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3Fh4 djjhalham ewri.j
H. A. LONDON, Jr., j
EDITOR AN!) PROPRIETOR. I
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PITTSB01tt) CHATHAM CO., N. C, DECEMBER 21, 1882
IVr larger advertisement liberal contracts will
'Tis bitter to endure the wrong
Which evil hands nnd tongue oommit:
The buld encroachments of the strong.
The shnfts of calumny and wit;
The scornful be rrinjj of the proud,
The sneers and laughter of the crowd.
And harder Mill it is to bear
The censure of tho (rood mid wise,
Who, ignorant of what yon are,
Or blinded liy thu slanderer' lien,
Look coldly on. or pass you by
Jl 6ilunco, villi averted eye..
9.lt when tlic- frica ls in whom yon trust,
As steadfast us tho iiioii itt it in rock,
Fly, nnd aru scaltciud liko thu dust.
Before, misfortune's whirlwind shock,
Nor love remains to diner youi fall,
Tliis in more ten illo than all.
But even this, and these aye! more
Can be endured, and hope survive,;
The nohlo spirit till niny soar.
Although the body fail to thrive.
Disease nnd want may wear the frnmt,
Thank O id! tho soul i still tho earns.
ltotd up your head, then, man of nitcf,
Nor longer to tlm tempest he nd;
Or soon or lato must oomo relinf
The coldest, darkest night wiU nJ.
Hope in tho true heart never dios'
Trust on! the day star yet bhall riso.
Conscious of purity nnd worth,
Yon may, with ralm nsaurnnco, wnit
The tnrdy recompense of earth:
And e'en should justice come too late
To sooth the spirit's homeward flight,
Still Heaven, at last, tho wionjj shall rijlit.
There was no doubt about it; John
Weare was perfectly wretched I hat
night. He quarretcil with Jennie nt ll,
and he wasn't going to tnako it up.
The fact was sho gave herself: too
many airs, and he didn't mean to stand
it any longer. He didn't rare if she
was pretty; that was no reason why
she should let a half dozen fellows at a
time hang about tho shop, or stroll in
ono at a tinip, and, leaning on her
elbows, chatter and smirk and smile
over the eounter; cadets and officers,
too, wild young fellows, who only did
so for their own idle amusement, and
would ho more dream of marrying her
than they would of inviting her to a
ball that was coming off next month.
To lie sure, he was only a common
cavalry soldier, but then he had been
in the service a good many years now,
had an excellent character, and a good
trade at his back, his father had died
nothing since, and there was a cottage
all ready for Jennie to walk into, and
they might settle down at once if she'd
only be sensible. Jennie acted its show
woman for her sister, Mrs. Kvans. A
very poor little shop it was, very small
and badly stocked, for Mrs. Kvans had
only managed to get a few pounds'
worth of things with what had been
subscribed for her at the garrison after
the fever had carried off her husband.
The speculation answered pretty well
at first, for many of the officers' wives,
knowing what an industrious woman
Mrs. Kvans was, made a point of buy
ing their tapes, and cotton, and sticks
of sealing-wax of her. Then Jennie's
pretty face was seen behind the coun
ter, and the shop was tilled from morn
ing until night with ofliccrs and frisky
young cadets, and the original custom
ers took Might though Mrs. Kvans did
Dot know it, believing the business was
safe in the keeping of Jennie, and she
worked hard at dressmaking (she had
three children tosupport, and the shop
alone would not do it.)
The ofliccrs were not profitable cus
tomers, for they only went to flirt with
Jennie, under the excuse of buying a
penny paper, or perhaps asking for a
Jennie made the most trim, and
pretty, and obliging of shop-women,
and the plaeo itself wits always a pat
tern of neatness; but the officers' wives
did not care to go and buy thread
where they were evidently interrupt
ing a flirtation, and so the business
continued to fall off, and Mrs. Kvans
began to get quite unhappy about it.
Jennie --pretty, kind-hearted, thought
less Jennie had no idea that she had
anything to do with it, or she would
have sent every one of her admirers off
at a pace that would have astonished
them. She had only been too de
lighted, after her brother-in-law died,
to come from Devonshire and live with
her sister at Woolwich not only be
cause she was very fond of her sister
but also because sho had wished to see
John Weare again. She had made his
acquaintance when her brother and
he for they had been in the same regi
ment were stationed at Plymouth,
and she had paid them a flying visit
with her father. John had told her
that he was tired of the service and
wished to settle down, and she in
wardly thought that he could do no
better than to ask her to settle with
him. He had been very attentive when
she came to Woolwich, and gradually
established himself on the footing of n
lover, till he found thu shop always
filled with officers and cadets. At firt.t
he was shy of appearing before his
superiors, then he got jealous, and at
Ut angry, for he felt and knew that
they meant her no good, and, beside.it
was doing real injury to the business
of the bhop. At last he spoke his
mind and told the coquettish Jennie
what he thought, and was snubbed for
"If you think I don't know how to
take care of myself, Mr. Weare, you
an; very much mistaken, and I don't
want, any one to tell mo what's right,
or wrong. I know for myself."
"Well, Miss Jennie, I didn't mean to
give offenso. I nly told you what I
"Then you might have kept your
thoughts to yourself," she said with a
little toss of her pretty head, "unless
they hail been nice ones," sho added
lit heard the aside and picked up his
"It-'s awfully hard, too, when one
that, cares really can't get near you,"
be replied. Just then Jennie caught
sight of Captain McGee, a tall and
handsome man, with long whiskers and
a red nose, coming in the direction of
the shop, with a big bunch of Mowers
in his hand. She had heard John
Wcare's last words, but she was se
cretly of the opinion that "he ought to
have come to th" scratch before," so
she thought that a little jealousy might
do him good.
"Oh, here comes (.'apt. McGee," sho
said, in a delighted tone.
"Well, he's just the biggest blackleg
in the service, Jennie, and if you take
my advice you'll send him off sharp."
"I believe you arc jealous, Mr. Weare,
and telling stories about the Captain ;
he is always very polite to me," and
sho smoothed her pretty hair and ar
ranged the triiles on the counter.
"Oh, he's polite enough, no doubt."
"And he's bringing me some Mowers."
"Now look here. Jennie, are you go.
ing to take them?"
"Of course I am."
"Well, then, good-by."
"Good-by," i.hc laughed. Of course
she knew he wouldn't go.
"Jennie, ho'il be in directly, and I
shall be off, but you must choose be
tween him and me. If you are going
to keep on talking to him, I shall never,
come in the place again, so which is it"
"Hut I am not joking; 1 shall never
see you again."
"No more am I joking, so good-by.
"Good-by"--Mini he went
He kept resolutely away for a whole
month never once went near the
place. If Jennie wanted him she
might send for him, or get her sister to
invite hint to tea, as she had d-ne be
fore. Hut John Weare was not sent
for, neither was he invited to tea, and
his spirits began to wax low.
"If she cared about me she'd have
got in my way somehow before thi.s
trust a woman," he thought.
The idea of not being cared for was
not cheerful. That night he strolled
carelessly by the shop, but on the op
posite side of tho way. Nothing was
to be seen of Jennie, lie walked on
in a brown study, then crossed over
ami went deliberately by the shop, with
only one eye, however, turned in its
direction, but not a sign of Jennie. He
went back to the barracks in a dejected
frame of mind.
"It's an awful pity such a nice girl;
and there's the cottage all ready for her
to step into, and me ready to retire
from the service, and a good trade at
my back; it's too bad, all along of that
Captain MeGeo, too. And the fruit in
tho garden (of the cottage) all ripe,
and uo one to pick it."
Tho very next morning John Weare
walked deliberately into the shop and
asked for a penny newspaper, and had
the felicity of being served by Mrs.
"Quite a stranger, Mr. Weare," she
said, but that was the only remark she
made, and for the life of bim he could
not screw up his courage to ask for
That night John Weare was miser
able. "She can't care a rush for me," he
thought, and marched all over the town
and nearly to Greenwich and back in
The n'.xt "lay was a lucky ono for
John. He coo across Bibbs. Bibbs
was Mrs. Kvtu't eldest boy. No one
knew what his real name was, or why
he was called Bibbs; but he was never
called anything else.
"Bibbs," said John Weare, "come and
have some fruit;" and he carried him
off in triumph to the cottage and stuff
ed him with gooseberries until he
couldn't move, M.d black currents un
til his mouth was as black as a crow.
Then he cariicd him inside and stood
bim on the table, and sat down before
"How old are you. Bibbs?"
He thought it better to begin tin
conversation with a question.
'Five and a half. Is that your
sword up there?"
"Yes. Who gave you those bronze
Now he knew Jennie had given them
to him, but he wanted to hear her
"Auntie. Sho's going away soon,"
he added. "Let ine look at your sword
"Where is she going to?" ho asked
"Devonshire-. Do let me try on your
"Where is she going ?" he asked, with
a sick feeling in his heart.
"She's ill, I think, and aim's always
crying now; one day she was crying
over her silver thing you gave her, and
kissed it like anything."
The 'silver thing" was a littlo heart
of about the size of a shilling, which he
had bought at Charleton fair last Oc
tober, and timidly requested her to ac
cept. John Weare jumped up and showed
Bibbs his sword, and carried him on his
back over the place, and entreated him
to have more black currants in his de
light. But Bibbs declined.
"Aunt Jennie's going to bring mo
sonic from Kit ham to-night," he said.
So Jennie was going to Kltham, was
she. John Weare took Bibbs home,
and on his way presented him with a
white woolly lamb that moved on
wheels and sqeaked, and a monkey
that went up a stick on being gently
"Crying over her silver thing!" said
John Weare. "I'll go and hang about
the Kltham road till I see her and beg
And he went, and Jennie met him,
and pouted and declared she hadn't
once thought of him. and then broke
down ami cried. And John begged
her pardon, and declared that he had
been a heartless brute; and then Jennie
contradicted him and said it was all her
fault, and told him how Mrs. Dunlob.
the colonel's wife, had one day walked
in and (n, her. in the kindest possible
manner, that she was spoiling her sis
ter's business, fur the ladies who had
bec.i interested in her welfare kept
away I ause. of Jennie's Mirting pro
pensities, which tilled titi the sho) with
idle oilieers who were always in the
way, and how she hail been so ashamed
and wretched, ami so cut up at tho do
set I inn of John Weare, that she had
intended to go back to Devonshire.
"But you won't now V" he said, as
tlmy leaned over the stile leading to
the Kltham fields. "You'll get ready
at once, and we'll be married as soon as
possible, before the fruit ill the garden
It took her a long time to talk her
into it (about three-quarters of an
hour), but then she was very happy at
heart, and chattered like a young mag
pie, mid told John how sho had snub
bed Captain McGee, and had thrown
all of his Mow ers cut of tho window.
"And it was really through that
dear Bibbs that you waylaid me to
night?" she asked.
"Why, but for him I might never
have seen you again!"
' Perhaps not."
"I'll give Bibbs a regular hag when
I get home," she thought. And she
did, and the day before sho was mar
ried she bought him a rocking-horse,
which he delights in to this day.
It is never well to use large words
when small ones will express the same
meaning. A lady who was making a
call on some acquaintances observed
that the furniture had been changed,
and remarked to the lady she had been
c.illing on :
"You havo been tncUmorphosed ;
"Y-e-es," said tho other, hesitat
ingly. "You mean calciuiined, I sup
pose ; it looks lietter, doesn't it?"
Another lady was showing a visitor
around her grounds, which were under
the care of a landscape gardener, and
she inquired of tho friend how she liked
"Why, I think," sho said, "that you
"Why," said the other, "we don't ex
pect to bury anyone here. There is a
good cemetery quite near."
"What caused your little boy's sick
ness ?" asked a plain woman of a mother
whose little son was ill.
"Ho was climbing a ladder," an
swered the lady, "and lost his equi
librium." "Poor little fellow !" said the sympa
thetic woman, "do buy him another !
he'll be more careful the next time 1"
"Did you find the people indigent ?"
asked a clergyman of a wealthy mem
ber of his church who had been calling
on some poor families.
"Oh, dear, no," answered the lady,
"they were respectable, but as poor as
A French doctor makes a business
of curing snoring, and warrants a cure
1 for I2t.
THE MOOX AMD THE WEATHER.
Home Haperatlllane t'oaccrnlnii Fair l.noa't
Inllururc t'roim, i:tc.
No belief is more general than that
the moon exercises an influence over
the weather. People who declare that
they are not superstitious in the small
est degree, believe that a change In the
weather is almost certain to occur with
every change in tho ntoun. Perhaps
they inherit, the belief, but if not they
acquired it very early in life and
strengthened it through years of obser
vation. Their observations were not
very accurate, and their methods of
recording them far from methodical.
They believe that the weather changes
with tho moon, and when a sudden
change did occur at the appearance of
a new quarter, half or full moon they
remembered it and sometimes noted it
down. If tho weather did not change
at or about the same time the moon
did they did not charge their memory
with the failure. By means like these
they became more strongly convinced
of the inMtieneo of the moon oil the
Scientific men in different times and
in various countries have attempted to
overturn the popular ami almost uni
versal belief that the moon influenced
the weather. They have been at the
trouble of keeping an accurate account
of the prevalence of winds, the fall of
water, the degree of temperature and
other phenomena, with a view of show
ing whether changes are more likely to
occur at one time in the lunar month
than at another. They have all come
to the conclusion that no coincidence
exists between the changes of the moon
and those of the weather. At the
meeting of the Britisli Association for
tho Advancement of Science, this year,
Sir William Thomas stated that "care
ful observation with the barometer,
thermometer and anemometer, at the
time of new moon, full moon and half
moon, has failed to establish any rela
tion whatever between the phases of
the moon and the weather," and that
'if there is any dependence of the
weather on the phases of the moon, it
is only to a degree quite imperceptible
to ordinary observation." Still, it is
questionable if this announcement will
in the lea-t shake the faith of farmers
and sailors who, inure than other
'lasses of persons, are directly inter
ested in th" weather, in their old ideas
about the inMuenee of the moon upon
it. They w ill go through life not ex
pecting to see a "drought broken" or
the cessation of a continuous rain till
the moon changes. Neither will their
faith be changed in the favorable or
unfavorable inllucncu of the moon on
certain crops planted at different times
i:i the lunar month. They will con
tinue tv plant potatoes and other root
crops "in the dark on the moon," and
to sow small grains "in the light ot the
moon." They will slaughter their hogs
and their bullocks, if they are intended
for home consumption, when the moon
is on the increase, so that "the meat
w ill not waste away in the frying-pan.''
They will, however, lay up rail fence
while the moon is decreasing in size so
as to prevent the rails from warping
and from rotting out before their time.
It may be said that no evil results
from believing in a harmless supersti
tion. Such, however, is not always the
case. Dr. Harper has shown that su
perstitious people are very likely to be
conquered in war. They w ill not set
out on a march or engage in any haz
ardous undertaking unless all the signs
and omens are favorable. If they place
reliance in lucky and unlucky days
they will accomplish less in a given
t i mo than people, w ho regard all days
as of equal value. If they rely on su
pernatural aid they w ill not use their
best exertions. They will attribute
victory or defeat to other than human
and natural causes. If such are the
effects in a belief in superstitions on a
people engaged in war, similar unfa
vorable effects would be observed
among peoplo engaged in a peaceful
pursuit like that of farming. The de
lay of two weeks in planting a crop
would often result in failure. It is
likely that the general belief in certain
agricultural superstitions has had much
to do with rendering farming unprofit
able 11 is generally very dirTIci.lt to
discover the origin of a superstition,
on account of its great antiquity. Su
perstitions beliefs are the oldest we in
culcate. They are also among the first
we receive in childhood. They ure
taught in the nursery g before we
learn to read, an-' many years before
we begin to study science. Such br
liefs are very difficult to dispos. of
Our judgment may condemn t iem as
follies, but they remair infiuenccour
actions. Few persons are willing to
acknowledge that they are supersti
tions, although they hold to beliefs
having no foundation n carefully con
idered observations made by them
selves or ers. The' hold to the
doctrine Hiat relations exist between
: ei tain things that cannot be explained
with our present knowledge of science.
Cloth turbans are worn.
Black stockings ar" still in favor. coasts of the country ; but inure men
Bed is very lashiotuMe for small are employed, and thu catch of whales
children. is larger olt theeastern coast, especially
Little girls still wear " Mother Hub- off Kii province,
bard " froi ks and doaks. The fishermen of thu little town of
The round, plain-finished muff u Kozh have a lookout-tower perched
varied by the satchel muff, trimmed upon the rocks, far up uii the hill-side,
with tasseled silk cords. , A sentinel is kept constantly watching
Stockings are now mure fashionable for the spouting hujiri ("number-one
finished with clocking of self-color llsh"), as the natives ca!I the whale,
than with clocking of contrasting Lung boats, holding from four to ten
color. : men, are kept ready launched. These
Uough-surfacud ehinu materials in hardy fellows row with tremendous
woolen mixtures of many colors are energy, as if in a priu race. If the
fancy of the Parisians at the present whale, are numerous, tin1 men wail, in
moment. their boats, with ;,-.-.ilis on their pins
Many Fanohon and capote bonnets aud straps ready to slip on at a
ure trimmed with ruche; of lace and moment's notice, all in order to put out
tiny Mowers or loops of ribbon inside to sea. A gay Hag. with a curious do
the brim. i-e, floats at each stem. The whale-
Black stockings are varied by stock-1 ln,..n iiro divided into scullers, netters,
ings of high and strong colors, and by and huipooners, or grappling-iron men.
stockings selected to match the colors : Japanese never row, but scull with
of costumes. curiously bent, long sweeps, which
The leather straps with which some swing on a half-round knob set into a
cloth and flanhel suits are fastened and pivot, the handle end being usually
trimmed are either of red Bussia or strapped at tho proper height. The,
yellow leather. ! device on each flag is different, and '
The Jate.,t caprice is to fasten up the ' spears, nets and grappling irons are
front of ilannel and cloth suits with j marked, so that the most skillful get,
straps of leather passing through j proper credit for their courage, sore j
buckles of the same. j aim and celerity. j
Dainty silk stockings, to be worn in j Tho boatmen are lightly clad in !
the dinner toilet, are covered over the I short, sleeveless, cotton jackets, with ;
insUp with an embroidered cashmere ; leggings, like greaves, reaching from '
design, -in cashmere colors. j knee to ankle. Around their waists j
Kach leading dressmaker of Paris j ar kilts made of coarse rice-straw, j
makes dresses according to his or her ' The nets, which are about twenty feet '
own fancy, and, if possible, different ; square, with meshes three feet wide,
to all others. Hence the variety in ! are made of tough, sea-grass rope, two
styles. j inches thick.
Stocking! in plain colors are pre. Twenty or thirty of these nets are i
ferred to those in stripes, though Bay- i provided, and then lightly tied together, I
adere striping, in several colors, is So as to make one l u re net, from four
seen in both imported and American j hundred to six hundred feet long. As i
hosiery. I soon as thr signal from the tower is
Portieres are now declared as ueees- i given, the boats put nut, two by two,
sary in tasteful house-furnishing as each pair of the bir:-r boa's h.ivinji
curtains, and, indeed, to a great extent,
door-draperies are supplanting wooden
Natural plucked beaver is a popular
variety of fur for young ladies. Sets
of natural pl'p .;eil heaver are in muffs
and shoulder-capes, otherwise known
as pelerine capes.
Elegant mantle ai.l cloaks lined
wun quiiici silk are ,.,.,,. , nroeadeu l ,,,d, ready for another
silk or velvet. The handsomot of : ,1,-,,,,. should this al-o' be successful,
theso wraps are trimmed with rich j the game is soon up with the whale,
black lace, while others are bordered j ("snally, the moro hu Motuiders, the
with fur- ! more tightly his terrible collars hold
Laoo and embroidery are as popular j hill)i (.ntai,gijng his lins and quickly
for trimming winter dresses as they ; t.xilausti:ig his strength. No sooner
were for summer suits for children, i Me rise for breath than the rowers
Dark colored velvet or plush dresses ; dash dose to him, giving the harpoon
for littlo girls are ornamented in this ers an opportunity to hurl their darts
Wilv- I at his big body, until he looks like an
Cashmere grows in favor for simple ; exaggerated pin-cushion. As bis
dresses, and is worn in all the subdued ' struggles become we iker, the grap
colors, as well as in black. New suits j pling-iruiis are thrown on and the
or cashmere arc prettily trimm-d with boats tow the carets near shore,
embroidery in silk or chenille, or with Xo land their pnze, the successful
bands of plush or velvet. j hunters lash abot t it stout straw-
Sealskin is as fashionable as in past ; rop,.Si a. atl;t(.h to them a cable,
seasons. The rediugote of sealskin is ' wil,ing the wthl.r t.mJ ari.HIja
long and nearly tight-fitting, with j wiu,lIass wn tw Will.h, Then,
plain coat sleeves. Sealskin sacques ( wiUl g;V .m,j livt.,v tllt.y haul
are even longer than they were, some pnoriIU)U. 111:LSS ...i.,,
of thcrn reaching almost to the hem of
Fur-lined garments are losing favor,
as tho fur is apt to rub off on the
'othing, and dealers say that many
dies are having the fur lining taken
ut on this account. The preference
for linings this season w ill be either for
plush or quilted silk.
Dr. Talma- Deacrlbra a (iesd Wataan.
You see hundreds of men who are
successful only because there is a rea-, vtT-v iMn which ,ho ,aw" of EnS,ish
son at home why they are successful. 1,11,1 American society positively pro
If a man marry a good, honest soul he ! 1,iblt' sa-vs a Sax,,,,-V '
makes his fortune ; if hemarrv a fool. ' t,ie Vhic:W 'W' 1,1,1 11 is """'
the Lord help him. The wife 'mav be 1 wmh what etiquette is
a silent partner in the firm. There
may be only masculine voices down on
the exchange, but there often comes
from the home circle a potential and
e.lv.itinfr inMuenee. The woman nf
Sh.innn.at whose house the prophet
Elisha stopped, was a great woman and
the Minerior of her husband. Tie. as
far as I can understand, was what wo
often find In our day, a man of large
fortune and only a modicum of brains,
intensely quiet, sitting a long while in
the same place w ithout moving hand or
foot ; if you say yes resp.mding yes ; if
you say no responding no ; inane, eyes
half shut, mouth w idc open, maintain-
imr Iiim iiositirm in socictv onlv lieennse
lie has a large patri.uonv. ilis wife
belonged to that class of people who
need no name to distinguish them, no
title of princess or queen. She was
great in. her hospitality. Jupiter has
the surname of "The Hospitable," and
he was said to avenge the wrongs of
strangers. Homer extolled h .spitalitv
in his versa. The Arabs were punctii-
ious about it.
To save a dollar is the easiest thing
in the world. Don't spen'', it.
The Whale Hunters of Japan.
The whale fishery of Japan is car
ried on us a regular business on both-
lh ml t.iekle, and all armed with
darts a id spears, liowing in front of
the whale, the net is dropped in his
path. If r-killluliy done, the hug - tMi
runs his noun or jaw into a inc-di. 1 1
at once dives, and tries to shake off th
net. This he cannot do. for the Mpturc
in which he i-entangled immediately
breaks off from the rest, which is
The whale is now cut up into chunks.
Its tidbits go on the fisherman's grid
iron, or are pickled, boiled, roasted or
fried. St. Xirholas.
Where Smoking Is Always Allowed.
Tr in itri4nrit that u tteonln to mtii.
: , , ... , ,,
1 puloiislv polite and so thoroughly con-
j , . . . nillVpm(mf ,'
iron hand of etiquette should not only
tolerate but encourage seine of the
and is not. In Saxonv it is not impo
lite to smoke in the society of ladies
not any more than it is to carry a cane
or wear a watch. Smoking is allow ed
in manv of the first-class theatres;
pn,ok,n ,s a"T
first part of th fashionable concerts,
Smoking is allowed at the dinner table
in the fashionable cafes and clubs. The
Saxon ladies are accustomed to tobacco
smoke and pay no attention to it. It
is not polite to smoke in a private
house until you are invited to do so,
but the invitation comes along as
naturally as the request, that you be
seated on a chair or sofa. At the
evening receptions and parties no
"k'K U '-'.'-that is. not in the
rmans. but there is a smoking
HmU'r or a vcrr.nda or balcony close
l'.v- tl,e Stl'i 'u go out
and puff to their heart's content,
i A I"" !' constructed
. from lhe Coul,;m oil u'rr'p- "VlT u"'
Mountains, to Novofos.isk
harbor, on the Black sea cast, has
been opened. This line of pipe, which
is 105 miles long, can deliver every day
l,000,t)00 po ids of petroleum.
We Scatter Seeds.
We scatter weds wilh careless hand,
And dream we ne'er hIiu.II see them moro
Hut for a thousand yean,
Their fruit appenis,
111 weeds thai III': laud,
Or healthful stor.
The deeds we do, the words we say,
Into still air the) .'cem to fleet ;
We count them past.
Hut they shall last
In the dread judgment il.c-y
And we Jiall nir.'t,
I eharp' tiiee ti- the years y.ino by,
Fur the love of brethren dear,
Keep, then, the one true way
In work and play,
Ia'A in the world Ihuir cry
Of wot thou hear.
PUNGENT PA I.' AG JM PHS.
How to live long -Never be short.
Anything but a pleasant trip Fall
ing over a sidewalk obstruction.
Girls are more courageous then men.
Tiny are reaiv to make a match with
a fellow twice their size.
The False Prophet, who is disturb
ing Kgypt, is the old niati who know
how the election would go.
There is an Kast Indian lady in Paris
who can talk in twelve languages.
Fortunately .she is not manic 1.
Herbert, spencer's version of the
popular phrase, "Givetw a rest:" It if
t ime to preach t he gi is pel of rda.xat ion.'
"I aim to tell the truth." "Yes,"
interrupted an acquaintance, "and you
are probably the woist shot in Amer
ica." An exchange says. "There will be
no pronounced loud styles this winter.'
Don't you believe it. The style ui
snoring will he just as loud as ever.
A Western wit tells what he would
do if he were a jackass. A rival re
marks tied w hat people desire to know
is, wh:V. h" would do if he wasn't one
"May I hope" was on the loenge
that hr. hmd.-l to h r. and when shf
crossed i. in the -1" and "e" and wrote
" -. y. u" l'.-1'ore !! May," he used
T.oy. I'll teach you to fear youi
pants," an ir;d" Austin parent
swinging a strap, "I'll teach you.''
"Don't hit in.-, pa. I know how already.
.1 H.--1 lool. at '( III."
"Miss r.r.iw n, I've been to learn how
to te'd fort une-," siii) a young fellow
to a bri:k brunette. -.Ins: ),( u,,. have
your hand, if you plea- -." "I..i, Mr.
White, how sudden yoll are! Well, go
and ask papa."
Concerning the ins-mo llochester girl,
w ho gets out of bed at midnight and
goes to work saw ing wood in the back
yard, it is said that her father deeply
deplores her insanity. l.u:t alw ays leaves
the wuod-j ile handy fur her to get at.
A reporter interviewed a prize fat
woman, whoso weight is 7J'J pounds.
When asked, -Do o i still claim to be
the largest fat woman in the world?'
she frigidly replied: -l'v use me, sir'
but I do not re vgnh e the title. 1 aiu
said to be- the largest lady on exhibi
tion." A bright little girl n -tiling among
the company at her father's residence
eat a certain occasion, a gentleman
whose face was s-. nsiderahly pock
marked, seemed niueh struck with his
appearance, and after the company re
tired inquir.-d who the "moth-eaten
"Tin-re is a young man in the parlor
ishes to see you, miss." remarked the
hall door attendant. "Did he bring
anything with him; any box or par
cel?" "Only a cane, miss." "Did his
coat tails rattle when he walked as if
there was a package of candy in his
pocket ?" "Nothing of the sort, miss.'
"Then tell bim F.e gone to visit a sick
friend and w on't be home for a week,"
returned the fair girl, falling back into
a horizontal position and resuming hot
perusal of "Truth Stranger than l'i
tioii ; or. The Liar I'limiLsked."
A Doctor's Substitute.
He w as a yo -ng man with a wild,
disordered look. lie rushed into the
oflice of a prominent city physician yes
terday, placed a small cup on the desk,
took off his coat, bared his right arm,
and whispered :
Do yon want " be bled?"'
" I do ! ( pcn a v in, and let mr
catch the lil I in this cup,"
" Too full in the bead?"
' Alas ! too full in the heart. Mi
atliaiiced w ill not believe me when I
t-H her that I love her better than my
life. I will write my love I will
write it in my own life-blood ! Pro
" Is that all you want?"
" All! Is not that sufficient ?''
" Veiling, man ni are a dodo ! Put
on your coat. 1 keep a red ink here
for the very purpose you desire, and I
will sell you a wind..- ill for a quar
ter." And the young man was not stuck.--Dttruit