erord.
H. A. LONDON, Jr ,
rnrTOR avi rnoriiiETOR.
11 1 ii
or
A I) VK11T LK I N5.
j Onnjtnrp, nnolnvrtlnn,
Oiit.-'inaio, lw In i m
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION:
On ropy lt month -
Onecopy, tluo iin'iiMi..,
f?.rv
3nequari.' i I'oiiii, .....
;.5o
VOL. IV
PITTSBOKO', CHATHAM CO., N. C, MAY 25, 1882.
iNO. 37.
Pnr tarter ,vW. niM-iui.ini.lll...i :l in v. ul
made.
In Innocence.
Dwelt my soul in drraminr; clayn
In a palace rich and wide.
There down dim sequestered ways
Moved an angel by her side.
Ilnly was her face aud sweet,
Aid ber lips breathed forth pi-ifiiiuo,
And unheard her veiled h-ct
(ilided thro' Hip ecente 1 kIuoih.
Where nil thine, won- wondrous fair.
And the yhauiiue; golden doors
fcbed a nive'ii: liuht and lure
Over tesi-t llali'd ll u.r- ,
And a nighty harmony
Evor rose and penned along.
In a rapturous melutly
Sweeter than Hie eweeteot sons.
When at eve Hie unet turned
All tho wcetcrn skies to flume,
Then thn rnoiiix in (-Inry burned,
Kvf r beautiful and fame.
Haiti the angel, "8 ml, tlum must
finard the doors i re dm linens fall?.
With Hie bars of piayt r and trust,
'OaiuBt the foe without thy walls."
And my aotil In r nn-wer made,
Hmiliiiff, " Have I need t" fear '
Is there ajiulrl lr make afraid.
Oh, my Jk'i with Hue near ' '
Thus one etc the palate lav
Dreaming in the flood id ;o 1,
Which divinent iU'Iik d ij
Wmppril Hie earth in. fold on (old.
Thr n my soul thons'ht imt of praycis.
nut in doubtful, vnildly mood,
I.enped for earth, till unawares.
Propped the darkness where hIi st 1
Fell npon my se.nl a fi ar
As the frost falls en the flowers ;
Anil the angel whit-pen .1 w ar.
" I.o, the fne have -mm d thy towers."
Tears were in the angel's eyes
As ehe winged her flight in pain
With r. cry to Paradise
Will she ever come n-ion
Who ean ti ll ? ah, wn,.'-. the ,1a v.
For my soul knew ii"t the sin
Till the angel tied anav
And a deiuen nt, n .l in.
HUGH EVANS' ADVENTURE.
HY I,rtT SMOENBIRN.
Hugh Evans was growing angry; he
walked one step forward anil then was
blown two fort backward by the rapine
blast.
"It seems to cic," he grumbled, "that
whichever way I go, from that direction
tho wind begins to blow. Thank
Heaven, here's home at l ist I"
With a feeling of gnat wtiisfuet ion hit
reached the door of a handsome homo
that stood among a row of equally pre
tentious mansions. Ue fumbled in hiH
rocket for Lis night key, and after over
hauling a dozen loose papers, he suc
ceeded in finding it. He tried to lower
his umbrella.
"What's the matter wiih the stubborn
old machine?" he said. "This e rnes
of lending it to a friend. I wish he had
never returned it.
The door opened, and a young lady
rushed toward him.
"Oh, you've come at last!" she ex
claimed. "Bella is almost wild because
joa delayed. Why didn't jou v-ouie
sojner?"
"Beg pardon," began Hugh.
"Ask your wife's pardon, not mine.
Hury 1 Let me take your dripping
umbrella. The doctor has been here,"
went on the young lady, breathlessly,
"and Belle is crying her ev. s out. Ifow
could you stay so long at the club and
leave ua here ojone ?"
Hugh rubbed bis eyes.
"What a hyyocrite, pretending to
cry !" said his companion.
"Where's mother?" he asked.
"Mother? Whose mother? Baby's
mother?" inquired the young lady.
"Why up stairs, of course."
He sprang up two steps at a time.
"Mother," he shouted, "who's Belle?
Why is the gas turned so low ?"
A female figure was discernible in the
upper hall, and as he approched it, he
was greeted by a shower of tears.
Go right back, dear husband, and
call Dr. Cnreall. I want you hold the
poor little dear for him 1" said the
sobbing female.
"Zounds ! Woman, I know nothing of
you or your baby, Where's mv mother,
X say ? '
At this moment a furious ring at the
bell was heard, a servant answered the
summons, and a man heavily muffle:!
came bustling in.
"What a night I" exclaimed the new
comer.
"My gracious I Bi other Earnest!"
exolairr.ed the young lady, coming for
ward. "Why, Earnest, how can you bo
up stairs sod down stairs at the same
time ? How happens it ?"
"Go way with your conundrums.
Don't try to be funny -I'm not in the
mood. I got in the wrong car coming
home, end had to walk across town in
this dizzle. My feet are soaking. I
roust have walked out of ray arctic when
1 stepped c ff the car. Help me off with
my over cost. How's baby, Maud ? '
But Maud was already at the head of
the stairs.
"R'ally, madam?, pinch me, I must
be asleep, for I've no wife, never had a
wife, never eipeot to have a wife I"
"What's the vow?" cried Earnest,
pushing pa-4 Maud. "Is baby worse,
Belle ? For God's sake, tell me !"
"Oh, Earnest I ' said the weeping fe
male, ubd forthwith fainted completely
away, and would have fallen bnt for the
protecting arms of Hugh, which gal
lantly received tho sinking form.
"Doctor," exclaimed Earnest, address
ing Hugh, "my wife, my child 1 Doctor,
tell me the worst I"
"Water! water! Don't yon 6eo the
lady has fainted V" cried Hugh.
"Yes, doctor. Ring the bell, Maud.
No matter I'll run for water."
The disconsolate husband rushed pell
mell into the bath-room; here was water
enough, a whole bath tub full; but how
to curry it to Bello ? His eyes fell on a
watering pot, aud appropriating it, he
thurst the vessel in tho tub and tilled it.
1 ,) lick, Earnobt!" called Maud.
"Water !" again shouted Hugh.
"Here's plenty," replied Earnest, try
ing to steady himself.
"Oh, Earnest, Belle will die! She
will never come to her senses I fear
sho i.i bteathing her last !" sighed
Maud.
"Belle, Belle, only live I I'll give
up the club -I'll never smoke agaiul
Only live !" ho prated, as ho approuched
his unconscious darling. "Here, doc
tor," ho continued, "here's tho water."
I'nluckly his foot slipped, and like a
shower bather tho contents of the inno
cent watering pot descended on the
fated four. Belle opened her eyes as
the reviving deluge came and continued
to cnine.
"She revives !" broke in tho loving
husband. "Belle lives ! Oh, doctor, 1
can brave any fate now !" and he shook
of! tho offending drops.
'Tai drwt:ed!" vociferated Maud.
"What next ?" domauded Hugh.
"Doctor, doctor, help mo to carry my
dear wife into tho room, and, doc or is
baby so much worse?" inquired the
anxious father. "Dj not fear to tell
me; I would know the worst."
Again a furious ting resounded
through the house, and Dr. Cnreall was
ushered iu by a servant.
"Why, Dr. Cm call, how ean jou be
here and there at the same time ? ' ex
claimed Earnest, letting go, in his
umiiZL-uieul, the hold ho had on his wife,
whoso tiny feet came down with a bung
on the. oiled tl jor.
"Strange time to jest 1" said tho doc
tor, joining the purty. "What kind of
trouble are yuu having?"
Then, as he noted the unusual ap
pearance of the lady of tho house, a
lion ible suspicion took possession of
his brain; it was plainly evident that
the unfortunate fenialo had taken a drop
too much; and he recoiled in horror,
"Who are you?" demanded Ernest,
confronting Hugh.
'Who am I? More likely, who are
you ? I am master here this houco is
mine. You must be etcaped lunatics or
usurpers. Now I ask again, who are
you '!" fiercely cried Hugh.
Zounds ! man, how dare you ?"
Belle's eyes were open now, and she
shrank from the arms that encircled
her. With Hugh's assistance she was
enabled to stand.
"Zounds ! man," shrieked Ernest,
"you are master here ? Bello, how did
this man come here ? Who is he, I do
mand ?"
"Where is my mother?" questioned
Hugh in return.
"Where her son ought to bo," growled
Earnest. "Belle, I see it all I You
thought I would stay at the club until
late, and you would have a quiet flirta
tion with this villian; but I caught you.
And you, Maud, my own sibter, I could
not believe that yon would countenance
such a proceoding !''
The nurse came down stairs, exclaim
ing. "I thought tho doctor came. Baby
Will is kicking and yelling; my urms
and ears ache, ne must have tho doc
tor !"
"Where am I ?" interrupted Hugh.
He looked around; suddenly a light
dawned on bis befogged aud beclouded
Intellect, and he burst into a hearty
laugh.
"What are you laughed at, you double-dyed
monster? Laughing at the
misery you have wrought ? " Dootor,
you are a witness to my wife's perfidy !"
said the exoitnble Ernest.
"Listen," began Hugh.
"I will not !" returned Earnest.
"Listen let mo explain. I live at
number six I street," said Hugh.
"And this is number six J street,"
bawled Ernest, so that his voice might
be heard above the din which the cry
ing child made.
"Here's my card Hugh Evans, at
yon service. All I can say to this awk
ward predicament is that in the dark I
mistook your bouse for my mother's.
Will you not aocept my apology ?"
"Hush Evans?" Why, old chum, it
cannot be! Here we havo been living
only one square distant from each other
Give me your hand. Hal ha ! I under
stand it. Fine joke I Wife, I'll never
be joalous again. Forgive me I Well,
since you will not look after the baby,
I'll discharge yon, Hugh. To thiuk I
mistook you for a doctor and then ior a
villian ! I must have been crazy," said
Earnest,
"Well, Eirnest, I'll Vatt once mure
for home," said Hugh.
Not until you promise to come again.
I want to talk over our merry ollege
days once more. Ujuio to-morrow
night, aud you will not have such a
chilling reception as you received to
night." "I'll go to M.ister Will and see if 1
cm relievo him also," obscived Dr.
Cnreall.
Hugh Evans took hu departure, and
the next night found him again at the
residence of his now-found friend. Tho
evening passed pleasantly. Maud Bor
rows he. found very entertaining; then
he discovered she was remarkably in -tcrestiiiB;
later h thought slio was fuc
inating, and before the hour arrived for
him to SHy "good night," he kuew she
was truly lovabl".
Evening ufter evening found Hugh at
the sido of Maud, until Muu.1 began to
count the hours until it was time for
him to repo t his visit.
Bello felt happier uow that her hus
buud had loft his club, aud E truest,
sitting with his baby on hie knees,
looked the. picture of content.
"Why, havo you heard the news,
Maud?'' he said. "Our friend Hugh is
foing to start for Europe soon; he call
ed down town to-day, to tell me that his
business requires him to get ready at
once."
Why was it thst Maud trembled eo ?
now lonely sho would bo wlieu he was
gone !
"Thei", T forgot; I must call on a
client now; Hugh will be here soon;
tell him I will return iu an hour, at
most," said E truest ; and Maud was
alone with ber grief.
"Hut;li is going away. What shall 1
do ?" sho moaned.
The bell rang. Maud ran out into
the hull and quickly opened tho door
herself.
"Maud, doar Maud !" said a voice she
loved well. "What a homo feeling pos
sesses mo when I see you at the door !"
They passed into the park r.
"D. you know, Maud, that I am
obliged to leave you?"
Somehow the tear? could not bo kept
back.
"But, M m l, I roturu iioon, and then
will jou bo my own promised' bride?"
A happy, subdued light hhono in the
maiden's eyes, but. she spoke not.
"It will bo bird to pait with you, but
Maud, better still, say you will be
mine at once, and over tho water.-; we'll
sail together."
Maud's lovely head dropped; some
how the lover took this as a signal that
she conseuted, aud clasped her to his
heart.
"You pioniise. All my life, when I
shall 1 ok on my darling wifo, I'll blus
tho stoira that drove mo to the wrong
house, and think that mistakes aro often
but tho workings of Fate." f Waverly.
Nearly Kissetl i'licniselies to Itealli.
OiculaMnu i-j unquestionably a pleas
ing pursuit. It has been recoguiz -d us
suoh from time immemorial, by genera
tions, un numbered of lovirs, poets, and
even philosophers. There arc doubt
less at the present moment in this, as
iu other countries, many enamored
swaius, who ask no better than to be
permitted to imprint 'ten thousand
kisses," one after another, upon the lips
of tho damsels upon whom they have
bestowed their affections. They may,
however, esteem themselves fortunate
if their opportunities in this direction
aro somewhat limited, as the following
true story will show: At an evening
party iu Kelkhciui a few weeks ago tho
conversation happened to turn upon
kissing, and tho question arose how
many salutations of this class could be
exe-1 iitigrd between two ardent lovers
within a eertiin space of time. As
usual, opinions differed, and the discus
tion waxed warm. I'reseutly a fiery
jouth offered to bet anybody present
tho Oormim equivalent of a ten-pound
note that bo and his betrothed would
kiss one another ten thousand times
within ten houra, provided they were
permitted to partake of soma slight re
freshment at intervals of half an hour
during tho performance. His wager
having been accepted aud the money
posted, the aflianeed couple addressed
themselves to tho achievement of their
congenial task. At the expiration of
the lirst hour their account stood cred
ited with two thousand kissep. Dur
ing the second they added another
thousand, and during the third seven
hundred and fifty to that number.
Then, pitiful to state, they both broke
down. The youth's lips were strickeu
with cramp and the maiden fait ted
away. Later on in the evening she was
compelled to tak to her bed with a
sharp attack of neuralgia. An even
more distressing result ensued from this
surfeit of tender endearment, for it led
to the breaking off, by mutual consent,
of a hopeful matrimonial engagement.
Youug lovers should keep this sad tale
iu mind and moderate their transports,
for, strange as it may seem, Dan (tapid
himself may bo kiVed to death. Lon
don Telegraph.
TIIK HOItllKKV fWK.
Dl-eiiteiv l llie 1 1 it it til ,f Ho .latum
Brother- Viiltmble I'luntler It ei-nvei-ed.
Tho Gallatin Teunessean gives cur
rency to a story about the discovery of
a cave on the farm of C ilonel James
Alexander, on the Tennessee boundary
line, which had for years pist been the
haunt of the James brothers. Tho farm
upon which the cave was situated was
rented by a man giving his name as
F. J. Howard, who was i-carcely ever at
home, and the only person to be seen
about the bouse was an old colored
woman and her husband, who appeared
to manage tho farm and the few head
of cattio that grazed iu the pasture
Hold.
The oave is located in an isolated
spot upon the farm and is surrounded
by a dense uudergrowth and the en
trance to it is a mere sink hole, into
which the water from tho earth's sur
face flows, forming in tho cave a beau
tiful stream of water, as clear as crys
tal. The entrance, however, iH large
enough to admit of tho passage of a
m:tn on horseback, and the bandit-)'
horses were freipn nt ly corralled there
for days and nights together, while
their misters rolled themselves up iu
their blankets aud enjoyed such sweet
and refreshiug sleep as only a sense of
perfect security could give them.
The farm was occupied by Howard
until the dty the killing of Jesse James
was reported, when the occupants diu
sppeared, carrying away the household
guods, The owner of tho farm soon
after receivtd a letter signed Frank
James, alias F, J. Howard, sta'ing that
he had vacated the premises forever,
adding "visit the five ou your farm aud
you will find something to interest jou.
I shall avenge the death of my brother
or die in the attempt,"
Tho receipt of this letter greatly as
tonished Colonel Alexander, who called
about him a select number of his
friends to whom he rea 1 tho document,
and who woro as equally astonished.
Keeping tho matter a secret, they left
the same evening for a visit to tho cave,
and entering the same with torchci, a
strange, we'rd sight met their view
First, the skeletons of four horses, evi
dently left there by the robbers ou their
last raid, as they still emit an nnpleas
aut odor. Blankets aud mattressen
were strewn about promiscnoiwly, to
gether with cooking utensils and a few
pieces of furniture. This portion of
the cave is perfectly dry and afforded a
comfortable abode for the bandits. In
a niche iu one of the chambers was
found a half-bushel measure, such as is
used by farmers, and in it was found a
mi; cellaueous assortment of valuables,
evidently placed thcro and forgotten by
the robbeis.
Amon g the usKortmtnt wrie four dia
mond rings, two diamond necklaces,
nine diamond pins, ( supposed to be
diamonds), thirty gold watches, sixteeu
plain gold liujjs, twelve silver watches,
and many other articles too numerous to
mention ; .ll of which are uow locked
up in tho vault of the Huniuer Deposit
liauk, in Gallatin, for identification. A
photogiuph of a young lady, which
was taken ut Bardstuwu. Kentucky, was
among tho effects. Several of the
watches have initials which may lead to
their identification; one of them is en
graved as follows: "From Hughes ti
Touey."
American Postage Stumps.
Tue portrait of Benjamin Franklin
ou tho one-cent stamp, in imperial,
ultra-marine blue, is after a profile bust
of Itnbricht. Tho head of Andrew
Jackson on tho two cent stamp, in ver
milion, is from a bust by niram
Powers. The Washington head on the
green three-cent stump is after Hon
don's celebrated bust. The head on
tho five-cent blue stamp is that of
Z ichury Taylor. The Lincoln profile,
in red, on the six-eeut stamp, is after a
bust by Yolk. Tho seven -cent stamp,
in vermilion, gives tho head of Htauton
after a photograph. The head of Jef
ferson, on the ten cent stamp, in choco
late, is drawn from a life-sizo statue by
niram Powers. Tho portrait of Henry
Clay, in neutral purple, on tho twelve
cent stamp, is after n bust by nart.
The head of Webster, on the Ufteen
ceut stamp, in orange, is after the
(ilevinger bust. The portrait of (ten
Scott, on tho twenty-four cent stamp,
in purple, is after a bust by Coffee.
The' head of Hamilton, on the thirty
cont stamp, in black, is after the Cer
rachi bust, and tho portrait of Com
modore Oliver Hazard Terry, in car
mine, on the ninety-cent stamp, is after
Wolcott's statue. The style in which
these adhesive stamps are printed and
the clearness in outline of tho several
portraits, as well as the artistic excel
lence of. the engraving, reflect credit
ou the head of tho I'ostoflice Depart
ment, Mr. Creswell, under whose au
thority they were executod. The seven,
twelvo and twenty-four-cent stamps
havo been retired from use. The new
five-cent stamp will be a portrait of
Garfield, from the photograph of which
the t,)ueen had a copy, and which was
approved by Mrs. Garfield,
FOIt THE FAIR Sr A
Knahlon Nolfii.
The new blue is called blue de-mer.
Embroidered net fichus are dazzling
with jet.
The newest dresses have numerous
bows of ribbon on them.
Laces in all the fashionable colors are
used in trimmiug hats and bonnet".
Yelvet, slrange to say, is to be the
most fashionable of summer trimmings.
Large fans are painted with sun
flowers, tiger lilies or to match the
flowers on the dress.
Blue serge, for seaside dresses, may
be decorated with yellow fiauuel,
stitched or braided with black.
The Spanish lace, Spanish guipure,
C'arrickmu cross and point de gazo are
all much used in trimming.
The newest skirts have six loose,
deeply-folded sido plaits before and
behind, and the sides are plain,
Sontachu braid is still fashionable,
und is a neat and stylish trimming for
flannel costumes of either gray, blue
or green.
Street dresses are made as plain as
possible, but eveniug or dinner dresses
are very elaborate iu design and rich iu
material.
Tulle of all shades is worn for e cu
ing drestej, and black tullo is espe
cially becoming and elegant sprinkled
with jet and gold.
Immense bouquets are worn at the
side, suspended from the waist by a
cord made of flowers. This cold al.-.o :
passes around tho waist.
Trnno sapphire blue, brown at d myr
tle green are popular shades for spring
wear. ery pale piuK, yellow and
cnam aro tho favoiite light colors. '
White drosses are entirely of em- j
broidery, with a pannier sash of satin
surah passed around tho hips and tied
in a groat bow, with ends for drapery
behind.
Yery long stocking mitts, in tan, j
lichen, green, flesh and almond tints, :
and also in black and white, will be i
much worn when tho weather becomes j
warm enough. !
Velvet aud satin, spotted grenadines!
and gauzes will bo very elegant at the I
summer resorts, and even cloth aud
woolen material havo three spot i in!
velvet raised on them. j
A very pretty suit is of pale, gray i
cashmere, with copper-colon d velvet
lor the collar, cuffs and facing, or even j
for the petticoat front; or wiih cream-j
white camel's hair, electric blue velvet :
that is almost green.
Tho new colors aro copied from
foliage and tlowsrs, and take their
name accordingly. Among the greens
is the elder greeu, sycamore aud lichen
greens. "Sunflower yellow" is shown j
in ribbon and crapes, while the paler
yellow tints are maize.
III a new style of hair-dressing the
hair falls in curls froai the croa-n of j
the head over the shoulders, and is
confined by a fillet of rib'ion, precisely j
as seen in poi tr ii of the tim-' f iln-
French Directory. This stylo is suita
bio and becoming to ouly very yi nu ;
and beautiful women. j
All Fleetrlcal Lady.
A Nevada City lady of high social
stauding presents a singular case for
the consideration of rcienti--ts. For
many years she has been afflicted with
acute neuralgic pains iu various parts of
the body, aud, some time since, hoping
to find relief, resorted to the use of au
electric battery. She used the appara
tus for six months, but, found no relief
At this timo nothing was noted of au
unusual character as the result, although
several months have sineo elapsed, it
was only when the re-cent cold weather
commenced that any extraordinary
symptoms followed. One night a short
time ago the lady had occasion to enter
a dark room and pick up a woolen coal
which was lviug there. As she did so
she was both surprised and frightened
to observe a bright light surrounding
the hand that held the gartucn'. At
the same time the electric current pass
ed aloug the arm shocking her quite
severely. When her husband was told
of the fact ho discredited its reality,
thinking there was more imagination
than anything else iu it. So the next,
evening, to convince the incredulons
better half, she turned the gas out in
the room where they were sitting, and
letting tier hair down, began combing
it. A remarkable ilisplay of light was
the result, The sparks flew around in
every direction, and there was a sharp,
crackling sound as the teeth of the comb
passed between the hair. In layiughor
bauds upon iron the laly does not
observe the peculiarities referred to, bnt
the instant sho touches a woollen cloth
the fire begius to fly and the shocks
follow one another in rapid succession.
"Millieent" wants to know what in
fluence has the moon on tho tide? It
makes a tied dog howl all night, Milli
eent, and tbat's about the only thing
there is tied in this Mississippi country
that we know of.
SpanMi ltefliitie.
I was asked by one of the dark-eyed,
fasciuating, graceful and stately dear
ones of Madrid if I would ride out to
see her friends, who were arranging
costumes for the coming fetes. I read
ily assented. How far m you think
was tho ridn or drive? Merely round
the cornel lint ' walk it with that
flowing robe, graeeful mantilla and tiny
feet of the deep and dark eyed beauty
would be a painful piece of pedestrian
ism. Wli-d she lacks iu walking she
makes up iu talking. Whew ! Steam
and electric conversation is nothing to
a Madrid belle's tongue on topics of
costume, at b ast. The brilliant way in
which she criticised Sunor Ame'icauo
aud Sr-nor Juan Iugles, as she stybju
her previous John Bull guest, was, in
the spasmodic language of Walt Whit
man, "a caution to snakes."
"D'os Senor Americano live on th
Pilgrims' Bock when at home?"
1 rcplv, in all simnlicity, that I do
not, and ask why she puts such a Puri
tanical qiu-stiou.
"Oh, h -nor is so cold and rigid iu
faying but one yes and ouo uc, when
at least, wo want a dozen."
Has nny one ever seen a Spanish
bello sew? I never have; even so so,
Ot the half-dozen beauties in this
primp, not oue of them could put a
th i 'ad through tho eye of a net-die
half a.s ea-iy ai tho Biblical camel
could proeeed through it. Not one of
them ever stitched in all their lives,
Two ouly kuew how crochet wotk was
dono, but never did it. I know a m m
in the lenal profession who could beat
them all a m edio and thread, and her
riiiy-boiiing und backstitchiug, etc
Their entire lives have been spent in
reading French novels, unraveling
French modiste riddles of dress and
tho bills. They toil not, neither do
they spin; and yet Solomon, in all his
glory, is not I trust never will be
equal to oue or a dozou of them. What
lilies ( f the valley! What daffy-down-dilli?s!
i'et not one of thrm would re
fuse to be a housewife. Young man,
don't como here for a helpmate. Von
can do better at homo. They can sing
afer a fashion; they can play tho piano
fairly well and strum the guitar like
angels, but to patch your pantaloon
they would struggle aud "die in the
breach," absolutely defeated failures.
Tin v c;in paint in water colors all the
"still life" your imagination may de
sire, but to boil a dish of sweet pnta
tue'3 would be a case of "hot water and
uo food," as was tho event with breit
nnin's belle. A Madrid beauty is not a
joy forever, and, if she keeps on as she
is. she never will be.
The Kelson M il).
A b'-y etunitd ff'tu school cue day
with a rep ,r' showing that his scholar
ship h id fallen below the Usual average.
"Well," said his lather, "you've fallgu
below this mouth, have you?"
"Yes, sir."
' How did it happen? '
"Don't know, sir."
The father knew, if his k-jii did net.
lie hud i l"-cl ved u number of cheap nov
els seat'eled about the huilse, but lie had
tint thought it worth while to say any
thing until a lining opportunity should
r-ll'-r 11.1 ll. A ba-k-t of app'es stood
upon the floor, and lc stud, -
"Empty tho-e ap 1 an I l.ikt tho
basket and bring It to ire halt bill of
chips. And tow." ho continued,
"put those apples lu-'!; into the bisket.
When half the apples w re repl i"eii in
the basket, the sol: .-aid,
"F.ther, they roll oil - 1 can't put in
auy more."
"Put theiu in, I tell you."
"But, farther, I can't put tbein in."
"Put them iu.J No; of course yon
can't put tin in in. Do you expect to
till a bucket half iu!! of chips, and tli-u
fill it with appb-s? You .-aid you didn't
know bow you fell behind at sciio. 1. and
I will tell you. Your mind i like that
basket; it will ii"t hold but about, so
much; and here you have been the past
mouth tilliu.; it up with : ouict Mug
worse than chips woithless, cheap
novels."
The boy turned on his beets, aud
said,
"I see the point."
Hi other (iar.lner on ( lin k.
"Will cheek freeze?" mused the presi
dent, as ho stroked tho back of his
neck. "I think not. Dar am some
things in dis world which neither sor
row, pain nor cold weather kin git de
best of, an' onu of 'cm urn cheek. It
am lively in do hottest, days of a hot
summer, and de worst blizzard of win
ter doan' trouble it at. nil, It am
part an' parcel of our government. It
am gallopin' aronn iu high places us
well as low. It am seen in do State
Department as well as at the doah of
de theater. De nitn dat hasn't got any
soon pines away an' dies. De man wl o
has do mos' of it soon builds him a
brick house with a mansard roof. It
kin bo shot, drowned an' hung, bnt,
when run over by an ice-waon, tum
bled from a I uiblin' or squeezed be
tween two freight kyars, it walks aroun'
nex' day as if nullin had happened.
Free Press,
The Mong of Poierlj.
A J"lly "hi lellow am I, l-'.vs,
All ee.tt.i h- to me me 1 li - -nine .
S"tt el .tliiii:; .ne I i-nel- : follies ami toys.
Wlmh iitleii an- pmeh i-e l with shame,
lift LneK .nut Jb-- P., nun , it Ioiil; while a o.
Wi le e. a- -. -"I p,..le rholllll he ;
J'li. y 1 ,. 1 !!. niioth'T. 1' I Inive yon to know.
And I ii in their itr-,nto. ,,u see, ha ! ha '.
An I 1 ;nn tin it oIlsMlno. yn -o -.
'I tie- ( 'h'livh iiinl tie- .St.i'e may e.,nti ne at my
fill,
Mie.r prayers und tie 1 1 iws won't avail ;
I'll have my i i-'eiiee in spi'e of tle-m all,
And many ti ne i-.iihi.- I'll assail.
Tin- lieiu li may arrent in'-, eoiiileinn an- as vile
Anil eovu my lio.ly with pears ;
Tin ii put tin- in pi 'ie.n. Lu' there I will smtlf,
A tnl heat a tattoo on the Lars, ha ' ha !
And Lea! a ta'tou on the ha i s.
I'll,. L-n a' of pi 's h'-l". in sp"akiiiK of me.
Sid : " The poor will he always Willi jnm."
sju make up wnir mnnl- aiel hid Is a - e vharitr
Aii'l hive ,lo tin- ni"-t they ean '1".
I'll raile r he loi.l of 'le- homeless anil Ii""
Than Kaiser. Pope. (' if. or the Kim; ;
"lli. y'ie always in ilaiii;. r "I d'-ath. don't you
Wlnl- I in my r.u ilnn-e and -in'. ha ! ha !
While I ill 1::V r.i".- ihllll'- lllel sill;:
I I K1S 01 IVI MlhST.
At. the gate of the cemetery of Avig
non, in France, the patents of a child
certified to have die I of croup insisted
oti having the coffin opened to take a
last look. The child was found breath
ing, and was eipected t bo saved.
The next transit of Venus takes placa
1 e comber 0, l-"2.
DavidCroekett was born at Limc-ftone,
Twin., August 17, 17Mi. He was put to
death by order of Santa Anna, of Mexi
ico, March (i lS'tn.
When a homestead settlor dies bo
fore he campletos his cbibs th widowt
or in case of her death, tho h"irs, may
continue settlement or cultivation and
obtain title. If both parents die, leav
ing iufiiut children, the homo:dcad may
be sold for e i.-h for the benefit of such
children; or the children may coutinue
settlement and receive title.
Sadie West, who plundered Mr. Alex
ander Swilt, of Cincinnati, in New York,
was tried, convicted and sentenced with
in thirty-ouo hours. The trial was hnr
lied swiftly through in order that Mr.
Swift could Marl iot Europe, and he
gavu his evidence, recovcri-d his plop
et'ty, including bis pa-sage tickets, and
w.is on board the steamship before the
verdict of guilty was rendced.
A levuisvillo merchant took a travelet
oil' tho road and tried advertising.
While a traveler tuit him .l,0C0 a year,
.?l,t)i!H Worth of advertising brought him
one-fourth iu jiv trade. But it didn't
help the pretty girls in the country
towns to kill tin!- marly so pleasantly.
A curious enterprise is being conduct
ed iu New Jersey of grinding worn-out
Iudia rubber over-shoes to make what
is called "stock." This material is
Lrrupht in barrels aud is pressed by tho
manufacturers into new India rubber
good-. A thill coating of fresh rubber
Miruish makes them look quite equal to
ait'des of the best quality, but they are
snid to have au outrageous lack of dur
ability, UlMOIiOlS
A cookiii:' club -the rolling pin.
Sleep may "knit tip the raveled
sleeve of care," but it won't darn the
torn stockings nt p iwrty worth a cent.
"A Lady Subscriber" asks whv Paris
papers are so wicked. We do not
know, but an exchange informs us that
there aro one hundred women journalists
in Paris.
The Cambridge Tribune ask: When
day broke, did auy one pick up the
pieces? That's what I never could lind
out, but knew there was considerable
in i -I
Elephant-, it is believed, can be
t infill, to play billiards, Ifso.it will
be a pivnt relief to young men who are
now obliged to give up so much of their
valuable time to this worn.
A man with a red nrvio doesn't neod a
placard hung around his neck to tell
tho world what caused it. You're right
he don't. The little joker starts off as
soou as he begins to smilo.
There miht have been a time when
servant girls bad a penchant for wealing
their mistress' clothes, bnt that was in
the days of low wastes. Nowadays tho
average Rirl would not be seen iu such
phabby dresses as the mistresi is
obliged to appear iu.
"How botutiful is Shakspere, Adol
phns! ' lipsed Arethusa, as sho turned
the pages of tho immortal bard. " 'Na
ture's sweet restorer.' isn't that fine?"
"iieautifnl," said Adolphus. "How ap
propriate a motto for a hair restora
tive!" Mr. Bcecher says it is easy to be good
and do right if the head, livor, bowels
and heart are all in good working order,
We'll bet a dollar and a half with Henry
Ward that, when a man's vital organs
aro in good condition he feols more
like "raising the old boy," than he does
when he is broken up with the head
ache, liver complaint, dyspeptic stom
ach, and heartburn.