ot) 14 Ot
a CO JO 00 SO 00
8 JOO 15 00 SO CO
10 00 18 00 84 00
IS 00 20 00 40 00
20 00 80 00 60 09
SPACE
I O
20
89 00
40
48 e
60
66 00
74
On Square,
Two Square,
Threo Nqoares,
i-uur nuuarov.
Fourth Uol'n.
Half Column.
Whole Column,
One Year,
JOANOKK AQRICULTUR
WORKS,
WELDON. N. 'C.i
JOHX 81. FOOTE, Proprietor,
TflK
KICII4BDSON COTTOH FLOW
A SPECIALTY.
MANUFACTURER OF, ARB) VBRIRAL Adllff
roR,
A.LL KINDS OP FARMING IM
PLEMENTS,
STEAM ENGINES AND COTTON
fJINS.
Also Agaat for ths Chicago Seal Ooaaw
1J'
UNITED STATES STAKBARO
SCALES.
Everything In this line from 108 TOX
Railroad Scale to the SMALLEST TEA
Seal furnished at Surpriainir LOW Fif
unw. A Platform UAY wr STOCK Boat
ol' FOUR TONS capacity for 0.tt) aad
All kind of
IRON AND BRASS CASTINGS
PitrnUbed at SJTORT IfOTTCB ao4 at
Potoiaburg or Norfolk PRICKS.
I am prepared to do A ICY KIXD
Ropair Work for
ENGINES, MILLS AND COTTON
GINS,
A I hava an Exool'.en! MACHINIST muS
BOILKU MAKER,
jf'1.3
JJf
I keop'nonstantly on hand of air away
ManuttMrtura a UOOD Or KICK ,
COAL AND WOOD STOVE.
Alan a good asaortmant of HOLLOW
WAR &
LUMBER furnUI.H In any quantity -a
.tba LOW KIT Market Rale,
ep8 lb
r
VIIUI1UB, jail 1 1 V