Newspapers / Roanoke News (Weldon, N.C.) / Sept. 28, 1893, edition 1 / Page 1
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)L. XXIV. WELDON, N. C, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 28. 1893. NO 26 )NE ON SAM JONES. HE WAS SUPPLIED WITU BUTTER . MILK IN DALLAS. good A MONSTROSITY. AS GREAT A WONDEft AS THE SIAMESE TWINS BORN IN ATLANTA. HOW HE MADE GOVERNMENT CLEUK8 PAY THEIR BOARD BILLS. 1 v AlAJLy Dallas, Teias, News tells i Rev. Sam Jones, ther Jones is very fond of butter Mid in conversation with a repor e other night jocularly remarked re could drink more buttermilk than dy io town. 1 And no one,' said he, i send me any thing that I would date More than fresh buttermilk.' e News published llev. Sam's re ik, but it socined that the brethren iJVidters failed to see the joke and took sriously. The next morning brother Jooe-i had lOt been out of bed teu minutes before here was a knock at his door and the jell boy handed him a tin bucket full of resh milk, sent by a sister who had a ine Jersey oow, He accepted it and Aimed the bucket up to his pareded lips and took a long swig, fust then another knock souuded on the loor and the bell boy had a pitcher of luttermilk sent by a lady who had a Solstein eow. "Humph," said brother Jones, "I ton't suffer for buttermilk on my last day Dallas." He resumed reading and in a few ttioutet a knock oauie again, and this Bite the bell boy had two half gallons of lUtterinilk sent by two different sisters ltd brother Jones commence 1 to smile Then be went down to pick a chick a bone and drink a cup of coffee. Vhea he hasteued back to his room. '.$nl be arrived at his door there were ) leu then three men and two boys, id eoeh had buttermilk for him, and i jlVe he could gut his dour locked two tore bretbrem cuuiu, briogiug butter ii!k. . J., jttter Joues commence:! to grow !.audwas beginning to wonder v ; y sister in town had churned the t.fore. lie lighted his cob pipe W started to read the moraiog paper hen the bell boy iu formed him that tere were two ladies io the parlor who aaletl to see him. He went down and tilts horror each lad y had a pitcher of iiuXMiilk for him, and they commenced jsing ihe praises of their cows. Drother Jones was beginning to look Iggard and distressed, and when the bvll tv brwuiiht up the card of a caller he . jputaj, "Go back and tell the gentle- an that it ts impossible ior me to see lyone, and that I've got milk enough to t a Trinity river steamboat." J4sj. Sam then picked up the News & road his talk with the reporter about ttermilk. "That's what's the matter," said, throwing the paper to the floor. 'bat long legged, gandernecked, slab ed little fool of a reporter put that in i paper', and here they are sending me oah milk to drown one in." Then another knock at the door was iwered, aud a darkey entered with t Hon pickle bottle full of fresh butter Ik. : "Take that stuff back and tell them t,, am sick of buttermilk." Then be made a bee-Line for the ?ator, and barely escadod three more ten with pails of milk. mait lime brother Jones works off :e fn Dallas he will see chat it is ao- urinated by a diagram, and will end, Io butiermilk wanted." Atlanta Constitution. A human monstrosity that will create a sensation in the medical world as an anatomical wonder was born in Atlanta day before yesterday and died immediately after its birth. It was a child with but one chest but two p lir of perfectly developed legs and two pair of arms, and had it lived it would have taken rank among such anatomical specimens as Chang and Eng, the famous Siamese twins and Millie Christine. As it is, the child will be preserved in alcohol and will be considered one of the greatest human curiosities known to the medical profession. Yesterday, no less than fifty prominent physicians of the city viewed and examined the child and pronounced it a veritable wonder. The monstrosity is at Dr. Curtis's drug store on the corner of Broad and Mitchell streets, and that place was the center of interested groups of physicians throughout the day yesterday. 1 be child is the offspring or negro parents, its mother being lizzie Grant, of No. 27 Battle street. The father is a day laborer. It weighs fifteen pounds, and is of normal sizj. The head is large and well formed and is covered with hair. The features of the face are perfectly developed, as are the bust and arms. The anus arc especially well developed and are of good size. Below the ribs two bodies bejjin and are finely developed Oue is the body of male. Two arms are in the normal place and two grow out from between the rits and hips. The lour legs are even larger than normal size and jirow out from the hips. One of the strangest things about this strange piece of hunauity is the arrange uieut of the digestive organs. These or gans are located outside the abdominal cavity, as arc the heart and liver. The lungs are in their proper place in the chest. There is but one spinal column The child died immediately after birth and Dr. Curtis, who was present, took it to his place of business and placed it in a glass jar filled with alcohol. He placed it in charge of Dr. E. L Griffin, a youn graduate, who invited scores of physicians to look at it. CONTENTMENT DWELLS. Webster's Weekly says that a properly conducted farm, on which the necessaries of life are grown, is a little independent republic in itself. Conspirators may plan to raise the price of bread and meat, but the man with his crib and his srnokohouse in his yard can defy them. Tightness of the money market does not affect him much, for he has little use for money. One of our subscribers who has persued this course for years recently defended his views against the ridicule of some of his brethren and showed them the inconsisten cy of putting the hand io the lion's mouth and then complaining because it bites. While others have been paying tribute to the gamblers of Chicago, this sensible man has been eating bread and meat rais ed on his own farm. render couutv I shall lie aue d Mon loor nt of land covin lusgow, ml the ittman, t hung rier of appears 1 vea tr y dttd id reg- . A colon v of Japanese are to settle oo rich agricultural lands in the South jJS' Mexico. 1 1 wondrous advantage to a man r - iml or vocation, to seonre an I, i sensible woman. 3 there is at once suitable ct and a plain soundness of oh are rarely combined to an ) in man.- ' r .' J rule, it is best not to cor- I by the use of saline or at When a purgative Mt prompt, effective, and " yer's Pills. Their teoden ), and not weaken, the of the bowels. Washington Post. "I tell you what it is," said an irate boarding house keeper the other day. Boarding department clerks is not what used to be. I was not in the business when Jackson was President, but I knew an old lady who was, and she said that while "Old Hickory" was in the White House there was no such thing as a de partment clerk getting much behind in his board bill. "My old friend had a number of clerks boarding in her house, and some of them were satisfactory iu every way except in paying for what they got. She tried dunning them in every reasonable way, but they had skins as thick as a ihinoce- rous and consciences as impressionless as an asphalt pavement. She finally got tired of being systemat ically robbed, and, having known the President before his election, he bein an ex boarder of bers, by the way, sh went to him with her complaint. He heard the story, and told her to get the worst of the boarders to give her his note for the amount due. This she readily did, the men fondly imagining there was no easier or more inexpensive way of set tling with her. But when she had got ten the note she carried it up to the White House and coolly indorsing it on the back. You may guets when his landlady carried that note back, the young man started to bustle lor tne wherewithal to meet it, us it was not likely that he would let it go to rrotest with the presidents signature on the back of it. When the story got out, and the rest of the clerk saw what an interest the Chief Executive was taking iu their board bills, there was a general revolution in their methods of meeting such obligations. A FEW KIDDLES SOLVED Feet have they, but they walk not-stoves. Eyes have they, but they see not po tatoes. Teeth have they, but they chew not saws. Noses have they, but tbey smell not teapots. Mouths have they, but they taste not clocks. Ears have they, but they hear not corn stalks. Tongues have they, but they talk not wagons. Good Housekeeping. It'yi'i wui a reliable ay : that color ao evo brwa or blaolc and please ao 1 satisfy you etfery ti'ue, Buckingham' Dye for the Whiskers, PRESIDENT JACKSON. THEY MET. WHAT HAPPENED ON TUE YAM FARM THIS MORNING AT AND BEFORE EAR LY DAWN. Durham Globe. The Old Man was trying to sleep a part of last night away he wanted to lie down to pleasant dreams. He wanted to dream that no one called to "lick" him, and that all who are in arrears called and whacked up he wanted the sweet slum ber to restore him, to dish him up in good shape, as we would say in tho kitch en. But alack and alas! And a boy I The Devil and Tom Walker. He didn't sleep much. Just as he got a good hold on the sweet restorer, a delegation of mosquitoes held a mass meeting about nis ear. Are tney nuimnersf Weil, we should buzz! They met. And the meet- was full. The discussion seemed to be on the silver question. We take it that it was on that, judged by the way aud length of time congressmen discuss it. They resolved and they resolved. They said the stringency of the times caused them to present their bills as often as possible and tho good Lord knows they did throughout the meeting. It was finally resolved to put us on a parity with everything else which they could cat. It wasn't sixteen to one and we happened to be the one. Anyhow, after dragging us out on the Yam Farm, and leaving us with the si lent stars, they adjourned. It may be that they tackled the Old Lady, as we have not seen her for several days. Maybe they chewed her up into mince meat, as our esteemed triend, bimon Largec, used to say when he was playing Uncle Tom's Cabin. It is truth all this and Truth, like corn likker, is terrible. A SNAKE STOKY. Loaksville Gazette. Reliable gentleman narrates an incident which very recently occured under his own observation, which forcibly illustrat es the reasoning faculties of reptiles. 1 few days ago our informant was ridin along a public highway when he saw a frog hastily crossing the road in front of his buggy. In a momenta huge black snake appeared iu hot pursuit, gaining so rapidly upou the fleeing frog that his doom was settled. Suddenly the frog seizod with his mouth a broken twig about the site and length of a lead pencil, and hold ing it firmly between his jaws deliberately turned round and faood the snake. The hungry serpeut came up at a full sail, but when he saw that his mouth could not stretch across the stick, and therefore the frog could not be swallowed, his disap pointment was apparent, and with an ob vious expression of chagrin, he glided away io another direction. The frog held on to the stick for some time afterward, but was evidently conscious of the faot that he h played a Bhrewd trick upon his adversary, and seemod to enjoy the snake s discom fiture. The woman who works, aod is tired will find a special help in Dr. Pierce' Favorite Prescription. Perfectly rami loss in any condition of the female sys tem. It promotes all the natural func tions, and builds up, stiengthens, regu lates, aud cures. For women approach ins confinement, nursing mothers, and every weak, run down, delicate woman, is an invigorating, supporting tonic that' peculiarly adapted to their needs. But it's more-than that too. It's the only guaranteed remedy for all the func tional disturbances, painful disorders, am chronic weaknesses of womanhood "female complaints" of every kind, periodical pains, bearing down sensations internal inflammation, and kindred ail merits, it it ever rails to benent or oure you bsve your money back . . .. . . . A tierj ul MaduoL, Wis , -ays he nw a bulldog with three eyes, one io center of the head, TRUMPET CALLS. RAM'S HORN SOUNDS A WARNING NOTE TO THE UNREDEEMED. NEW ADVERTISEMENTS. A VEKY BUSY MAN. The devil was tho first counterfeiter. Fortune smiles on the man who hopes. Riding a hobby is sometimes very rest ful. It never hurts the value of gold to call it brass. When the wicked are honored the devil is promoted. Mark this: When you worry you have ceased to trust. God's children all have a light when He sends the night. Sin is tho surest detective any man ever had on his truck. The corner stone of a lawyer's house is u fool's bead. It is not often that the devil makes a mistake in his bait. All eggs will count as such, but only the good ones will act. Nothing can make us richer that du -not make us thankful. The right cross for you is the one yi' don't waut to take up. Every trouble that comes to a Chris tian makes his Bible bigger. If your scales and measures are wrong your heart is not right. The moment a man wills to be good God will begin to tell him how. The man who would be a leader must always be the first to start. The more a mother loves the more she can see in her child to love. People who can talk about themselves to the satisfaction of others are very scarce. remarked How's Your Liver? Is the Oriental salutation, knowing that good health cannot exist without a healthy Liver. Whentha Liver is torpid the Bow els are sluggish and con stipated, the food lies in the 6tomach undi gested, poisoning tha blood; frequent headacha , ensues; a feeling of lassi tude, despondency and nervousness indicate how tho whole system is de ranged. Simmons Liver Regulator has been tha means of restoring mora Eeople to health and ( appiness by giving them a healthy Liver than any agency "known on earth. ' It acts with extraor dinary power and efficacy. Rev. R. G. Wildkh, Princeton, N. J.,r: "I find nothing hclpn to much to kp is in working condition Simmons Liver Keftaucr. See that you get the Genuine, with red J2 on knt -raPPr- riWFARBD ONLY BY J, H. ZEILIN Si CO., I'biUulelebU, Fa. "Speaking of busy men, the drummer incidentally, "I ran across one in Chicago not long since who takes the rag right off the bush, ne is one of Chicago's liveliest types, and is making big money every year. I had some business the other day with him, and after wailing my turn to sue him. I wcut in and found him hard at work at his desk, looking over and signing papers, dictating to two or thrue stenographers at once, and talk between breaths. I think I was there just five minutes, and as we talked he had a call to give some change to one of the clerks, and he dropped a dollar on the floor under the desk. He made no effort to pick it up, but kept on talking and writing. You dropped a dollar there," I said, nodding toward the bill. ' 'I know it,' he replied, 'but I haven't time to crawl under there after it. It would take at least a minute to do that, and I in making right now $10 a minute doing something else, and I can't afford to stop for only 1. So long. Come in again when I'm not so rushed,' and with this mild hint that my iuterviow was over I backed out and let another man take my place." ''Wasn't he losing money, talking to you?1' inquired a doubting Thomus, who had been listening. "Losing nothing," retorted the drum mer "I had made a proposition to him on a little deal that before noon next Jay had netted him $."00. You bet 1 wasn't losing anything talkiug to me," and the drummer looked hurt to be t Inn questioned as to his veracity. "Any letters fur me?" "Who's you?" "I'm Bill Jones's son." "And your name's Jones?" "Ain't he my daddy?" "What's yor Christian name?" "Hain't never jined the church!" Tha people quickly recognize merit aid this is the reason the sales of Hood's Sarsaparilli aro coutinually increasing. Trv it. It will not take much dust on your Bible to drive God clear out of your heart. Take the conceit cut of some men ar,d there wouldn't be enough left to stand up. If God is now giving us the bitter we may be sure that He is preparing the sweet. If talk were walk, what great multi tudes would be headed straight for Heav en. Had Paul asked for grace to patiently endure his thorn one prayer would have been enough. ine man who expects to bid Ins sins goodby one at a time will never get them all behind him. The man who says the world owes him a living, always has an up-hill time in collecting the debt. Yonr good deeds will weigh nothing with God when you begin to take the credit of them yourself. Some preachers try so hard to feed a few worldly giraffes, that they almost starve the Lord's sheep. There isn't very much light in the life of a man who keeps bis church letter io the bottom of his tiunk. A gruut many people have the name of beiDg back sliders who have never had anything to backslide from. That man oan rub God and make something by doing it, is the biggest lie that was ever turned loose on earth. The devil never gets anybody to follow him notil he has managed somehow or other to cover up his cloven hoof. Wrleuever the devil asks a man to take a step away from God, he first tries to convinc- him that ho is doing it with a good motive. TO THE LADIES OF WESTERN HALF OF HALIFAX CO- I know Dr. J. A. JoGill's ORANGE BLOSSOM ,0 ke 8 verv Sreat Messing to -our sex. We have long needed some- -thing which wc could use ourselves and which could conquer the stubborn forms of chronic inflammation and congestion which lie at the foundation of all female troubles. That Dr. JcGill's treatment meets the demand of this long felt want -is shown by the fact that many cases which have baffled the skill of our best, physicians, are being cured by it. I have pledged myself to let my suffering sisters in the above Counties kuow of this simple, entirely safe, yet wonderful cure. To accomplish this I must have the help of some good Christian lady in each township. There are not less than one thousand ladim iu each of the uhove Counties to whom this cure would be of inestimable value, many of them mothers who need strength that , they may train their little ones; then there are so many voting girls whose trouble is not considered serious, but nevertheless need attention, as only a little time will be required for it take the color from the checks and all the joy from their glad young lives as it has done in thousands of cases. Write for information. I answer all questions. I will also send Township's Agent's Terms to those who will assist me. MISS I.l.ZIE It. DAVIS, Areola, Warren Co., N. C. 4-120 1y tho There is enough iron in the blood of 48 men to make a 24 pouud plowshare. BSff-THETAl K OF jar THE TOWN b m now is -m Have YOU Seen The pretty goods at J M tfVVft i Ayinr'e Sarsaparilla does what no other blood medicine in existence can do. It searches out all the iuipurid-s in the system aod expels them harmlessly through 'he prnt-i-r rliannels. This is why Ayer's 6arsapurula is so pre emi nently effective as a remedy fur rheums Usui. , Dress Goods of all Kinds; And trimmings to match. EVERYBODY says they are the prettiest in town. A nobby line of Gents' Furnishings A lurg. line of sample gooda to le sold at NEW YORK WHOLESALE PRICES, and if you can't get a suit of clothes in stock you can select a pattern and the fit is guaranteed; it takes only five days to make a suit. IT A rpQ. A big line of the Jl1xjl.JLO Newest styles straw and felt hats just opened. 1 am always glad to show (;ocds, and" prices shall compete with the lowest thai good goods rnn be sold at. Respectfully, W. B. TILLER Y, Weldoo, N. C. 9 2tt if.
Roanoke News (Weldon, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Sept. 28, 1893, edition 1
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