must ham: them.
THE ROANOKE NEWS, THURSDAY, AUGUST 17, 1893
f I L
THOUGH I.AI.V COMN CAMPBELL SAYS
KISSING IXJI ItFS THE COMPLEXION.
The Boston girl arises,
Transcendeuiully sedate,
And taking off her glasses,
Says: "I guess I'll osculate."
The couune il 1'aut New Yorker,
With a radiotit high bred sirile
And blush say : ' My complexion's
Got to stand it for a while."
The Philadelphia maiden,
With a Quaker quibbling coo
I'repares her lips to pueker
In the quiet drab, "Uo, oo."
The regal Baltituorean
Stoops to conquer with her wit:
"J ust look at my complexion
It isn't spoiled u bit."
The Washingtonian damsel,
The dear cosmopolite,
With a blush, remarks : "The lady
Isn't altogether right."
The Richmond girl, in whispers
Like some dreamy music, low,
States firmly : " Jly complexion
Isn't everything, you know."
The bright Atlanta maiden,
With a pretty, harmless flirt,
Is sure that her complexion
Isn't quite so cas'ly hurt.
The famed Kentucky beauty,
In a voice as soft and clear
As the blue grass skys are, murmurs:
"It's 'my' complexion, dear."
The young Chicago woman,
Twitters in her fond delight:
"I want a good complexion,
But the price is out of sight."
The coy St. Louis maiden,
Who's as cute as she is fair,
Announces:' "My complexion
Isn't in it. See? So there!"
The Denver dear delightful
Inquires: "Where am at?
You can bet that Lady Colin
Is conversing through her hat."
The sweet Weldon angel
Says that she would like to gay,
She loves a nice complexion
If it isn't built that way.
And thus in every city
Who shall say it isn't so?
Complexions arc not in it
If the kisses have to go,
AX INTRODUCTION'.
He was a bashful man, was Trotter
He loved Miss Budd so ardently that he
was atraid to tell her so, lest his dream
be resolved to ashes and smoke, and vet
he was certain that at the critical moment
she would say "yes." So it went on, and
Trotter kept adding to his stock of cour
age until he had accumulated almost
enough to brave the inevitable.
About that time Trotter escorted his
lady love to a public reception given in
honor of one of the royalties who came
to America to visit the World's Fair.
They were ushered into the crowded
room, and awaited their presentation.
Finally the time came, and Trotter whis
pered to the man who did the announcing
"Miss Budd and Mr. Trotter."
But the first last of the whisper
lost in the noise, and, to the horror
Trotter, he and Miss Budd were present
ed as Mr. and Mrs. Trotter. For a mo
ment he was overcome; then his stock of
courage asserted itself, and forgetting all
about the personage before whom lie
wood, he turned to his fair companion
and "Doesu't that go?" he asked. '
They never noticed royalty. They
were hurried on in the crowd. But Trotter
didn't care, for he heard beside him a
gentle voice say "yes."
was
of
8ee the World'i Fair for Fifteen. Cents.
Upon receipt of your address and fifteen
tent in postage stamps wo will mail you
prepaid our Souvenir Portfolio of the
World'i Columbian Exposition, the reg
lar price is fifty cents, but as want you
to have one, we make the price nominal.
You will find it a work of art and thing
to be pried. It contains full page views
of the great buildings, with descriptions
of same, and is executed in highest styles
of art. If not satisfied with it, after you
get it, we will refund the stamps and let
you keep the book. Address H. E. Buck
lea & Co., Chicago, III.
If you feel weak
and all worn out take
BROWN'S IRON BITTERS
THE
ROANOKE
NEWS,
Gives the news of the town, county,
State and country. In short com
pass, it seeks to give a synopsis
of the news of the week in an ac
ceptable and
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ROANOKE NEWS,
WELiDoisr, it. o.
PUT GEESE TO ROOST,
THE AMUSING EXPERIENCE OP AN J
A T l I 1 1.1 a r,...
"Don't talk of agriculture to a farm,,
was T)iinil VV..K-. . . n
Discus., any other wbject with kin,.J
mtraiurc, political economy, finance,
never farming; for if vou nn t.
forth on that he will find vou at ft,
some particular and conclude that ;J
ant in ono thing you are ignorant in
This advice was recalled by a getl?
man of this city recently upon hearing
the experiences of an amateur farmer
friend of his, who, after a long andaott '
career, in which ho had achieved fJ
and fortune, relinquished an external
practice ot law for bucolic over an esti
not a hundred miles from New York. I
bhortly after he assumed the man J
ment of his farm the lawyer, receive
visit from one of his neighbors, a shrew
old laroier who had never been a huf
dred miles away from hishoiue. Variol
matters were discussed, as toether tU
walked about the farmyard inspcctinetl
new windmill, inproved water trough
cattle sheds and other "new fanned fist
Naturally the amateur hAtmmJ J
jw
gross ignorance to his more practical J
experienced companion. The latter mf
something of a wit at lat. in visiting ill
poultry yard, ventured a suggestiof
"1ms is all very fine," ho said; as
glanced about, "but where do your duct
and geese roost at night?"
"I never thought of that," replied tU
amateur. 1 ve seen them 'snuattins'
round at night and thought they likj
tnat. 1 il have it attended to at onei
Low roosts I suppose would be the best:
The farmer thought they would. ''PM
them about two feet from the nrnnnH
.... e.v.u4
he remarked, and then, smilinir in hi
. . . . . ' i
sleeves, unhitched his old mare and drot
away home. '
Not a moment was lost bv the forme1
.
aew lorker. He erected bis due
roosts, and at nightfall visited his poultrj
yard to observe how the fowls enjoje
the innnvnlinn Tn ; U.: .w..
Av Mio ,UH1IU IUUJ1
appeared to ignore the roosting place aci
were squatting as before on the eround.
I
"1 oor things, I ve neglected them loi
long," thought the human amatetii!
"They don't realize the change." Will!
that he began to crab at duekaand dralrf
and geese and ganders and deposit then?
one by one on the roosts. There was
.. .
terrible commotion among the fowls;
which attracted all the farm hands witH
shotguns to the poultry vara. Wheri
they arrived there they saw their emplo?
er, perspiring red in the face, trvim: ti
balance the web footed creatures on tH
roosts, from which fell with terriM
"quack, quacks," the moment his bach
was turned. It was not lon hefnro tl
truth dawned upon him that ducks autt
geese were intended by nature to "squat,
not to roost.
He returned to his house deeply asham t
..... -
ed ot his ignorance and speedily became
the laughing stock of the country round. I
The illustration of Webster's advice
came in the from of an entire disregard
thereafter of any opinions expressed bj j
the man. In New York his utterance)
had been regarded as words of wifdoa
upon no matter what subject addressed,.
but in the country they were greeted
with: "Oh, pshaw, ho don't know nothing.' -
He puts geese to roost,"X. Y. Herald. t
BUSINESS APHORISMS.
They always tulk who never think. ,! -Mark
your natural tendencies and ap- I
ply them. ,
A husband at home is worth two in I ?
i
saloon,
Have a smile for all, a pleasant woid '
for everybody.
To succeed work hard, earnestly and
incessantly.
A laugB is worth a hundied groans i
any market.
Difficulties strengthen the mind ai
labor does the body.
Study people for the knowledge they
can impart to you.
There are many echoes in the world,
and but few voices. '
An investment in knowledge alwayu
py the best interest.
1 he luxury of doing good surpasael
every other enjoyment.
Strive to obtain every kernel of knowl-jf
use wunin v our rh I
. TOn DTIPKPOTA,
"1I,'!JV??!i,I.d4 Hwflwi. Uk
iWhiJ lt.il prbol. GttmlMk