0
r I
Bataljlhhed ia 1876.
HILLSBORO, N, C, SATUKDAY. AUGUST 7, 1886.
NEW SERIES-VOL VI 1. NO. 43.
?
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t
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t
forward.
Push on, brave he-art, nor yet despair,
Though dark and dreary seem the v ay.
Thy sun will shiny from skies as fair
A.s :' r grazed the coming day.
And ever k'-p In-fore thiny eyes r
Th" h'-roes of the mighty past;
Think how they struggll t the pri.
And t!i')U shdf. surely win at hist.
I'u.di on, ai soul t brave swirnm'-rs do,
v-r storm iyy-l waves of life,
Strike out agni;f.,t th'; undertow,
And route o(T;i tor in 1h strife.
I'u. !i .t), and avjirVa lasting namo
TJi- nations of. the earth among,
Nor fiKij to ijse.a.s -t-p , to famo
Thy ft 11 ov-rnen .who round you throng.
I'uih on, and wV-n ti ou gain'st the day,
lLern,mdCT tlrs brave words of mine;
In-ir up Ix-ii'-ath ea-h darken? 1 ray,
Thy Mm is waiting but to shino
"With tenfold U'i'V from atove.
That hour is lark"st next tho (Lawn,
Success is ' rtninv Do not fear.
lint. l.-t. Hi - wat-hward ) I'ush on.
Jnrf; ( lit 111 1 a i' in Ih lrolt. Fur J'n's.t.
THE SQUIRM APPLES.
"Such pretty .apples!" cried Linnet
Dessoir, ecstatically. ; "With red ( h k,
just as if a fairy pencil had painted th m,
and delirious, bloomy streaks here and
th n 1 1 shotjh.1 like to copy 'them on a
plaque- or a panel or something, if only
mi'1 rmild he sure of reprodueinf those
d' licit- tints of rose and white!'1
"W. !, I declare.:" s.iid Ttose -Jlel ron,
the country cousin, whom she was visit
ing, lauding with a merry, thrush-like
J. null, .-is tin- two girls sat on a i.aoss
111 mi' l. il boulder under the bomdis of
the Ja I y-applc -tree, with here and there
a yllow leaf fluttering dreamly down at
their fe . ''Who would dream of such
a j ' ti( al d s ription applying to th-; ap
ples that grow in Squire ' Sand ford's or
chard ."
" 1; n"t it good of him to allow us to
gather tie in.'"' said Linnet, trimming the
hid'- T' ill' ts otl a lovely Lranrh ofyfilow
goli e ; m .
1 Mia
, I ... a 1 ,,.1 1 . 4 1 ..1 .
not helh v
" in vi: in. 11 (in an- ao-
tr.li.!..!
iv nur.i tiioii-'ii. declared Hose.
"u
itil I see theru iii jlu: old amdc-bln at
lll'lll"." ' '
"Why not ?"
"h, Sijuire (Vdrio is er (-entrie !'' Host:
UllU i': i d, carelessly.
'(' iric.' Is that his namer
"Vcs. Isn't' it an odd relic of the
Sao:i times.'"' laughed Hose.
"It's a very romantic name,"' remarked
Linnet, wrinkling her hrows- in jeetty
consideration of the cpithet-r1-
"' isti't rolliail! ie,"' ohserved IcH
"iMi't lu-? lhit why not I" 1
"II. "s k. old! Thirty, at l.-at!" Tiose
re-;,) ;i led, with an emphatic nod of the
head.
"Horrid o:;re !" said Linnet, who was
in her seventeenth c.sr. "C'ortic Kosev,
h tN z- home. l'.e. a-; hunirry as a canni
lal ! ( iath-'fing apph-s is xv.- hard work !"'
r-ie
tress
skipic'il aliead, with her v How
'oating behind, like stray strands
t I s;iMs!n
iit-. .it.it 1 1 1 t i'lilti ilri'c riu'lihfY
' , .III'. II" 1 l Mil I ll III - IIJ
drifts of perfumed leaves th.it
over
til
carpeted the path.
I jo
lt
1'o.ved, with affectionate eves
of admiration.
"What is the difference bet wee nine
a"d Limn tf she asked hem If. "My
tlress is white also; my hair is as golden
as hers. Why is it. that she is like a
ila:e in" sprite -I, a plodding hunu.li be
in:;:"' ' ' C
IV -r little Kosy! She did not realize
that I.innt t Di'ssoir had grown up in an
altog, thei different atmosphere; that I.in
nt t had u'u ous. io'i-ly model-- 1 her dres
fr.
th
'in the graceful ro!e whit h her father,
artist, kept to drap- his lay-figures;
that In r eye had been trained, her tate
cultured, in every j ossibh- point.
"He's only . 1 ptHr struggling nrtM !"
T.V. ..IT I 1 11 .... .....
i .iiaai nt uioa na'i iei u nwu nnnuiui-
toudy to observe, when he saw hislnoth-
t r ind 1 s name among the lists special-
ly ho 'ored by the Academy of Design.
"IL's a good follow enough," Luene
D.-oir airily n marked, when his agruul-
tui.il connection happen ?d to be men
ti "a - d. -But he hasn't ;nn idea be
vend his o-,n fat cattle! He don't as e ;
he only y. getates!"'
Luuut, however, the bright, mothcr-les.y.-r,Mg
beauty, was a great favorite of
thi ki ,1 1 -hrarte l llohronspind when she
had st enthusiastically admired the beau
tiful p"n'x-a:,d-wYieUdy-app!e$ on Squire
S.md ford's tree. Mr. lb hrouhad gone so
far out of his way to ask the squire for a
barrel.
'Mud to ph ase the little rdrl," sai 1 he.
"She viinks a th ai of pretty things.'
"She is quite "welcome," said Squire
Sandford, with formal, politeness. "If
you will s 'lid a barrel to the tree to-morrow,
Mr. Hebron, it shall be filled for
jour niece."
And w hen the squire said this he pict
ured in his mind's eye the aforesaid i.iece
as a romp of eleven or twelve, with
shingled hair, freckles ami preternatural
ly long arms.
All niht tangLincQt Deeioii dreimed
J of the lady-apples, and when the fun
roK j a 'ph re ot rubied fire, above the i
eastern hiiN, hhu jumped out of bed and
dres-ed herself w ith haste.
"I can't fclec-) another minute," .said
she. "It'.s just the very sort of morning
to walk out across the woods and look at
th- lady-apple-tree, with the little spring
gu-hir.g out .so close to its root?, and the
Ida J alters, and thickets' of golden-rod,
by the stone fence. I won't wake Koy.
Rosy wa up late last night, putting la
bels on the quince jelly. I'll let her
.sleep, and go by myself!"'
But Miss Hebron was no more of a lag
gard in the morning than v;u- her city
cousin. At seven preci-ely she knocked
at Linnet's door, but the bird had flo wn.
"How provoking!" said Hose. "But
I'll follow her. She must have gone to
try to make that sketch of the old mossy
roek close to the bdy-ap!c tree! I won
der if she knows that my father has pas
tured Ajax in the adjoining field?'
"Ajax" was a savage, ; beautiful bull,
who was at once the pride and torment
of Farmer Hebron, and a thrill of terror
came into Rose's heart as she made all
speed to follow the dewy track of Lin
net's footsteps over the grass.
As she readied the belt of woods close
to the apple-orchard, she paused in dis
may at the sound of a sweet, high pitched
voice.
It's Linnet!" she involuntarily ex
claimed. ''And she's scolding some
body: IKar me, whom can it be? Sure
ly not Ajax!"
"You are a thief!" she could hear Lin
net exclaim -""a robber! Let that bar
rel of apples alone, 1 say. I don't care
whether, you are Squire Sand ford or not.
That barrel of apples is mine!"'
And as Rose drew near, she could see
this dimpled young Amazon resolutely
deS-nding the barrel of apples, with her
single strength, against Squire Sand ford
and his stoutest farm laborer.
She stood there, with one slight hand
on the red-checked fnfit, which was
brimming over the barrel-hoops, and be
fore her the tall squire and his herculean
aid-de-camp were helpless.
"If you will allow me to explain "
pacifically began the squire.
"I will allow nothing!" declared Lin
net. "I repeat, these apples arc mine!
Touch them, at your peril!"
Thus Jar the young heroine was a con
queror. But alas! in that very moment
of victory Nemesis was at hand. There
was the dull sound of trampling hoofs,
Jhen a sullen bellow, and Ajax himself,
bursting through a weak spot in the
fmice, was upon them.
Linnet I)esoir collapsed, so to speak,
at once. She forgot her heroism, her
dignity everything but her danger, and
Hew," for rescue, to Squire -S.mdford,
shrieking: .
"Save me! save me!''
The farm-hand dogged behind the
wagon; but Squirt; San ford never
quailed, but held her resolutely in his
arm-.
"Do not be afraid," he said, almost as
if he ha 1 been speaking to a; frightened
child. "Nothing shall harm you, little
one'."
For an instant, things look very black;
then Squire Sand ford spoke gently once
more.
"Do not hold my arm so tightly," said
he, "Let me g t at my revolver.. I must
shoot the brute! 2S'o, don't be so terri
fied. Do not you hear me say that noth
ing should harm youl'1
And then the problem, resolved itself,
I as problems often do. Ajax, butting his
i huge head against the barrel of lady-ap-
i pies, sent them -rolling in all direction
! and caught his horns in the barrel itself,
i effectually blinding him. He set oil at a
I -it it 1 .1 1 Ml I. 11
. wild ":uion iiowu me mil, nenowing as
j he went, and there he met his fate in the
j shape of two or three men with a run-
j ning noose of rope and a good stout
j cjiain.
1 "Hello, pet!" shouted Farmer Heb
ron's voice. "What's the matter? She
hasn't fainted, has she, squire?"
And Linnet, realizing that she was safe,
bludiinglr withdrew from Mr. Sand ford's
slu luring arm, and ran to her uncle
"I run much obliged to you, sir,"
she whisjH'red. "And please please
don't mind what I said about the apples.
Yi-u are yvitc welcome to them."
"11. v? Apples!" said Mr. Hebron
"Why, Linnet didn't. you know that I
carted the barrel of apples that the
squire- gave you home List night."
Linnet grew crimson all over, and fled
to Kobe's faithful breast for consolation.
I I shall never dare to look that man
in the face again," she bewailed herself.
"Oh, dear oh, dear, what irr.ai he have
thought of me I"
But of course Mr. Sand ford considered
it only right and proper to call that eve
ning, and inquire how Miss Dessoir
found herself; and really the meeting
was not half as embarrassing as Linnet
had f aacied it would b
They had a good laugh about i'ax
and the apples; and Linnet confesed
how dreadfully frightened she had beti.
"And with reason," said Squire Sanl
ford. "There was a second or two a
widely we were in very serious danger.'
"But you will forgive me about tin .
apples?" S3it I Linnet, with pretty, coax
ing earnestness-.
"Oh, yes, I will forgive you abe'ut the t
appk-s!" Squire Sa:,dford laughingly
returned.
And 'in that moment ' Linnet thought
wjiat a very pretty color his eyes were.
decided that he couldn't possibly be
thirty years old.
k-
"Isn't it strange," said Rose Hebron,
"that wc have lived neighbor to Squire
Sand ford all these years, and he has nev-
er been more than ordinarily polite to j
me? And here comes Linnet, and quar- j
rels with him at live minutes'-notice, and
calls him all sorts of names, and now
they are engaged to be married, and ,
am to be the bridesmaid." ;
"Xot at all strange!" said Miss Dessoir.
"To me it seems as nice and natural as !
Possible. But vou are mistaken about
his age, Kosv. He is only twenty-nine. I
And if he were a hundred and twenty- j
nine, I should love him all the same."
"Of course," said Rose; that is what
all engaged girls saw" Helen Forest
Graves.
Turkish Public Amusements.
The public amusements of the Turks
consist of ittd'in-fywno, kara-ifeozQaixd
the 7neJJiih. Meydan-oyoonoo is a Fort
of low burlesque, acted by men only and
without a stage, the changing of cos
tumes being effected behind a tempora
ry screen. The kara-g'eoz is the Turk
ish "Punch and Judy," rendered in
shadows, a white sheet being stretched
across one of the angles of the room di
agonally, forming the base of a triangle,
behind whi'h the performer takes his
stand, ami by the force of a strong light
casts the -"shadows of coming events" on
the sheet, And the meddah is the fa
mous Vdory-teller of the East. The ab
sence of works of fiction, and the general
ignorance of the people, who do not
even know how to read,, make the narra
tives of the meddahs quite acceptable to
the public, who flock to hear them for
pastime, for the love of the marvellous is
wui,unumi111 uw ",UU1 ,lul
.....r..i :.. .i
tive nature of the p.-o;iie of that sunny
clime to remain without some develop
ment." Hence their popularity. Then,
again, these meddahs are not destitute of
dramatic power, entrancing their atten
tive audiences bv the magnetism of high-
ly .vrought fiction, exaggerated descrip-
tion, and effective mimicry.
some ot tnem nave acijuireti a renown lor
their specialty. Kiz-Ahmed, or Lady
Ahmed, is so named on account of his
successful ability in "taking off" the la-
dies, and l'itijemin is noted for the "pa
thetic." Thev exercise certain coup Je
theatre of their own, and are1 by the ex
cited fancies of the people invested with
a genii-like power, as they condense into
a passing hour the scenes of an eventful
life, or detail the enchantments of fairy
dom. In fact, tiiese meddahs oecuoy
the Oriental lecture field, and on festiv
occasions provide a most welcome part of
the entertainment. Their tales, general
ly vulgar, to suit public taste, arc often
not devoid of nomc good moral, and
their comicalitias hold up somj popular
vice to public derision. Hirjers Bazar.
Going to Sea in a Flatboat. (
Recently the pilot at Eadsport-on the
Mississippi river, noticed a singular
looking craft, with two sails and a jib,
making its way down the jetties to sea,
but paid no. particular attention to it.
There was a heavy sea on at the time,
and when she ha i got about five miles
out into the gulf the pilot boat Under
writer caught sight of her, and, seeing
that she was in danger, weat to her as
sistance. On reaching the strange craft it vras
found .that her rudder was broken and
she was unnnnngeahle in fact, that she
was an old-fashioned "scow or flatboat,
with two short masts ami a jib. The
calking was coming out of the seams,
she had no bulkheads or strengthening
braces, or any similar device of marine
architecture. The only living things
aboard were one man. his wife, two chil
dren, and a dog.
These adventurers were all the way
from some interior j-.-uit in Arkansas, on
shcir way to Florida, without knowledge
or even
maritime
chart, chronometer, or oth r
appliances. There was no
water aboard, and but little provisions.
The captain of this nondescript must
have been reading some dime novel, and
probably thought he -could hitch up at
night, get water and provisions, and go
ahead whenever he desired. He had, he
said, been six years buiidfing this craft.
The people aboard wet rciied from
death, and brought to the city.
A TALK ON THIEVES.
What a City Police Inspector
Knows about Them.
No Bolder thin other Men, but Helps!
by Timid People's Pears.
:
"Many 'people have an idea," said In-
-erector Steers recently, "that burglars,
ind other lawbreakers, whose line of busi
ness is attended with personal danger,
are built ua a different pattern from the
avi rage human being. They are supposed
to he without fear and to carry in their
natures a large amount of terrifying mate-
rial, ready to be set off at a moment's no-
tice. They are supposed to be rough,
gruff and careless of human life. This is
true in some instances, but in the great
majority of cases thieves differ little in
these respects from the ordinary citizen,
They don't like to work, are lazy and
their organ of acquisitiveness is not regu-
lated by a cultivated conscience. It is
difficult to understand why a man with a
Vile and family, who moves in good so-
ietv. has an income larire enough to live
in comparative luxury, and is respected
ly everyone, becomes a thief. He has
I everything to make his life happy, and
; yjt w ill give it all up to have a little
! more money. It looks a good deal like a
1 disease which comes over a man, and he
I cannot help giving up to its influence,
Prisons are full of just such people.
"Thieves when committing crime al-
ways have in mind a way to escape if dc-
tected. They do not want to be caught or
f killed. They will take desperate chan-
cesto get away. If a life stands in their
way of escape, they will take it, not as a
matter of hatred or pleasure, but as a
i - part of their education and trade. But
; this in every case is only a last resort,
! and no thief will add murder to his crime
' unless certain he can get awav. As a
rule they are not to be feared. A show
of nerve will always unbalance them.
This applies particularly to the police
man. Even though they know that they
have an advantage over a man who wakes i
up suddenly in the night and finds a
stranger prowling around thev will ro-
S.- A U W - I
spect and fear him, if he doesn't show
any sign of fright. Scared people help
along their business. But a policeman is
on an coual footinir with a thief in re-'
1 "
gard to being awake and armed. If he
is possessed of the real genuine nerve, the
case is soon settled, and the thief will us
ually surrender without trouble. Bluff
will not do. A thief can sec a lurking
sense of fear in an officer's heart, and
will make things lively if he finds it. A
ouiot determination on the officer's mrt.
that indicates a supreme confidence in his
own ability to take his man or men into
custody, as if it was an every day affair,
is what takes the starch out of the bold
est rascals.
"Policemen frequently get into tight
places. When they get out of them
alive, and think -what they have gone
through, I have seen the most stout
hearted of them shako a little. A good
man will never know his danger until it
is over. If he should stop to think when
there are many chances against him, he
would be likely to lose his grit. He
must think and act like a flash. Hunt
ing for a thief in a darfc. house is what
will try a man. The recollection of
Tmer! T lmvf lxen in nt f!mh luring
, rxncr;cuce nn nmfr w;n hrinr
ona chill of fright. I well remember a
HveK- ltimrfor T went nftor m-mr rw
ago. aii aiarm nai been given, and 1
had him located in the second story of a
high building. He was calmly picking
vdt the most valuable articles to take
away when I surprised him. He was a
tall sinewy and slippery fellow, and at
the first sound I made he made a leap as
if shot from a cannon. Up the stairs he
flew like a streak, and I went after him.
He evidently knew the building; I did
not, and hit every obstruction I could
find, lie gained the roof when I was
half-way up the stairs leading to the
scuttle, and when I got there I could just
see his figure in the darkness going like
the wind. 1 followed hirn without hesi
tation and when he got to tho side of the
house he stood a second and then jumped
I was going so fast that I went right off
...:;,. !,...;.. ),.. t
would laud. It seemed in the confusion
as if I went down fiftv feet, bvfore I
struck anything. 'Then I landed square
on mv feet with a force that nearly &hook '
my teeth out. I
thought for a morne:
that I had fallen N-tween two houses.
was right on the thief's, heels arid before
he could take a step, I caught him. I
was sore from that fall and I did not nut
a tender grip on the fellow. He did not
struggle and I took him in quittlv. The
next dav I went ar-und to look at the
houses, "and found that I had jumped
from one 'roof to another, a distance of
from fifteen to twenty feet. I never got
v J , ' v'
the shock from that ;ump.
ws MTereij sprained, aad though
over
IraO si
xrmaf years rrav since passe 1, uic anKic
f,tiil barotntricar indicates an ap
proaching storm and is exceedingly pain
ful at times in damp weather. Xao
Won bj an Accident.
"When we say that something happen Kl
from chance we really mean only that' it
'occurred, without r in spite of previous
planning by the men who wished to con
trol events. History knows of empires
which have been lost or saved "by acci
dent," that is, as the result of acts which
1 a
were not within the control of sovereigns
and generals
One such case the story is narrated
in the second part of the Greville Me-
moirs was the victory, in 1S15, of the t
English over the Sikhs Ferozeshah.
At a critical point in the battle, the
goveuor-general of India, Lord Hardjnge,
who commanded in erson, thougtitrthe j
battle was lost. Believing that his army
would be destroyed, and not expecting
to survive the defeat, he gave his watch
and some- other things to cne of his
officers, asking that they might be con-
veyed to his wife with the assurance that
his last thoughts were about her
Just at this time, one of Lord Hard -
inge's staff, also in despair, having lost
his. head, through nervousness or fear,
rode up to the commander of the Kug
lish Cavalry, and communicated an or-
dcr which lie declared he had received,
that the cavalry should retreat. , The
commander asked for a written7trder;
the staff-officer admitted he had none,
but spoke so positively as to the instruc
tion which he was charged to deliver,
that the commander gave the order that
his men should retire.
The Sikhs, seeing the cavalry drawing
off, supposed the movement to be for the
purpose of attacking them on their flank,
and cutting off their communications. A
panic seized them and they began to re
treat. The English commander-in-chief
noticed the disorder in the Sikh. ranks,
and ordered a charge along his w hole
line which resulted in the rout of the
-enemy.
Thus a victory winch saved India to
England was due to a nervous officer
s -
who invented an order he had never re-
ceived. If the British troops" had been
defeated, the whole of India would
doubtless have risen to throw off the
yoke of those whom the Sikhs had beaten
in battle. Youth's Companion.
Useful Hints.
"When a setting hen is too indisposed
to stay on the nest continuously, let her
rest alternate days and tie the rooster on
the nest while she's resting.
The soot can be thoroughly swept out
of a chimney by dropping a gooso in it at
the top. The goose, in vainly striving to
fly upward, thoroughly cleans the chim
ney with its wings.
By immersing the entire body in soft
tar before taking n bee-tree, one can ren
der himself invulnerable to the' assaults
of the bees.
You can smoke a rabbit out of a hol
low by smoking a cigarette close enough
to let the stench enter the hole.
The scent of whisky on the breath
can be subdued by smearing asafcetida
on the moustache.
"When your bedfellow snores and rc-
fuscs to huslb trump up a counterfeit
nightmare ami straddle his neck. If
this does n't stop him, kick him out of
l'c in such a way that his head will
"KC UlC llOOf IltSt. 1 Ht resulting CCrO-
!
bral agitation will keep him awake for
the rest of the night and give you a
chance to doze a little.
If you make a habit of keeping live
mice in your pockets, your loose chango
will be comparatively safe from your en
terprising wife.
If you take a small step-ladder with
you into the theatre it will be very ser
viceable when the ftage is barricaded
from view by a big hat.
Freckles can be removed from the face
with sand-paper. ,(, .
i
t
'Wire Docs the Milking." !
"A little story" brings to m;n 1 with
renewed force the old proverb, "truth is
stranger than fiction." We were talking
j OI "UL i-Jn nc oi a KicKing
c cow, w ucu our uirvn man saii:
I Z'1 ue hria find a customer for her.
i irrc's aa I"hman P R
bought a cow of one of our neighbors.
He told the Irishman that he must tell
him one thing a'.xmt the cow before he
j eJo-td the bargain that the cow would
I sometimes kicK."
j "The tender "God -ordained protec-
1 ior" of our x rt:PHcd:
! "Th;it mak n'' rtnee; my wic
I V0 tLe nUik:n-' j
i j I ve often heard such things told, j
! il hriTC retimes thought they cuut j
u v:s UJJlu' ui lu VJiai a xau"1
ulomatalc." Bui this is a fact: fori
1 n-e'ia-ed th- man abo-t it. and h- said
j q-ea--cu ie man aoout , aaa n-saia
j he kntw it wM true. WVmM wwi,
! The Wind Bbj.
Ja summer th ifttlo wind baby
i Is ploasiant as ever yoa plesp,
; And then Is the time that we call him
A zrphyr, and sometimes a brvem
In autumn ho gits a bit rougher.
And blows th Irtircs hiUvgr and ron:
! In winter he ril up tlw snow-drifts.
Ami thinks it mt capital fun.
But March comes, ami Uien the wind tviby
lias nothing no leaves ami no snow.
: D'you hear him sere am down through tho
! chimney,
1 'Como out! Oh, you daren't, I know!"
': --Youth's CVimjvintVm.
HUMOROUS
An ulster covers a multitude of patches.
The telephone operator has a perpetual
holler day.
A young lady wrapped up in herself is
a delicate parcel.
"Lend me your cars," as the farmer
said to the corn stalk.
A policeman, like a man climbing a
ladder, goes the rounds.
Two heads are better than one on a
freak in a dime museum. '
The nick of time The piece broken
out of the ancient crockery.
"When the heart is full the lips are si
lent; when the man is full it is different.
John Buskin wants the sew ing ma
chine to go. Let him put his feet on tho
treadle and work it, then.
The man who never gets mad is sup
posed to be a half-brother to the woman
who never looks behind her.
A patent medicine advertisement says:
"The human body is much like a good
clock." This sounds reasonable. A good,
many men spend a large part of- their
time in striking.
"Are you pretty well acquainted with
your mother tongue, my boy?" asked tho
.school teacher of the new scholar. "Yc
sir," answered the lad timidly, "ma jaws
me a good deal, sir."
One thousand dollars in gold weighs
forty pounds. It Ls the necessity of carry
ing home from their offices the daily in
come of specie that makes so many news
paper men round shouldered.
A small child bcingasked by a Sunday
school teacher: "What did the Israelites
do after they had crossed the It"d Sea?"
answered: "I don't know, ma'am, but
I guess they dried themselves."
Literary ihsm (laiighingly) Yes, I took
to literature naitnrklly. I was vaccinated
from a quill, you know. Friend (grimly)
The world would have been the gainer
if you had been vaccinated from a pick
or shovel.
Sunday school scholar (to teacher)
"Did you say that the hairs of tny head
were all numbered?" Teacher "Yes,
my dear." Sunday school scholar
"Well, then, (pulling out a hair and pre
senting it), what's the number of this?
one?"
'IIow do you do, Mary? I've been
trying to catch up yith you for half an
hour. I knew you jtlst as Roon as I set
eyes on that bonnet. I've known it as
long as I can remember." It i? such re
marks as this that fill the female heart
with bitterness.
A Chicago boy of fourteen years re-;
cently ran away from home to become a
pirate king. He was captured by a
policeman ami returned to his parents.
He didn't become that kind of a king
but after a brief interview with his father
he was aching.
Making It Illndliij.
"I am a lawyer's daughter, you know,
George dear," the said, after (b-orge had
projtostd arid had Ik u accepted, "and
you wouldn't think it strange if I wero
to ask you to ugn a little paj r to the
effect that we are engaged, would you?"
George was too happy to think any
thing strange jut then, and he eigned
the pajKT with a trembling hand and a
bursting heart.
Then she laid her ear against his mid
dle vest button and they were very hap-
rj-
'Tell me, darling'," taitl George after
a long delicious silcnc, "why did yon
! want me to sign that Ttatxrr? Do von not
j rq ilapucit confidence in rny love for
.vt
! you:
'Ah ys," he nghed with infinite
content, "indeed I do; but G'org air.
I have Ixeca fooled eo rnXiy tm-a,
Life.
An Ancient Chapter House l'oea:t!i t!
A musing chapUrdiou- whirh
buried during the great firr- at Dublin it
the 13th rcnturr, has 1-cen dhcovcr?-d by
tome workmen who were excavating m
derneath Christ thu th cathedral. In the
chapter-house were beautifully carved
effigies, coins, tiles, and marvelous speci
mens of architecture. The dicurerj
was not devulged to the public until re
cently, and it has treated quite a n-nsa-
I - Th lori1 maJor. ,hc clergy and
I Fincst officials and citizens have ia
i , .-tw
. 1 ciTtd nid